I really am sorry for all my nonsense on this site

[bigdave17]

I've done online dating and put zero effort into it and in 3 days, I've had a 6/10 32 year old with a nice body and no kids message me. This is with pics that make me look a lot less attractive than real life. If I get professional photos done, I'm sure I would get way better results.

I met that beautiful Armenian girl in NY and she liked me immediately. That gorgeous Armenian girl in Toronto has been texting me nonstop for about a week. Fear and egregious lack of effort has doomed me in the past to a life of chronic singledom and it's just absolutely pathetic.

Honestly, it's weird, as much as I talk about my accomplishments. I almost do that to convince myself. I have such an unrealistic, delusional view of reality. In my head, for a long time, I thought that women only wanted men who were impossibly, ungodly perfect...like men who were top 0.0001% in everything. This caused me to discount my own positive traits. I'm realizing that a man with my traits (in terms of appearance, financial success, intelligence and character) is A)very rare and B)should be able to completely dominate any social event in life

I'm trying to be more and more comfortable in my skin. I feel like the more genuine I am, the more people are naturally drawn to me. I need to trust myself, stay within myself and let the success come to me naturally. A lot of small stuff I'm paying attention to - I want to speak very slowly and controlled and make sure I feel comfortable around people. When you're nervous, it makes others nervous also. I made a new friend today in my gym and in 20 minutes, we were getting along like best friends. I am still intensely afraid of approaching and asking out beautiful women but I am working hard to unravel that fear.

I'm sorry for all my previous threads of crying and complaining about nothing.

The biggest thing for me right now is fear of success. I'm almost like a torture kidnapping victim who is so used to the abuse, that they're afraid of freedom. I'm so used to being miserable and lonely, that I'm afraid of being in a happy relationship.

 

[bigdave17]

Literally invented a fantasy disorder to repeatedly "solve" to protect and promote the narcissistic disorder underneath lol

I don't know what you're referring to. In regards to women, I was very very harsh on myself

Felt like making 180K wasn't enough, I needed to make 400K to be good enough
Felt like being a 7.5/10 wasn't good enough, I needed to be a 10/10
etc... etc....

 

[Serenity]

Either someone else is on your account writing this post or you've finally started being genuine. I'm hoping for the latter.

I'm realizing that a man with my traits (in terms of appearance, financial success, intelligence and character) is A)very rare and B)should be able to completely dominate any social event in life

That's still a delusional way to think though. It's not as rare as you might think, it's just that guys who possess this don't go over the top trying to prove it. Because they don't feel the need to as they're generally just comfortable with themselves. So they're not obvious even though they're everywhere.

Edit: Not sure if this edit is quick enough, but the bottom line is to not judge yourself at all. If you judge yourself too highly you act accordingly, like an idiot full of himself. If you judge yourself too harshly, well you know the effect of that. If you're just comfortable you won't feel the need to judge yourself, you'll just naturally open up and experience your surroundings without being stuck in your head judging.

 

[bigdave17]

Either someone else is on your account writing this post or you've finally started being genuine. I'm hoping for the latter.



That's still a delusional way to think though. It's not as rare as you might think, it's just that guys who possess this don't go over the top trying to prove it. Because they don't feel the need to as they're generally just comfortable with themselves. So they're not obvious even though they're everywhere.

% of men at age of 25-35 making 100K = about 1%
% of men at age of 25-35 who are in great shape and good looking = say what? 10%?
% of men who are intelligent and high quality genuine people = say what? 20%?

what's 1% of 10% of 20%?

 

[Serenity]

% of men at age of 25-35 making 100K = about 1%
% of men at age of 25-35 who are in great shape and good looking = say what? 10%?
% of men who are intelligent and high quality genuine people = say what? 20%?

what's 1% of 10% of 20%?

Apart from this being misleading statistics at best, it is irrelevant. Tell me the percentage of men having none of those things, but has success with women. You'll see that while those factors help, they are not strictly necessary and isn't the main component of attraction.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Apart from this being misleading statistics at best, it is irrelevant. Tell me the percentage of men having none of those things, but has success with women. You'll see that while those factors help, they are not strictly necessary and isn't the main component of attraction.

Proves game is important

 

[Serenity]

Proves game is important

True! He's onto something about being comfortable with himself though, that's a great foundation to be built upon.

 

[bigdave17]

True! He's onto something about being comfortable with himself though, that's a great foundation to be built upon.

I feel like when I'm comfortable with myself and stay within myself, everybody I talk to likes me quite a bit

I struggle socially when I try too hard or feel nervous

 

[lamath]

Feels like an attitude problem
Doing all that just to get women and not for yourself.


With the $$ and looks you need to have the attitude thats goes with it.

 

[bigdave17]

Feels like an attitude problem
Doing all that just to get women and not for yourself.


With the $$ and looks you need to have the attitude thats goes with it.

I think if you're genuinely an awesome person, you will dominate socially by just being yourself. You just can't try too hard, you can't care about outcome. You have to be comfortable with yourself, etc...


now keep in mind, I only like people/women who are similar to myself...so me being me might not appeal to strippers or bartenders but I don't give a sh*t about that. I'm looking for classy, wholesome, very sweet, genuine women

 

[lamath]

I think if you're genuinely an awesome person, you will dominate socially by just being yourself. You just can't try too hard, you can't care about outcome. You have to be comfortable with yourself, etc...


now keep in mind, I only like people/women who are similar to myself...so me being me might not appeal to strippers or bartenders but I don't give a sh*t about that. I'm looking for classy, wholesome, very sweet, genuine women

I think the idea of your perfect women is very narrow, and is restricting your succes.
I can tell you that over the next few years your idea of the perfect women will change.

Try to be more open on what you like, try new stuff.
Being open to new experience and being more socially adaptive can be very attractive.


At 29 id just play the field a few more years, it will make you wiser and teach you what women to avoid.
Trust me if i would have had more experience i would have left my 12y LTR way sooner i did not see the signs.

 

[Serenity]

I feel like when I'm comfortable with myself and stay within myself, everybody I talk to likes me quite a bit

I struggle socially when I try too hard or feel nervous

That's usually the root cause of most unattractive behaviors. Many try acting in attractive ways, but it's really really hard to mask that insecurity underneath so it often fails. So they get even more neurotic over their behavior, thinking they didn't act good enough and this just adds to the problem.

I found this forum unhelpful in solving this probem, mostly you're just told to do this and do that. I'll tell you to continue what you've figured out, think less about what to do and find ways to be comfortable wherever you go instead.

 

[BeTheChange]

Apart from this being misleading statistics at best, it is irrelevant. Tell me the percentage of men having none of those things, but has success with women. You'll see that while those factors help, they are not strictly necessary and isn't the main component of attraction.

Depends what kind of women you want...some here are happy to bang 6s and 7s and speak as if this is the same thing as banging 9s.

Bigdave is actually right about this. Financial success, health, fitness, high intelligence and game are extremely rare in a single person.

If you want to pull 8s and 9s consistently long term you better believe you'll need at least two of looks, money and game.

 

[bigdave17]

Depends what kind of women you want...some here are happy to bang 6s and 7s and speak as if this is the same thing as banging 9s.

Bigdave is actually right about this. Financial success, health, fitness, high intelligence and game are extremely rare in a single person.

If you want to pull 8s and 9s consistently long term you better believe you'll need at least two of looks, money and game.

with or without game, they are extremely rare


the percent of individual earners who make 100K+ is around 1-3% in the age range of 23-40. How many men are good looking and in shape? 10% might be a stretch also

 

[sazc]

Hmmm, this post strikes me as if you are hitting the low point of mania. This is either new found wisdom or depression talking. Prove that it's wisdom by changing your life. Otherwise you need to go deal with your disorder.

 

[sazc]

with or without game, they are extremely rare


the percent of individual earners who make 100K+ is around 1-3% in the age range of 23-40. How many men are good looking and in shape? 10% might be a stretch also

see, you're still talking as if you'll never win. still picking apart statistics to prove that you have no chance. go get help for your disorder

 

[zekko]

see, you're still talking as if you'll never win. still picking apart statistics to prove that you have no chance. go get help for your disorder

Dave's trying to say he's in the top 0.02% of all men
Probably masking his insecurity with full blown narcissism.

 

[lamath]

Those % and numbers means nothing.

A women you find into top 3% will not be 3% for others.

A women you see as 9 might see herself as a 7 and vice-versa

Imo top 2 quality in getting women and having a high smv is social game and look. And social game is by far the most important. Money is 3rd.

 

[Spaz]

Doesn't matter zekko.

What matters is that he is finally taking some action irl other then just posting his thoughts.

 

[sazc]

Dave's trying to say he's in the top 0.02% of all men
Probably masking his insecurity with full blown narcissism.

yea but it's all pat of his cycle of up and down.

"I'm amazing, let me prove it to you with X, Y and Z" (up)
"but I cant get a chick for reasons X, Y and Z: (then down)

It rings of mania. at the very least, an anxiety disorder - which I wouldn't doubt given his description of his childhood (being overweight, not feeling good enough, etc) Not to mention, we live in the age of social media induced anxiety. Everyone fronts as if they have it great and we believe them and try to emulate. When we fall short we start to beat ourselves up.

Dave has a lot of things working against him mentally (normal sh1t ppl tend to deal with) and he's stuck in this mental merry-go-round mania. I can see he wants to get off but I think the merry-go-round has become his safe place. He knows what to expect if he stay son. If he gets off he will get uncomfortable and no one likes to live in uncomfortability.