I'm burned out from women. No choice except to focus 100% on myself. (Growth Journal, Log 6 of ∞)

[mellow_yellow]

It's been such a chore trying to game women for the past 10 years. I've been red pill since college, but I've struggled so much in getting numbers, 1st dates, and 2nd dates only to lead nowhere 90% of the time. I had to fight every single hurdle in the process. I would get a number to set up the 1st date, only to get flaked on. If I get the 1st date, her interest is lukewarm or I don't escalate fast enough so I get ghosted. I've kept tripping over one hurdle after another. After screwing up with an awesome girl earlier this year by not escalating aggressively enough, I've finally burned out. I'm literally exhausted. I've lost all interest in asking for numbers, dates, or chatting with women. I've spent all these years building up my social skills, dressing better, and practicing game and it's still NOT enough to reverse my programming.

I also don't think this hyper competitive dating marketplace in 2018 helps. Nowadays, you get ghosted for making small mistakes in your approaches and on dates. It was already hard enough years ago and today, it's on hell mode.

I kept blaming myself for everything and the weight of this finally wore down my mind. I've exploded at least 3x this year while talking with friends because I can't process why I'm unable to improve any further. My mind couldn't make sense of all this so I basically had some minor meltdowns where I would rant in anger and frustration. Thankfully, I've calmed down since the last implosion.

Despite all this, this doesn't mean I'm throwing in the towel. I'm not giving up and going true MGTOW so I can hide in a cave and hate women. I think I'm just way overdue for rest and need a hard reset.

I'm 28 and will go onto 29 in the next few months. I felt like I lost most of my 20s because I couldn't get the same experiences as other normal guys -- fooling around and having fun with women. To be fair, all is not lost. I did live in the city, travel, go to festivals, and have some good experiences so it wasn't terrible. It just bothers the sh*t out of me that I couldn't get my dating life in order in my early and mid-20s.

Looking back, I should've started working on my LMS/SMV right after college and not a few months ago. We'll see where I end up next year. I would appreciate any advice from the older guys on how they dealt with extreme frustration and how to continuously improve.


<<<This is where I'm at right now. I'm focused on implementing small changes, 1 goal at a time>>>


Strength Training
I started lifting weights following a proper program on April 3rd. I started with Stronglifts and now I'm on the Madcow 5x5 intermediate program. I'm going to keep going forever into advanced programs and until I max out my genetic potential.

Compared to 7 months ago, my mood has improved drastically, I have better posture, and I speak my mind without thinking twice. I think the boost in testosterone has had a calming effect on my mind. It's giving me this invisible urge to take action that I haven't had before. Last year, I tested 489 ng/dL total testosterone and 91 pg/mL free testosterone. I'll do blood work again before the end of the year to see where my testosterone levels are at now.

• SQUAT — 45 to 255 lb
• OVERHEAD PRESS — 45 to 118 lb
• DEADLIFT — 65 to 290 lb
• BENCH PRESS — 45 to 184 lb
• PENDLAY ROW — 65 to 155 lb

Skin Care

• Using Aztec Secrets clay mask 3x per week with part apple cider vinegar and part water

Health

• Deleted all social media apps from my phone and only log in 1x per month on computer for several minutes
• Cut out all forms of mainstream media. Stopped reading and watching "how f*cked the dating marketplace" is on Reddit Red Pill and Youtube.
• I meditate several times daily
• I'm disciplining myself to build up my attention span and work ethic while working at family business for time being
• No jerking off except every 3-5 days. No porn.
• Working on trying to sleep before midnight and wake up earlier. I realize I need to stabilize my sleep pattern especially since I need every minute of sleep now to recover from my Madcow 5x5 workouts.

Personal Goals
I'm not consistent on working on these yet. I just have to lock down a few days and make myself work on them like how I've gone to the gym 3x per week no matter what.

• launch my own business whatever that is —OR— start applying for corporate jobs to rebuild my career
• cook great meals at home
• practice the piano, memorize more sheet music, and eventually learn how to improvise. I've memorized 2 pieces so far.
• create my own blog and write articles several times per week
• learn a language

 

[curtsilv]

Skimming through, it seems like one common mistake is not escalating quickly enough. FORCE yourself to escalate, for example, by going for the kiss when you feel it. If you have locked eyes, go for the kiss. Even if she turns away, try it again a bit later if you lock eyes again.

Here's a kino escalation in conversation.

1. always shake hands with a new girl. Do not let go until she does. Hold BOTH hands if she seems highly interested. Smile!

2. hi five for fun. If she clasps and holds hands, she is interested.

3. go for a hug on a high point. Let's say you like the same band or same movie, or went to the same school. Keep hugging until she taps.

4. if the two of you lock eyes for an extended period of time, go for a kiss on the lips.

You have to keep this in mind for EVERY conversation when you are interested. It's not appropriate for work or even work party situations. It is appropriate for non work situations. DAS for 'kino escalation.' Memorize it and use it whenever appropriate (an interested woman will always extend physical contact and eye contact when interested). Start with that.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Go for low hanging fruit but don´t settle for it, hit it and quit it, pump & dump, and work you way up. As you keep improving yourself, so should the quality of the plates you pull in your rotation.

 

[ohrein]

You sound like me. I took a couple of years off looking for women. Was still open to them and so I did end up seeing a few, but I kept it very casual and focused on myself. If you're worrying about mistakes and getting ghosted then your mindset is still off. When I did get back into Tinder, it was a pretty average experience. I went on a lot of first dates and had a lot of matches that went nowhere. But, I didn't care. I wasn't playing the game by their rules and so I was content looking for what I wanted, not trying to get notches. I was 31 by this point and over hook ups and was looking for the highest quality woman I could find that I got along with and I did find her on Tinder. I was screening and qualifying women, not the other way around. I had way more interest taking that mindset than I ever did trying to sarge them. I think that is when I'd truly internalized the prize and abundance mentality. The best part of that is not that you attract women, but that you're content with your own life and don't really care if you attract women.

Looking back, I should've started working on my LMS/SMV right after college and not a few months ago. We'll see where I end up next year. I would appreciate any advice from the older guys on how they dealt with extreme frustration and how to continuously improve.

It's never too late. I started my life super late and I'm behind a lot of my younger friends from school. I got my degree at 28 and joined a startup that is only now paying dividends two years later. I only started taking gym seriously at 30 but I'm still smashing that. Gonna have to buy some new clothes in the next few months which means a potential style update. Don't look back. Live now and keep an eye on forward.

But it sounds like you're where I was at when 28. I still had some mental health issues I was working on and just starting my journey into self improvement. I had been red pill for 7 years and it had improved my situation with women but something was still lacking. I think that thing was contentment with my own life. So I focused on that for two years. Really figuring out what I wanted and what would make me happy. After that, women become like ice cream. They're a treat but they're not necessarily a diet requirement. This mentality made dating much easier because I simply didn't care. Maybe you can get to that point too over the next couple of years. Don't give up on women, but switch focus to you.

 

[Serenity]

You seem to be generally burnt out, you need to calm down and take a good break from all of it. One of the traps of self improvement is subconsciously thinking you're not good enough, the logic behind it being that you improve to become good enough. So it could lead to ridiculous lists like you just posted with way too much stuff to think about, that's the sh!t that burns you out. You'll never get any degree of lasting satisfaction if you keep it up and that stress will most likely work against you when going to meet women.

You don't have to quit, but you need to learn to switch off from time to time. Things go a lot better when you have "charged your batteries". Meditation is supposed to help with this, but it seems you've made a chore out of that too.

 

[mellow_yellow]

You sound like me. I took a couple of years off looking for women. Was still open to them and so I did end up seeing a few, but I kept it very casual and focused on myself. If you're worrying about mistakes and getting ghosted then your mindset is still off. When I did get back into Tinder, it was a pretty average experience. I went on a lot of first dates and had a lot of matches that went nowhere. But, I didn't care. I wasn't playing the game by their rules and so I was content looking for what I wanted, not trying to get notches. I was 31 by this point and over hook ups and was looking for the highest quality woman I could find that I got along with and I did find her on Tinder. I was screening and qualifying women, not the other way around. I had way more interest taking that mindset than I ever did trying to sarge them. I think that is when I'd truly internalized the prize and abundance mentality. The best part of that is not that you attract women, but that you're content with your own life and don't really care if you attract women.



It's never too late. I started my life super late and I'm behind a lot of my younger friends from school. I got my degree at 28 and joined a startup that is only now paying dividends two years later. I only started taking gym seriously at 30 but I'm still smashing that. Gonna have to buy some new clothes in the next few months which means a potential style update. Don't look back. Live now and keep an eye on forward.

But it sounds like you're where I was at when 28. I still had some mental health issues I was working on and just starting my journey into self improvement. I had been red pill for 7 years and it had improved my situation with women but something was still lacking. I think that thing was contentment with my own life. So I focused on that for two years. Really figuring out what I wanted and what would make me happy. After that, women become like ice cream. They're a treat but they're not necessarily a diet requirement. This mentality made dating much easier because I simply didn't care. Maybe you can get to that point too over the next couple of years. Don't give up on women, but switch focus to you.

@ohrein thanks for your story and I appreciate your replies to past threads of mine. I agree with everything you said. I needed to get reassurance from someone else who's been through banging his head against the wall. It's incredibly frustrating when you know that you plateaued, but can't figure out what you're doing wrong because there's so many factors involved. I've noticed that my mindset has been improving as I keep improving. Compared to a few months ago, I'm way better, but the journey is not over. Life is never over so we have to keep going and improving each day.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

It's been such a chore trying to game women for the past 10 years. I've been red pill since college, but I've struggled so much in getting numbers, 1st dates, and 2nd dates only to lead nowhere 90% of the time. I had to fight every single hurdle in the process. I would get a number to set up the 1st date, only to get flaked on. If I get the 1st date, her interest is lukewarm or I don't escalate fast enough so I get ghosted. I've kept tripping over one hurdle after another. After screwing up with an awesome girl earlier this year by not escalating aggressively enough, I've finally burned out. I'm literally exhausted. I've lost all interest in asking for numbers, dates, or chatting with women. I've spent all these years building up my social skills, dressing better, and practicing game and it's still NOT enough to reverse my programming.

I also don't think this hyper competitive dating marketplace in 2018 helps. Nowadays, you get ghosted for making small mistakes in your approaches and on dates. It was already hard enough years ago and today, it's on hell mode.

I kept blaming myself for everything and the weight of this finally wore down my mind. I've exploded at least 3x this year while talking with friends because I can't process why I'm unable to improve any further. My mind couldn't make sense of all this so I basically had some minor meltdowns where I would rant in anger and frustration. Thankfully, I've calmed down since the last implosion.

Despite all this, this doesn't mean I'm throwing in the towel. I'm not giving up and going true MGTOW so I can hide in a cave and hate women. I think I'm just way overdue for rest and need a hard reset.

I'm 28 and will go onto 29 in the next few months. I felt like I lost most of my 20s because I couldn't get the same experiences as other normal guys -- fooling around and having fun with women. To be fair, all is not lost. I did live in the city, travel, go to festivals, and have some good experiences so it wasn't terrible. It just bothers the sh*t out of me that I couldn't get my dating life in order in my early and mid-20s.

Looking back, I should've started working on my LMS/SMV right after college and not a few months ago. We'll see where I end up next year. I would appreciate any advice from the older guys on how they dealt with extreme frustration and how to continuously improve.


<<<This is where I'm at right now. I'm focused on implementing small changes, 1 goal at a time>>>


Strength Training
I started lifting weights following a proper program on April 3rd. I started with Stronglifts and now I'm on the Madcow 5x5 intermediate program. I'm going to keep going forever into advanced programs and until I max out my genetic potential.

Compared to 7 months ago, my mood has improved drastically, I have better posture, and I speak my mind without thinking twice. I think the boost in testosterone has had a calming effect on my mind. It's giving me this invisible urge to take action that I haven't had before. Last year, I tested 489 ng/dL total testosterone and 91 pg/mL free testosterone. I'll do blood work again before the end of the year to see where my testosterone levels are at now.

• SQUAT — 45 to 255 lb
• OVERHEAD PRESS — 45 to 118 lb
• DEADLIFT — 65 to 290 lb
• BENCH PRESS — 45 to 184 lb
• PENDLAY ROW — 65 to 155 lb

Skin Care

• Using Aztec Secrets clay mask 3x per week with part apple cider vinegar and part water

Health

• Deleted all social media apps from my phone and only log in 1x per month on computer for several minutes
• Cut out all forms of mainstream media. Stopped reading and watching "how f*cked the dating marketplace" is on Reddit Red Pill and Youtube.
• I meditate several times daily
• I'm disciplining myself to build up my attention span and work ethic while working at family business for time being
• No jerking off except every 3-5 days. No porn.
• Working on trying to sleep before midnight and wake up earlier. I realize I need to stabilize my sleep pattern especially since I need every minute of sleep now to recover from my Madcow 5x5 workouts.

Personal Goals
I'm not consistent on working on these yet. I just have to lock down a few days and make myself work on them like how I've gone to the gym 3x per week no matter what.

• launch my own business whatever that is —OR— start applying for corporate jobs to rebuild my career
• cook great meals at home
• practice the piano, memorize more sheet music, and eventually learn how to improvise. I've memorized 2 pieces so far.
• create my own blog and write articles several times per week
• learn a language

Not doing it right.

Hit on baeees and go balls deep. Acquire digits as fallback but assume that you will not see her ever again.. You hit on her, acquire digits, and take you D out because you are "that guy."

As for dates, no guy who pulls babes on the regular is dating as in courting and putting out provider cuck male. Casual hang. A couple times in, smash rotten or next her. Stop giving a ****kkk about these *****s. A lot of *** dumpsters and walking aborted fetuses. Women contrary to society are savage as ****kkk. Women cuck their hubby and bfs. They will let a guy raise some other man's child. You cannot reason with vagina.

More importantly, you're suppose to focus on your life as the bullseye and staple of game. Women are not the be end all. There's a reason why meditation, yoga, and exercise are ideal practices. You can reboot through said means. I trip. Psychedelics are a means of exploring consciousness.

Have a variety of different options in your life. Forget women. As in, have a life and self-concept that isn't based upon your value as a man based upon your dating life or ability to provide for. Go get baeeeees but it is just because you can and will rather than you deem a sense of self from said outcome.

You suffer like how most men due to your ideal. Imagine that fella who gets divorced, cuucked, and finds that his "not in the mood wife" was running wild when on top form SMV? When the bubble bursts, a lot of guys end it. They can't go back.

Step up. Just refrain from identifying with the outcome. Women come and go. It's the name of the game.