Contradictions in Game Material?

[nicksaiz65]

I like reading a lot of different books on seduction because I was never really given a solid understanding of this when I was younger. But a lot of the time, the material will contradict itself.

Like one source will tell me to always kiss a girl on the first date, and another will say not to do it and make her wait.

What do you all do about this? Just choose the style that suits your personality best?

 

[zekko]

You're pretty much right. Find what works for you.
A lot of times the same PUA guru will have contradictory advice.
Sometimes what works in one situation doesn't work in another. With experience comes the instinct to know what tactics to use when, and with who. It's called leaning calibration.

 

[Serenity]

What do you all do about this?

I solve paradoxes through the dimension of time. What I mean is that two or more contradictory statements (advice) may be valid, but not at the same time. The determining factor for which one is true is the context of a given situation, which PUA's do a pretty bad job at explaining. They just say do X and do Y, but provide far too little detail on why and when X or Y is more appropriate than the other options.

Just choose the style that suits your personality best?

You could, but there's no need to limit yourself. Experience and practice should fill the gaps of the theory. Through that you'll learn to see which piece of advice in the theory has the best odds of working in a given situation. This holds true for any theoretical knowledge, you won't master a skill through books alone, you must practice and learn from experience. Theoretical knowledge will only give you options for how to solve individual cases and help avoid the worst mistakes.

Think of PUA advice as tools, I'll illustrate my point in a physical way. Your challenge is to attach 2 planks together, which tool do you use? You might think "duh, hammer and nail", but this isn't the only right answer and may not even be the best way. Which way is the best depends on the context, how these attached planks will be used. You could maybe use glue or screws with a screwdriver, even rope to bind them together. It's the same with PUA advice, it's just tools. Several of them may work, some only in specific contexts and some better than others. If you through practice attach the 2 planks for various uses with various tools, you'll learn which tool to use and when to use it. Same goes for PUA advice, through practice you'll learn when a piece of advice is the best option for the current situation to reach your desired goal.

It seems many guys get into PUA theory with the expectation that there is only one specific way that is the best way. That expectation is false, there are multiple valid choices, some in contradiction to others. The skill is to figure out which choice is better than the others judging from a present situation. This is why presence is key to success, because if you aren't fully aware of the current situation you can't make good judgements about it.

You don't have to make a permanent choice of style, it will just limit your options and your success. Nothing says you can't make different choices in different situations. Adaption is a huge advantage both in game and life in general.

 

[Chi Town]

Just choose the style that suits your personality best?

And we have a winner

 

[ubercat]

@Chi Town it's a bit more nuanced than that. My superpower is comfort. After I've ruined their pussies I ve had so many girls say I feel like I've known you for much longer. But sometimes I don't feel like that. If I'm feeling obnoxious I'll be a bit of a jerk and that often gets me laid as well.

I've used to lot of the PUA material when I was in my 30s. So the guys have answered your question but not really shown you how to calibrate Few thoughts:

Get good at putting feelers out. So if your read on this this chick is that she's conservative and needs more comfort. Then try her with a half hug and small touches before you go for the kiss.

If you think she is Adventure Girl the tell a story where your pushing back against authority or be a bit of a **** physically. Bump into her gently or start playing with her hair. If she bites... Sometimes literally. Then grab her head and gently pull her into the kiss. Substitute your own favourite dominant move. One I used to love was on my way back to my place there was the school had a wire fence. You could look into their eyes like you were overcome by passion. And then push them up against the fence and go for the kiss. The wire gave way a bit so it completely cushioned them and it made this great violent tingling sound that was a little scary. Perfect.

Use online dating. Now a days you shouldn't take it seriously you're unlikely to find your wife there. But it's a great lab to experiment in.

I put up a bunch of different profiles that emphasized facets of my personality. So I had a sporty guy profile for the gym rats.

Had a type A Mr success bit of an arseholl profile for the corporate b1tches and so on...

And to be honest most woman limit themselves unnecessarily they've convince themselves they have this type in their heads.

Look at bit wider into the business world.

Richard weissman has a good book called 59 seconds. Patrick King has one called the science of likability. The good thing about these books as they are science-based they're not just s*** some guy made up.

Understand everything in life is a percentage play. And normally follows the 80/20 rule. So one I remember from 59 seconds is they had guys ask some girl on the street for a date and sometimes they touched her arm. As we would expect here the touchers got more dates. Shows boldness spikes their feels etc

But it only improved their results a little bi. So if you go up to 20 girls maybe you get four dates instead of two. You still have to go up to 20 girls and let the percentage edge work for you.

Which leads to the last and probably most important Point. Chicks are incredibly random. It's a numbers game. Your goal shouldn't be to meet an amazing girl it should be to go out have fun meet lots of girls and bone a few along the way.

If you follow this advice you will inevitably turn into a man of the world at which point you won't need any tips.

 

[Tilex]

Most often than not, you'll feel a positive or negative energy initially in your gut when you meet new people after you've gained some experience.
It feels like a sharp spike or jolt. I can't fully explain it.
The reason why you see contradictory information is because it's based on experiences from guru's living in different geographic locations. For example: Gaming women in Europe is a lot different than gaming women in America.
Just absorb the information that makes the most sense to you.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

One way to GUARANTEE that you'll NEVER be successful is to make sure you have an EXACT bullet proof strategy before even leaving our house.

Consider ALL WRITTEN material (including this very sentence) to be only a RECOMMENDATION that can not teach you nearly as much as your own experience.

Don't let "learning" about game through reading be a substitute for LEARNING GAME through behavior and experience.

 

[ubercat]

Great point @Tilex. Which leads me to my last book pic. Some parts of the nature of women are universal doesn't matter what country. By the book practical female psychology for the practical man that will cover off the base operating manual.

 

[ubercat]

@taiyuu_otoko is correct as well. With all these book pics I gave you best not to become obsessed with theory.

I'd say the Rule of Thirds. Of the whole time you reserved chicks and don't make this too much. 1/3 on prospecting new chicks for your pipeline. 1/3 going on dates. 1/3 studying / practice

 

[marmel75]

People all have differing opinions because they all have had different experiences when trying different things. What works great for one person won't work at all for another. Why? Who knows? Many different things at play possibly.

Bottom line experiment with what works in date and don't be afraid to keep experimenting even if it means losing the opportunity of anything happening with that women. Otherwise you will likely keep doing the same things over and over.

 

[Ranger]

I always have better luck when kissing as soon as possible. But I’ve never really thought about it.
If it’s on...let the kissing begin.

 

[Chi Town]

@Chi Town it's a bit more nuanced than that. My superpower is comfort. After I've ruined their pussies I ve had so many girls say I feel like I've known you for much longer. But sometimes I don't feel like that. If I'm feeling obnoxious I'll be a bit of a jerk and that often gets me laid as well.

That's what works for you so that's good. All you can do is be yourself anyway. For some, comfort is not there bread and butter but what might work for them is being aggressive and not giving a sh!t.

It's all about what works for you.

 

[nismo-4]

It all boils down to the woman's interest level in you, what she's looking for at the time i.e. boyfriend, husband, orbiters, etc., the phase of her life she's in, her current options, and how she perceives you.

Many factors you can't control.

 

[curtsilv]

I like reading a lot of different books on seduction because I was never really given a solid understanding of this when I was younger. But a lot of the time, the material will contradict itself.

Like one source will tell me to always kiss a girl on the first date, and another will say not to do it and make her wait.

What do you all do about this? Just choose the style that suits your personality best?

Take a look at my thread on "credibility." Look at the odds of those guys using online dating. What is the commonality there? The only commonality is that even good looking guys have to take massive action to get even decent results.

A good looking guy taking little action will not get any results. An average or mediocre looking guy taking little action won't get any results.

You need to take action. You need to take a lot of it in order to do well. And just as importantly, learn from your experiences.

Key Questions: how many women have you approached in the past week, month or year? How many of those approaches led to numbers? How many of those numbers led to dates? How many of these dates led to lays?

How many women did you message in online dating? How many messaged back? How many did you go on dates with?

You're going to have to take action IRL and/or online approaching and messaging women.

Also, you need to look your best. Good looking guys do better than average or ugly guys. Do you go to the gym? Are you happy with your physique? Do you have a strong sense of style. Dating has become more competitive. You need an edge. Do you have that edge? Or are you on the opposite side and disadvantaged?

 

[ohrein]

There are no paradoxes because none of this is binary. I think most timeline rules are for beginners to force them into action. Once you've mastered the basics, you just do things at your leisure. Once you've experienced abundance you stop caring completely about the rules. I broke most of them when I was first dating my girlfriend. What's important is to be masculine and set the frame, not when you do it. Screen for a decent woman with high interest, be suave and lead her. The rest doesn't matter.

The problem with following specific advice like being aggressive is you attract those women who are into aggressive guys. That might not be what you're after. You need to be the most masculine but authentic version of yourself and figure out what kind of women you want and what attracts them. If you're going to be spending time with a woman you want to be sure you're going to enjoy it.

 

[curtsilv]

You only need a few heuristic principles. You don't need a "science" of seduction.

1. be as good looking and as cool as you can be.

2. approach women and identify the women who are attracted to you. This includes some simple banter, a genuine compliment or two, identifying common interests, getting contact info, and most importantly:

3. screening for compliance: is she willing to make strong eye contact, hold hands, hug, kiss, leave with you to go to another location, and most importantly to leave with you to go to a sex location.

You won't bat 100%. No one does. But by approaching and screening more women for compliance, you are more likely to be successful and at the very least will keep you out of the friendzone (assuming you don't want female friends). When the situation is appropriate: bars, clubs, parties with a hookup/dating emphasis, approach and screen her for physical and sexual compliance.