article: Is there a shortage of marriageable men?

[MatureDJ]

https://www.brookings.edu/blog/soci...9/22/is-there-a-shortage-of-marriageable-men/

 

[sangheilios]

LOL There is a shortage of marriageable people in general, both men and women.

The majority of adult Americans are overweight or obese, a statistic that is growing as each year passes. A significant portion of adults have issues with alcohol and/or drugs, which also appears to be a growing stat as well.

The reality is that women are going to have any over inflated sense of their value due to the sheer amount of validation they get from desperate men and because of this have issues with entitlement. If you are fat you aren't entitled to a guy that has a nice gym bod.



Honestly, if a guy is fit, at least average height and somewhat attractive he is already in the top 10% right there, so naturally he'd gravitate towards a woman like that. It's hard for people like this to find each other past a certain age, and that isn't even taking into consideration personal compatibility.

Seriously, good luck finding a woman that is of a normal weight, has no kids, no tatoos, sober and is actually single lol. Crazy how such basic things are a virtual rarity in this day and age, sickening to be honest.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

A lot of men are gay. I'm noticing this downlow trend picking up. Funny thing is that most of these men have girlfriends wives and children. There is a Facebook page about downlow Chicago men getting caught with trannies and there is so many it's highly disturbing . You see this in the media and even rap now. Transgender people are growing rapidly...... this world is heading to the crapper. I don't care about openly gay people, downlow dudes always creeped me the hell out.

There should be no problem getting women in America it's a freakshow

 

[sangheilios]

A lot of men are gay. I'm noticing this downlow trend picking up. Funny thing is that most of these men have girlfriends wives and children. There is a Facebook page about downlow Chicago men getting caught with trannies and there is so many it's highly disturbing . You see this in the media and even rap now. Transgender people are growing rapidly...... this world is heading to the crapper. I don't care about openly gay people, downlow dudes always creeped me the hell out.

There should be no problem getting women in America it's a freakshow

It can be hard for a guy to land a respectable and attractive girl. So many women today are single mothers with one or more bastard kid(s), often from multiple fathers. Then so many are fat, covered in tattoos and just plain unattractive.

 

[wifehunter]

Now is not the time. There's too much sh1t going on. At this point, having a family is relegated to fantasy.

 

[resilient]

I’ve dated a few fatties briefly over my years dating. They’re not fun and not active at all. If you’re a fit guy, athletic and in shape... you’ll want to have someone to do adventurous activities with you. I do a ton of outdoor hobbies. There is usually hiking involved in the places I see and visit. A fat woman is not going to want to go backpacking... let along hit the trail.

As far as sexually... you are limited to a few positions... and you can’t just lift and maneuver them into another position at ease. The hilarious thing as a man... they expect you to... lmao.

It astonished me that they feel entitled to date me on OLD apps when I’m hitting the gym hard nearly everyday for 1-2 hours, eat well, and dress well with good hygiene. Meanwhile the 6-10s seem to avoid matching or conversing much or go ghost after a few messages in. That’s why going into 2019 I’m going to rely more on expanding my social circles and cold approaching. Perhaps it’s game and not pics that need work, hah!

I rather stay single and plate-less than waste time on fatties that won’t be interested or fit for my active lifestyle. I can deal with tats and piercings to an extent...

I also won’t waste time with single mothers when I never had kids or have to listen to excuse why they flake or couldn’t find a babysitter nearly a week in advance before the date.. too much hassle.

And for age, well I’ve found in general the older they are (30+), the more “run through” they’ve been with dudes. Too many hook ups, less and less chance to pair bond in a healthy LTR. Alpha widowed, divorces, quick to next... have a laundry list of requirements I most fulfill. I don’t have time for that. I rather stay focused on my mission and purpose in life.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I’ve dated a few fatties briefly over my years dating. They’re not fun and not active at all. If you’re a fit guy, athletic and in shape... you’ll want to have someone to do adventurous activities with you. I do a ton of outdoor hobbies. There is usually hiking involved in the places I see and visit. A fat woman is not going to want to go backpacking... let along hit the trail.

As far as sexually... you are limited to a few positions... and you can’t just lift and maneuver them into another position at ease. The hilarious thing as a man... they expect you to... lmao.

It astonished me that they feel entitled to date me on OLD apps when I’m hitting the gym hard nearly everyday for 1-2 hours, eat well, and dress well with good hygiene. Meanwhile the 6-10s seem to avoid matching or conversing much or go ghost after a few messages in. That’s why going into 2019 I’m going to rely more on expanding my social circles and cold approaching. Perhaps it’s game and not pics that need work, hah!

I rather stay single and plate-less than waste time on fatties that won’t be interested or fit for my active lifestyle. I can deal with tats and piercings to an extent...

I also won’t waste time with single mothers when I never had kids or have to listen to excuse why they flake or couldn’t find a babysitter nearly a week in advance before the date.. too much hassle.

And for age, well I’ve found in general the older they are (30+), the more “run through” they’ve been with dudes. Too many hook ups, less and less chance to pair bond in a healthy LTR. Alpha widowed, divorces, quick to next... have a laundry list of requirements I most fulfill. I don’t have time for that. I rather stay focused on my mission and purpose in life.

So as they Get more and more "ran thru" the pair bonding interface gets brittle and worn and eventually it simply cannot maintain a connection.

 

[resilient]

So as they Get more and more "ran thru" the pair bonding interface gets brittle and worn and eventually it simply cannot maintain a connection.

That’s been my experience. They get addicted to the chase and newness of the relationship. As soon as the honeymoon stage starts to fade and a real potential relationship begins, they bounce, and jump ship to an orbiter.

That happens sooner if they sense me catching feels. Looking from the outside, I know I’m a work in progress and getting my sh!t together. Some guys may have already reached that success before me at my age, so if the guy is on her radar, she’ll jump at the opportunity to give him a chance. Women are always, always looking to upgrade LTR or not. Connections are harder and harder to maintain these days when flooded with options.

Remove OLD, remove social media and watch how their behavior would change. Unfortunately neither are dissappearing, so we have to accept that it’s here to stay and figure out how to adapt to the market.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That’s been my experience. They get addicted to the chase and newness of the relationship. As soon as the honeymoon stage starts to fade and a real potential relationship begins, they bounce, and jump ship to an orbiter.

That happens sooner if they sense me catching feels. Looking from the outside, I know I’m a work in progress and getting my sh!t together. Some guys may have already reached that success before me at my age, so if the guy is on her radar, she’ll jump at the opportunity to give him a chance. Women are always, always looking to upgrade LTR or not. Connections are harder and harder to maintain these days when flooded with options.

Remove OLD, remove social media and watch how their behavior would change. Unfortunately neither are dissappearing, so we have to accept that it’s here to stay and figure out how to adapt to the market.

So pump and dump is the only way to maintain your sanity and your value..

 

[logicallefty]

Now is not the time. There's too much sh1t going on. At this point, having a family is relegated to fantasy.

^This. It's like a recession in the financial markets. We are in the Great Depression of the 1930s in terms of the dating markets.

A lot of men are gay. I'm noticing this downlow trend picking up.

I am grateful too all gay men. For every two men that hook up that leaves two potential free women for me to hit if I want. A mathematical win. I wish more men were gay.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

^This. It's like a recession in the financial markets. We are in the Great Depression of the 1930s in terms of the dating markets.



I am grateful too all gay men. For every two men that hook up that leaves too potential free women for me to hit if I want. A mathematical win. I wish more men were gay.

I found out some men went gay So they dont have to deal with women for love or companionship. Seems extreme.

 

[sangheilios]

I’ve dated a few fatties briefly over my years dating. They’re not fun and not active at all. If you’re a fit guy, athletic and in shape... you’ll want to have someone to do adventurous activities with you. I do a ton of outdoor hobbies. There is usually hiking involved in the places I see and visit. A fat woman is not going to want to go backpacking... let along hit the trail.

As far as sexually... you are limited to a few positions... and you can’t just lift and maneuver them into another position at ease. The hilarious thing as a man... they expect you to... lmao.

It astonished me that they feel entitled to date me on OLD apps when I’m hitting the gym hard nearly everyday for 1-2 hours, eat well, and dress well with good hygiene. Meanwhile the 6-10s seem to avoid matching or conversing much or go ghost after a few messages in. That’s why going into 2019 I’m going to rely more on expanding my social circles and cold approaching. Perhaps it’s game and not pics that need work, hah!

I rather stay single and plate-less than waste time on fatties that won’t be interested or fit for my active lifestyle. I can deal with tats and piercings to an extent...

I also won’t waste time with single mothers when I never had kids or have to listen to excuse why they flake or couldn’t find a babysitter nearly a week in advance before the date.. too much hassle.

And for age, well I’ve found in general the older they are (30+), the more “run through” they’ve been with dudes. Too many hook ups, less and less chance to pair bond in a healthy LTR. Alpha widowed, divorces, quick to next... have a laundry list of requirements I most fulfill. I don’t have time for that. I rather stay focused on my mission and purpose in life.

LOL This resonates so much with me. I've been fit and active my entire adult life, right now I do a full body lifting routine 3 days per week and following a Navy SEAL swim training routine, this means going for VERY long swims. I also enjoy hiking and other active type pass times, so naturally I'll want to go for a woman who enjoys these sames things. That's why I try approaching women at my gym, problem is very few of them are actually single.

As for the children, I'm single and childless so naturally I want to avoid that.

Online dating is a waste of time due to the fact that she will be talking to dozens of guys, it's a woman's market. That's why I feel like it's just far better to cold approach and meet women in the real world, this separates you greatly from all the other men out there.

Seriously though, I find it extremely depressing and shocking that fit, attractive and respectable guys have a difficult time finding women that are relatively on par with them.

 

[synergy1]

I have been on and off match.com for a few years. I usually sign up for a month once a year, and thats about it. I pay attention to trends the best I can in the age that women look for. This year, I saw that women's age range has narrowed significantly - I saw 30 year olds who only wanted to date men as old as 25. 40-50 year olds only looking for 30 year old men. I obviously didn't collect data and can't prove this beyond anecdotal evidence, but it seems to me that women around here are becoming very picky about who they date. The ironic thing is that they literally offer nothing - most of them are not in great shape, don't have great jobs and have awful personalities.

Most quality women are dating/married in their 20s. But as others said, it seems social media is validating women on a daily basis and they are getting their egos puffed as a result. Women can't even be bothered with messages anymore, which is why apps like bumble have risen in popularity.

I am pretty fit, tall, still have my hair, decent job, and am pretty down to earth. Dating is tough for me. I feel really bad for men without innate advantages, and respect those who can make it work. However talking to other men in my area, my experience is not unqiue. Many people i know have not been on a date in years, and probably haven;t been with many/any women in the past 5-10 years.

I don't think there is a shortage of good guys out there. I think there is an elevated sense of entitlement from single women to some degree.

 

[sangheilios]

I have been on and off match.com for a few years. I usually sign up for a month once a year, and thats about it. I pay attention to trends the best I can in the age that women look for. This year, I saw that women's age range has narrowed significantly - I saw 30 year olds who only wanted to date men as old as 25. 40-50 year olds only looking for 30 year old men. I obviously didn't collect data and can't prove this beyond anecdotal evidence, but it seems to me that women around here are becoming very picky about who they date. The ironic thing is that they literally offer nothing - most of them are not in great shape, don't have great jobs and have awful personalities.

Most quality women are dating/married in their 20s. But as others said, it seems social media is validating women on a daily basis and they are getting their egos puffed as a result. Women can't even be bothered with messages anymore, which is why apps like bumble have risen in popularity.

I am pretty fit, tall, still have my hair, decent job, and am pretty down to earth. Dating is tough for me. I feel really bad for men without innate advantages, and respect those who can make it work. However talking to other men in my area, my experience is not unqiue. Many people i know have not been on a date in years, and probably haven;t been with many/any women in the past 5-10 years.

I don't think there is a shortage of good guys out there. I think there is an elevated sense of entitlement from single women to some degree.

I think this issue is far more widespread than many believe, hell even I thought it was just me.

I'm 6'4", have a great body and fit and regularly have people tell me I'm a very attractive guy and I haven't been on a date since June of this year, which was the first time I had gone with a woman since June of the year prior. I'm educated, sober, have friends and an all around good guy.

I'm not gonna upload a pic of my face, but that's me at 6'4" lol.

 

[synergy1]

glad to know to some degree it isn't just me. I think there is a general narrative that men are bad. One of my friends girlfriends does nothing but lement at how good guys have it. She ignores work eithic, sacrifice, and all of that and just assumes men = success. To that point, I had a career change where I had to teach myself everything and got my salary cut in half. I worked for years on my own time for 0 dollars to make it happen. She on the other hand expects to show up and get the same level of respect, and harbors anger towards men. This is a specific story with a general observation; entitlement.

As for you, 6'4 you should be doing just fine. I am close to 6' and am continually asked what my height is. Women are brutal about that sort of thing, and they tell me as such. I would suspect you are not in the right area geographically. I know I am not.

Keep fighting the good fight I am sure you'll find an attractive women to date in time. best of luck

 

[The Duke]

That’s been my experience. They get addicted to the chase and newness of the relationship. As soon as the honeymoon stage starts to fade and a real potential relationship begins, they bounce, and jump ship to an orbiter.

Some solid stuff!

I always call their addiction to new relationships the "NEW CAHK" smell! With every cahk they take, the more baggage they take on, the more damage it does to their soul. At some point they enact fight or flight tactics to counter the fear of getting close and getting hurt again.

 

[sangheilios]

glad to know to some degree it isn't just me. I think there is a general narrative that men are bad. One of my friends girlfriends does nothing but lement at how good guys have it. She ignores work eithic, sacrifice, and all of that and just assumes men = success. To that point, I had a career change where I had to teach myself everything and got my salary cut in half. I worked for years on my own time for 0 dollars to make it happen. She on the other hand expects to show up and get the same level of respect, and harbors anger towards men. This is a specific story with a general observation; entitlement.

As for you, 6'4 you should be doing just fine. I am close to 6' and am continually asked what my height is. Women are brutal about that sort of thing, and they tell me as such. I would suspect you are not in the right area geographically. I know I am not.

Keep fighting the good fight I am sure you'll find an attractive women to date in time. best of luck

There definitely is a delusional sense of entitlement with a lot of women. This was from a very long time ago, but I remember these fairly young women, mid to late 20s, that my Mother knew and they complained about not being able to find a guy. Anyway, they were the most average looking women ever but were picky as hell. Their reasoning though was since they had a decent middle class job and were childless and sober they were entitled to a total stud. Women like this end up being alone forever.

 

[resilient]

This year, I saw that women's age range has narrowed significantly - I saw 30 year olds who only wanted to date men as old as 25. 40-50 year olds only looking for 30 year old men.

I've only dated an older woman briefly once so I can't offer too much here. My gut tells me those women are going for the younger ones because they can be "controlled" psychologically in the relationship. They probably have been pumped and dumped by some alphas/chads that left them not trusting men their age or older for a while. A lot of these women have abandonment issues, so they like to be in control for a while, yet will stray if she gets bored or tempted by another guy with game.

Older guys if they worked on themselves are more dominant, leading, IDGAF if they worked on their self-development and career hard... they won't be easily manipulated by a woman. Especially if he's got a bullpen of plates keeping warm lol.

I had an ex from last year that almost always dated younger guys. She mentioned stamina, endurance (insert eye roll), and how easy going they were (easy to control).

...but it seems to me that women around here are becoming very picky about who they date.

True, and that's due to what we know of market saturation from being bombarded on Snap, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp and OLD apps and sites.

The ironic thing is that they literally offer nothing - most of them are not in great shape, don't have great jobs and have awful personalities.

Because they know men are desperate for dates. they know they don't have to invest much in themselves if they're young, somewhat attractive, and not an overall beast in body and the face.

Women can't even be bothered with messages anymore, which is why apps like bumble have risen in popularity.

From my experience with Bumble the last few months, my messages freeze now 1-3 messages in if I don't hook them enough from the getgo. Also, they are keeping track of their other apps and convos that they aren't uniquely present in conversation. Think of it this way, she's at a party and a good looking gentleman has her engaged in conversation. He stalls out briefly in gaming her and then another dude swoops in with a smile, charm, and gets her hooked. End set.

I am pretty fit, tall, still have my hair, decent job, and am pretty down to earth. Dating is tough for me.

I'm in the same boat to an extent. Keep working on yourself for your own happiness. As we often say around here, women are along for the journey not our soul search as a Don Juan. We're going after our mission and purpose in life. Staying pure to the hustle. Making a name for ourselves in the real world. Getting better and better at our pursuits and passions we love.

I always call their addiction to new relationships the "NEW CAHK" smell! With every cahk they take, the more baggage they take on, the more damage it does to their soul. At some point they enact fight or flight tactics to counter the fear of getting close and getting hurt again.

Yep... they get so addicted to initial attraction. It's like a powerful drug. So powerful, yet so fleeting. They love the game, they love the chase... and are quick to get bored or distracted when they're approached by someone new or an ex gets back into the picture after working on himself, mysterious, and IDGAF which challenges her to want to "win" him back over.

 

[sangheilios]

I've only dated an older woman briefly once so I can't offer too much here. My gut tells me those women are going for the younger ones because they can be "controlled" psychologically in the relationship. They probably have been pumped and dumped by some alphas/chads that left them not trusting men their age or older for a while. A lot of these women have abandonment issues, so they like to be in control for a while, yet will stray if she gets bored or tempted by another guy with game.

Older guys if they worked on themselves are more dominant, leading, IDGAF if they worked on their self-development and career hard... they won't be easily manipulated by a woman. Especially if he's got a bullpen of plates keeping warm lol.

I had an ex from last year that almost always dated younger guys. She mentioned stamina, endurance (insert eye roll), and how easy going they were (easy to control).
True, and that's due to what we know of market saturation from being bombarded on Snap, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp and OLD apps and sites.
Because they know men are desperate for dates. they know they don't have to invest much in themselves if they're young, somewhat attractive, and not an overall beast in body and the face.
From my experience with Bumble the last few months, my messages freeze how 1-3 messages in if I don't hook them enough. Also, they are keeping track of their other apps and convos that they aren't uniquely present in conversation. Think of it this way, she's at a party and a good looking gentleman has her engaged in conversation. He stalls out briefly in gaming her and then another dude swoops in with a smile, charm, and gets her hooked.
I'm in the same boat to an extent. Keep working on yourself for your own happiness. As we often say around here, women are along for the journey not our soul search as a Don Juan. We're going after our mission and purpose in life. Staying pure to the hustle. Making a name for ourselves in the real world. Getting better and better at our pursuits and passions we love.
Yep... they get so addicted to initial attraction. It's like a powerful drug. So powerful, yet so fleeting. They love the game, they love the chase... and are quick to get bored or distracted when they're approached by someone new or an ex gets back into the picture after working on himself, mysterious, and IDGAF which challenges her to want to "win" him back over.

Another great post, it's pretty common sense but very easy to over look all of this.

Always focus on bettering yourself as a man, whether that be in career, fitness, social life, hobbies, etc.

 

[wifehunter]

^This. It's like a recession in the financial markets. We are in the Great Depression of the 1930s in terms of the dating markets.

I can't be a good husband, father, or grandfather with this scam we call an economy.

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