Seems like she may be pulling away?

[MountainSlide]

Been dating girl for last month and a half. We had plans for last weekend both of which she cancelled (she had reasons and is a very busy person so I don’t hold it against her). She called me last night and we were chatting. I told her that she owes me a date because of having broken the plans we had for the weekend. Then she said that she’s been super busy and is having trouble making time for anything and is putting relationship on back burner. I told her no problem, get in touch with me when you figure out your schedule and have more time. Then she held me on the phone even though I was trying to get off. So she wants to make plans with me for the day, but it seems to me as that would be more like just hanging out with no opportunity to hook up. Also, I don’t like the idea of prioritizing her into my schedule, when she’s merely squeezing me into hers. So I let her know that I’ll look into if I’ll be free and get back to her. And finally managed to get off the phone.

I do like her quite a bit but I’m thinking this: get back to her, tell her that I’m going to be busy on the date that she’s wanting (which is the truth). And just ask if there’s another time where she’ll be available.

She is a busy girl. She has a lot going on in her life. But I don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t prioritize me at least some of the time.

Is the solution to this simply to move on to the next?

 

[Glassguy]

Then she said that she’s been super busy and is having trouble making time for anything and is putting relationship on back burner

Seems simple to me. You want a relationship with her and she doesnt want a relationship with you or at least right now.

Treat her as a plate. If she wants to get together, simply invite her over to your place so you have the opportunity to hook up. If it were me, I would spend ZERO money on a chick like this. If she wants to go on a date, tell her that you are also putting a relationship with her on the back burner but she can come over and hang out if she wants. If she does, great, if she doesnt want to be a fwb or booty call then tell her "no thanks, I am not interested in dating right now".

There you go. I would go silent from here on out if a chick said that to me.

Also, people arent THAT busy. Stop making excuses for her. If she lusted after you she would be available to at least come over and smash.

Move on, if she reaches out invite her over for a drink (no dates) and if she doesnt, oh well.

You need to start actively looking for other chicks because this one is either going to be a fvck buddy for small amount of time until she finds someone that she wants to date or she is going to disappear when she figures out you wont give her any free non sexual attention.

Best of luck.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Seems simple to me. You want a relationship with her and she doesnt want a relationship with you or at least right now.

Treat her as a plate. If she wants to get together, simply invite her over to your place so you have the opportunity to hook up. If it were me, I would spend ZERO money on a chick like this. If she wants to go on a date, tell her that you are also putting a relationship with her on the back burner but she can come over and hang out if she wants. If she does, great, if she doesnt want to be a fwb or booty call then tell her "no thanks, I am not interested in dating right now".

There you go. I would go silent from here on out if a chick said that to me.

Also, people arent THAT busy. Stop making excuses for her. If she lusted after you she would be available to at least come over and smash.

Move on, if she reaches out invite her over for a drink (no dates) and if she doesnt, oh well.

You need to start actively looking for other chicks because this one is either going to be a fvck buddy for small amount of time until she finds someone that she wants to date or she is going to disappear when she figures out you wont give her any free non sexual attention.

Best of luck.

Glassguy response is a basic fundamental of male self worth. If we violate this, in effect "ho chasing" we hand over self worth, masculinity and our attractiveness. We cannot seriously entertain women that we arent a strong priority to. If the females desir3 for you was great enough shed be making a way. Her schedule isnt too busy for her girlfriends or that guy shes trying to get at.

 

[MountainSlide]

Her schedule isnt too busy for her girlfriends or that guy shes trying to get at.

I agree with this. She is super busy, but part of her being busy is making time for her friends. I’m busy too and don’t want to waste my time with someone who isn’t giving me what I want. So I’m just going to message her that I’ve got other things happening on said date. And let her know that when she figures out her schedule and has more free time, to give me a shout.

 

[Glassguy]

Glassguy response is a basic fundamental of male self worth. If we violate this, in effect "ho chasing" we hand over self worth, masculinity and our attractiveness. We cannot seriously entertain women that we arent a strong priority to. If the females desir3 for you was great enough shed be making a way. Her schedule isnt too busy for her girlfriends or that guy shes trying to get at.

Exactly.

Part of being a high value male is learning how to treat people the way they tell us to treat them. Too many men (especially on here) continue treating women as princesses and "relationship candidates" when in all actuality, they are showing you to treat them like a fvck buddy and not to invest in them.

So the vicious cycle of chasing after some chick or trying to turn a hoe into a housewife soon follows. Guy gets heart broken, hoe continues to smash guys that really could care less about her, etc.

A woman's actions will ALWAYS tell you what you need to know. I dont know how many times I have met up for drinks with some chick who felt compelled to tell me how poorly her ex treated her and how she always went back to him. I sat there thinking "you are now just a piece of @ss in my eyes and I will use you as fvck buddy only".

If you pay attention to what a woman tells you, there will be encoded a set of blueprints as to how to get her panties off.

Stop chasing relationships. That is a woman's job. When ANY woman feels as though you are in express lane for a relationship with her, that completely plummets your SMV.

Drinks/hangout/a date if she deserves it and smash, wash, rinse and repeat. Smash them good and they will start chasing HARD CORE.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree with this. She is super busy, but part of her being busy is making time for her friends. I’m busy too and don’t want to waste my time with someone who isn’t giving me what I want. So I’m just going to message her that I’ve got other things happening on said date. And let her know that when she figures out her schedule and has more free time, to give me a shout.

Maybe dont even give that bytch that. I dont know. Dont make her a priority going forward and im not sure she should be a option if you cant count on her for shyt. Her lust needs to be strong enough.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly.

Part of being a high value male is learning how to treat people the way they tell us to treat them. Too many men (especially on here) continue treating women as princesses and "relationship candidates" when in all actuality, they are showing you to treat them like a fvck buddy and not to invest in them.

So the vicious cycle of chasing after some chick or trying to turn a hoe into a housewife soon follows. Guy gets heart broken, hoe continues to smash guys that really could care less about her, etc.

A woman's actions will ALWAYS tell you what you need to know. I dont know how many times I have met up for drinks with some chick who felt compelled to tell me how poorly her ex treated her and how she always went back to him. I sat there thinking "you are now just a piece of @ss in my eyes and I will use you as fvck buddy only".

If you pay attention to what a woman tells you, there will be encoded a set of blueprints as to how to get her panties off.

Stop chasing relationships. That is a woman's job. When ANY woman feels as though you are in express lane for a relationship with her, that completely plummets your SMV.

Drinks/hangout/a date if she deserves it and smash, wash, rinse and repeat. Smash them good and they will start chasing HARD CORE.

Preach

 

[MountainSlide]

I think she’s a decent enough woman, so I don’t dislike her or see the need to be offended. I’m going to keep the door open, use the takeaway, and either she can submit or c’ya later.

 

[Glassguy]

I think she’s a decent enough woman, so I don’t dislike her or see the need to be offended. I’m going to keep the door open, use the takeaway, and either she can submit or c’ya later.

Decent women are fvck buddy candidates. They have to be exceptional women in life and how they treat me in order to be considered a "girlfriend" or LTR candidate.

I dont even smash women that are really just "decent" when I can smash much better and get a much higher SMV from smashing hotter chicks who have things going for them in life.

Raise your standards above "decent" and no more making excuses for this one. Adapt that mentality and create some abundance with women in your life.

 

[MountainSlide]

Raise your standards above "decent" and no more making excuses for this one.

I think you misinterpreted the definition of decent I was using. What I meant is that she seems like a caring and moral person and I don’t believe she is trying to be manipulative or extract value/resources from me. Therefore I don’t harbour ill will towards her.

I wasn’t using it to indicate candidacy as a potential LTR/FWB.

 

[MountainSlide]

lol. Last chick that pulled away from me. I was just like, okay, see yah later.

Then she started messaging me all the time and randomly calling me. I think she wanted me to chase her and I didn’t.

So I actually just called her and she’s coming over tonight lol. Haven’t seen her for months. This is going to be an easy lay.

 

[Glassguy]

I think you misinterpreted the definition of decent I was using. What I meant is that she seems like a caring and moral person and I don’t believe she is trying to be manipulative or extract value/resources from me. Therefore I don’t harbour ill will towards her.

I wasn’t using it to indicate candidacy as a potential LTR/FWB.

Based on your description of her and her actions (your words not mine), I dont even think she would qualify as "decent" in my book.

Not being harsh, but you asked for advice in this thread. She may be a very caring and moral person. But she is not being very caring to you so drop her.

It doesnt matter what she is trying to be. To you she is being unavailable. Drop her.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Let us know tomorrow if she f0cked you good.

 

[Spaz]

Giving excuses on behalf of a woman's poor behaviour towards you = typical beta shiet.

Continue with this mindset will result in you being treated like shiet by women.

But if you enjoy being treated like shiet, continue as u r.

If you don't enjoy it, then it's best u listen to what the other posters have commented.

They gave sound advice.

 

[MountainSlide]

It doesnt matter what she is trying to be. To you she is being unavailable. Drop her.

I am on here asking for advice and I’m not hating on what you’re saying or self deluding. I’m giving my opinion on her character as I’m the one that knows her.

I can also say that I’ve made mistakes in my courtship by making myself too available, not dating enough other women, diminishing value and her IL.

Anyway. I don’t need to be having back and forth text convos with her or talking on the phone. So I dismissed the conversation and told her to get in touch when she has more available time. The ball is in her court and if I do see her again, it will be on my terms, not hers.

I do appreciate the conversation because it’s useful to get other people’s insights.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I am on here asking for advice and I’m not hating on what you’re saying or self deluding. I’m giving my opinion on her character as I’m the one that knows her.

I can also say that I’ve made mistakes in my courtship by making myself too available, not dating enough other women, diminishing value and her IL.

Anyway. I don’t need to be having back and forth text convos with her or talking on the phone. So I dismissed the conversation and told her to get in touch when she has more available time. The ball is in her court and if I do see her again, it will be on my terms, not hers.

I do appreciate the conversation because it’s useful to get other people’s insights.

Dude she will reach back out to see if youre still on the line. It means nothing.

 

[MountainSlide]

Giving excuses on behalf of a woman's poor behaviour towards you = typical beta shiet.

Continue with this mindset will result in you being treated like shiet by women.

But if you enjoy being treated like shiet, continue as u r.

If you don't enjoy it, then it's best u listen to what the other posters have commented.

They gave sound advice.

I agree with you. Making excuses for a woman’s bad behaviour is beta phag shyt. I prefer a high value woman that has a busy life rather than being a needy cont. sometimes if they have a busy work life, plans have to be cancelled, the same way I may have to cancel. But the person cancelling should offer alternatives IMO.

At the end of the day. If I were just making excuses for her behaviour and taking it like a beta. I would be meeting up with her for a day date and accepting the situation.

But I’m not. Because things are going to go my way or not at all. If she wants to be FWB, then she is going to have to get in touch with me and make herself available at a time where we can have some fun and hook up. End of story.

 

[MountainSlide]

Dude she will reach back out to see if youre still on the line. It means nothing.

Easy. If she reaches out. Wait until the next day to respond. Let her know that you were with a friend the night before. And ask what’s up.

Then when she responds. Set a date at either her place or my place that can lead to sex. If she is still unavailable. Just used canned response of okay let me know when you’re schedule frees up. /end of convo.

She can reach out but it doesn’t mean ****. I’m already getting other dates. As a matter of fact, I had a girl in the other room last night when she called and had just finished getting my rocks off.

The whole concept of her putting ‘relationship on backburner’ doesn’t really mean shyt since I wasn’t exclusive with her in the first place.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Easy. If she reaches out. Wait until the next day to respond. Let her know that you were with a friend the night before. And ask what’s up.

Then when she responds. Set a date at either her place or my place that can lead to sex. If she is still unavailable. Just used canned response of okay let me know when you’re schedule frees up. /end of convo.

She can reach out but it doesn’t mean ****. I’m already getting other dates. As a matter of fact, I had a girl in the other room last night when she called and had just finished getting my rocks off.

The whole concept of her putting ‘relationship on backburner’ doesn’t really mean shyt since I wasn’t exclusive with her in the first place.

Well dayam your on point brother.

 

[HankHill]

OP, you're on the right track. Some people here just feel the need to put others down no matter what, just to make themselves sound more successful and important on the interwebs lol