So, I fell into a trap which I could see clearly, but for obvious reasons, I fell right into it.
A group of us were hanging out a couple of weeks ago. This was during a popular happy hour. None of us in this group are close friends, but we met through mutual co-workers and have been hanging out a lot together recently. One of the women in our group mentioned an upcoming event, a folk singer who was in town that she heard great things about.
So, one of the other gals asks 3 guys (including myself) if we want to go. There are several women there, but she doesn't invite any of them. I say sure, why not, it's practically free (just $10). This was a huge red flag, 1 gal 3 guys? Obviously a cluster**** but since she asked me could I really say no? It probably embarrasses her and she won't want to hang out with me again. Might as well go and see what happens. I don't know this girl very well, we've chatted a few times briefly but never at length. I don't know the other two guys very well either, but again, chatted with them briefly a few times. I don't know if any of them are close friends. I suspect not but don't know since our conversations tend to be brief and superficial and most of us are new in town.
I show up at the event right on time. One of the other guys is there, and then the girl shows up with the third guy: he had offered her a ride. Whatever. The artist isn't bad at all, I was surprised actually. She is a really beautiful gal with a great voice. We "know" lots of people there, it's very informal and I really enjoyed it.
We all head to a nearby bar afterwards. This is when things start to go awry. One of the guys is badmouthing me big time. He is being extremely loud and obnoxious about it. I call him out on it, and he denies everything, saying I'm taking things too personally. I persist and say his comments are insulting and stupid. He eventually backs down and apologizes in a very insincere, sarcastic way. The girl of course is turned off by all of this, and she asks for a ride home.
Here's the deal. The guy giving her rides (apparently he chaffeurs her wherever she wants to go) is not very good looking. Average height, fat, strangely inept socially and highly insecure. His MO is to puff himself up and make himself look important by offering people (especially women) free rides and by belittling others who threaten him for whatever reason. Almost all of us are new in town and so we are far more tolerant than we would otherwise be since we are looking to create a new social circle.
I'm becoming highly suspicious of the woman as well now however. She badmouths her exes, insulting them repeatedly. She also insulted and taunted the fat guy behind his back to me when we were alone, even though she accepts rides from him. Also, it's as clear as day that she set up this event with 3 guys as a sort of 'contest' and I feel like a sucker for falling for it.
What's strange is that she's very flirtatious with the guy giving her rides but when he's not around, she says to me that she's scared of him and that he's really creepy. So this woman is starting to strike me as quite bizarre. Actually, what triggered him is that she began taunting him about how creepy and scary he is in front of of everyone at the bar. At that point, he became especially snide and sarcastic towards me, feeling snubbed.
When I defended myself this girl got upset. She got huffy and said she wanted to leave, accepting a ride from the fat guy. After she accepted the ride, the guy asked her out for a date right on the spot while they're walking out and she yelled "no!"
All of this was super strange, but it could have been easily prevented by turning down a 3 on 1 "date." I don't even know how to process all of this, it was so strange This is a rant obviously, but I'm obviously going to have to find a new group of people to hang out with.
A group of us were hanging out a couple of weeks ago. This was during a popular happy hour. None of us in this group are close friends, but we met through mutual co-workers and have been hanging out a lot together recently. One of the women in our group mentioned an upcoming event, a folk singer who was in town that she heard great things about.
So, one of the other gals asks 3 guys (including myself) if we want to go. There are several women there, but she doesn't invite any of them. I say sure, why not, it's practically free (just $10). This was a huge red flag, 1 gal 3 guys? Obviously a cluster**** but since she asked me could I really say no? It probably embarrasses her and she won't want to hang out with me again. Might as well go and see what happens. I don't know this girl very well, we've chatted a few times briefly but never at length. I don't know the other two guys very well either, but again, chatted with them briefly a few times. I don't know if any of them are close friends. I suspect not but don't know since our conversations tend to be brief and superficial and most of us are new in town.
I show up at the event right on time. One of the other guys is there, and then the girl shows up with the third guy: he had offered her a ride. Whatever. The artist isn't bad at all, I was surprised actually. She is a really beautiful gal with a great voice. We "know" lots of people there, it's very informal and I really enjoyed it.
We all head to a nearby bar afterwards. This is when things start to go awry. One of the guys is badmouthing me big time. He is being extremely loud and obnoxious about it. I call him out on it, and he denies everything, saying I'm taking things too personally. I persist and say his comments are insulting and stupid. He eventually backs down and apologizes in a very insincere, sarcastic way. The girl of course is turned off by all of this, and she asks for a ride home.
Here's the deal. The guy giving her rides (apparently he chaffeurs her wherever she wants to go) is not very good looking. Average height, fat, strangely inept socially and highly insecure. His MO is to puff himself up and make himself look important by offering people (especially women) free rides and by belittling others who threaten him for whatever reason. Almost all of us are new in town and so we are far more tolerant than we would otherwise be since we are looking to create a new social circle.
I'm becoming highly suspicious of the woman as well now however. She badmouths her exes, insulting them repeatedly. She also insulted and taunted the fat guy behind his back to me when we were alone, even though she accepts rides from him. Also, it's as clear as day that she set up this event with 3 guys as a sort of 'contest' and I feel like a sucker for falling for it.
What's strange is that she's very flirtatious with the guy giving her rides but when he's not around, she says to me that she's scared of him and that he's really creepy. So this woman is starting to strike me as quite bizarre. Actually, what triggered him is that she began taunting him about how creepy and scary he is in front of of everyone at the bar. At that point, he became especially snide and sarcastic towards me, feeling snubbed.
When I defended myself this girl got upset. She got huffy and said she wanted to leave, accepting a ride from the fat guy. After she accepted the ride, the guy asked her out for a date right on the spot while they're walking out and she yelled "no!"
All of this was super strange, but it could have been easily prevented by turning down a 3 on 1 "date." I don't even know how to process all of this, it was so strange This is a rant obviously, but I'm obviously going to have to find a new group of people to hang out with.
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