Is online dating a waste of time

[sangheilios]

In real life I regularly attract very good looking women, 7s+, but often times it doesn't work out for me because they usually aren't single. I'll meet a cute woman who is clearly checking me out or approaches me, we hit it off and talk for a while and then she mentions she is seeing someone. It gets super frustrating but it feels good knowing that women in relationships are actually attracted to me.

Anyway, I've long had an aversion to online dating because I know the women on there are generally less than ideal. I recently decided to try using tinder and as an experiment swiped right on every profile to see what would come of it. Literally all of my matches were with overweight women, some to a significant degree, and/or women that were single mothers. Mind you, I'm 6'4", late twenties, fit/workout a lot and an attractive guy so I was a bit taken a back by this.

I do go out about one night per week but a lot of times I'm just not in the mood or just don't find anything I'd be interested in.

 

[sangheilios]

I think guys who are in th 6-8 range in looks will have the worst results online.

Why's that would you say?

 

[sangheilios]

I can only speculate, but I think OLD is just pure Hypergamy, so normie guys that have some idiosyncratic appeal or VERY good looking guys get the Lions share of attention. A 7/10 girl can actually date 10/10 men via OLD, even if just a one night stand. The 7/10 guy has to date 5 and below and that's below our minimum standard usually due to dating 7+ we meet in real life. A male below a 6 is happy with anyone so it's no skin off his back.

Well, what you said essentially sums up the what I was getting at earlier. I'm used to attracting 7s+, but with online dating I'm getting below 5s. I'm sure they aren't horrible people, but when I'm in shape it's more than fair for me to want the same.

I don't know what number I am exactly, but being 6'4", fit and above average looking I put myself in the top 10%. I generally say only the pickiest of women would deem me non dating material.

 

[Chi Town]

If your ugly it is, if your a 8+ guy then no it's not

 

[resilient]

I can only speculate, but I think OLD is just pure Hypergamy, so normie guys that have some idiosyncratic appeal or VERY good looking guys get the Lions share of attention. A 7/10 girl can actually date 10/10 men via OLD, even if just a one night stand. The 7/10 guy has to date 5 and below and that's below our minimum standard usually due to dating 7+ we meet in real life. A male below a 6 is happy with anyone so it's no skin off his back.

Real talk my dude. Chads clean up the scene. Males who rate 6.5 or below are immediately swiped left/ignored/blocked. 7~9s can stick around in messaging for attention/validation/boredom while they are stuck in waiting rooms or running boring errands.

If you have solid pics (great angles, lighting, and physic... you’ll get your foot in the door) also, you gotta know game, tease well, and make them qualify... you stand a chance of a date and more investment on her part. That’s why I’m going back to increasing my social circles and approaching. In the meantime.. doing the general focus on increasing my LMS like the rest of us DJs...

In person, you stand a better chance of stirring chemistry with body language, vocal tonality, posture, push/pull... and game in general. You will have more of her undivided attention and less dudes to compete with depending on the social environment or size of the set.

You have to put yourself in their shoes... they’re slammed with absurd amount of DMs. They hotter/sexual they look in their pics, they fuller their inbox will be.

 

[sangheilios]

Real talk my dude. Chads clean up the scene. Males who rate 6.5 or below are immediately swiped left/ignored/blocked. 7~9s can stick around in messaging for attention/validation/boredom while they are stuck in waiting rooms or running boring errands.

If you have solid pics (great angles, lighting, and physic... you’ll get your foot in the door) also, you gotta know game, tease well, and make them qualify... you stand a chance of a date and more investment on her part. That’s why I’m going back to increasing my social circles and approaching. In the meantime.. doing the general focus on increasing my LMS like the rest of us DJs...

In person, you stand a better chance of stirring chemistry with body language, vocal tonality, posture, push/pull... and game in general. You will have more of her undivided attention and less dudes to compete with depending on the social environment or size of the set.

You have to put yourself in their shoes... they’re slammed with absurd amount of DMs. They hotter/sexual they look in their pics, they fuller their inbox will be.

I do very well in real life but my opportunities are far more limited, thus the reason why I decided to try it out. Also, very few guys actually cold approach women, let alone hot ones, so this in itself makes you stand out from the rest, assuming you aren't a creeper, ugly or weird.

 

[AttackFormation]

1: You being 6'4 and fit doesn't count for much unless your pics are outstanding too.

2: Don't swipe right on every profile. Tinder will ruin your account's elo score if you do that.

Tinder in general does the opposite of what it's supposed to. It's meant to be a place where you match with the people you like. The problem is that guys are way less selective than girls, and girls are far more selective than guys... creating a negative spiral. Guys swipe right on more and more girls just to get matches, enabling girls to get more and more picky, causing guys to become more desperate, girls get more picky... in the end it just becomes a catalog of men for women. They know whatever profile shows up will most likely have swiped right on them, or will swipe right on them if they swipe right on it. So they can just pick the best of the best profiles, and use the others they match with simply as entertainment and validation.

 

[sangheilios]

1: You being 6'4 and fit doesn't count for much unless your pics are outstanding too.

2: Don't swipe right on every profile. Tinder will ruin your account's elo score if you do that.

The point I was getting at is that in my pictures you can tell I'm a tall, in shape and attractive guy. Most guys are overweight, average height or below and not exactly attractive.

I just wanted to do this as an experiment, I know that I'm not going to find what I'm looking for on a dating app.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't like OLD for the reason it's overwhelming and most of the guys are "Meh" to downright ugly. I don't have time to sift through 100 Meh people to get to one who looks interesting - and then that 1 you have to text with, build rapport, etc.

I've also found that the few times I have gone out with someone I met online the men looked worse than their pictures. I look better than my pictures. There was one notable exception to that and he was HOT. We ended up dating for 18 months and remain friendly. Great, great guy.

But I prefer to meet men IRL. That way I can meet men who like the things I like and the sorts of places I like to go.

But the main reason I avoid OLD now is that I find it a waste of time.

 

[AttackFormation]

I don't like OLD for the reason it's overwhelming and most of the guys are "Meh" to downright ugly. I don't have time to sift through 100 Meh people to get to one who looks interesting - and then that 1 you have to text with, build rapport, etc.

I've also found that the few times I have gone out with someone I met online the men looked worse than their pictures. I look better than my pictures. There was one notable exception to that and he was HOT. We ended up dating for 18 months and remain friendly. Great, great guy.

But I prefer to meet men IRL. That way I can meet men who like the things I like and the sorts of places I like to go.

But the main reason I avoid OLD now is that I find it a waste of time.

100 guys to swipe right on 1 guy - so a 0,9% like rate. You'd think BeExcellent is exaggerating but that's higher than the average for females, which is (given at the end here) 0,87% - are you lowering your standards?

And then the blue pill culture says women are the "less shallow" gender, that doesn't rate looks as much. Lmfao. Being red pilled is funny at times.

 

[sangheilios]

I don't like OLD for the reason it's overwhelming and most of the guys are "Meh" to downright ugly. I don't have time to sift through 100 Meh people to get to one who looks interesting - and then that 1 you have to text with, build rapport, etc.

I've also found that the few times I have gone out with someone I met online the men looked worse than their pictures. I look better than my pictures. There was one notable exception to that and he was HOT. We ended up dating for 18 months and remain friendly. Great, great guy.

But I prefer to meet men IRL. That way I can meet men who like the things I like and the sorts of places I like to go.

But the main reason I avoid OLD now is that I find it a waste of time.

I honestly had this fear in my mind of matching with someone, texting back and forth then going to meet up on a date and find out they are huge or look way worse than their pictures, "fatfished".

I'd honestly rather meet people in the real world, though this can often be very limited with it's opportunities. I've had months literally go by with no prospects I'd be interested in and that is not a great place to be.

 

[sangheilios]

100 guys to swipe right on 1 guy - so a 0,9% like rate. You'd think BeExcellent is exaggerating but that's higher than the average for females, which is (given at the end here) 0,87% - are you lowering your standards?

And then the blue pill culture says women are the "less shallow" gender, that doesn't rate looks as much. Lmfao. Being red pilled is funny at times.

Damn, lol. I'll probably stick to approaching women in real life, only been completely blown off once as far as I remember. Average guys are made to feel ugly, above average guys probably feel below average to average.

 

[resilient]

I've had months literally go by with no prospects I'd be interested in and that is not a great place to be.

Use that time to improve your life on all levels like a mf. Plate rotation takes up a huge chunk of time and money depending on how many dates in.

Droughts suck, yet if you’re busy living your life, feeling great, feeling fulfilled women will pick up on your successful vibe and want a slice.

Part of why OLD sucks like many of have said above is all men are swiping right and desperate for a convo and date. It’s harder for women to evaluate a catch. Hence that pickiness.

 

[BeExcellent]

100 guys to swipe right on 1 guy - so a 0,9% like rate. You'd think BeExcellent is exaggerating but that's higher than the average for females, which is (given at the end here) 0,87% - are you lowering your standards?

And then the blue pill culture says women are the "less shallow" gender, that doesn't rate looks as much. Lmfao. Being red pilled is funny at times.

Honestly I think it's a function of my age, lol. The best looking men in the age group I prefer (45 - 55) do tend to pull younger women or prefer younger women. I look mid 30s in person and see no point in lying about my age.

What I find in real life is that men are delighted to meet someone in their own age & life experience who is still hot. Add to that no pressure for kids, no need to support me financially, and a good personality and I have no issues attracting men.

But if men are not looking online for women in their same age then they are not going to see my profile anyway.

No biggie, but again, more reasons I find OLD a time sink. I do fine in real life and prefer actual in person interactions as it is.

 

[sangheilios]

Use that time to improve your life on all levels like a mf. Plate rotation takes up a huge chunk of time and money depending on how many dates in.

Droughts suck, yet if you’re busy living your life, feeling great, feeling fulfilled women will pick up on your successful vibe and want a slice.

Part of why OLD sucks like many of have said above is all men are swiping right and desperate for a convo and date. It’s harder for women to evaluate a catch. Hence that pickiness.

I definitely agree. Last year I was meeting tons of hot women that were into me, mostly at the gym, but it didn't work for me because they had bfs. In the spring of this year I was making tons of new friends and having a great time with my life and this summer was again meeting lots of hot girls. Went on a couple dates with a hot half mexican and japanese girl, I got instant hard ons around her., Met a half mexican and half colombian girl at my gym, she was a psycho though, et a hot light skinned black girl at my gym who is seeing someone but goes out of he way to talk to me now.

I think I'm going to step away from OLD and focus on the real world, I don't think this is good for me mentally.

 

[resilient]

I think I'm going to step away from OLD and focus on the real world, I don't think this is good for me mentally.

Good luck brother. When a man steps back from dating for a while, shifts his focus on his life and his purpose — life will begin to fall in place as you apply yourself.

Any investment in well-being is a win/win.

I can’t remember who said it, but I’m believing in the following statement more and more, “when you stop caring about results, results come.”

You’ll be different than those thirsty dudes chasing tail online. When you meet the ones you’re interested in real life, you’ll be in a better healthier mindset... subsequently ready for what’s next.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

Good luck brother. When a man steps back from dating for a while, shifts his focus on his life and his purpose — life will begin to fall in place as you apply yourself.

Any investment in well-being is a win/win.

I can’t remember who said it, but I’m believing in the following statement more and more, “when you stop caring about results, results come.”

You’ll be different than those thirsty dudes chasing tail online. When you meet the ones you’re interested in real life, you’ll be in a better healthier mindset... subsequently ready for what’s next.

sound advice. after coming here and poking around a bit more (ive lurked for years) i think i realize i need to shift my focus from women to success. its wild how you can get caught up in this rat race of gaming, and even getting laid a lot, while all the while completely stagnating financially/spiritually.

 

[sangheilios]

Good luck brother. When a man steps back from dating for a while, shifts his focus on his life and his purpose — life will begin to fall in place as you apply yourself.

Any investment in well-being is a win/win.

I can’t remember who said it, but I’m believing in the following statement more and more, “when you stop caring about results, results come.”

You’ll be different than those thirsty dudes chasing tail online. When you meet the ones you’re interested in real life, you’ll be in a better healthier mindset... subsequently ready for what’s next.

LIke I said, I'll still approach women I see in the real world that I'm attracted to but going to cease online dating all together.

I'm looking for a girl that is attractive, fit/likes to workout, enjoys being active, educated and just a likeable girl all around. I'm sure as hell not going to find her on a dating app or site lol. When I was younger I used to not have the confidence to approach women in public, even ones who were making eye contact with me. Now that I'm older, this isn't a problem anymore.

 

[Young OG]

In real life I regularly attract very good looking women, 7s+, but often times it doesn't work out for me because they usually aren't single. I'll meet a cute woman who is clearly checking me out or approaches me, we hit it off and talk for a while and then she mentions she is seeing someone. It gets super frustrating but it feels good knowing that women in relationships are actually attracted to me.

Anyway, I've long had an aversion to online dating because I know the women on there are generally less than ideal. I recently decided to try using tinder and as an experiment swiped right on every profile to see what would come of it. Literally all of my matches were with overweight women, some to a significant degree, and/or women that were single mothers. Mind you, I'm 6'4", late twenties, fit/workout a lot and an attractive guy so I was a bit taken a back by this.

I do go out about one night per week but a lot of times I'm just not in the mood or just don't find anything I'd be interested in.

If your attractive and fit then the reason your not doing good on Tinder is because your pictures suck. It took me a long time to get good at online dating. What made the biggest difference was getting professional pictures taken. My friend who is a photographer, took pics of me outdoors and inside a studio. Ever since I used the best ones from those shoots, the difference was like night and day online.

Height doesn't matter on Tinder or Bumble very much. I'm only 5' 5" and my recent lays back that up.

As it was already mentioned, don't swipe right on every profile. Tinder will give you a bad score and your card won't show up very often or when it does, it will be shown to ugly girls. I would say swipe right every 3 out of 5 profiles. You might as well delete it and start over with new pics and a fresh score.

 

[sangheilios]

If your attractive and fit then the reason your not doing good on Tinder is because your pictures suck. It took me a long time to get good at online dating. What made the biggest difference was getting professional pictures taken. My friend who is a photographer, took pics of me outdoors and inside a studio. Ever since I used the best ones from those shoots, the difference was like night and day online.

Height doesn't matter on Tinder or Bumble very much. I'm only 5' 5" and my recent lays back that up.

As it was already mentioned, don't swipe right on every profile. Tinder will give you a bad score and your card won't show up very often or when it does, it will be shown to ugly girls. I would say swipe right every 3 out of 5 profiles. You might as well delete it and start over with new pics and a fresh score.

That's good advice, but the moment I feel the need to do all of that just to meet women off the internet, whom I'm unlikely to actually be all that into, is a sign I'm doing something wrong. As an above average guy, I'm not going to put so much effort into meeting average to below average women. Women that are attractive, likeable and actually get out of the house do not have to resort to online dating to meet men.

Don't take this as an attack on what you said, I just personally don't see the incentive of putting this much time and effort into my tinder profile when I could just go to a bar and approach women and get near instant results.