Party with female friend, keeping it casual?

[MoreThanSmooth]

Over the last couple of weeks I've had some really neat dates with this one chick that have been different from the usual nonsense. She's cute and smart, very flirty and I want to see more of her. She's told me she wants to keep things pretty casual for now, she's very cool about discussing what she wants without BS so that's a plus.

At the same time a long term female friend of mine (4 years, platonic) has invited me to a party with her a few days from now. She's told me I mean a lot to her in the past and she's started messaging this week getting heavier, saying stuff like we should get drinks and even go on holiday together sometime (!)

She had an LTR for 3 years but now I'm suspicious that she's single because she keeps asking to hang out alone with me. It feels like she's hitting on me.

Obviously we'll be getting drunk at this party at her place and stuff may or may not happen if she's single...but it seems possible it will from our chatter. I think she's hot, not going to lie...but not sure an LTR between us would work so it feels like I could be shooting myself in the foot and losing a good friend if I f*ck up.

If we slept together, am I screwing myself out of dating this other cool chick I've been seeing? There's no mention of exclusivity anywhere at all so I'm a free agent, but at the same time I feel a bit like I'm backing myself into a corner. How the f*ck do you tell a 4-year-friend that you want to take it easy if you end up having sex?

If this friend wants to get it on, do I reject her in favour of the cool new lady? Or should I be relaxing about the whole thing and seeing the both of them until something exclusive comes up?

 

[Chi Town]

Bang her, I don't see what the issue is?
It's not like the other girl will kno about it
How is this a problem?

As long as you don't treat her like a gf then it will be casual.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Bang her, I don't see what the issue is?
It's not like the other girl will kno about it
How is this a problem?

As long as you don't treat her like a gf then it will be casual.

Yeah, normally I'd not be worried but I'm fond of my friend. Not one-itis kind of fond, but I don't want to f*ck over her feelings for a quick hump. She's told me before that I'm one of her best friends, so pulling a fast one and then dumping her for this other chick would make me feel like a piece of sh*t.

I guess if I'm upfront with what's going on with me right now and how I'm not looking for anything serious it's not a problem. Only a problem if I keep her in the dark.

As you can tell...I tend to overthink...!

 

[jaymbrs]

Yeah, normally I'd not be worried but I'm fond of my friend. Not one-itis kind of fond, but I don't want to f*ck over her feelings for a quick hump. She's told me before that I'm one of her best friends, so pulling a fast one and then dumping her for this other chick would make me feel like a piece of sh*t.

I guess if I'm upfront with what's going on with me right now and how I'm not looking for anything serious it's not a problem. Only a problem if I keep her in the dark.

As you can tell...I tend to overthink...!

Once the attraction is there, the friendship is essentially over. At least for awhile. I speak from experience. So hooking up won't necessarily end the friendship, per se.

 

[Spaz]

There's no such thing as a platonic male-female relationship.

Just fvck and be on good terms.

 

[Murk]

Smooth I remember when you joined and made a post about being a virgin, have you got past that now or is this potentially the time.

Either way, smash both of these chicks, your friend of 4 years isn't trying to LTR you it seems just go through her if possible.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Smooth I remember when you joined and made a post about being a virgin, have you got past that now or is this potentially the time.

Either way, smash both of these chicks, your friend of 4 years isn't trying to LTR you it seems just go through her if possible.

Aye, still carrying that V-Card. I've just finished spending a solid year finishing my work project and I've barely got out of the house...now that I'm free I've been dating like crazy. It's actually been really fun, it almost feels like getting out of prison or something, ha!

Last chick ended the date by telling me she'd really love to give me some "private music lessons" and she's "really, really good at it" so I feel like she's basically asking to get it on with me ASAP. I should really get round to setting that up...was much more enjoyable than the usual ghosting/attention-seeking nonsense.

Turns out this party is going to be this insane 12 hour hell-raising bash until the early hours so I'm going to pass that bit because I've got a really busy week and I need some sleep. Still might go grab drinks with this friend once I'm less busy though, I have no doubt she'll be flirting with me like crazy.

I think you're right that I should just enjoy trying it on with the both of them.

 

[marmel75]

Bang her if you want and let her know you are not committing to her upfront. Maybe even before it happena so then she can decide if she wants to or not so she doesnt try and make you out to be some douchebag afterwards. If you value her as a friend that is. If not then do what you want.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Thanks for the advice guys, appreciate it.

Trying to maintain my sense of mystery with the girl I've been seeing, it seems to be working wonders but gets increasingly difficult as the text game goes on longer. Next date is a few miles out of town but I'm thinking if I get the third date I'll ask her for a tour of her area and see if she wants to go back to her's after...

Playing it cool atm though, throwing in a bit of ballsiness every now and then to keep her interested.

 

[old_skoolr]

Last chick ended the date by telling me she'd really love to give me some "private music lessons" and she's "really, really good at it" so I feel like she's basically asking to get it on with me ASAP. I should really get round to setting that up...was much more enjoyable than the usual ghosting/attention-seeking nonsense.

Did she ever go to band camp and how is her flute skills?

 

[old_skoolr]

Take both chicks to the party and watch how they interact with each other. Smash them both with no remorse.

Have some fun dude, let us know how you go.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Haha unfortunately the party already went down yesterday. Ended up getting far more drunk than planned 'cos everyone was buying drinks for me at the pre-party.

Friend gave me a kiss when she was super drunk. She also hinted that she wants to get me partying with her every other week, but at the same time she really goes hard. I'm not into drugs but she and most of her friends are really into drugs, which makes it difficult to go beyond friendship really.

Also all her friends kept coming up and telling me how much she talks about me, which I found a bit weird. I'm not her BF but she's telling all her pals about me all the time literally for years? One friend said she's been "talking about me" since she's known her, and she's known her 3 years! I have no idea what to make of that.

Anyway my friend said I really should cut loose more often and I agree, I'm pretty uptight to be honest. But my idea of cutting loose is beer, a good movie and some making out, not getting smashed out of my head on MDMA and coke. She'd probably be up for that too but if I suggest it I'm committing to what could be a train-wreck given our differences...

Regardless she's invited me out a few weeks from now and meanwhile I'm main-ing the other chick.

EDIT - Oh and there's a third chick that sexts me sometimes. Not hugely into her tbh, but sometimes it's tempting purely because she seems so keen. That's probably a warning sign...

 

[old_skoolr]

Keep that party chick at arms reach. If your already feeling weird about it, that's just your gut telling you something. Organize a night to pop your cherry and then let her go.

Keep spinning and keep having fun.

Also no love without the glove