Oh ****. Quick advice?

[peanutbuttablunts]

Ok so a week or so ago I had been going to whole foods and had flirted with one of the employees, i ended up just pulling back because im busy and there were no non-creepy ways i could have given the girl my number. i find out this morning that I have matched one of her employees on bumble....i understand that this is either potentially very good or potentially very bad.....what should i do? I have no actual interest in the match, and i feel like just outright saying "oh hey i shop there i have a crush on one of your fellow employees give her my number for me" isnt going to work

 

[Serenity]

I have never used bumble, but can't you just ignore the match? I don't see why you're stressed out about this, it's a non-issue...

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

no i think you missed my intention. i want to now use this bumble match as a way to get closer to the (much prettier, lol) girl that she works with. im not stressed about this, if anything im kind of glad/excited that i matched her because this could (potentially) work in my favor greatly...

 

[Papa_smu]

no i think you missed my intention. i want to now use this bumble match as a way to get closer to the (much prettier, lol) girl that she works with. im not stressed about this, if anything im kind of glad/excited that i matched her because this could (potentially) work in my favor greatly...

You could just ask her out. No sense in overthinking it.

 

[Serenity]

no i think you missed my intention. i want to now use this bumble match as a way to get closer to the (much prettier, lol) girl that she works with. im not stressed about this, if anything im kind of glad/excited that i matched her because this could (potentially) work in my favor greatly...

Thought you were stressed because of your obvious overthinking and the fact that your title starts with "Oh ****". Anyways, your plan sounds like a recipe for failure. Going through others is what kids do. Be an adult, go up to her and do it yourself. Going through a co-worker of her will not exactly display your manliness and most likely they'll laugh at you together for doing it.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

youre right

 

[marmel75]

I have never used bumble, but can't you just ignore the match? I don't see why you're stressed out about this, it's a non-issue...

I have no idea either

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

A man is direct and asks unapologetically for what he wants. Be a man.

If she says no, you got your answer and you know where you stand. If she says yes, you got your answer and know where you stand. All the mental gymnastics are manifestations of your own irrational fear.

Ignore the Bumble match. Trying to go through others is wimpy and totally creepy.

See first sentence in post.

 

[Serenity]

asks apologetically

I think the word you were trying to write is "unapologetically".

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

I am pretty sure that is a typo, but it made for a pretty humorous sentence xD. You are right, this is mental gymnastics and it is due to fear. those always end up being the best relationships though because there is a challenge initially, a thirst, it makes me work harder in my daily life too. but youre right i shouldn't be "working hard" to get this girls number or something. i realize that because i feel this way its going to reduce the chances that she will be into me, as this is obviously pedestalization. as far as my taste is concerned though, she would be as close to a 10 as i believe exists, but im a firm believer in the idea that there are no 10s, at best 9.9s. no one is perfect. (my attraction is due to a transference of "faciality", she resembles a younger, pristine, version of an ex's mom.) i may have already overthought the issue, and formed a semi-oneitis situation on myself. either way i should just focus on myself and if an opportunity does arise, which im sure it will at some point i do my shopping there pretty frequently, i will give her my number. but i feel as though seeking her out isn't the best idea, rather im just going to put it out of my mind, go with the flow and not concern myself with whether or not i will be validated by her.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think the word you were trying to write is "unapologetically".

Correct. Sometimes the spellcheck here has a mind of its own. Edit made.

 

[R.U.G.]

Try to fvck em both. At least, that's what I'd do. It's not like you work there. Has little effect on you unless you care.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I wouldn´t give her my number, I would try to get hers instead or just plain ask her out.

Some people say it´s weak to give her your number, like you´re reversing roles or something; you making her lead when you should always be the one leading.

 

[peanutbuttablunts]

Try to fvck em both. At least, that's what I'd do. It's not like you work there. Has little effect on you unless you care.

this might be great advice tbh