Missed the part about his friends wife trying to fvck him...(to be fair he did warn his ass) I have been in a sh!tload of relationships and one marriage..the only time it worked for me is when I got everything 100 % on my terms,and don't EVER live with a woman.
One thing i will say: women create the "creeps and stalkers"
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RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
BG is the most dude-like chick I have ever dated. She would go after men based almost purely on looks... she's like a dude in that regard, for men looks are the single most important factor, same with BG. She's one of the only women I know that I could sit in a bar with, drinking beer watching a football game, and have a REAL engaging conversation. But she is still a chick... and chicks can not love men they do not respect. WM was like a living Greek God statue, and a super nice guy... BG 'loved' him because he was hot, like many dudes do. But because she's a chick, her on going interest will be driven by things other than looks.
She did something else lots of chicks do... they get into LTR with men that, to them, are 'projects'. They find dudes that have most of what they want, and figure she can manipulate him into the perfect guy. If you allow yourself to be manipulated into something she wants, she will lose respect for you and eventually fall out of love. If you resist her efforts at manipulation she will get angry and continue to nag the fvck out of you. So in a way you are right there really is a Kobayashi Maru, the only thing LTRs do is test a man's character... and the only way to win is to 'cheat'.
So what is 'cheating', well it's not really cheating, but chicks think it is because it turns their emotional manipulative tactics back on them. The only way to make a LTR work is for her to believe you are the best she can do, so it's a mix of you being the best man you can be, while at the same time, keeping her in her place. You can never let her believe she is better than you are. If you are the type of guy that brings flowers and gifts, telling her how much you 'love' her, posting mushy BS on social media, she will lose attraction for you. We men 'love' based on loyalty, so they think if they exhibit commitment to a chick, that that will keep her interested in you. Women do not love like this, their emotion is based on what you can give her. She doesn't give a flying fvck about how much you love her or how loyal YOU are to her, all she really cares about is how YOU make HER feel. You have to keep delivering to her a wide variety of emotions, love-hate-humor-disgust-love-hate-humor-disgust etc etc...
If you are focused on being the best man you can, you operate from a 'selfish' framework which keeps you from becoming a simp. And if you deliver her a variety of emotions, you are keeping her on the emotional rollercoaster ride which is what she really wants.
The kiss of death for a relationship is when she believes you are lucky to have her. In chick-speak, when a woman tells another women "Oh, he is so lucky to have you!", the what she really means is "Girl, you can do better than him!" You do not want to be in this place... because your special snowflake will eventually flake.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Seems you can boil it down to three steps for a LTR:
1. Give her the emotional rollercoaster
2. Know what makes her respect you and don't change that
3. Ask yourself if she feels lucky to have you
Would love to hear what @AJ84 , @BeExcellent , @sazc have to say about this... and of course, but sadly inactive now it seems, @LiveYourDream
What do you mean by the "disgust" part of the cycle? Which by the way, and I've thought about this little trivia before, looks much like the "cycle of abuse". I would've assumed you mean something like jealousy, but you didn't use that word.
Haha... love the chickspeak translation. It's so damn true.
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Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
This. Very well put.
If even 50% of "men" would grow a pair of balls instead of capitulating every time a hot woman acted like a brat or tried to cuck them, it would swing the dating game back into a net positive for all men.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
On disgust... well, it really all depends on the chick. With some chicks, giving a BJ is disgusting, while others love it. You make her push her boundaries on what she considers 'acceptable' behavior. To some chicks, certain kinds of foods are disgusting, but if that is what you like to eat, then NEVER give something up you like because she believes it's disgusting. If you like BJs and she thinks is 'disgusting' then make sure she knows that is a condition of keeping you around. You can't force her to do ANYTHING, but you can walk away from women that are not submitting to what you want. If she puts up with your 'disgusting' behavior, then she is committing to the relationship, which she evaluates as worthy.
I'm not saying go out of your way to disgust her, but to not shy away from anything just because she thinks it's disgusting.
My cousin is married to a guy who likes to hunt... he brings home deer and renders them in the garage, with deer heads all over the walls of her house. She finds this epically disgusting, but her husband refuses to give this up because this is what he likes.... She STILL b!tches about this... and has been thought their 30+ years of marriage.
It's better that she is disgusted then if she believes you are a spineless whim that would cave into any of her demands.
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AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
This would probably be the most counter-intuitive of all the points for a blue pill guy. They'd think, how could a woman respect you more because you don't do what she says? "Respect is all about approval!" In that regard it's amazing that your cousin's husband has managed to stand firm for 30+ years. I can recall the same thing from my own life, like refusing to hold their handbags when they "needed" me to and grinning at them... it's not malicious or obnoxious, just playfully contrarian. It's a seemingly small thing but with women, nothing is a small thing. They keep score of this for your character, and they'll admit it themselves if not with words then with a knowing smile. I swear I can almost feel their sense of relief when they can't hold back a smile and/or slap my body as I tell them "no" and grin when they ask me to do something for them. "No" is one of the sexiest things a woman can hear.
You'd have to be real careful getting this out, because as you warned of, I can see a lot of guys interpreting this as meaning you need to be obnoxious in order for her to want you. When it's really you want to be playfully contrarian have a spine, and if that spine gives her emotional fluctuations, that's good.
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RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Good point.
Another story... when I was a brand new Second Lieutenant at Ft. Benning attending IOBC, I met Gene Hackworth (if you don't know who he is look him up) in the O-Club bar (this was 1988). This was before the Army had really gone through radical changes in expected behavior of officers, and when strippers still performed in O-Clubs... well it was stripper night, and the place was naturally packed. Back then officers of all ranks would get together, drink, at a little crazy and in that relaxed casual atmosphere, SMART junior officers would listen to their fellow officers of senior rank, and you would learn more things in that environment than anything you might learn in training and development about leadership. All that started to change with the Tail-hook Incident, where a bunch of Naval 'Aviators' (some of the biggest A-holes in the world) fvcked things up for all of us, by treating fellow female officers like wh0res, behaving like the social retards they are. But that's a different story.
The point is that COL Hackworth told me that in any officer's career there will come a point where you have to go against the grain, you might have to break some rules. Well he's dead now, but he told me a story that I am free to share now that he is gone. One night in Vietnam they captured a VC that he knew had information that if they could act on it right away, would save lives and deal the enemy a serious blow. So he made the decision to torture the information out of him.... which he did, and got the expected results... an enemy battalion was ambushed and taken off the map, and it saved dozens, if not hundreds of American lives. Torture is wrong, it is a violation of the law of land warfare, and a violation of international treaties which our government has signed. The point was that he was in a no win scenario and an ethical dilemma, if he followed the rules, people would die, if he broke the rules he could be court marshaled.
Then he looked me in the eye and said words I will never forget. "In your career I guarantee that you will be faced with tough decision between two rights, just remember that if you take the path to something which violates the rules, make sure it is the path to the hill you want to die on."
What he meant about that was if you break the rules, there could or will be consequences. Make sure you are willing to pay that price.
So what does all this fvcking mean in the context of this thread? Well, just be careful where you draw the line with your chick. Don't be a @ss for the sake of being an @ss because you think treating women like cr@p is how to get them interested. If your chick asks you to do something that you don't want to do, for whatever reason, and you say no... make sure it's worth it to you to potentially lose her.
If a chick asked me to hold her purse, and there appeared to be a good reason for this (she struggling with other bags, having trouble opening her car, has to fix a strap on her dress...) then go ahead an fvcking hold her purse. But if she hands you her purse, and she obviously doesn't need any help, just look at her and say "What, your arm is broken? Looks fine to me." Or tell her you'll hold her purse if she does something else for you... joke around about it.
Now I'll do just about any kinky s3x thing a chick wants, but there are three things I will not do: Play the role of a 'cuck' in her fantasy, engage in **** where I am bruising her or drawing blood (harmless velvet whips are fine), or stink my tongue in her a-hole. Now if any of these three things is what it takes to get a particular chick hot... sorry, in my opinion it's not worth it. So those are the hills I am NOT willing to die on.
Every man has limits to what he is willing to do, but understand that when you draw lines you have to be willing to accept the consequences.
marvinlfloresq
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Hummm, you invited or summon her for experience, or just wanted to see her? There are a million of experts in the world.
You are bitter by the tone of your comment. The only thing I agree upon is that its difficult to give advice when the advice goes against the person's own belief. So your friend or whatever he is now, is a father, good for him, at least something came out for him.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Don't worry Mike. I think I speak for everyone when I say I could read a catalog of your stories. Your lesson is absorbed.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Well since you asked.... she was invited onto the panel discussion because the CEO of the World Trade Center wanted more 'diversity' on the panel, truth is she was not even my 3rd choice. Since the panel was already composed of an expert on IT finance, Customs and Border requirements, Manufacturing exports, and freight forwarding. All old white dudes. We needed a woman... DV has been doing ag exports for 10 years, her whole working career so she knows what she is doing and will contribute on the panel. But actually I invited her boss first, another women who I do not know, but she was not available... so DV is standing in for her.
Agricultural export is a whole different animal, very different from regular goods and non-expendable RM. It requires as great deal of expertise in quickly navigating the export/import process because the timeline of the process is very short. As soon as whatever you are selling is picked... the clock starts and any disruption in the supply chain can be catastrophic. There will always be a high loss rate in transport, which means your sale price is going to rise in any market you deliver, and you have to make sure that your asking price in the market is competitive with the loss rate. There is also the added problem that in many export markets the local farmers have a great deal of political clout and this has to be off-set with personal relationships in the market you are sending your product. It is not un-common, in some markets where you shipment of ag goods is somehow 'delayed' in the customs of where you are shipping because of a 'paperwork' problem, which is 'somehow' resolved just in time for your product to have spoiled. There are lots of things that can go wrong when shipping perishable goods... and there really are not too many people that know how to do this that can present well on a stage.
I am bitter that K has found himself in his current predicament. I'm really not bitter about women... they are what they are, forces of nature. You can't be bitter about a hurricane blowing through your town, but you should and can be bitter about how people respond to it.
Yep... he is a father.... again. To add to his already three grown children who he had only recently all gotten out of college. His new son is right about a year old now, and when he graduates from college K is going to be 72 years old. But my problem with his decision has nothing to do with that. It's that K had said all along that he did not want anymore kids, and the ONLY reason he agreed to this was to make DV happy, this is a problem. He didn't want this knowing that having small kids and a family was going to take away from his growing businesses... which it has.... he made an emotional decision and the ramifications were predictable.
marvinlfloresq
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Yeah - im not reading this lol. Jesus christ man thats a lot of text. Be well brother.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.
—Mark Twain
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Mike, you say women are a force of nature but you'll still blame K for his predicament. I see your point, but look at it this way (with the caveat that I personally don't believe there is "free" will). Humans have evolved toward the present for 10s of thousands of years. K and the other guys like him are the ones who have reproduced, because women slept with them. You could make the argument that his simp behavior is just as much of a product of nature as she is. Isn't you blaming him more a reflection of a wish to believe you can create positive change in nature?
Sometimes I wonder if everything we say, do and strive for has already played out over the countless human generations through thousands of years in history... and we are just the latest set of actors on the same stage with the same script, thinking and striving and doing what countless others before us have done, in an eternal play which only to us performers seems to be our own.
Sometimes I wonder if everything we say, do and strive for has already played out over the countless human generations through thousands of years in history... and we are just the latest set of actors on the same stage with the same script, thinking and striving and doing what countless others before us have done, in an eternal play which only to us performers seems to be our own.
Game Over.
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A
AJ84
Guest
A successful LTR depends on the intentions of the two people in it.
But, generally, mutual respect, attraction, appreciation and compromise are common factors in successful LTR.
1) The emotional roller coaster thing probably works best on women who trive in drama and excitement and get bored and restless with comfort game.
Woman who respond more to comfort would probably be deterred by emotional roller coaster game. So certain things work on certain women I would say.
2 and 3 for sure. But respect is earned, we don’t just respect someone, just because. If someone respects me I will respect them 100%.
If he has good values and healthy boundaries and stands up for those while also respecting our values and boundaries that goes a long way. It’s hard for women, or anyone I would say, to respect and feel lucky to have someone who treats them badly.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Thanks AJ. I honestly don't expect and don't blame any woman for minimizing or denying the emotional rollercoaster thing when it's brought out overtly, and no one is comfortable with the idea that someone is "manipulating" them (by learning rather than being born with good game), so your word on that is as good as it'll get. In any case, of course it's calibrated to the woman and just like approaching and holding conversations is something men learn by experience. I suppose #2 and #3 are more palatable.
peanutbuttablunts
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emotional roller coaster is a strong term. i would say generally speaking an emotional rollercoaster is a bad idea (a very bad idea, indeed). obviously you want their emotions fluttering though, you want them strong, etc. that usually takes a controlled amount of absence/presence in order to titrate properly to the correct woman. if you are "playing games" anyone, especially women, can tell. if you draw the line rather than seek the point you will have better success. busy yourself with a career so that she dreams about you instead of thinking of ways to avoid a woman so that shes flying on an "emotional roller coaster"
edit: i say this because, in my last relationship, i thought that the emotional rollercoaster was a good way to make her stay. it works for a while, but not forever. ...good idea? its not, and it makes you look bad too. thats why i say emotional rollercoaster is too strong of a term. emotional, yes. rollercoaster? ehhh...guess what? mr joeblo 21yo and his car is dented, he's "calming" and his energy is medicinal, he knows a lot about astrology too. she wont leave you for him, but thinking that shes not going to cut him a slice (might not even be sex, especially at first, but it will become that) bc youre emotionally distant and "cold", not afraid to "piss her off"...... wat about the way he makes her feel ? her friends and therapist are egging her on to "seek happiness"....
edit: i say this because, in my last relationship, i thought that the emotional rollercoaster was a good way to make her stay. it works for a while, but not forever. ...good idea? its not, and it makes you look bad too. thats why i say emotional rollercoaster is too strong of a term. emotional, yes. rollercoaster? ehhh...guess what? mr joeblo 21yo and his car is dented, he's "calming" and his energy is medicinal, he knows a lot about astrology too. she wont leave you for him, but thinking that shes not going to cut him a slice (might not even be sex, especially at first, but it will become that) bc youre emotionally distant and "cold", not afraid to "piss her off"...... wat about the way he makes her feel ? her friends and therapist are egging her on to "seek happiness"....
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marvinlfloresq
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Say what? Lmao -
Yo, im not reading all that **** man. Its not like it's going to help me. Bro, put your tampon on sheesh... I thought we were men in here. Ranger thank you, this was funny as ****.
"Is the key to life" in there by any chance? Jajaja. All good bro.
peanutbuttablunts
Don Juan
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actually ranger mike has top tier advice youre doing yourself an absolute (a lil douchebaggy too btw) disservice by not listening to him, especially if he takes the time to write something long
marvinlfloresq
Don Juan
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Are you holding his left nut or right? Keep that thought.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
You made incorrect assumptions about my actions, you were wrong. I know we live in a world of Tweets where everyone is supposed to communicate in 144 characters but sometimes explanations take lots of words. I do try to keep things succinct, but in the process of doing so, I leave out parts that could lead to assumption. After your post, I went back a re-read what I posted, and I agree what I posted could be interpreted as me being a epic douche-bag trying to fvck my friend's wife. I totally see how you came to that conclusion, so I took the time to explain my thought process in the hopes you would get the big picture.
Ignorance is forgivable, but being stupid is no way to go through life. But hey... it's your choice, go ahead and block me if you don't think I'm adding anything to your knowledge, no skin off my nose brother.