Stagnation at SoSuave: When Frame is Weakness

[ChristopherColumbus]

Or you just can't be bothered pursuing dizzy girls.....

And how is 'being the prize' different from being 'God's gift to women'? Crazy women might like arrogance, but you risk scaring off the right kind of woman.

 

[Spaz]

Or you just can't be bothered pursuing dizzy girls.....

And how is 'being the prize' different from being 'God's gift to women'? Crazy women might like arrogance, but you risk scaring off the right kind of woman.

You must remember women r herd like, this year she's ur kind of woman and then suddenly decides that something else is better because the rest of her friends is doing it.

If you r not prepared for it then u r in for a rude awakening.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

You must remember women r herd like, this year she's ur kind of woman and then suddenly decides that something else is better because the rest of her friends is doing it.

If you r not prepared for it then u r in for a rude awakening.

I am not going to adapt myself to how women's behavior is supposed to be today. I am my own person, and will expect a woman to adapt herself to me. That process ideally starts with her pursuing me. Reverse that equation, and you have given your masculine power away....

 

[Spaz]

Nicely said

 

[fastlife]

Or you just can't be bothered pursuing dizzy girls.....

And how is 'being the prize' different from being 'God's gift to women'? Crazy women might like arrogance, but you risk scaring off the right kind of woman.

I am not going to adapt myself to how women's behavior is supposed to be today. I am my own person, and will expect a woman to adapt herself to me. That process ideally starts with her pursuing me. Reverse that equation, and you have given your masculine power away....

Since when is unwillingness to adapt to get what you want 'masculine power?' 'You' are capable of exhibiting a wide array of potential behaviors, based on context and experience, that are all equally 'you' and that, practiced enough over time, will become whatever you identify with. And 'power,' in its simplest definition, is the ability to get what you want. If you don't want/need/desire sex, that's cool--but let's not pretend that, if you do want/need/desire sex, there is any virtue in not being proactive in that pursuit in the most effective, efficient way possible.

Furthermore, let's apply your logic to other endeavors:

• Most days, I don't like working out, but I like being in shape. Therefore, I should be able to be in shape without working out and working out is fake behavior anyway and I'm not just some meathead.
• Most days, I don't like waking up early & sitting in front of my computer, but I like making money. Therefore, I should be able to get money without doing all that and waking up early and sitting in front of my computer is fake behavior and only sociopaths care about money and get ahead.
• I don't like applying for jobs--filling out applications & interviewing & not hearing back. The right job will be the one that contacts me.

See how ridiculous that sounds? Listen, this world does not give a fvck how you think it should be or how you think things should work or how you think things used to work in some golden past. If you are not getting what you want, then that is 100% on you, and you're free to hold out for some perfect alignment of events so that everything perfectly falls into place, but I have one life & I'm going to make the most of it & take all the necessary risks to give myself the best chance to live the best life possible.

If I were you, I'd be more afraid of never meeting the right kind of women in the first place--since you have things rationalized to take all the burden of performance, risk & rejection off of yourself--than I would be scaring her away from a little arrogance

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Since when is unwillingness to adapt to get what you want 'masculine power?'

I said I am not going to adapt myself to supposed women's behavior... the inference being just to get sex. What I really want is not sex, but sex with a beautiful, intelligent, virtuous, and worthy woman... OK, OK, with a woman with a modicum of these qualities.

The desire for a relationship is not simply reducible to sex. Sexual desire is obviously significant, but should be restrained and directed by your reason... or your greater desire. That way, you will recognize the right kind of woman when she comes along, and avoid chasing after the wrong kind. Simple morals and common sense 101.

A lot of this stuff is about bettering yourself, which has to be more than maximizing the outcomes of an over-inflated libido... this often has the opposite effect to self-improvement. All things in moderation as they say.

 

[fastlife]

I said I am not going to adapt myself to supposed women's behavior... the inference being just to get sex. What I really want is not sex, but sex with a beautiful, intelligent, virtuous, and worthy woman... OK, OK, with a woman with a modicum of these qualities.

The desire for a relationship is not simply reducible to sex. Sexual desire is obviously significant, but should be restrained and directed by your reason... or your greater desire. That way, you will recognize the right kind of woman when she comes along, and avoid chasing after the wrong kind. Simple morals and common sense 101.

A lot of this stuff is about bettering yourself, which has to be more than maximizing the outcomes of an over-inflated libido... this often has the opposite effect to self-improvement. All things in moderation as they say.

The desire for a relationship is a desire for a fiction--the idea never lives up to the actuality. Sex is tangible. The narrative we build up around that is not.

That's not to say you can't have a relationship or have a good one--or that you can't or shouldn't desire a relationship or companionship or whatever--BUT it has to be rooted in actuality. And if that idealized relationship doesn't exist in the real world in the current moment, are you going to let that potentiality prevent you from capitulating on the opportunities for real life, tangible experience you do have ready access to? Do you think the 'right' kind of woman will just magically have the ability to accurately perceive your past or to judge that past according to the morals you project on her?

Beyond that, the 'right' or 'wrong' kind of woman is totally context-dependent--the same way, sometimes a hammer is the 'right' tool for the job & other times a screw driver is the 'right' tool. Just cause a hammer isn't the 'wrong' tool for a job that requires a screw driver doesn't diminish its usefulness in other contexts. Better not to place false constraints on the tools you have access to.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The desire for a relationship is a desire for a fiction--the idea never lives up to the actuality. Sex is tangible. The narrative we build up around that is not.
.

Sure, but I can go on the critical offensive here, and say that it is this exact dichotomy between fact and fiction that is the problem. The problem being it is an ideological construct. This is my point about a previous 'romantic' worldview - in that world, we essentially create/ make ourselves from the material/ factual world surrounding us. It's a process of becoming and, dare I say it, idealization. The spirit of some of this is kept alive in the contemporary idea of self-development we have today. Of course, self-development is perhaps the Achilles heel of all 'pick up' as it creates a tension between wanting to get better at sleeping with women in general, and simply wanting to become a better person.

That's not to say you can't have a relationship or have a good one--or that you can't or shouldn't desire a relationship or companionship or whatever--BUT it has to be rooted in actuality. And if that idealized relationship doesn't exist in the real world in the current moment, are you going to let that potentiality prevent you from capitulating on the opportunities for real life, tangible experience you do have ready access to? Do you think the 'right' kind of woman will just magically have the ability to accurately perceive your past or to judge that past according to the morals you project on her?

I agree with most of this. There has to be a very strong relationship or 'dialectic' between the ideal and the real in a life that is both becoming and becoming. The pragmatic element is very much first and foremost before your mind, even as you seek to shape those elements. The equal and opposite error of a 'Realism' is a Puritanism, or a complete Romanticism, that retreats from the reality of the world [all Capitalized as they are all equally ideological products of the Head].

Beyond that, the 'right' or 'wrong' kind of woman is totally context-dependent--the same way, sometimes a hammer is the 'right' tool for the job & other times a screw driver is the 'right' tool. Just cause a hammer isn't the 'wrong' tool for a job that requires a screw driver doesn't diminish its usefulness in other contexts. Better not to place false constraints on the tools you have access to

Can agree with this also. we should always have in mind the 'right' and 'wrong' kind of woman... as some of the threads here attest to only too well..

 

[BeExcellent]

Bump.

This is a great thread.

 

[Spaz]

Bump.

This is a great thread.

Yes it is.

And it's in direct conflict with ur narrative that older women such as urself is of high value.

Nature doesn't favor older women.

 

[fastlife]

Yes it is.

And it's in direct conflict with ur narrative that older women such as urself is of high value.

Nature doesn't favor older women.

Lol. Older women have daughters bro

But real talk, this is exactly the kind of mindset--and I've been guilty of it too--that keeps you trapped: an absolute value judgment that protects your ego. If a woman reject you, and all older women lose all of their value, then that rejection doesn't matter. And biologically & societally, etc., women do lose some of their value over time. But it doesn't really change anything on your end. It won't make their rejection when they're younger any less of a rejection. It won't make her suddenly realize what a great guy she missed out on. In fact, she'll be too caught up living her life--just like everybody else--to really even care.

I think humans, at every age & from all walks of life, have as much or as little value as you can find in them. Recently, my life has put me in contact with several women who are in their 40s. Sexually, they hold no value to me whatsoever (luckily all of them are in relationships & are mature and socially calibrated enough not to take that lack of interest personally), but they are still human beings trying to live life the best way they know how. They all work hard, take care of their families, treat me well, confer value based on their life experience, and one of them did try to set me up with her daughter who's actually really hot but I didn't want to burn her or damage that relationship since I'm the kinda guy that--well, you know...lol.

BE & I have had our disagreements, but overall her heart's in the right place & she's added more value to SS than many of the male members. No need to be salty.

 

[AttackFormation]

Yes it is.

And it's in direct conflict with ur narrative that older women such as urself is of high value.

Nature doesn't favor older women.

Never got the impression she said older women have as high smv as younger women. She says her smv relative to other women her age is higher because she's got good genes (just like a man whose genes give him a square jaw or don't include going bald also has good genes) and taken care of herself, and that some men see some benefits to dating her like the fact she won't bring up having kids.

Maybe you've seen something or read something I haven't, lol

 

[AJ84]

Never got the impression she said older women have as high smv as younger women. She says her smv relative to other women her age is higher because she's got good genes (just like a man whose genes give him a square jaw or don't include going bald also has good genes) and taken care of herself, and that some men see some benefits to dating her like the fact she won't bring up having kids.

Maybe you've seen something or read something I haven't, lol

He tags her, Sazc and I to get us to engage with him so he can find ways to throw digs at us. He has troll behaviour towards us and I noticed he tries to engage a few other members the same way.
I prefer to distance myself from it now.

 

[Spaz]

Tsk. I thought there's more of you boys.

And AJ you've still bitter abt the hubby thingy. You know the one that's a beta provider and the ultimate reason u r here to compensate for.

 

[ubercat]

Spaz you're generally a great poster. But maybe try thinking of the evolutionary biology stuff as a percentage thing. 80% of women act like that 80% of the time. That leaves plenty of room for humanity in our interactions. And attacks ad hominem are past their use by. Most people are more socially attuned than that these days and see through them in a heartbeat. So look at it as you practicing a skill that is not useful.

Anyway as always I'm just some keyboard jockey on the internet so feel free to click the ignore button.

 

[Spaz]

@ubercat I'll give you the benefit of doubt, I'll digest and consider ur post.

For now my stand remains the same.

 

[ubercat]

As always I post from a place of love bro. Old men and young men all have their strengths believe me we need both onboard.

 

[Spaz]

I'll get back 2 u @ubercat , I'm still holding "internal discussions" playing out different angles in my mind, using ur post as an anchor.

 

[Spaz]

80% of women act like that 80% of the time. That leaves plenty of room for humanity in our interactions.

BE is in the 80% and acts like that not 80% of the time but 97% of the time. It's in almost all her postings.

She fails.

And attacks ad hominem are past their use by.

Wrong. I use it extensively both professionally and personally, a person's character and motives becomes relevant and legitimate grounds when there's hypocrisy.

She has continously projected a worldview of a 50 y/o high valued glorified female deity, subconsciously shaping the minds of many men who come here broken and seeking guidance with feminine narratives. The very same narratives that got them here in the 1st place.

She has consistently interspersed her postings with her "Goddess reputation" and I don't even want to speculate as to why, I'm sure it's disgustingly warped.

Plus I have serious doubts she'll be welcome for more then a week in an all female forum. And she's been here for 2 years plying her "trade craft" ?

As always I post from a place of love bro. Old men and young men all have their strengths believe me we need both onboard.

Yes that's true. I agree. However 4 an old lady plying her "wares" - I see no valid reasons to have her onboard

But I do have some measure of respect for you @ubercat and because of that I'm willing to compromise.

If BE starts posting in a similar fashion as sazc with no bullshiet thrown in, I'll stop.

Is that acceptable 2 u ?