Just broke up a few hours ago

[djthiago1]

My LTR just broke up with me, and i can't focus at all, any tips to help me clear my head and get through this fast? Should i start dating as soon as possible or take some time off?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

What's the story / deal?

 

[djthiago1]

What's the story / deal?

She gave me a ton of excuses, but its probably because i slacked off a bit, didnt go out as much, was rude to her once in a while, got a bit mushy, i still don't think it was enough for a break up cause i was an overall great boyfriend, but there you have it.

 

[djthiago1]

Read a lot of this site, use search function, go to gym a lot

If i was in the mood for research i wouldve done it to begin with, i can barelly focus on anything, i got some serious brain fog right now from anxiety and stress.

 

[corrector]

My LTR just broke up with me, and i can't focus at all, any tips to help me clear my head and get through this fast? Should i start dating as soon as possible or take some time off?

Sure, stay away from anything associated with her and try to find who you were before you started seeing her. You should feel better in about a year, but you'll eventually feel better. The worst of this is probably the first week/month, then it may hit you again a few months later this could be just a low-grade thing, as you live a year without her but have a bunch of memories with her in your mind and see other couples around or try to compare your rebound/plate to her, etc.... Maybe you'll even start getting good nostalgic memories in about 3-4 years later after everything has dissipated.

This happened to me like that. Broke-up in Dec 2012. 2013 was a sour year. Could not even visit places properly where we went out on dates and go there by myself. 2014 I married someone and and that went south, and I realized this ex-gf had even nicer memories than the woman I was married to (in contrast, I don't have any great "cinematic romantic" memories with my ex-wife). Eventually 2016 has Nostalgic memories with her and went to every place I was with her before and it was a nice feelings compared to 2013 when it was more traumatic.

 

[jaymbrs]

Unfortunately only time will help. You can't force yourself to change your mindset on a whim. LTR break ups suck especially when they're not mutual. What you need are your friends. Go out with them, even if it's for lunch or to the mall. Whatever. Anything to get you out of the house.

 

[djthiago1]

Sure, stay away from anything associated with her and try to find who you were before you started seeing her. You should feel better in about a year, but you'll eventually feel better. The worst of this is probably the first week/month, then it may hit you again a few months later this could be just a low-grade thing, as you live a year without her but have a bunch of memories with her in your mind and see other couples around or try to compare your rebound/plate to her, etc.... Maybe you'll even start getting good nostalgic memories in about 3-4 years later after everything has dissipated.

Distance is a bit hard, we go to the same university.

 

[Glassguy]

Go workout. Any chicks that have been showing flirty actions with you in the past 6 months, now is the time to hit them up. The best way to get over one is to get on top of another one.

Seriously, give yourself 2 days to mope around and then get your shyte together. Most of the time when things like this happen it ends up being a blessing as long as you dont have a victim mentality and do what you need to for self happiness.

Regardless of what she says, there is ALWAYS another dude in the picture. Women DO NOT leave a guy until she has a few more dudes lined up as most women cannot stand to be alone.

So keep that in mind. Have high self value and go find a few new ones to give a c*m bath to and you'll be fine. When you start missing her remember that she just dumped your @ss and how that felt.

 

[stovepipe]

Some will say getting on another women right away is the best way, I personally do not agree with that. If that works for you than more power to ya. Dating again right outta the gate imo isn't going to make things better even though thats probably what shes doing. She was in control, not you. Hence why she dumped you which means she isn't hurting like you are. Women tend to jump on another meat pipe right after a breakup so they dont have to deal with their emtions from the relationship. Work on yourself and let the fog clear before jumping back in the pool. A little tip..........You gotta feel it to heal it!

 

[Spaz]

Depends on how long you've been together and how many plates you had during that time.

The longer the harder. The more plates the faster.

Meaning if you guys been together more then a year then it gets harder to break the bonds but if you've been spinning plates then it's a walk in the park with some sweating...

 

[corrector]

Distance is a bit hard, we go to the same university.

Oh, you are in university? What are you worried about dude? You've got plenty of college age chicks. Just hang out at the library or student hall and make new friends. You should get a social life and make as many friends as you can and go on social groups with a good women:men ratio (i.e more women then men) and go on outings or places with them. You should be enjoying yourself and socializing not getting caught up in this stuff. You are too young for this. With me I was 36 years old when I experienced that and my social life revolved around her and her group of friends (I was more isolated before/as I am now) so the whole thing was more jarring with me. But you have a full life to live and you are in school. Don't let this bother you.

 

[djthiago1]

Go workout. Any chicks that have been showing flirty actions with you in the past 6 months, now is the time to hit them up. The best way to get over one is to get on top of another one.

Seriously, give yourself 2 days to mope around and then get your shyte together. Most of the time when things like this happen it ends up being a blessing as long as you dont have a victim mentality and do what you need to for self happiness.

Regardless of what she says, there is ALWAYS another dude in the picture. Women DO NOT leave a guy until she has a few more dudes lined up as most women cannot stand to be alone.

So keep that in mind. Have high self value and go find a few new ones to give a c*m bath to and you'll be fine. When you start missing her remember that she just dumped your @ss and how that felt.

Yeah, i don't really care if she has 100 guys really. What i really care about at the moment, is to improve myself more to avoid future problems.

Oh, you are in university? What are you worried about dude? You've got plenty of college age chicks. Just hang out at the library or student hall and make new friends. You should get a social life and make as many friends as you can and go on social groups with a good women:men ratio (i.e more women then men) and go on outings or places with them. You should be enjoying yourself and socializing not getting caught up in this stuff. You are too young for this. With me I was 36 years old when I experienced that and my social life revolved around her and her group of friends (I was more isolated before/as I am now) so the whole thing was more jarring with me. But you have a full life to live and you are in school. Don't let this bother you.

I've been through a few breakups, i know soon it won't even matter, i'm just trying to deal with the anxiousness and anger that comes with the break up.

Thank you all for the great advices. I'll try my best to keep it together.

 

[djthiago1]

You're here aren't you?

Sosuave has always been the place i fall back to, there's tons of knowledge to be shared around here, my head just isn't clear enough to go around searching for stuff on the internet.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

The best thing you can do is let her go. No matter how tempting it is, do not chase or worse beg her.

In my experience, when you leave them alone, they almost always come back; as long as you didn't fck up too badly.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Relax, it was beyond your control.

In my experience, when they have decided to branch swing they will use any excuse to break up. When they don´t want to branch swing, when you are at the top of their list, you can be a below average boyfriend and she will never break up. She will complain and nag about whatever but won´t leave the relationship.

Focus and yourself, enjoy the newfound freedom, keep improving LMS.

 

[djthiago1]

The best thing you can do is let her go. No matter how tempting it is, do not chase or worse beg her.

In my experience, when you leave them alone, they almost always come back; as long as you didn't fck up too badly.

I thought about this, but either way it wouldn't be the same, after someone brakes your trust like this, it can never be the same. I'd kill to have her back, but i know it wouldn't last.

 

[Desdinova]

Contact some friends and go out with them. It'll take a few days for the emptiness to go away. Just focus on friends, hobbies, and socializing. If you have any plates, contact them.

 

[Murk]

I took me from January until now to totally get over my ex, that’s 10 months, I’m still prob not completely over it. We were only together 11 months ffs!

It’s just time, and new distractions (other women). But just fvcking isnt going to do it, it’s when you get feelings for someone’s else your ex just gets pushed out of your mind. For me anyway.

Time heals all wounds. Don’t resort to drink and drugs like I did.

 

[Dash Riprock]

#1: First and foremost, for YOU and if you want any chance at a reconciliation down the road, don't reach out at all and go 100% NO CONTACT. The benefits are two-fold: This will get her hamster wheel spinning, yes, even if she dumped you, and help you recover.

I know how tough it can be. A really bad breakup back in 2003 is what drove me to become a better man and eventually to "fix" my game. Eventually I found Doc Love, David Deangelo, and SoSuave and the rest is history. It made ALL the difference.

You'll recover. Just don't cave in no matter what. If she reaches out, tell her not now and you need some time.

 

[corrector]

I've been through a few breakups, i know soon it won't even matter, i'm just trying to deal with the anxiousness and anger that comes with the break up.

Not all break-ups are the same. Was this girl your soulmate or something? What was special about her compared to other girls you have dated in the past? Was it some epic romantic trip or just a normal relationship (i.e. you know the type that yeah, you have someone rather than being alone).