Should I have hooked up with this girl with a bf or no?

highSpeed

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Earlier in the fall I met this really hot light skinned black woman at my gym. For a very long time she would check me out a lot and she actually ended up breaking the ice by saying hi to me when I held the door for her. We spoke and she was clearly into me and I went for her number the first time which was when she mentioned that she was seeing someone. She said she wanted to talk to me more whenever we'd see each other. Anyway, I had talked to her a couple other times and hadn't seen her for about a month until today. We talk and she mentions that she wasn't doing anything this evening, so I ask if she'd want to hang out. She then says that she has to remind me about her boyfriend but wanted to spend time with me that night and asked if I'd be comfortable with that, which I wasn't.

Should I have just set aside my morals and hooked up with her or did I do the right thing?
short answer, no. long answer, there's more to it than morals. that's potential big time drama as well. who needs drama for a lay?
 

sangheilios

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You should have done whatever you wanted to do. Its not up to anyone else to set your morality for you. Only you can do that.

Her reminding you of her boyfriend was her way of making it your fault if something happened. She could say "I kept telling him I had a boyfriend!" Even though her putting herself in that situation tells you everything you need to know about what she wanted to happen.
I had the something very similar happen at the gym last fall with this super hot big booty Dominican girl. I approached her, we talk for about 15 minutes, let her get back to her workout and the second time I see her I ask her out, which is when she tells me she was seeing someone. I tell her I'd be interested if she was single and leave. We kept talking whenever we'd see each other there and about 2 months later she asked me if I was available later that night and wanted to spend time with me. I proceed to make a move which is when she said she had to mention her boyfriend, I walked away from that, which was hard to do because her ass was incredible lol. We actually stopped talking after that, she was pretty angry with me for not following through with her.
 

Billtx49

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I had the something very similar happen at the gym last fall with this super hot big booty Dominican girl. I approached her, we talk for about 15 minutes, let her get back to her workout and the second time I see her I ask her out, which is when she tells me she was seeing someone. I tell her I'd be interested if she was single and leave. We kept talking whenever we'd see each other there and about 2 months later she asked me if I was available later that night and wanted to spend time with me. I proceed to make a move which is when she said she had to mention her boyfriend, I walked away from that, which was hard to do because her ass was incredible lol. We actually stopped talking after that, she was pretty angry with me for not following through with her.
Nothing wrong with preferring to not be a cheating enabler…
 

Pandora

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Earlier in the fall I met this really hot light skinned black woman at my gym. For a very long time she would check me out a lot and she actually ended up breaking the ice by saying hi to me when I held the door for her. We spoke and she was clearly into me and I went for her number the first time which was when she mentioned that she was seeing someone. She said she wanted to talk to me more whenever we'd see each other. Anyway, I had talked to her a couple other times and hadn't seen her for about a month until today. We talk and she mentions that she wasn't doing anything this evening, so I ask if she'd want to hang out. She then says that she has to remind me about her boyfriend but wanted to spend time with me that night and asked if I'd be comfortable with that, which I wasn't.

Should I have just set aside my morals and hooked up with her or did I do the right thing?
You will look back one day and be proud that you didn't do it. Karma or universal balance is a real thing bro. Don't give into the darkness. There were many times I could have fawked my friends gf's and I am glad I chose not to. A random guy that you don't know is a more difficult call tho. But you def got good karma for that.
 

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Pandora

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Bro if she’s a hot lightie that goes gym she ain’t fvcking around with no simp, there’s no doubt in my mind her bf would split your wig, not if, but when he finds out

I’m actually on the lookout for a hot light skin or mixed chick like this:

View attachment 1774

This sort of girl is my ideal but I can’t find them anywhere where I live. So I’m running through hordes of white and Indian women.
This chick is a 9/10 bro. Damn. Mixed race chicks are by far the hottest women. I don't know why white girls are so elevated ( no offense to white chicks, they are also very beautiful). But white dudes be mate guarding like **** when the hottest women are mixed or Latinas.
 

sangheilios

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You will look back one day and be proud that you didn't do it. Karma or universal balance is a real thing bro. Don't give into the darkness. There were many times I could have fawked my friends gf's and I am glad I chose not to. A random guy that you don't know is a more difficult call tho. But you def got good karma for that.
I have a hard time finding any single women that I'd actually be interested in, so I go a while before finding anything, so I have very long dry spells.
 

Billtx49

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I have a hard time finding any single women that I'd actually be interested in, so I go a while before finding anything, so I have very long dry spells.
Self respect beats a dry spell anytime.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Should I have just set aside my morals and hooked up with her or did I do the right thing?
A woman's LTR status, fiance, marriage, etc is of no concern to me.

I am out for #1. If she is unavailable, she must shut me down.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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This chick is a 9/10 bro. Damn. Mixed race chicks are by far the hottest women. I don't know why white girls are so elevated ( no offense to white chicks, they are also very beautiful). But white dudes be mate guarding like **** when the hottest women are mixed or Latinas.
There's hawtttt of all race and culture. White girls are hawtttt but age like **** likely due too poor lifestyle choices, diet, predisposition to bulking season, and high kill count as well as bastard children out of wedlock.
 

Pandora

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There's hawtttt of all race and culture. White girls are hawtttt but age like **** likely due too poor lifestyle choices, diet, predisposition to bulking season, and high kill count as well as bastard children out of wedlock.
I agree bro. Those are real factors that I have also noticed.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I agree bro. Those are real factors that I have also noticed.
It's normalised. Look at that Kylie. Hawt. 21. And yet a *****. Single mom. No clue who the father is.

Western women are disgusting.

I am sitting back and watching it burn. Sport smash. Troll and repeat.
 

Spaz

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I don't fvck married women, nor do I fvck taken women. I used 2 and it became sort of a sport for me but not anymore.

Nothing to do with morality here.

Been through enough to know it's not worth the drama. And it does come. I've had 1 husband begging and some boyfriends with tears in their eyes. And these men tend to go stalking at my work place, house and even my close friends.

Just not worth the drama and the ensuing reputation. Even ur male friends will see you as untrustworthy with their girlfriends or wives.

There's enough drama from single available women, I don't need extra dosage from taken women.
 

Bokanovsky

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I had the something very similar happen at the gym last fall with this super hot big booty Dominican girl. I approached her, we talk for about 15 minutes, let her get back to her workout and the second time I see her I ask her out, which is when she tells me she was seeing someone. I tell her I'd be interested if she was single and leave. We kept talking whenever we'd see each other there and about 2 months later she asked me if I was available later that night and wanted to spend time with me. I proceed to make a move which is when she said she had to mention her boyfriend, I walked away from that, which was hard to do because her ass was incredible lol. We actually stopped talking after that, she was pretty angry with me for not following through with her.
These slvts bring up their boyfriends to suppress the small traces of remorse that they feel when they are about to cheat. It's a psychological defence mechanism. As a man, you may find it difficult to comprehend, but to the female mind it makes perfect sense: if she tells you that she has a boyfriend and you still decide to proceed, it's your fault, not hers. Never mind that she invited you to hang out and actually wants you to proceed. She can rationale it later by convincing herself that she didn't really want to do it.
 

sangheilios

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These slvts bring up their boyfriends to suppress the small traces of remorse that they feel when they are about to cheat. It's a psychological defence mechanism. As a man, you may find it difficult to comprehend, but to the female mind it makes perfect sense: if she tells you that she has a boyfriend and you still decide to proceed, it's your fault, not hers. Never mind that she invited you to hang out and actually wants you to proceed. She can rationale it later by convincing herself that she didn't really want to do it.
I'm aware of that, but the reality is that many people whilst in relationships will monkey branch from one partner to a potential new one. There was a hot brunette white girl earlier in the year who'd always check me out but I ignored it because she was always there with her bf. Anyway, she ended up trying to start conversations with me, but again I didn't pursue it. I later found out through a friend of mine who knows her bf that he cheats on her regularly and that they were looking to breakup at any time. Despite this, they are still together almost a year later.
 

Bokanovsky

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I'm aware of that, but the reality is that many people whilst in relationships will monkey branch from one partner to a potential new one. There was a hot brunette white girl earlier in the year who'd always check me out but I ignored it because she was always there with her bf. Anyway, she ended up trying to start conversations with me, but again I didn't pursue it. I later found out through a friend of mine who knows her bf that he cheats on her regularly and that they were looking to breakup at any time. Despite this, they are still together almost a year later.
No sure sure how any of this contradicts what I said. She may well be looking to branch swing but she still feels a little guilty about cheating. One does not preclude the other.
 

sangheilios

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No sure sure how any of this contradicts what I said. She may well be looking to branch swing but she still feels a little guilty about cheating. One does not preclude the other.
It doesn't, what I was trying to convey is that some people don't actually leave their bf/gf until they've already got someone else as a replacement.

I agree though, they want to lessen their feelings of responsibility of the infidelity because the other person also wittingly took a part in this knowing she was taken. It's a screwed up logic, as I or any other guy in a situation like this really isn't to blame since we are not the ones in the relationship. However, if you want to get into a philosophical discussion about this then you could argue whether or not enabling behavior like this is right or wrong knowing she is in a relationship. I tend to avoid black and white, all or nothing type thinking and feel the answer is going to depend upon context.
 
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