Early dating game, how do you handle shi* tests?

[Toddz]

A question for all you kings out there.

Let's say you've been dating a chick for a month or two, everything is going great, and she's really into you (asking for exclusivity, wants to spend every free moment together, tells you she misses you, etc..)

But then, she starts shi* testing you out of nowhere. Hot and cold, delayed responses, etc.

How do you guys handle shi* tests in the early dating game?

I've ignored them and gone about my life as usual simply mirroring her IL. Part of me just wants to ghost her and pickup a new plate. Or should I ride it out and go along with the testing? I have plenty of options and can easily move on without hesitation, but I do like her and enjoy her company.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[AttackFormation]

I'm not sure I've ever dated a cluster B, but from what the guys here will tell you it sounds like you could be. Chicks don't usually lovebomb like this.

I would do extra maintenance on your psycho alarm and take a mental step back from her, if I were you, but if you like the sex there's no pressing reason to drop her yet.

 

[Glassguy]

Hot and cold, delayed responses, etc.

Those are not shyte tests. Those are signs that she is losing interest, possibly talking to other guys, etc.
You think that she is all in with you, her ACTIONS are showing otherwise. The saying is true.....judge a woman on her actions, not her words.

She can tell you that she loves you 50 times a day. It still doesnt mean that she is not happy and looking for her next potential provider.

What you do is simple. You start to pull away and see how she responds. That means that you take longer to text her back. You dont invest anymore than you already have.

You dont want to be butthurt, show frustration, etc. That will push her away even quicker. What I have found is this: Just make her a plate. No more dates. Call her and have her come over when you want sex. Thats it. She will either start submitting to you to get more or it will fizzle out.

 

[Toddz]

Yeah that's what I was thinking as well. Going to pull back and observe her actions while pursuing other options. If she continues like this much longer might just drop her all together. Don't have the time for this.

 

[jaymbrs]

I wrote this before about early dating 1-3 months.

For me, I generally see as follows:

1. Tentative feel out stage
2. Sex 2-3 times
3. Extreme honeymoon period(you might even get exclusive quickly at this stage but the following stages will still occur)
4. Noticeable withdrawal/testing your ability to be aloof and congruent plus testing her own interest in you via distance and other orbiters.
5. Comes back at high interest if you don't bite.
6. One last ditch sh1t test to coerce exclusivity.
7. Exclusivity ultimatum from her or if already exclusive she abandons her oribters OR decides she likes other option better and leaves.

A ton of this **** is new to me and I've dated a **** ton of chicks. Either game playing is at an all time high all of a sudden or IDK. I just don't recall having to jump through so many hoops before. Personally I blame social media for this phenomenon.

 

[AttackFormation]

A ton of this **** is new to me and I've dated a **** ton of chicks. Either game playing is at an all time high all of a sudden or IDK. I just don't recall having to jump through so many hoops before. Personally I blame social media for this phenomenon.

Modern transportation, social media, dating apps, birth control and social liberalism (all of which I think are positive things in of themselves) = womens' options for hot lovers and orbiters/providers have become unthinkably vast compared to the rest of human history. The game has always existed but we are playing the expansion pack today.

 

[Glassguy]

A ton of this **** is new to me and I've dated a **** ton of chicks. Either game playing is at an all time high all of a sudden or IDK. I just don't recall having to jump through so many hoops before. Personally I blame social media for this phenomenon.

I have said this many times: Both social media and OLD have given women a false complex. It has made the 5's into 8's and the 8's into 10's.
A chick that would never get hit on in the bar or out in public by a decent looking guy who has his shyte together will get glorified attention on FB and OLD (not to mention twitter, Instagram, etc).

So what does that mean for us guys that dont feed the attention wh0res? Nothing. We continue to do as we want. These 20's something chicks will soon be 30. The 30's something chicks will soon be 40 and so forth.

I have a few OLD accounts but I rarely get on them. Guess what? Its the same faces. Only the age changes. These women are washed up for the most part, will ride the c0ck carousel until it breaks down and still wonder why they were/are pump and dumps. Sure there are a few good women on there but they dont stay on there long or they get sucked into the dark abyss of being a fvck and toss. So they rake in as much free attention as they can get, it strokes their ego, the 4's feel like 7's and THAT is what gets them off.
Remember that men want sex the same way women want attention. Put it all together........

So what do we do? There are several choices. Give them attention and get frustrated when we dont get what we want out of the deal (sex) or dont feed the beast.

We can lower our standards and fvck 5's because they think they are 8's. Or we hold our standards high and continue to be selective and let them eventually be the 30 somethings that are used up and worthless.

Or we can pump and dump them and throw them off to the side. But regardless, that woman knows deep down that she is a 5. Put her in a real life setting and not a single fvcking guy would approach her.

Its sort of a double edge sword but we as men should be the ones deciding if we want to be a part of the attention wh0ring circus or not.

Jump through hoops? Fvck that. My criteria on the type of woman I will date/bang doesnt change. Let the betas clean up on those 5's that think they are 8's.

 

[Spaz]

By sh1t testing her 1st before she even starts sh1t testing you.

 

[Toddz]

I wrote this before about early dating 1-3 months.

For me, I generally see as follows:

1. Tentative feel out stage
2. Sex 2-3 times
3. Extreme honeymoon period(you might even get exclusive quickly at this stage but the following stages will still occur)
4. Noticeable withdrawal/testing your ability to be aloof and congruent plus testing her own interest in you via distance and other orbiters.
5. Comes back at high interest if you don't bite.
6. One last ditch sh1t test to coerce exclusivity.
7. Exclusivity ultimatum from her or if already exclusive she abandons her oribters OR decides she likes other option better and leaves.

Yeah which is why reacting to the pullback is the worst thing a man could do. Best thing to do is observe and mirror her IL all while pursuing other options.

 

[jaymbrs]

I have said this many times: Both social media and OLD have given women a false complex. It has made the 5's into 8's and the 8's into 10's.
A chick that would never get hit on in the bar or out in public by a decent looking guy who has his shyte together will get glorified attention on FB and OLD (not to mention twitter, Instagram, etc).

So what does that mean for us guys that dont feed the attention wh0res? Nothing. We continue to do as we want. These 20's something chicks will soon be 30. The 30's something chicks will soon be 40 and so forth.

I have a few OLD accounts but I rarely get on them. Guess what? Its the same faces. Only the age changes. These women are washed up for the most part, will ride the c0ck carousel until it breaks down and still wonder why they were/are pump and dumps. Sure there are a few good women on there but they dont stay on there long or they get sucked into the dark abyss of being a fvck and toss. So they rake in as much free attention as they can get, it strokes their ego, the 4's feel like 7's and THAT is what gets them off.
Remember that men want sex the same way women want attention. Put it all together........

So what do we do? There are several choices. Give them attention and get frustrated when we dont get what we want out of the deal (sex) or dont feed the beast.

We can lower our standards and fvck 5's because they think they are 8's. Or we hold our standards high and continue to be selective and let them eventually be the 30 somethings that are used up and worthless.

Or we can pump and dump them and throw them off to the side. But regardless, that woman knows deep down that she is a 5. Put her in a real life setting and not a single fvcking guy would approach her.

Its sort of a double edge sword but we as men should be the ones deciding if we want to be a part of the attention wh0ring circus or not.

Jump through hoops? Fvck that. My criteria on the type of woman I will date/bang doesnt change. Let the betas clean up on those 5's that think they are 8's.

Pretty much my thoughts. The safest bet for me at least is to let the woman reach out first. I'm fortunate to not be a bad looking dude but even for me, when I chase or strike first, my success rate is not very high.

And like you, I refuse to lower my standards. The only times I have done it was when I get super drunk and she blows me. Because otherwise I wouldn't be able to even get it up.

 

[jaymbrs]

It is newish but since I got in the game in 2010 it's been like this. Getting much worse with OLD and social media though.

Let me put it this way, I can only wish I could get the girls I used to get. It's a sad ****ing thing to say but those type of girls these days are on another level with their expectations. I lose my mind with the some of the behavior from some of these so-so girls. Like who the **** do you think you are? And I can't help but look at them like their crazy and walk away. I don't put up with ANY of that ****.

 

[AttackFormation]

Let me put it this way, I can only wish I could get the girls I used to get. It's a sad ****ing thing to say but those type of girls these days are on another level with their expectations. I lose my mind with the some of the behavior from some of these so-so girls. Like who the **** do you think you are? And I can't help but look at them like their crazy and walk away. I don't put up with ANY of that ****.

The game has always been skewed to women because of biology. There is naturally more men born than women, and men have a more easily activated sex drive on average because of lower selectivity.

But today it's lopsided to the point the scale is collapsing to one side.

A few years ago I ended it with a plate, I saw one other woman but ended it with her too. Then I was in a dry spell. After a while my ex plate wanted to meet up. She wanted to know how many girls I'd been with since we broke up. She then basically boasted to me that after it was over with us, she'd fvcked nearly 20 men in less than a year, including a celebrity who took her around on dates and fvcked her whenever he was on a trip to our country. She was 18-19 when this happened and this was a girl I didn't think was attractive enough for me to be in a relationship with. Who knows how many new guys she's banged since then, and she's still just 21. It could easily be 50+ before she's even 25 or even by now, it just depends on how many guys she wants to fvck.

This is why I tell guys here to stop saying that young women have "low partner counts", if they care about that today. No they fvcking don't. By the time they're even in their late teens they can have multiple dozens of partners. And when they go through so many men, and have access to all kinds of men they'd like, what's gonna happen? this is gonna go to their brain. Their brains are on a different plane even than womens' brains 50 years ago, let alone us guys' brains. It's like giving someone an overdose supply of 50 different drugs whenever they lift a finger, and many of those drugs will inject themselves into her whenever she walks outside the door in different settings. Their standard for what a drug high is will be vastly beyond what yours is. They've already got pets, vibrators, orbiters and lovers whenever they want for whatever need they could have. The only way this changes is when you also get to the point where you've seen it all sexually with dozens and dozens of women and have them on tap like they do... and that will take time in a man's life.

Until then you have to find your own contentment as a man while you're still in the dating game, beyond women.

 

[AttackFormation]

You will see it in just a year long relationship, the game outpaces your increase in SMV as a man to the point where your girlfriend who could not believe her luck in getting you is replacing you with abundance of men just like you...even at the wall. Luckily I can upgrade too but only due to enormous improvement. I feel like I get 1% on my investment and they get 10-20%

This is what guys don't get... they think if they just become higher value, she'll have stars in her eyes when he hits on her or he's with her. But these women as long as they aren't utterly repulsive no matter a guy's taste can fvck guys who are just like you or better in whatever traits characterize you whenever they want to, or at most with a bit of logistical effort to put themselves on some high status guy's radar that they like anyway because they love the chase.

The wall is overemphasized. Yes the attention women get starts to drop in their early 30s but by no means does it disappear, even OkC did a chart on that a while back. Even a 33 year old, short, frumpy, out of shape, smoking, functional alcoholic woman with no life development to show except 2 kids will get attention from men. Plenty more than a young guy to the point she too will be able to complain that the guys who contact her aren't good enough or making enough of an effort to woo her. Let alone a woman who is average or even attractive.

Bah, fvck this post lol. I wanna delete this sh!t but I'll leave it in... the game is depressing when you think about it, but that's what you've gotta do. My conclusion is the same, to the extent you can, find contentment in the reality that is and not in chasing the fiction an indulgent ego conjures up if you let it.

 

[Alvafe]

A question for all you kings out there.

Let's say you've been dating a chick for a month or two, everything is going great, and she's really into you (asking for exclusivity, wants to spend every free moment together, tells you she misses you, etc..)

But then, she starts shi* testing you out of nowhere. Hot and cold, delayed responses, etc.

How do you guys handle shi* tests in the early dating game?

I've ignored them and gone about my life as usual simply mirroring her IL. Part of me just wants to ghost her and pickup a new plate. Or should I ride it out and go along with the testing? I have plenty of options and can easily move on without hesitation, but I do like her and enjoy her company.

Any advice would be appreciated.

to keep things simple, follow your gut, don't need to ghost her, but if not exclusivity was granted nothing prevent you to look around for another plate or 2

and like other did mention judge her by her actions, words are cheap. and remember, I saw a girl posting on her facebook saying she loves her BF in some other guy bed naked.

 

[AttackFormation]

In relationships, it's so easy to detect when her ego has been blown up until she realizes you are easily replaced. That's when the fighting starts. Even I have ended relationships only once I realized I didn't have to put up with the abuse from the egomaniac gf thanks to attention from decent women.

It is depressing but have to avoid victim mentality. We still have our sexual experiences and I have slept with some very hot women thanks to this new market, just no real love or committment (for long).

- Yep haha, "down is actually their own SMV range so no shortage there". And then the next line about your ex, lmao. It's funny because you know it's true.

- That's a much more sensible take on the wall imo than the mainstream red pill idea that it's "the end" for a woman's desirability. It just tempers and modifies it somewhat.

Well that's the thing isn't it, no real love or commitment. I dunno about the future. Can't see love or commitment with a woman who is two-faced - isn't with you because she actually loves or cares about you, but keeps up the appearance of it. I'm terrified of that because of the insider information I have of my mother's 2nd marriage. But also can't get the visions of eventual romance in my head away, and she did say she was "hopelessly infatuated" with her 1st marriage my father and that's why she ignored his red flags.

Torn between the pills. I think you are too, afaik. We seem quite alike... guess we'll see how we made out in 10 years.

 

[HankHill]

Man, I was just thinking about this stuff how the wall is overemphasized. Even women in 40s who are slim and not ugly get hit on all the time. I've sat with these women who've told me stories about younger guys trying to impress them with their money, job, status to get laid thinking they're older and must be desperate...nope! they can sleep with just about anyone they desire to sleep with. Usually women are looking for more than a lay but they're still a hot commodity well past the supposed wall.

I just met this woman, one yr older than me! but cute, nice slim body, we seemed to get along well, kissed on the first date. Then we exchanged a couple of txts a day or two after the date. In her last txt she asked me a question about something generic - like how something worked. I responded, three days later not even an acknowledgement. Why? likely because her phone's getting blown up causing major ADD. What can I do even if I really liked her and thought there was more in store? nothing. That's the fvcking reality. It's a cluster fvck out there.

 

[wifehunter]

treat garbage like garbage. ..chuck her into the round bin.

 

[ubercat]

I've sidestepped my local market by focusing on immigrant girls here. But I guess if you're into blondes. that would be tough