The Single Mommy Conundrum

[Ranger]

I remember listening in The Rational Male how Tomassi talked about the insidious nature and damage the single mommy, just by default, can inflict on not only her daughters but more specifically her boys.
It seems to me that this old programming comes off in layers. It’s not a one shot deal.
“Here, read this book.”

That book gets you to start thinking and noticing things. But it’s still you &I that have to apply it.

When one layer comes off, it exposes a new layer underneath that you had no concept of despite reading the book numerous times.

All the different things were covered in the book and you remember them but our cursory understanding didn’t have depth. It still leaves the programming in you. Until that is, you can actually “see” it. Then it blows right on out and is no longer an influence.
What actually happens to a young boy when he’s raised by his mother. That feminine frame he is constantly exposed to. He is trying to survive and the only frame he can grab onto is his mother’s.

I remember reading years ago how cultures removed the young boys from their mother at an early age. It varied. But these young boys would all live together with the men. Most Native American and Canadian tribes did this.

There they would learn all the skills and most importantly, the frame of being a man. Hunting. Exploring. Scrounging around for stuff. Looking for something cool to check out. He knew women were for sex and babies. But he also knew he was responsible for resources. Men and women complimented each other.

So what would a woman’s frame look like on a man? I know how mine looked when I finally saw it. My dad launched jets off of aircraft carriers during Vietnam. The USS Oriskany. He did three tours. So my mother was the rule of the home world. So the question I asked myself, when dealing with women and game and just living with one, who or what was I defaulting to, to access knowledge about women or even how to evaluate them?

 

[AttackFormation]

Absence of father will cause psychological issues.

Separate from that, not much difference between having a well meaning but clueless nuclear family vs single mom when it comes to the reality of this generation. Cultural ghettoization. Completely different time periods.

To this day my dad criticizes me for not wifing up every girl I talk to, even when I say "she wouldnt say yes even if I asked" he can't comprehend because men are the evil users remember and all women want romantic marriage lol. "Why would she do all these things for you if she didn't want marriage?"

This level of conditioning that guys like your father have been molded to freaks me out. It's an everyday, daylight show of how easy it is for a human mind to operate in a fake reality that it strongly believes is true and can't comprehend otherwise, like in Plato's Cave.

It's a wonder your dad didn't get cleaned out... lol

 

[Ranger]

Absence of father will cause psychological issues.

Separate from that, not much difference between having a well meaning but clueless nuclear family vs single mom when it comes to the reality of this generation. Cultural ghettoization. Completely different time periods.

To this day my dad criticizes me for not wifing up every girl I talk to, even when I say "she wouldnt say yes even if I asked" he can't comprehend because men are the evil users remember and all women want romantic marriage lol. "Why would she do all these things for you if she didn't want marriage?"

How did that make him act in his marriage. My parents were together the whole time.

 

[Ranger]

Yeah my dad had anger as well. I’m thinking, when the man inside of him had enough it would come out.
I remember one day my mom screamed out “you kids are driving me crazy.”
Instantly my dad went into action and thrashed the hell out of us. All for a woman. Hell I don’t even recall what we did wrong.
The efforts he put out to appease her and try to make her happy equated to someone getting thrashed sometimes. Lol
Of course nothing works and you can’t make a woman happy by appeasement so I thing the frustration and anger would fly out when it reaches its limit.
He was fighting a loosing battle.
I can see men being driven to points of insanity. All there efforts but so little return. Hunting and searching for the magical, mystical thing he can do that will suddenly return love and happiness to him.
He was raised mostly by his MOTHER.

 

[highSpeed]

I remember listening in The Rational Male how Tomassi talked about the insidious nature and damage the single mommy, just by default, can inflict on not only her daughters but more specifically her boys.
It seems to me that this old programming comes off in layers. It’s not a one shot deal.
“Here, read this book.”

That book gets you to start thinking and noticing things. But it’s still you &I that have to apply it.

When one layer comes off, it exposes a new layer underneath that you had no concept of despite reading the book numerous times.

All the different things were covered in the book and you remember them but our cursory understanding didn’t have depth. It still leaves the programming in you. Until that is, you can actually “see” it. Then it blows right on out and is no longer an influence.
What actually happens to a young boy when he’s raised by his mother. That feminine frame he is constantly exposed to. He is trying to survive and the only frame he can grab onto is his mother’s.

I remember reading years ago how cultures removed the young boys from their mother at an early age. It varied. But these young boys would all live together with the men. Most Native American and Canadian tribes did this.

There they would learn all the skills and most importantly, the frame of being a man. Hunting. Exploring. Scrounging around for stuff. Looking for something cool to check out. He knew women were for sex and babies. But he also knew he was responsible for resources. Men and women complimented each other.

So what would a woman’s frame look like on a man? I know how mine looked when I finally saw it. My dad launched jets off of aircraft carriers during Vietnam. The USS Oriskany. He did three tours. So my mother was the rule of the home world. So the question I asked myself, when dealing with women and game and just living with one, who or what was I defaulting to, to access knowledge about women or even how to evaluate them?

I think that's pretty simple, you were defaulting to the equilibrium that your mother had set when you were a kid. If she was the only model that you had, this is how you would learn to deal with women. I think changing that mindset, since that is what you were set with, is tough.

 

[Ranger]

I think that's pretty simple, you were defaulting to the equilibrium that your mother had set when you were a kid. If she was the only model that you had, this is how you would learn to deal with women. I think changing that mindset, since that is what you were set with, is tough.

True enough. Was just wondering what it looked like from the outside looking in. You know. How one would react to things.
Like thinking women are the problems of every day life or being obsessed with them because they don’t match the ideal of mom.

 

[Spaz]

Like thinking women are the problems of every day life or being obsessed with them because they don’t match the ideal of mom.

This. And it's both working in sync.

 

[Red Legg]

I

who or what was I defaulting to, to access knowledge about women or even how to evaluate them?

If you were raised by your mom mostly then you were under a feminine frame,and it affected you in ways you didn't realize.I have been with several single moms.(as plates and LTR's) a couple have had male children who were in a complete female mindset so much so it made me sick to my stomach,they would look at me with awe and try to mimick my male traits.One would play with dolls,never come out of his room he would stay in there playing video games and would run around the house screaming in a high pitched voice like a girl.One son of a single mom I dated would use female voice fluctuation when he talked (it sent shivers down my spine)

 

[Soflobro#3]

I remember listening in The Rational Male how Tomassi talked about the insidious nature and damage the single mommy, just by default, can inflict on not only her daughters but more specifically her boys.
It seems to me that this old programming comes off in layers. It’s not a one shot deal.
“Here, read this book.”

That book gets you to start thinking and noticing things. But it’s still you &I that have to apply it.

When one layer comes off, it exposes a new layer underneath that you had no concept of despite reading the book numerous times.

All the different things were covered in the book and you remember them but our cursory understanding didn’t have depth. It still leaves the programming in you. Until that is, you can actually “see” it. Then it blows right on out and is no longer an influence.
What actually happens to a young boy when he’s raised by his mother. That feminine frame he is constantly exposed to. He is trying to survive and the only frame he can grab onto is his mother’s.

I remember reading years ago how cultures removed the young boys from their mother at an early age. It varied. But these young boys would all live together with the men. Most Native American and Canadian tribes did this.

There they would learn all the skills and most importantly, the frame of being a man. Hunting. Exploring. Scrounging around for stuff. Looking for something cool to check out. He knew women were for sex and babies. But he also knew he was responsible for resources. Men and women complimented each other.

So what would a woman’s frame look like on a man? I know how mine looked when I finally saw it. My dad launched jets off of aircraft carriers during Vietnam. The USS Oriskany. He did three tours. So my mother was the rule of the home world. So the question I asked myself, when dealing with women and game and just living with one, who or what was I defaulting to, to access knowledge about women or even how to evaluate them?

I think if your mother is very domineering it makes it much worse. I saw this with my ex and her kid, it's not good and he's going ro have issues and probably find a woman who treats him like how his mother does. She is moody and puts him down and doesn't properly discipline him. I tried to tell her.

 

[Ranger]

I

If you were raised by your mom mostly then you were under a feminine frame,and it affected you in ways you didn't realize.I have been with several single moms.(as plates and LTR's) a couple have had male children who were in a complete female mindset so much so it made me sick to my stomach,they would look at me with awe and try to mimick my male traits.One would play with dolls,never come out of his room he would stay in there playing video games and would run around the house screaming in a high pitched voice like a girl.One son of a single mom I dated would use female voice fluctuation when he talked (it sent shivers down my spine)

Oh that is enough to make the soul of a man quake.

 

[Ranger]

I remember when I first got married. When I had left the Marine Corps I had a pure masculine frame. Women were for pleasure and fun.
Then I got oneitis.
When I left the Corps I had just returned from deployment and was an offensive combat instructor teaching new corporals & seargents.
But I remember the exact moment I had switched frames. See I had the idea that the warrior frame riddled with playful play and extremes in all directions was not fit for a family man. I didn’t know where that came from.
That day I switched frames, I was walking between the barracks of 3rd Battalion 3rd Marines in Hawaii. I just flipped it like a switch.

So what did I switch to? I was thinking last night about that. It gave me a lot of trouble in my marriage for over 20 years. Self induced trouble. I had this made up version of what it was supposed to be like. Completely fabricated out of nothing. Or was it nothing? What if it was already sitting there ready to pick up?
I was a military brat so my dad was off to war a lot when I was little kid. Who’s frame did I pick up?

 

[Spaz]

You didn't switch anything. It was ur frame.

Core values (taught as a child) can't be change

+

Principle (how you think - warrior training, etc)

+

How you do things irl = Frame

 

[Spaz]

To counteract your core values, you need more principles (masculinity) to effect changes in how you do things (less beta) = Masculine Frame

 

[Ranger]

You didn't switch anything. It was ur frame.

Core values (taught as a child) can't be change

+

Principle (how you think - warrior training, etc)

+

How you do things irl = Frame

So it will always be a combination of those core values plus what I think.
Does the new principles eventually override the core values?

 

[Spaz]

The core values normally inspires ur principles but you can change those principles to affect change in how you do things = reflect ur desired frame.

All you need to do is make a choice; what frame you desire. Then work backwards - to the principles, destroy the old that was inspired by ur core values, acquire new ones that reflects ur desired frame.

Then changes in how you things will flow from that.

 

[highSpeed]

True enough. Was just wondering what it looked like from the outside looking in. You know. How one would react to things.
Like thinking women are the problems of every day life or being obsessed with them because they don’t match the ideal of mom.

That's a tough one too. Take it from a guy in a marriage that is not ideal. I don't think there is much changing women, I think you stay with them until they're not pleasing you anymore. Tougher for me to do since I have kids but you, unless you're in my situation, you should be able to walk away pretty easy. I think of training women like trying to train cats, it may be possible but why would you want to go to that kind of hassle when you can get a dog? I'm not much into training, if you don't know how to act, I'm not going to waste my time trying to tell her because most likely, whatever changes I can put in place are either temporary and most likely, she already knows she's being a pain in the a$$, she just doesn't care.

 

[Red Legg]

Oh that is enough to make the soul of a man quake.

Single moms are so twisted when it comes to their sons that they actually encourage their decent into feminine behavior.They don't care one whit if they become a flaming faggget.When I would call out their detestable actions they would always giggle and say "He can be whatever he wants" (vomit)

 

[Spaz]

So it will always be a combination of those core values plus what I think.
Does the new principles eventually override the core values?

Core values + principles + how u do things = frame.

Core values can't be change.

Principles can. It must remain fluid to reflect ur desired frame.

Those new principles will affect how you do things because it comes from within you.

Be careful. Do not copy paste "how you do things" taking pua tactics or even learning game skills. It will fail in the end. Because it's not from within and people can smell it sooner or later.

Change the principles 1st. It will override the core values.

Edit: You'll need to digest this slowly. This very equation, although seemingly simple answers many problems in a man's life.

 

[Ranger]

That's a tough one too. Take it from a guy in a marriage that is not ideal. I don't think there is much changing women, I think you stay with them until they're not pleasing you anymore. Tougher for me to do since I have kids but you, unless you're in my situation, you should be able to walk away pretty easy. I think of training women like trying to train cats, it may be possible but why would you want to go to that kind of hassle when you can get a dog? I'm not much into training, if you don't know how to act, I'm not going to waste my time trying to tell her because most likely, whatever changes I can put in place are either temporary and most likely, she already knows she's being a pain in the a$$, she just doesn't care.

Oh I get it. I have four children. I’m just thinking that if I had the right frame back then and if she wanted into my frame, that most of the problems wouldn’t even of come up. Most of those problems wouldn’t even enter that reality.

 

[Ranger]

Single moms are so twisted when it comes to their sons that they actually encourage their decent into feminine behavior.They don't care one whit if they become a flaming faggget.When I would call out their detestable actions they would always giggle and say "He can be whatever he wants" (vomit)

That’s on purpose. That’s purposely destroying the future of the boy. I have observed the same. I do not believe there is an exception. It wouldn’t take a dominating mother to do that at all. Just a mother.
She knows how to use emotions against men and boys. Including the “look what you are doing to me. “ nattering victim.
A young boy would have no defenses against a mother’s manipulations. She thinks she’s doing a bang up job. Brags on it in fact. Look how they walk around beating on their chests saying how strong and brave they are. LMAO