Strong Men Vs Weak Men.

[Chi Town]

What I've noticed of todays man is they are becoming more and more feminized, a man has to be strong, but not controlling.

Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that.

 

[Tilex]

Solid Advice!
This should be in The Hall of Excellence

 

[Blacksheep]

That's a good idea man.

I have one feedback about that.

I think the Strong male is the one that leads the way, not dominate. When you're a leader, people will follow you naturally. You don't worry if that woman are following you or not. If she chooses another way, you keep living your life, and know that will be others that will be aligned with that path.

With my experiences I learned that when you get the Mindset of dominating someone it is also weakness, it's just something to nourish our ego. Like if you need to dominate, cause you're affraid of being in a weaker position. If you are confident enough that will never be a fear, cause you will be strong enough to live by your own values and beliefs.

Maybe that dominance you explained will be more like being a leader.

And about being weak with emotions, I agree with that cause I lived that way in the past and it just make all the girls I got disliked me. It was hard, but I learned from that and it gaves me the opportunity to become strong.

Nowadays I live by my values and don't give a **** if a girl try to manipulate me to get into her frame (the **** test they all make with us), and it's like you become magnetic to girls. Each time you dont fall on that **** teste, they got more excited and the sex are ****ing awesome.

 

[Chi Town]

That's a good idea man.

I have one feedback about that.

I think the Strong male is the one that leads the way, not dominate. When you're a leader, people will follow you naturally. You don't worry if that woman are following you or not. If she chooses another way, you keep living your life, and know that will be others that will be aligned with that path.

With my experiences I learned that when you get the Mindset of dominating someone it is also weakness, it's just something to nourish our ego. Like if you need to dominate, cause you're affraid of being in a weaker position. If you are confident enough that will never be a fear, cause you will be strong enough to live by your own values and beliefs.

Maybe that dominance you explained will be more like being a leader.

And about being weak with emotions, I agree with that cause I lived that way in the past and it just make all the girls I got disliked me. It was hard, but I learned from that and it gaves me the opportunity to become strong.

Nowadays I live by my values and don't give a **** if a girl try to manipulate me to get into her frame (the **** test they all make with us), and it's like you become magnetic to girls. Each time you dont fall on that **** teste, they got more excited and the sex are ****ing awesome.

True, very good points.

 

[RangerMIke]

Strong men - Walk away from women when they don't get what they want, and start fvcking someone else. If the chick that you walked away from comes back... well then a strong man puts conditions on letting her back in.

Weak men - Try to 'do stuff' to keep a chick around, they try to emotionally manipulate her, or worst use threats and force to keep a chick in line. They do this because to them the goal is getting and keeping the chick.

Really it's all about what your end-state is, weak men have in their minds that getting 'a girl' is the goal..... strong men know that getting a girl is nothing... it's the process that is fun, and when the 'process' is not longer 'fun' you go elsewhere.

 

[Roober]

The problem stems from the misunderstanding of what it means to be dominant. You still treat women (and everyone else) with respect, but you command respect yourself. The definition of dominate drives negativity and assume some sort of dictatorship over a woman. There is so much more to dominance, but many men think that being a tyrant will make them effective.

I would compare this to a child saying 'I want to kill myself' to Express himself. He doesbt understand the meaning of the words, therefore employs it in an incorrect manner.

I would also disagree that being dominant doesn't always involve walking away. It does involve having self respect and setting boundaries, but it also includes effective communication. Often times boundaries are crossed when there are misunderstandings or even unrealistic expectations.

You have to exist in between a tyrant and a doormat. It's a difficult line to walk and many men get scared when they make a mistake, therefore end up on one of the extremes.

 

[Chi Town]

The problem stems from the misunderstanding of what it means to be dominant. You still treat women (and everyone else) with respect, but you command respect yourself. The definition of dominate drives negativity and assume some sort of dictatorship over a woman. There is so much more to dominance, but many men think that being a tyrant will make them effective.

I would compare this to a child saying 'I want to kill myself' to Express himself. He doesbt understand the meaning of the words, therefore employs it in an incorrect manner.

I would also disagree that being dominant doesn't always involve walking away. It does involve having self respect and setting boundaries, but it also includes effective communication. Often times boundaries are crossed when there are misunderstandings or even unrealistic expectations.

You have to exist in between a tyrant and a doormat. It's a difficult line to walk and many men get scared when they make a mistake, therefore end up on one of the extremes.

Good points and yeah people here the word "Dominant" and think you committed murder or something lol

 

[BeExcellent]

I think this is such a worthwhile topic. I'll give some perspective from a woman's point of view. Some various thoughts:

In the dynamic between men and women decisiveness, leadership and competence are all things that have application toward dominance. What is the player's bold assertion that "You are going home with me" if not a decisive assertion and leadership behavior. This is in seduction why the "bold move" or the "direct approach" work if you are a man for whom that tactic is CONGRUENT with your vibe, demeanor and body language...all things women read innately. Women desire a dominant man in a subconscious way. She may not realize WHY she is attracted...she just knows that she IS.

And if the next morning she finds that he is lovey dovey cooing everywhere like a puppy? The behavior is not congruent with what attracted her. *POOF* she vanishes straightaway. The man was but an imposter. Bleh.

A man who demonstrates dominance socially has many advantages. Other people look up to him, men want to be like him, women want to be with him...and a woman who has a dominant man who has chosen her feels special, secure, and able to relax into the feminine role. She is delighted to defer to him. You end up with masculine/feminine polarity and all the respect, caring, sparks, and appreciation (in both directions) that arise from that polarity.

Strong men understand that from strength derives the ability to care; to be vulnerable; to trust as a conscious choice. A strong man can choose to love even in the face of the risk of pain. He understands and undertakes the risk. He has personal courage. He does so because he chooses to do so. He is a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. He can be gentle through strength; but make no mistake he is a MAN.

Do not confuse this with personality or style or presentation. Dominant men can be reserved; they can be gregarious. What they share at the end of the day is an authenticity derived from self mastery. The make decisions and off they go in life. Come along for the ride or don't, but they are going regardless. These are men who are comfortable in their own skin. And they are judicious about who they allow in their inner circle.

Weak men? They don't behave in those ways. Many can't wrap their brains around behavior through strength at all.

 

[Chi Town]

I think this is such a worthwhile topic. I'll give some perspective from a woman's point of view. Some various thoughts:

In the dynamic between men and women decisiveness, leadership and competence are all things that have application toward dominance. What is the player's bold assertion that "You are going home with me" if not a decisive assertion and leadership behavior. This is in seduction why the "bold move" or the "direct approach" work if you are a man for whom that tactic is CONGRUENT with your vibe, demeanor and body language...all things women read innately. Women desire a dominant man in a subconscious way. She may not realize WHY she is attracted...she just knows that she IS.

And if the next morning she finds that he is lovey dovey cooing everywhere like a puppy? The behavior is not congruent with what attracted her. *POOF* she vanishes straightaway. The man was but an imposter. Bleh.

A man who demonstrates dominance socially has many advantages. Other people look up to him, men want to be like him, women want to be with him...and a woman who has a dominant man who has chosen her feels special, secure, and able to relax into the feminine role. She is delighted to defer to him. You end up with masculine/feminine polarity and all the respect, caring, sparks, and appreciation (in both directions) that arise from that polarity.

Strong men understand that from strength derives the ability to care; to be vulnerable; to trust as a conscious choice. A strong man can choose to love even in the face of the risk of pain. He understands and undertakes the risk. He has personal courage. He does so because he chooses to do so. He is a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. He can be gentle through strength; but make no mistake he is a MAN.

Do not confuse this with personality or style or presentation. Dominant men can be reserved; they can be gregarious. What they share at the end of the day is an authenticity derived from self mastery. The make decisions and off they go in life. Come along for the ride or don't, but they are going regardless. These are men who are comfortable in their own skin. And they are judicious about who they allow in their inner circle.

Weak men? They don't behave in those ways. Many can't wrap their brains around behavior through strength at all.

Excellent, you are more aware than most of these guys on here lol.

The guys who disagree are the ones who know deep down inside that they will never be this type of man.

Women often tell me "it's just something about you" or "You just got this vibe where I just know your in charge and it turns me on"

Society has demolished true masculinity to the point where men actually think it's wrong to be "Dominant" sh!t is sad smh.

 

[R.U.G.]

I agree, but a strong person can and will handle anything. He may break down, get depressed, cry, wanna give up ECT but that doesn't mean he's not strong anymore, he's strong because despite all the external pressure he keeps on pushing.

People think once you shed tears or get depressed you lose your strength, when in reality, if you do those things but still get up and continue to push forward despite the distress, pain and trauma then you are in fact strong.

As always, a man needs to dust himself off, get up and soldier on. Since the late 70's men (and boys) have been taught to be more feminine and caring; as that is what women want. Actually, they want the opposite. It goes back to the old hunter and gather and survival instinct from our lizard brain. Femininity for a man can be seen as a weakness. The absence of a male father figure in school, home and even work has done a job on Gen-X through to the current generation. We, as men, need to learn to adapt to today situations. Basically, we need a "reset" button.

 

[Chi Town]

The absence of a male father figure in school, home and even work has done a job on Gen-X .

This, or the father was there but was weak himself.

 

[Roober]

This, or the father was there but was weak himself.

I tend to agree more with this. But I also believe there are many factors that have caused the demasculination of men. And this often relegates them to submissive and passive behaviors. What's really odd is that often times, they are very good and strong in their careers. However, their interpersonal relationships really struggle.

This could be due to...

Over parenting - I just got "the coddling of the american mind", and it illustrates how kids have more time with parents now than ever, and form what I gather, the basis is that kids are losing their independence. Men dont have to be strong any more and survive. Parents dont let kids fail. Parents are there every step of the way; they are their friends, not their parent.

Single parents - the data is indisputable for how children are impacted when they have only one parent. But this really only accounts for 25% of children according to the 2016 census. Kids that come from single parents (mostly moms because single dads are rare) long for that attachment to the parent they missed. There is a big gaping hole in their hearts, which they mostly ignore, and long for attention from their partner. A man raised by a single mom will try so hard to keep his woman, for fear of being like his dad, which usually results in supplication.

Absent fathers - if you get a woman pregnant, that child is 50% yours. You should be providing at least 50% of the resources and emotional support for that child. There wouldnt be single moms without absent fathers. Sometimes they disappear completely, other times they have an affair with their job. Kid comes from a great family, but is a complete pvssy, look at his dad.

Society - this definitely plays a role, but i refuse to blame mens problems on things outside of their control. A man controls his own destiny and many men fail to realize that.
-Does society tell him to act like a pvssy? No his single mom or pathetic father did.
-Does society tell him to play videogames, watch TV, or over indulge in leisure activities? No, he just seeks more "me" time.
-Does society tell him that marrying a woman is the end game?
-Does society tell him how to lay a woman?

Society doesn't shape a man, a man shapes society.

Masculinity is getting demonized, and it truly sucks, but I cant imagine any man using that as a glass ceiling to his goals in life. And you could certainly make an argument that men need to protect themselves now, I would agree with that. Blaming society is just a lazy argument, if you consider all of the other factors. To be honest, I think a lot of it starts with men and their increasing laziness. They get a woman, then get comfortable. Every person I know that has been divorced follow the... exact... same... pattern.

 

[Mike32ct]

Being driven and being a leader - good.

Being controlling or a bully - bad

 

[Chi Town]

I tend to agree more with this. But I also believe there are many factors that have caused the demasculination of men. And this often relegates them to submissive and passive behaviors. What's really odd is that often times, they are very good and strong in their careers. However, their interpersonal relationships really struggle.

This could be due to...

Over parenting - I just got "the coddling of the american mind", and it illustrates how kids have more time with parents now than ever, and form what I gather, the basis is that kids are losing their independence. Men dont have to be strong any more and survive. Parents dont let kids fail. Parents are there every step of the way; they are their friends, not their parent.

Single parents - the data is indisputable for how children are impacted when they have only one parent. But this really only accounts for 25% of children according to the 2016 census. Kids that come from single parents (mostly moms because single dads are rare) long for that attachment to the parent they missed. There is a big gaping hole in their hearts, which they mostly ignore, and long for attention from their partner. A man raised by a single mom will try so hard to keep his woman, for fear of being like his dad, which usually results in supplication.

Absent fathers - if you get a woman pregnant, that child is 50% yours. You should be providing at least 50% of the resources and emotional support for that child. There wouldnt be single moms without absent fathers. Sometimes they disappear completely, other times they have an affair with their job. Kid comes from a great family, but is a complete pvssy, look at his dad.

Society - this definitely plays a role, but i refuse to blame mens problems on things outside of their control. A man controls his own destiny and many men fail to realize that.
-Does society tell him to act like a pvssy? No his single mom or pathetic father did.
-Does society tell him to play videogames, watch TV, or over indulge in leisure activities? No, he just seeks more "me" time.
-Does society tell him that marrying a woman is the end game?
-Does society tell him how to lay a woman?

Society doesn't shape a man, a man shapes society.

Masculinity is getting demonized, and it truly sucks, but I cant imagine any man using that as a glass ceiling to his goals in life. And you could certainly make an argument that men need to protect themselves now, I would agree with that. Blaming society is just a lazy argument, if you consider all of the other factors. To be honest, I think a lot of it starts with men and their increasing laziness. They get a woman, then get comfortable. Every person I know that has been divorced follow the... exact... same... pattern.

Nothing but truth here......

I grew up in a single parent household as most of my homeboys did(grew up in the hoods of chicago) my father has been in prison damn near my whole life, he was convicted of murder when I was still in elementary school. Luckily, my mom was a very strong and hard nosed person and use to tell me "The world is not peaches and cream and only the strong survive, the weak will parish, and I refuse to raise a weak man"

I also had a older brother who was tough as nails growing up and he had the biggest influence on me as a child. I remember when I was 12 years old my brother got shot in the shoulder (he was gangbanging) he went to the hospital, got patched up and came home changed clothes and went to a party lol, we didn't even know he got shot until he came home.

My mother was like "why didn't you call us"
His response:"I just got shot in the shoulder, it's no big deal" lol

I remember how much I admired that, I wanted to be just like him.

How one was raised and the sh!t they go through in life will also determine what type of man one will be as they grow into adults.
I have lost 2 cousins, a uncle, and 13 friends I grew up with all to gun violence. There's nothing the world can throw at me that I can't handle.

Pain builds strength, just like after you workout your going to be sore and in pain but then, you start to see results(muscle gain)

Also, some people I believe naturally are just strong, it's in there genes.

 

[Chi Town]

Being driven and being a leader - good.

Being controlling or a bully - bad

Agreed.....its A fine line.