How do I learn to dance? I don’t get it

[nicksaiz65]

If there’s one thing that’s made me lose out on girls and wrecked my confidence, it’s the fact that I can’t dance. Like to rap music. And the fact that I just look very stiff trying to do it.

But how the heck am I supposed to learn? YouTube tutorials aren’t really special. My friends do it naturally. Maybe I just watch rap music videos and copy the people dancing in it?

 

[Serenity]

Maybe it's best if you don't? I don't know how to dance, so mostly I don't or I just own the fact that I look ridiculous. Don't feel like I've lost out on much.

The fact that this non-issue is wrecking your confidence is more likely the reason you're losing out than the fact that you can't dance. Also if you want to look less stiff, give less of a fvck about looking good on the dancefloor and just flail around mindlessly like literally everyone else. It's not about dancing correctly, it's about doing it confidently particularly if you actually suck.

Maybe I'm a clown for thinking this way, but I'll never lose my confidence, lol.

 

[Tilex]

LOL!

Nobody knows how to dance these days. Trust me on this!
I grew up with breakdancing culture and was competitive against other b-boys/dancers in NYC when I lived there. That culture died and has been practically forgotten a decade ago.

So I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you.
Nobody is watching you because nobody cares. There is no competition!
Just find a girl and dance with her like you normally would at your high school homecoming dance.

 

[Mazer]

Do different types of exercises bro that increase agility. Running, tennis, any sport that loosens you up. Try taking some Latin classes.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Move the way your body wants to move before you block it logically

 

[nicksaiz65]

Move the way your body wants to move before you block it logically

I literally can't not turn my brain off unfortunately

 

[nicksaiz65]

Do different types of exercises bro that increase agility. Running, tennis, any sport that loosens you up. Try taking some Latin classes.

Yeah I'm not in the greatest shape and that is part of it. I've really thought about doing all of these tbh

 

[Infern0]

You just need to learn some basic steps and throw in some funny **** like the robot.

Nobody in the club is Michael flatley

 

[marmel75]

Dude, knowing how to dance or not knowing how to dance is not anything that should cause you to lose women. It might help you GAIN women but there are plenty of other ways to attract women other than dancing. It surely shouldn't wreck your confidence.

This just says you had no confidence to begin with and it was fake. Confidence is your internal belief in yourself and is not influenced by external factors. That's what is causing you to lose women. They see through that sh!t like a window.

 

[Mike32ct]

I literally can't not turn my brain off unfortunately

It can be done. Nobody is in their head more than me lol, but even I learned to dance pretty well.

1. Do you enjoy the type of music played at these bars and clubs (or whatever venue) you want to dance at? This is critical. Dancing sucks if you don’t like the music. It’s a joy if you like the music.

2. You absolutely need to practice alone where nobody can see or judge you. Stand in front of a mirror and play your favorite EDM, hip hop, pop or whatever you like. Turn off the filter in your head and let yourself move naturally. Have a few drinks or close your eyes if what you see is too initially cringe worthy lol. Even if it is, DON’T be discouraged. That’s normal to start out. Don’t listen to friends who claim they or somebody else “has rhythm” and you don’t.

3. Eventually it will smooth out, look more natural and become autopilot.

4. Generally use smaller movements. Don’t overdo things.

5. Don’t be flat footed. A lot of dancing is done more on the balls of your feet.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Dude, knowing how to dance or not knowing how to dance is not anything that should cause you to lose women. It might help you GAIN women but there are plenty of other ways to attract women other than dancing. It surely shouldn't wreck your confidence.

This just says you had no confidence to begin with and it was fake. Confidence is your internal belief in yourself and is not influenced by external factors. That's what is causing you to lose women. They see through that sh!t like a window.

You don’t believe in confidence comes from competence? I guess I wouldn’t say it wrecks my confidence, it’s just kind of discouraging

 

[nicksaiz65]

It can be done. Nobody is in their head more than me lol, but even I learned to dance pretty well.

1. Do you enjoy the type of music played at these bars and clubs (or whatever venue) you want to dance at? This is critical. Dancing sucks if you don’t like the music. It’s a joy if you like the music.

2. You absolutely need to practice alone where nobody can see or judge you. Stand in front of a mirror and play your favorite EDM, hip hop, pop or whatever you like. Turn off the filter in your head and let yourself move naturally. Have a few drinks or close your eyes if what you see is too initially cringe worthy lol. Even if it is, DON’T be discouraged. That’s normal to start out. Don’t listen to friends who claim they or somebody else “has rhythm” and you don’t.

3. Eventually it will smooth out, look more natural and become autopilot.

4. Generally use smaller movements. Don’t overdo things.

5. Don’t be flat footed. A lot of dancing is done more on the balls of your feet.

Yeah, dancing is most definitely a skill. It’s just like how people say you’re either good with women or you’re not, which is bullshyt. As for club rap? It’s alright, just not something I’d really listen to in my spare time. It’s absolutely huge in college though, so it’s something that you just gotta get used to

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah, dancing is most definitely a skill. It’s just like how people say you’re either good with women or you’re not, which is bullshyt.

Precisely.

As for club rap? It’s alright, just not something I’d really listen to in my spare time. It’s absolutely huge in college though, so it’s something that you just gotta get used to

If there is even one or two songs of the genre that you can tolerate, practice to those. Keep making tweaks to modify or eliminate moves that don’t look good. Before long, you will start to like what moves you see in the mirror.

 

[BeExcellent]

I really would encourage you to do as @Mike32ct suggests. Get in front of a mirror. For two reasons: to watch your body move while you feel your body move...and to get over feeling silly or self conscious. Feeling silly is what's really holding you back here.

Years ago I wanted to become a really good dancer. There was this group at a club I went to that were bad ass at 90s break beat EDM and early hip hop and house. It was mesmerizing the way these people could move. They were COOL.

I used to watch them very closely and study what they did. And then I'd dance by myself in front of a mirror until I had mimicked those moves & put it with rhythm. Very simple basic things in some cases...other moves were more complex. I would dance until the movement felt natural within my own body...and then I knew what it felt like without having to see my reflection.

After I felt like I had some moves I started hanging out in the "cool kids" area & would dance nearby. Pretty soon I was accepted as one of the cool kids too. It didn't really take that long. A few weeks, maybe a month.

We used to mimic each other's moves sometimes to poke fun at each other. Good times.

 

[Murk]

I had this same issue when I was 13/14 and started going to bday parties where people were dancing.

I mirror’d up and practiced, danced with my mother, she showed me to keep rhythm and time. If you are on beat/time even a simple two step can look good. If you can’t manage a two step you have no hope. Slowly add bits abd pieces and express yourself. Dancing is just expression.

Know when I’m out I do get complimented on my dancing and it has made club game easier. Mirror up with socks on some smooth flooring and go for it.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I literally can't not turn my brain off unfortunately

You don't have to turn your brain off

 

[devilkingx2]

You don't have to dance well unless you're being watched and nobody is watching you unless you challenge someone or stand in a circle

You just need to not be terrible, don't trip over anyone, bump into people, swing your arms and hit someone, etc. Aside from that you just need to be on the same page and doing the same dance as everyone else, for anything else you need you can just google it.

Most of the time you can copy what everyone else is doing because modern pop/rap dances aren't supposed to be complicated

 

[wifehunter]

Dancing is about having fun. If you're stickler stick in the mud, it's futility.