Why do so many people think bars/clubs are a good way of meeting women?

[Chi Town]

I'm 29

I feel like I'm wasting my life because, even though the rest of my life is completely perfect (I'm rich, have great friends and family, am good looking and healthy, etc....), I can't get my dating life started. It's so unbelievably frustrating

Dude, if your good looking you definitely can have the dating game by the BALLS! And your rich? Man you can kill it with the ladies you just need some confidence.

This is what you do, start forcing yourself to talk to women, non stop, every chance you get, you don't even have to flirt just talk to them and keep doing it until you start to notice your success with women increase.

The thing is, once a couple of girls like you and give you signs that there attracted to you(which will happen because your good looking) your confidence goes up, there's kno other way around it, this is the only way it's going to happen, once your confidence goes up the rest is history. But you have to put yourself out there in order to get some positive feedback from women, positive feedback=Confidence.

I'm a good looking guy myself, and have been getting positive feedback from women just because of my looks since I was in middle school so I know the feeling of extreme self confidence once you know your attractive to women.

Do women stare at you or sneak glances at you when your in public? These are the women you need to be talking to.

 

[Mike32ct]

I have intense fear of negative criticism/being judged

That's the biggest thing that scares me from approaching women. I feel like if I initiate something, they're going to look at me like I'm an azzhole. I can sometimes overcome that when it's a girl by herself or with 1 friend. When she is there with 10 friends, it's very very difficult

Fair enough. Plenty of guys have felt that way.

Yes, in social situations, we definitely ARE being judged, sometimes even harshly and/or unfairly. But we can’t dwell on that because it’s not productive, and you have to consider that people (who hardly know us) are making fast judgements based on little information.

And while you worry about this, some other guy who doesn’t GAF what the women think of him will approach them instead*.

*He might not necessarily approach that group of 10, but he might wait for two or three to separate and then make his move. But it’s still better than not approaching at all.

 

[bigdave17]

Dude, if your good looking you definitely can have the dating game by the BALLS! And your rich? Man you can kill it with the ladies you just need some confidence.

This is what you do, start forcing yourself to talk to women, non stop, every chance you get, you don't even have to flirt just talk to them and keep doing it until you start to notice your success with women increase.

The thing is, once a couple of girls like you and give you signs that there attracted to you(which will happen because your good looking) your confidence goes up, there's kno other way around it, this is the only way it's going to happen, once your confidence goes up the rest is history. But you have to put yourself out there in order to get some positive feedback from women, positive feedback=Confidence.

I'm a good looking guy myself, and have been getting positive feedback from women just because of my looks since I was in middle school so I know the feeling of extreme self confidence once you know your attractive to women.

Do women stare at you or sneak glances at you when your in public? These are the women you need to be talking to.

I get positive signals from women all the time, but none of them are dateable. I like ethnic women in their 20s (mostly Spanish or middle eastern) with cute faces and nice bodies. I've had multiple attractive latinas who liked me but they all had kids. I would do a white girl if she had dark features (Italian or greek)

and yes I'm good looking and rich. I live in a very wealthy suburb of Chicago. Are you near me?

 

[bigdave17]

It's great for extroverts, but horrible for introverts.
I'm an extrovert and I believe online dating is the worst way to meet women.
Meeting people online is an introverts domain.

I'm very extroverted... I make friends everywhere I go

doesn't mean I get natural dating opportunities with the women I crave

 

[bigdave17]

That's completely contrary to everything i and everyone i know have experienced.

It's very likely that you don't have a solid social circle. Or perhaps (quite likely) you are overestimating your group/s.

Whatever it is, you really need that sorted, because it's the most basic way. It's a complete doss.

Been here a year, mate. This is the same exact thread over. Thought your other thread was that you met someone and was genuinly quite happy for you, but that was the same old too.

You guys somehow think that meeting women through friends or having women show you interest means anything

they have to fit my standards (hot, dark features, curvy but fit body, mid 20s, no kids, good personality) or otherwise their existence is irrelevant to me

I have women who smile and try to get my attention everywhere I go. Means nothing as they are all 4s and 5s or just way too old (over 30)

 

[spinich]

Maybe you should join the priest hood...

 

[In2theGame]

They are absolutely horrible

The vast majority of women come to bars with a dude
The ones who are not there with a dude are usually with 10 girls in an obvious "girls night out" which they clearly don't want to bothered
maybe 5% come with just 1 friend clearly looking to meet someone but they are constantly bombarded by men 24-7 all night long. Trying to approach 1 is incredibly exhausting cause you have to fight off the angry pack of wolves trying to converge on them.

Bars/clubs are absolutely atrocious. So why do so many people think it's a good way to meet women?

I love the bar and lounge scene. I dislike clubs though. Where are you located? What is your physique like? I've been told by many Women that they found me very attractive. When I walk into a bar I can sense the looks and my best friend (wing) lets me know that this chick or that chick is lookin over at me. If you are good looking, You should have NO problem unless you feel awkward about it AND you are wealthy? Then you should have an easier time landing Women so i'm not sure where your problem is. Money is very important but with Women I question that because I was fvcking the most Women when I was completely broke.

As far as "fighting off" the pack of Wolves (Men), again, say you are good looking and if that is the case, It doesn't matter how many Men are after her, When the hot guy is in there, They will move into your "space" so that other guys take off and hope that you open up on her. Aside from all of that, If you see a Woman you find attractive, Waste time no more and approach to introduce yourself. Period. I've landed plenty of chicks from bars and lounges that were "high profession", Doctors, Bankers etc. I'm thinking it may be your location.

If Women are in a crew, Go in there and say "Excuse me, Your friend is beautiful, Whats her name" This is used to get all of them engaged a bit until you can start talking to the one you like or if you want to go straight in and to the point, tap the one you like on the shoulder and introduce yourself. Let her know what you think of her, be fvcking bold about it and play it from there.

 

[In2theGame]

there was a very cute Spanish girl last night who was exactly my type


but she was there with 10 girls, how the hell do you penetrate that group?

By going in there and introducing yourself to the group. I've done it many times with a crew as large as 16 Women lol, others were like bachelorette party get togethers or someone was having a Bday party. Use your looks to your advantage. I would sometimes open up on the less attractive ones to introduce me to the one I want so they dont c0ckblock me later. Sometimes they would highly encourage their friend to talk to me if she was shy or felt awkward.

 

[Soflobro#3]

there was a very cute Spanish girl last night who was exactly my type


but she was there with 10 girls, how the hell do you penetrate that group?

With roofies

 

[logicallefty]

I have a small field report about the bar scene, nothing huge, but on topic. I've recently taken the exclusive track again with a woman I have known for a very long time. We went out to a bar to karaoke last night. I stuck with my Diet Coke and had a blast while she got her drink on. I saw several groups of 3-4 women in groups who I think would have been approachable if I was looking to approach but I wasn't in that mode. One HB was looking at me and smiling quite a bit. After I did my first song and the GF went to the bathroom this chick started talking to me. Asked me if I was going to do another song. Because if I did, she wondered if I minded if she put my next song on FB live. And wondered if she could put my first song on FB because she had recorded it and wanted to show a few of her FB friends how awesome I sang. I told her "yes I'll do another in a bit. And sure, you can FB me, but I get 85% of the cut! ". We didn't talk long but had I been there alone I probably would have ended up leaving the bar with her. We clearly had an initial attraction for each other. And she approached me first. Then later we ran into one of my GF's exes. He was totally cool and respectful to me, no bad vibes or issues. When we left I asked her "So where had you originally met him at?" She said "XYZ Bar". So yeah, the bar scene is still out there. But one disclosure I will make here. This bar was mostly people 30 and over. I didnt see anyone in there who looked much younger than that. I saw 30 all the way to probably 70. So the young bar scene could be totally different now. I wouldn't know.

 

[bigdave17]

I love the bar and lounge scene. I dislike clubs though. Where are you located? What is your physique like? I've been told by many Women that they found me very attractive. When I walk into a bar I can sense the looks and my best friend (wing) lets me know that this chick or that chick is lookin over at me. If you are good looking, You should have NO problem unless you feel awkward about it AND you are wealthy? Then you should have an easier time landing Women so i'm not sure where your problem is. Money is very important but with Women I question that because I was fvcking the most Women when I was completely broke.

As far as "fighting off" the pack of Wolves (Men), again, say you are good looking and if that is the case, It doesn't matter how many Men are after her, When the hot guy is in there, They will move into your "space" so that other guys take off and hope that you open up on her. Aside from all of that, If you see a Woman you find attractive, Waste time no more and approach to introduce yourself. Period. I've landed plenty of chicks from bars and lounges that were "high profession", Doctors, Bankers etc. I'm thinking it may be your location.

If Women are in a crew, Go in there and say "Excuse me, Your friend is beautiful, Whats her name" This is used to get all of them engaged a bit until you can start talking to the one you like or if you want to go straight in and to the point, tap the one you like on the shoulder and introduce yourself. Let her know what you think of her, be fvcking bold about it and play it from there.

my "presentation" when I go out is impeccable

- hair is perfect, skin is perfect, etc...
- dress super super nice with everything matching properly (belt, shoes, watch). Everything super upscale
- I have an excellent physique. Big arms, very narrow waist, very wide shoulders
- my body language/posture is super confident - shoulders back, head upright, etc... not in a pretentious way but in a subtle way.
- I pull up to the bar in a 70k totally loaded luxury sports car with tinted window/big black wheels/etc... Everybody can usually tell that I'm very successful and make friends everywhere i go naturally.

the only women who give me signs of interest are way below my league or they're too old

What you recommended sounds excruciatingly awkward bro.

 

[In2theGame]

my "presentation" when I go out is impeccable

- hair is perfect, skin is perfect, etc...
- dress super super nice with everything matching properly (belt, shoes, watch). Everything super upscale
- I have an excellent physique. Big arms, very narrow waist, very wide shoulders
- my body language/posture is super confident - shoulders back, head upright, etc...

the only women who give me signs of interest are way below my league or they're too old

Then maybe it's your location and you need to hit the bigger cities.

 

[bigdave17]

Then maybe it's your location and you need to hit the bigger cities.

I live 40 minutes from Chicago dude and I go to Chicago frequently

When I go to Chicago, I have some women who show me interest but they're never anywhere close to what I want. I want the beautiful Italian or Spanish girl in the corner but I never get the opportunity with them.

 

[In2theGame]

I live 40 minutes from Chicago dude and I go to Chicago frequently

When I go to Chicago, I have some women who show me interest but they're never anywhere close to what I want. I want the beautiful Italian or Spanish girl in the corner but I never get the opportunity with them.

Then travel if possible. Come to NYC and I'm sure you will find some you want

 

[bigdave17]

Then travel if possible. Come to NYC and I'm sure you will find some you want

my sister lives there, I go there 4 times a year...but im looking to date someone who lives close to me and i have zero interest in moving. My current situation with having a ridiculously well paying job 10 minutes from me in a relatively low cost of living area is fantastic. I can't give that up under any circumstance

I make 200k near Chicago, my bro in law makes 400K in NYC. I'm way way more rich than he is

 

[spinich]

And you are way to full of yourself to the point of being a clinically significant narcissistic schizophrenic. Get help. Soon.

 

[bigdave17]

And you are way to full of yourself to the point of being a clinically significant narcissistic schizophrenic. Get help. Soon.

I really am not, I only speak this way for the purpose of these threads.

When I'm around other people in real life, I talk about whatever is interesting to them. I don't ever brag and I don't talk about myself unless it makes sense within context of the specific conversation. I go out of my way to be a great son, brother, friend, etc... Every one of my friends will tell you I'm one of the best and most loyal friends they've ever had. Trust me, I know if I spoke like this around people in real life, everybody would think I'm a complete douchebag.

I know I come across as an obsessive perfectionist but I don't do it for sh*ts and giggles. I do it because I feel that's what I need to be successful with women nowadays. I've always had this raging need to be perfect because that's what I felt was necessary to get a decent looking girl.

 

[devilkingx2]

I live in the ****ing suburbs. Bookstores are mostly soccer moms and high school and college chicks. I'm looking for 23-29 crowd

you're 29, you should know where 29 year olds hang out and what they like to do.

 

[bigdave17]

you're 29, you should know where 29 year olds hang out and what they like to do.

yea they like to hang out in Chicago and live in their 800 square foot apartments

my boring ass self likes partying in Chicago once a week but otherwise prefer the peace and quiet of the suburbs

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Shoot I go to bars and I don't even drink, just find a pool table or order a pop. Had to slow down drinking due to issues I am having. Plus I'm getting fat so I have to hit the gym. On your topic of women bringing dudes out to bars or clubs vice versa, I agree with you, but if you can gauge their relationship you can move in and assert yourself and game the chick up right in front of the dude. It carries risks, but most men are betas. Funny story this weekend I went out to this bar that usually has a lot of women, that night it was just a few chicks and most were just average at best. One dude comes up to me and was like "dude where all the b*tches at. He ended up gaming this chick that was with a dude who was obviously a beta, I thought he was gay by his mannerisms to be honest. Dude ended up hoping in their uber at the end of the night. Cheers to that guy!