FWB acting weird, but still talks to me...

[thadder]

I've been in an FWB with someone for about a month, and the sex has been fantastic.

There's been cuddling on her couch, passionate kisses and hugs before I leave, sometimes long hugs where she exhales. Tells me she loves kissing me, and loves the affection shown to her.

She's been out of a 4 year relationship where she got burned pretty bad, and cheated on, so I understand the fragility.

She's said to me that I've been nice to her and affectionate. She seems to reciprocate back. Any who, the last week or so, she's Snapchatted me a few times, views my stories (usually first story viewer) on Instagram, but is few and far with her texts. If I try to go a day without texting her, she'll generally text me. Figuring that she might be trying to ghost me, I decided to not text her yesterday until 11:30 when she texted me a photo of two people passionately kissing (pertaining to the work I do, my job is a photographer) and didn't explain further about the photo (uncertain) -- she still sends me songs to listen to randomly.

Though it seems like when I talk to her, she tends to get a bit silent, we've had some really deep and great conversations, but she seems hesitant. She's told me countless times, not to catch feelings because she won't reciprocate them back, and at times very randomly during conversations when we start to talk about similar hobbies...

Couple red flags, no sex in about 11 days (best week was 3 nights in a row with her), has stopped the provocative snapchats, doesn't reply back instantly. Considering cutting my loses on this one and bowing out or wondering if this is indeed some kind of test to see if I'll get too clingy.

 

[old_skoolr]

Maybe just ask her what's up?

She might have gotten another plate or back talking to the ex.

If she doesn't respond then cut loose

FYI for all my FWB, the more I slept with them, the less I initiated convo next time, it got to the point where they did 90% of the work after we slept together 2-3 times

Another FYI: Seeing a girl 3 days in a week is way too much unless your in a relationship.

 

[sazc]

She's a FWB and you're trying to figure out what's up? So your catching feelings for her?

FWBs are what they are. You can't control their intensity or frequency, unless you want to 'talk' about issues you think you see - and that's not a casual FWB, that's wandering into relationship territory.

Just ride it out and see what happens. FWB come and FWB go.

 

[Murk]

Yeah three 3 days 1 chick is too much, I'm assuming you're not seeing anyone else, someone was bound to catch feels like that. Maybe she found something new and shiny with less emotion, maybe she's just not ready for something serious like she said. I would leave her and look for others.

 

[Soflobro#3]

She's a FWB and you're trying to figure out what's up? So your catching feelings for her?

FWBs are what they are. You can't control their intensity or frequency, unless you want to 'talk' about issues you think you see - and that's not a casual FWB, that's wandering into relationship territory.

Just ride it out and see what happens. FWB come and FWB go.

This. Like sazc said women who have fwb situations aren't worthy of meaningful relationships.

 

[sazc]

This. Like sazc said women who have fwb situations aren't worthy of meaningful relationships.

Lol, I didn't say that, you did.

But I do think the op has caught the feels.

 

[17 shots]

She's told me countless times, not to catch feelings because she won't reciprocate them back

When a women talks to you like this, that means she knows you don't have anything else going on besides her. She can smell it on you

 

[sazc]

When a women talks to you like this, that means she knows you don't have anything else going on besides her. She can smell it on you

Or she's only in it for the physical aspect and she's not interested, or seeing, long term potential

 

[17 shots]

Or she's only in it for the physical aspect and she's not interested, or seeing, long term potential

Thats my point exactly tho, when a woman just wants the physical aspect, she doesnt want you texting her everyday and having long drawn out conversations as if you dont have any options. Fwb don't want to talk and all that extra stuff, it makes you seem annoying to them and they go cold if you can't control yourself

 

[Soflobro#3]

She was at least ethical enough to outright tell you not to catch feelings lol, she's f****** other men including her ex.

Nawalt?

 

[Soflobro#3]

Lol, I didn't say that, you did.

But I do think the op has caught the feels.

That's where you're wrong roastie

 

[sazc]

That's where you're wrong roastie

The OP hasn't caught the feels?

 

[Soflobro#3]

The OP hasn't caught the feels?

You know what i meant

 

[sazc]

You know what i meant

Actually I dont.

 

[marmel75]

Typically between 4-6 weeks is where the woman makes a decision to either continue or leave before she develops really strong attachments.

If she doesn't see this going anywhere it might be that time for you...

 

[EyeBRollin]

She's said to me that I've been nice to her and affectionate.

You're finished, sir. "Nice" is woman-ese for weak. You're the booty call because she knows she can do better.

 

[thadder]

You're finished, sir. "Nice" is woman-ese for weak. You're the booty call because she knows she can do better.

Actually this was after sex she said it, saying that men were trash but I was one of the nice ones... and we still smashed a handful of times after that.

 

[thadder]

She was at least ethical enough to outright tell you not to catch feelings lol, she's f****** other men including her ex.

Know that she’s definitely not taking to her ex because of the way he treated her, he burned her bad.

As for other guys, maybe?

For all I know it could be a test to see if I’m super clingy

She has said sex stopped with previous guys when they started to get clingy

 

[Dr.Suave]

Sounds like a plate that may or may not drop but why do you care? You should be busy with cool hobbies, improving yourself and spinning more plates.

 

[thadder]

Sounds like a plate that may or may not drop but why do you care? You should be busy with cool hobbies, improving yourself and spinning more plates.

I tend to keep an eye on things and make sure things are in check, not obsessive or clingy but rather judging things so that if it comes to it I can quietly exit/disappear/deattach.

My assumption is that this girl thought she was getting too close for comfort, I was reminded that women say and do differently. So she may say she wants hook ups only but I guarantee you from the plenty of times we’ve been together, there have been some pivotal moments where I know she feels something.

But yes I’m still going about my life and doing the things I like, playing it cool and even backing off with communication. Because two can play that game, I have no problem disappearing too, it’ll be her that’ll be missing out on the passionate kisses.

She definitely wants to find herself and claim her womanhood, freedom, and I get it, in my head 4 years doesn’t seem like a long time but I struggle with the inner desire to be adored and wanted 24/7, and I think I’ve done a decent job at it.

Now we wait and see