I took back my offer

[ItsFate451]

Went on a couple dates with a girl I met at the store. Asked her out for a third date and she told me she will be in New York for a bit but she’s down to hang out when’s she back in town.

She gets back Wednesday and contacts me on Snapchat. Saying she was on break from work and was thinking of me. I asked when she was free to get together. Below is our conversation:

Her: I’m free this Friday
Me: awesome how about we me at this place at 630?
Her: I’ll let you know. I get home around 615 and I’ll have to change clothes.
Me: that’s cool! I need more of a commitment though haha. If your not sure we can just meet another time.
Her: I’m just not sure how traffic will be and don’t want you waiting for me. We can do it another time
Me: totally understandable. Just hit me up when you’re free.
Her: ok! I just don’t want you to be mad.
Me: I had other plans. So you’re fine no worries. Take care

After that she just said “okay” with a gif with an awkward expression. The whole “I’ll let you know” made me realize she was probably ghost or cancel. I’m going NC until she reaches out.

 

[jaymbrs]

Wow serious? Are you too macho to give her a little more time to get ready? She told you when she gets home. Changing the time to 7 should've been your suggestion. One thing is standing your ground when a women messes up. Another is to be inconsiderate.

 

[Glassguy]

Her: I’ll let you know. I get home around 615 and I’ll have to change clothes.
Me: that’s cool! I need more of a commitment though haha. If your not sure we can just meet another time.
Her: I’m just not sure how traffic will be and don’t want you waiting for me. We can do it another time

You messed it up when she said she would need time to change since she gets home at 6:15 from work and you acted like an @ss and said that you needed more of a commitment.

Me: I had other plans. So you’re fine no worries. Take care

Way to finish off killing her interest.

Why would you act like this?

 

[Glassguy]

Another is to be inconsiderate.

Exactly.

The best thing about that text series is she dodged a bullet it seems.

 

[logicallefty]

I would have proposed 8pm to see if she bit at that. Then if she was still wishy washy, time to abort.

What was going on in her mind could have been to either extreme. On one hand, maybe she was being the submissive one and figuring that if you proposed 6:30pm and it didn't work for her, then she wasn't in her place to propose a new time and 'inconvenience you'. But on the other hand, you can't help but wonder what her answer would have been if Brad Pitt would have proposed meeting her at 6:30pm. Would she have acted the same? Food for thought!

 

[AJ84]

Female perspective: being inflexible and anal retentive are among the biggest turn offs for women, and that story screams that.

I would be very surprised if she ever texted him again.

 

[AJ84]

I would have proposed 8pm to see if she bit at that. Then if she was still wishy washy, time to abort.

What was going on in her mind could have been to either extreme. On one hand, maybe she was being the submissive one and figuring that if you proposed 6:30pm and it didn't work for her, then she wasn't in her place to propose a new time and 'inconvenience you'. But on the other hand, you can't help but wonder what her answer would have been if Brad Pitt would have proposed meeting her at 6:30pm. Would she have acted the same? Food for thought!

None of that changes the fact that he ( who is not a celeb) gave her 15 minutes to leave work to go home and get dressed then meet him. It’s like he didn’t even register that she said she didn’t finish work until 6:15.
I bet she was thinking to herself WTF is wrong with this guy’s head?

 

[HoneyHitter]

Yes, he overreacted. But what do you think kept her from making a counter offer to meet at 7:30?

 

[AJ84]

Maybe she read this site and learned that if a woman makes a counter offer she’s trying to control him/manipulate him/ steal his frame etc, and be nexted or demoted to a f**k buddy for counter offering because how dare she.
And with the OP’s reaction to her text, that’s probably exactly what would of happened.

 

[AJ84]

SoSuave is like your ex husband lol, so bitter

Hahaha really? The pot calling the kettle black omg.
I actually get along well with my ex.
But you know what I’m saying is true, some guys here do give that kind of advice if a girl counter offers a date, you know this.

 

[Chi Town]

Her: I’m free this Friday
Me: awesome how about we me at this place at 630?
Her: I’ll let you know. I get home around 615 and I’ll have to change clothes.
Me:Cool

That's how it should of ended, if she doesn't hit u up, that's fine, and if she does, that's fine too.

I understand why you responded that way, no big deal, you didn't do anything wrong, if something as minor as this caused her to lose interest then her interest wasn't that high too begin with.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Me: awesome how about we me at this place at 630?
Her: I’ll let you know. I get home around 615 and I’ll have to change clothes.
Me: If 7:30 or 8 makes it easier for you, we can do that. Let me know.

 

[logicallefty]

Maybe she read this site and learned that if a woman makes a counter offer she’s trying to control him/manipulate him/ steal his frame etc, and be nexted or demoted to a f**k buddy for counter offering because how dare she.
And with the OP’s reaction to her text, that’s probably exactly what would of happened.

@AJ84 I've meant to ask you before. Why are you here? Serious question. Our other regular female members @sazc and @BeExcellent actually have their place here and seem to genuinely like what we got going on and fit in with the fellas. But you? I've seen you make little nigs and jabs at the forum as whole before. I have never understood what your purpose, or your place, is here. I don't say that as an insult, I say it because I genuinely don't know.

 

[Mazer]

I cant believe some of these responses, have we learned nothing. The "I WILL LET YOU KNOW" is lukewarm interest. If she was interested she would have countered with another day or a later time, example: cant do 6:15 but 8pm sounds good. If YOU have to ask her "how about 8pm" you have already lost. Come on man!

 

[Mazer]

@AJ84 I've meant to ask you before. Why are you here? Serious question. Our other regular female members @sazc and @BeExcellent actually have their place here and seem to genuinely like what we got going on and fit in with the fellas. But you? I've seen you make little nigs and jabs at the forum as whole before. I have never understood what your purpose, or your place, is here. I don't say that as an insult, I say it because I genuinely don't know.

She has been alpha widowed and wants to know the game guys on the red pill run so it never happens again Lol J/k

 

[marmel75]

This is what happens when you lack social acuity. OP presses the nuclear button when its just a mosquito he could have brushed away then seems proud of it. Lmao. SMH

 

[Tilex]

I don't know where you live, but 4pm-7pm/Mon-Fri is still rush hour for me.
I wouldn't make plans around that time unless it was happy hour, because I know how easy it is to get stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.
At least she was being honest with you!

 

[AJ84]

I didn't mean that maliciously haha, more tongue in cheek.

Usually that advice is a lot more nuanced. I can't remember who it was but one of you ladies complained that we tell guys to dump if no sex immediately, that's was a gross oversimplification of what we say and why.

Oh sorry my bad! Yeah I was probably one of those ladies who complained about that lol.

 

[Spaz]

Her: I’m free this Friday
Me: awesome how about we me at this place at 630?
Her: I’ll let you know. I get home around 615 and I’ll have to change clothes.
Me: In that case let's meet up at 8pm, plenty of time for us both to get ready for some good times.

She'll either confirm or propose a time that's sooner - this is my normal counter, it's unlikely she flakes as she's the one who proposed going out.

Now if you go out and socialise regularly, you'll notice that both men and women constantly changes meet up time and even the day, it's normal and it's to be expected more so in the cities. It only becomes a problem when it's constant and habitual otherwise give people some leeway.

I myself have on occasions flake on dates, but I'll give a heads up of 3 hours or more. I know that women put in more effort dressing up to look good on dates and doing any last minute flake is just being disrespectful.

 

[Logic85]

Me: that’s cool! I need more of a commitment though haha. If your not sure we can just meet another time.
Her: I’m just not sure how traffic will be and don’t want you waiting for me. We can do it another time
Me: totally understandable. Just hit me up when you’re free.
Her: ok! I just don’t want you to be mad.
Me: I had other plans. So you’re fine no worries. Take care

You need more of a commitment that she changes her clothes on time?

And you all of a sudden had other plans?

Nice going, now if I was her, I would be unsure about planning anything with you, let alone talk to you.