So Yeah: I Am a Chad and Yes, Hypergamy Is Real

[meldiamond]

I guess I should be "happy" about my "status" but it's leading me to become very cynical about women. Especially married women. But (many) women in "committed" relationships are willing to cheat given the right circumstances. Actually, scratch that, the circumstances don't have to be right at all, she is just looking to cheat if a significantly hotter male shows up on the scene.

On thursday, some random filipino girl approaches me while I'm hanging out with a group of friends. She says she saw the happy hour event listed on facebook (true enough). But she was too shy to sign up. I introduce her to a couple of people and then she insists on being introduced to everyone. She follows me around, presses her tits against me. After all of the introductions and a bit of chit chat we make out briefly. She says she has to go but wants my phone number. She calls me so I have hers. She wants me contact her for the next event.

The facebook app automatically id's people who are on my contacts list. She has a long term boyfriend, lots of photos of them on vacation around the world lol. He's an average looking guy spending all of his money on their vacations. Doesn't matter. She's still scouting for chad d#ck.

On Saturday, I'm out to the sh#thole bar I swore off but wind up at out of boredom. All of the regular toads and weirdos are there. A huge contingent of college girls and recent grads show at midnight. One of them is grinding her date, but she bends down low and puts her face in front of my ****. Here we go again. I check out the action on the opposite end of the very long dance floor. No way she will follow me. Of course she does! Not 30 seconds later, she has dragged her unsuspecting cuck all the way over to my end and repeats.

There are several more variations on this situation that same night which I won't go into.

Practically speaking, holding to "principles" of monogamy reduces my opportunities enormously but I can't shake this sense of contempt I have for these women who treat their dates, boyfriends and even husbands like dirt.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

There are definitely women out there like that but fortunately it isn't all of them. They certainly stand-out to us because the behavior is so alarming.

I personally don't buy the women = hypergamy philosophy. I believe everyone, man or woman, wants to catch the best fish they can. Regardless of gender, there will be those on the extreme end who do sh*t like go to a bar with one person and leave with a different person because they perceive them to be better. But I think there are really two goals in claiming hypergamy is a female thing:

1. It softens the blow on a guy's ego when a woman jumps ship. "Can't be me right? It's just how women are wired!" Basically an excuse to avoid looking inward to see if there is something you should be improving on.
2. Believing that women always want to upgrade helps a man understand what he should and should-not do to keep a girl around he likes (don't get lazy, don't be a nice-guy, be your best self, stay in your frame, look for the sh*t tests and deal with them appropriately, etc).

Girls who do sh*t like what you described are obviously really damaged and should be avoided at all costs. I feel sorry for both them, and the guys they likely f*ck up with their games.

 

[zekko]

1. It softens the blow on a guy's ego when a woman jumps ship. "Can't be me right? It's just how women are wired!" Basically an excuse to avoid looking inward to see if there is something you should be improving on.

EVERYBODY has something they should be improving on. If you're not moving forward, you're stagnant.
Nobody is perfect, so what is the point of beating yourself up for not being perfect? No woman is perfect either.

I have reservations about the hypergamy theory myself. A lot of males are cheaters too, a LOT of them. But generally speaking, I think men take their commitments more seriously than women do. So if a man commits to a woman, there are more men who follow through on that than there are women who follow through. Women are more likely to leave what they have if they see something new and shiny.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Pic or

 

[oldmanofthesea]

@LARaiders85 You must be missing the numerous posts here (usually from newcomers) where guys are whining about women but then refusing to take advice about how they may have screwed up and could improve for next time. They would rather have an excuse as to why it isn't their fault, and then continue being an AFC by hating/blaming women for "hypergamy." It's a downward spiral.

As I mentioned, there are f*cked up women out there. It's not always the guy's fault.

You don't have to beat yourself up to look inward and realize you may need to improve something. Realizing something is wrong and that we need to do something differently is why 99% of us ended up here on this forum. A little over a year ago, I dated a girl who had some problems, but I also made some dumb mistakes of my own. Getting dumped by her really stung, but it helped me to get off my a** and figure out what I needed to do differently. I came here, I found TRP, and more. I learned what mistakes I made, how to improve myself as a man, but also learned what kind of issues she had and I learned how to spot damaged women so I can avoid them or ensure I keep things casual with them. I still make mistakes. And sometimes I meet girls who just don't end up wanting to be with me even if I feel I did everything "right." That doesn't mean it's hypergamy, and it doesn't mean I blame myself or them for anything. And sometimes I break things off with girls because I'm not that into them. That's just how dating goes.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I think you are projecting your ego, because all the men I know would MUCH rather believe they fvcked up and can correct their mistakes than to believe there is nothing they can do to effect the situation.

I can tell you from personal experience, it was much easier to believe I had screwed up physically, sexually, romantically, or financially than to find out I was dating a sociopath.

I mean are these women who left you that you beat yourself up over finding success with other men?

My exes now:

1. Foreveralone post wall
2. Psycho single mom
3. Psycho single mom
4. Adulterer and divorcee, loser
5. Sociopath foreveralone post wall

Exactly how much time should I spend blaming myself for them rejecting me again?

As far as the women who jumped ship to me, those guys did absolutely nothing wrong objectively. Lots of them were legit alpha males. The girls monkey branched to higher SMV or just more compatibility.

I fully agree. When I was still in the FOG after that cluster b nightmare I experienced in NYC I was actually feeling the opposite because by hanging on to this feeling that I could have fixed something it was, in a way, a way to still hang on to her. Once I finally realized what she was and the smoke had cleared from the fallout, that feeling of "Damn, there was literally nothing I could have done to prevent what she did" was a hard one to stomach. It was a much emptier feeling than fixating on what I could have fixed BUT it was a feeling that eventually enabled me to start fully moving on and finally being done with it.

 

[ohrein]

I personally don't buy the women = hypergamy philosophy.

It's not philosophy, it's established social science. Hypergamy isn't originally a pick up term. It's the term for the "phenomenon" of women dating across or up. Women almost universally never date down. It's cross cultural and it's the basis of female mate selection. Men will seek the hottest women, women will seek the hottest men for sex and the best providers for relationships. If they can find one man who satisfies both, her hypergamy will be satisfied. If she is ever in a state of doubt about her mate, she will be more likely to cheat or branch swing. If she is ever presented an opportunity to cheat or branch swing with a higher value mate, she will enter a battle between her agency and her hypergamy.

All women are like that is the reminder that blue pill love does not exist. No woman will love you unconditionally. If you don't believe all women are hypergamous, ask them. Ask your girlfriend if she'd still date you if you were jobless. Ask your plate if she'd keep dating you if you put on twenty pounds of fat. Ask women who have no stake in you if they've ever cheat on someone and why. I've been asking women these questions for a decade and you'd be shocked at some of the answers you'll get.

The point of confusion is in the strict binary application of hypergamy. The idea that if you make one mistake, she'll lose all attraction. Or if you're unemployed for a few months she'll have an affair and hook up with a douchebag businessman. That presentation of hypergamy is unsophisticated and wrong. But make no mistake. Every woman is capable of acting on hypergamous impulse under the right conditions. Men are capable of infidelity under the right conditions as well. Think of someone like Tiger Woods or Arnold Schwarzenegger. The difference is, women are the gatekeepers of sex and relationships and so they have a much easier time acting on hypergamy than 80% of men.

 

[meldiamond]

It's not philosophy, it's established social science. Hypergamy isn't originally a pick up term. It's the term for the "phenomenon" of women dating across or up. Women almost universally never date down. It's cross cultural and it's the basis of female mate selection. Men will seek the hottest women, women will seek the hottest men for sex and the best providers for relationships. If they can find one man who satisfies both, her hypergamy will be satisfied. If she is ever in a state of doubt about her mate, she will be more likely to cheat or branch swing. If she is ever presented an opportunity to cheat or branch swing with a higher value mate, she will enter a battle between her agency and her hypergamy.

All women are like that is the reminder that blue pill love does not exist. No woman will love you unconditionally. If you don't believe all women are hypergamous, ask them. Ask your girlfriend if she'd still date you if you were jobless. Ask your plate if she'd keep dating you if you put on twenty pounds of fat. Ask women who have no stake in you if they've ever cheat on someone and why. I've been asking women these questions for a decade and you'd be shocked at some of the answers you'll get.

The point of confusion is in the strict binary application of hypergamy. The idea that if you make one mistake, she'll lose all attraction. Or if you're unemployed for a few months she'll have an affair and hook up with a douchebag businessman. That presentation of hypergamy is unsophisticated and wrong. But make no mistake. Every woman is capable of acting on hypergamous impulse under the right conditions. Men are capable of infidelity under the right conditions as well. Think of someone like Tiger Woods or Arnold Schwarzenegger. The difference is, women are the gatekeepers of sex and relationships and so they have a much easier time acting on hypergamy than 80% of men.

I hope you guys are paying attention to what ohrein said, because he's right on the money. I bolded and underlined the most important points. He's offering a really clear definition of hypergamy.

I've often wondered, especially in the past few years, why women are so reluctant to talk to me and are fidgeting, anxious, angry and/or fearful all at the same time if they are willing to talk with me. Yet, during weekend evenings + alcohol, they will approach me for a grind, makeout, or 1:30 AM pull without the slightest hesitation.

Yet, they will talk to an old, rich guy, or some average looking schmuck for hours, telling them every detail of their life (usually after he's bought them a drink). Interestingly their body language is completely relaxed, they are carefree and they don't have any concern if or in what direction the interaction progresses (or doesn't).

If women do approach and talk, they aren't interested in talking, only in the makeout or some other sexual escalation.

Amazingly, women who are 30+ feel entitled to BOTH an apex guy in terms of looks AND money! And I'm talking about very average looking women. Where they get this idea that they as mediocre looking women can land a 1 in 7 billion odds guy is beyond comprehension.

Women believe, rightly so, that their window of peak attractiveness is limited, so they will seek out the hottest man very quickly and attempt to escalate sexually in the blink of an eye. So yes, women want to have sex with the hottest man possible, and have a long term relationship with the most reliable provider possible.

 

[Chi Town]

As a good looking guy I can confirm. I have heard it all "fine" "sexy" "cute" "handsome" ECT since I was in middle school. I have fvcked so many girls with boyfriends/husbands I was truly fearful of ever getting a girlfriend myself lol. Good looking guys get to see the dark side of women first hand.

I been sneaking out a girls houses(boyfriend came to see his "boo" lol) since I was like 16. I have gotten *******s while there on the phone with there boyfriends, almost all of my homeboys girlfriends have tried to fvck me or hit on me at some point(I ignore it), girls will blantinly flirt with me while with there men, I have truly done and seen it all but it doesn't make me look at women any different, it is what it is.

 

[corrector]

Unless you are dealing with a Jesus-freak, and I mean a real crazy Jesus-freak hardcore that's 100% sold out to the Lord, then no other woman is safe.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

As a good looking guy I can confirm. I have heard it all "fine" "sexy" "cute" "handsome" ECT since I was in middle school. I have fvcked so many girls with boyfriends/husbands I was truly fearful of ever getting a girlfriend myself lol. Good looking guys get to see the dark side of women first hand.

I been sneaking out a girls houses(boyfriend came to see his "boo" lol) since I was like 16. I have gotten *******s while there on the phone with there boyfriends, almost all of my homeboys girlfriends have tried to fvck me or hit on me at some point(I ignore it), girls will blantinly flirt with me while with there men, I have truly done and seen it all but it doesn't make me look at women any different, it is what it is.

What up dude I'm from Chicago to, and as a good looking guy well before I started losing my hair and gained weight, but yea I agree with what you said. And I posted it on here months/years ago my friends girlfriends hit on me more than single chicks do sometimes. Had one chick I just met with her boyfriend through a friend lay on my lap after meeting them 30 minutes before. It was akward as hell. Chicago has some of the trashiest women in America lowkey. Me and my friends ran many trains, I even turned some down. They rarely use condoms either, women being passed around its a small big city. Surprised Chicago doesn't have the highest hiv rate in America

 

[sosousage]

I guess I should be "happy" about my "status" but it's leading me to become very cynical about women. Especially married women. But (many) women in "committed" relationships are willing to cheat given the right circumstances. Actually, scratch that, the circumstances don't have to be right at all, she is just looking to cheat if a significantly hotter male shows up on the scene.

On thursday, some random filipino girl approaches me while I'm hanging out with a group of friends. She says she saw the happy hour event listed on facebook (true enough). But she was too shy to sign up. I introduce her to a couple of people and then she insists on being introduced to everyone. She follows me around, presses her tits against me. After all of the introductions and a bit of chit chat we make out briefly. She says she has to go but wants my phone number. She calls me so I have hers. She wants me contact her for the next event.

The facebook app automatically id's people who are on my contacts list. She has a long term boyfriend, lots of photos of them on vacation around the world lol. He's an average looking guy spending all of his money on their vacations. Doesn't matter. She's still scouting for chad d#ck.

On Saturday, I'm out to the sh#thole bar I swore off but wind up at out of boredom. All of the regular toads and weirdos are there. A huge contingent of college girls and recent grads show at midnight. One of them is grinding her date, but she bends down low and puts her face in front of my ****. Here we go again. I check out the action on the opposite end of the very long dance floor. No way she will follow me. Of course she does! Not 30 seconds later, she has dragged her unsuspecting cuck all the way over to my end and repeats.

There are several more variations on this situation that same night which I won't go into.

Practically speaking, holding to "principles" of monogamy reduces my opportunities enormously but I can't shake this sense of contempt I have for these women who treat their dates, boyfriends and even husbands like dirt.

wow you hacked facebook app gg

 

[meldiamond]

Unless you are dealing with a Jesus-freak, and I mean a real crazy Jesus-freak hardcore that's 100% sold out to the Lord, then no other woman is safe.

I gave the parameters for when women are most likely to feel the desire to cheat: if she is young, hot and newlywed, her buyer's remorse will kick in almost immediately and she will seek out a hotter male with feverish abandon shortly before or after marriage.

Religious convictions will not stop her. Even being pregnant AND deeply religious won't stop her. I met a young, jr. pastor and his (very pregnant) wife, and just introducing myself to him, his wife started to 'sniff around' with strong interest almost immediately.

Not surprisingly, this jr. pastor now hates my guts and avoids me studiously. He knows exactly what happened in the couple of minutes I took to introduce myself.

The point is, these are hardwired biological tendencies that women feel instinctively. Only strong social penalties which have recently been completely removed held these instincts in check in the past. No longer.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yet, they will talk to an old, rich guy, or some average looking schmuck for hours, telling them every detail of their life (usually after he's bought them a drink). Interestingly their body language is completely relaxed, they are carefree and they don't have any concern if or in what direction the interaction progresses (or doesn't).

Haha. Spot on.

As an average looking guy, I can vouch for the above. Yes, women don't always flat out "reject" non-Chads right off the bat. She might even chat with such guy for about an hour. But she is only seeking free entertainment/company, and she is killing time because it's too early to go for a late night/closing time pull. She will continue to scan the room as she's chatting. By midnight, it will be, "It was nice meeting you." Then she'll leave with a Chad not too long after. I've seen this with my own eyes many times and experienced it (as recently as two weeks ago). I have no hate or bitterness towards women or Chads. This is reality, and I almost find it funny/amusing now. Viva the blackpill lol.

 

[bigdave17]

It's not philosophy, it's established social science. Hypergamy isn't originally a pick up term. It's the term for the "phenomenon" of women dating across or up. Women almost universally never date down. It's cross cultural and it's the basis of female mate selection. Men will seek the hottest women, women will seek the hottest men for sex and the best providers for relationships. If they can find one man who satisfies both, her hypergamy will be satisfied. If she is ever in a state of doubt about her mate, she will be more likely to cheat or branch swing. If she is ever presented an opportunity to cheat or branch swing with a higher value mate, she will enter a battle between her agency and her hypergamy.

All women are like that is the reminder that blue pill love does not exist. No woman will love you unconditionally. If you don't believe all women are hypergamous, ask them. Ask your girlfriend if she'd still date you if you were jobless. Ask your plate if she'd keep dating you if you put on twenty pounds of fat. Ask women who have no stake in you if they've ever cheat on someone and why. I've been asking women these questions for a decade and you'd be shocked at some of the answers you'll get.

The point of confusion is in the strict binary application of hypergamy. The idea that if you make one mistake, she'll lose all attraction. Or if you're unemployed for a few months she'll have an affair and hook up with a douchebag businessman. That presentation of hypergamy is unsophisticated and wrong. But make no mistake. Every woman is capable of acting on hypergamous impulse under the right conditions. Men are capable of infidelity under the right conditions as well. Think of someone like Tiger Woods or Arnold Schwarzenegger. The difference is, women are the gatekeepers of sex and relationships and so they have a much easier time acting on hypergamy than 80% of men.

the points you're discussing here aren't really gender specific. Would you keep dating your GF if she gained 30 lbs? No. You want unconditional love? Go find a puppy


Everything you guys ***** about here applies to men also. I know more guys cheating than women cheating. I know more hot women who have husbands who are unattractive/chubby who stick with them than good looking men with frumpy wives (although I've seen both sides)

 

[old_skoolr]

Whats a chad?

 

[AttackFormation]

The point is, these are hardwired biological tendencies that women feel instinctively. Only strong social penalties which have recently been completely removed held these instincts in check in the past. No longer.

Writers of all ages have written about the same things, there's nothing new under the sun. We just have a clearer vision of it now, because of modern transportation and communication leading to things like this forum, red pill reddits and stuff. It's not more than a couple of hundred years since we really started instituting public schooling. Give it some time and there will be a common understanding that sexually, we are hack-job mammals first (hypergamy, cheating, cuckolding, two-facedness, irrational and whimsical mate choices for child production) and humans second.

 

[bigdave17]

Whats a chad?

A tall, athletic, near perfect looking (usually white, although European looking Hispanic/Indian/Black may qualify) male

People online say it's the top 20% of men. In reality, the online idea of a Chad is probably top 0.5% of the general public. I'm prolly like a 6.5 to 7/10 and I rarely see men better looking than me by any significant margin. Most men are pretty mediocre looking in general public

 

[old_skoolr]

A tall, athletic, near perfect looking (usually white, although European looking Hispanic/Indian/Black may qualify) male

People online say it's the top 20% of men. In reality, the online idea of a Chad is probably top 0.5% of the general public. I'm prolly like a 6.5 to 7/10 and I rarely see men better looking than me by any significant margin. Most men are pretty mediocre looking in general public

Cheers dude.

These new definitions are getting dumber to me in my old age of 28.

 

[Chi Town]

What up dude I'm from Chicago to, and as a good looking guy well before I started losing my hair and gained weight, but yea I agree with what you said. And I posted it on here months/years ago my friends girlfriends hit on me more than single chicks do sometimes. Had one chick I just met with her boyfriend through a friend lay on my lap after meeting them 30 minutes before. It was akward as hell. Chicago has some of the trashiest women in America lowkey. Me and my friends ran many trains, I even turned some down. They rarely use condoms either, women being passed around its a small big city. Surprised Chicago doesn't have the highest hiv rate in America

Yooo what's up my fellow chi town brother, yeah Chicago is home to the infamous thots lol they don't give no fvcks lol, most guys I grew up with treat girls like **** lol and I only knew a handful who were simps that would cuff and fall in love with these thots lol most chi brothers don't play that **** lol......