Funny situation - matched with a friend of my plate

HankHill

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Over the weekend I got a few matches, last night started looking through them bam! first pic of this match was with one of my plates lol She said Hi in the opening message, I haven't responded to her yet. I think I'm going to pass on the match because I like my plate better but I can't help but wonder if I can still have some haha type of fun with the situation. Like either meet the new match and then mention to her hey your friend in the pic looks like someone I know. Or tell my plate hey just want you to know one of your friends is interested in me etc.
 

Spaz

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Women always want what their friends have, that includes their lovers, boyfriends or husbands, handbags, houses, car etc.

It's just their nature.

I find nothing wrong with you communicating with her and see where it leads, if she's more fun then it's all good but if it's not then just have a good laugh and move on.
 

sazc

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If the "relationship" with you and your plate is solid, I'd leave it all alone. Otherwise you risk losing your plate
 

HankHill

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Well I did tell my plate and turns out they're no longer friends...in fact, she gave me a bunch of dirt on the match saying I should steer clear, she's a wacko and turns out she lied about her age by almost 10yrs on OLD lol.

Unfortunately, the plate is also going bye-bye as of last night because after 8 dates (last 3 at my place where she left past midnight) she still doesn't want to get too physical. Making out, cuddling etc is all she wants to do, anything beyond that she pulls away. However, last night when she left saying 'ok I should get going' I was surprised...because we hadn't even made out yet this time like the last two times. So this morning I told her I don't think she's ready for a romantic relationship. No response. I think that'll be the end of that. Too bad because I was starting to really like her due to lots of common interests, maturity level etc. Oh well...next.
 

Spaz

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Hate to be the bearer of bad news but...

She's not a plate.

U hv been friend zoned and she's just giving you some pity kisses and cuddling, if you've been a great "friend" to her she might hv even given you a pity fvck.

Your problem is that u r Mr. Nice guy...
 

HankHill

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Hate to be the bearer of bad news but...

She's not a plate.

U hv been friend zoned and she's just giving you some pity kisses and cuddling, if you've been a great "friend" to her she might hv even given you a pity fvck.

Your problem is that u r Mr. Nice guy...
Women act how they act for countless reasons, it just doesn't matter and it's not always about what you did or didn't do.
 

Spaz

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Women act how they act for countless reasons, it just doesn't matter and it's not always about what you did or didn't do.
Women, men and child act for countless reasons.

Even my dogs.

But they all act within the boundaries I set or they get dismissed.
 

HankHill

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Women, men and child act for countless reasons.

Even my dogs.

But they all act within the boundaries I set or they get dismissed.
Agreed, you can't control other people's behavior. You can only set boundaries for how much you're willing to deal with it. Hence why I called her out on it once my threshold was reached and it's done now.
 
R

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I think she’s good to go. Lol
She will most definitely keep it under the lid.
 

HankHill

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I think she’s good to go. Lol
She will most definitely keep it under the lid.
lol. May be I should replace her with the said match...but looks wise it's like at least 2 steps down.
 

ItsFate451

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Hate to be the bearer of bad news but...

She's not a plate.

U hv been friend zoned and she's just giving you some pity kisses and cuddling, if you've been a great "friend" to her she might hv even given you a pity fvck.

Your problem is that u r Mr. Nice guy...

I agree. She is not a plate at all. You haven’t even slept with her yet and 8 dates is way too long. I would’ve left after 3 dates if she didn’t want to get physical. She’s using you for attention and emotional support. And some other guy is probably tearing her walls.
 

HankHill

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I agree. She is not a plate at all. You haven’t even slept with her yet and 8 dates is way too long. I would’ve left after 3 dates if she didn’t want to get physical. She’s using you for attention and emotional support. And some other guy is probably tearing her walls.
A plate to me is anyone nonexclusive in your pipeline of more than one, but to each his own.

As for her, she told me from date #2 that it takes her a while to get comfortable enough with someone to have a physical relationship with. One of my ex gfs also was the same way, it was frustrating but in her case date #9 was the silver bullet and then we had a 6mo relationship which I broke off. This one's been pretty open about things, admitted that the last time she had sex was 6-mos ago (not that it's any of my business since we're not exclusive) but she just needs time. Which I was obviously willing to give until now and that was that. The previous time we made out after lots of tongue action she started rubbing against my junk so I grabbed her boobs and she started moaning. Then suddenly she stopped and sat up saying 'sh*t, we should just make out every Tue'. So I was hoping things would only escalate from there but this time she didn't want anything at all other than cuddling up, letting me stroke her hair, peck kisses and that's it. A few weeks ago I got a text from her that read: "Hi, this is her friend [some-name] and I really hope to meet you someday!" then she gets on saying 'sorry I'm just having drinks with two of my best friends and she took the phone and texted you'. So I know she told them about me and positive stuff for her friend to do that.

I have to admit though, I'm feeling a bit of sadness because I really liked her but the fact that she hasn't responded at all is helping me realize that I made the right call because it was obviously one sided.
 
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