Natural Alpha friend constantly annoying me with advice

[Juan from Austria]

Hi everybody,
let me tell you the issue on my situation with my Alpha-friend but first lets take a look at our situations.

I have quite a good friend from Serbia, we both live in Austria (A country very similar to Germany), we know each other since school and now we are both in our 40´s. He is from destiny gifted to be a natural alpha right from the beginning: He was borne in a environment were pretty much all his relevant role models like his father or other male family members were alphas too that never had any problem in getting women/sex. On top of that he is tall, quite good looking (In the eyes of the women), has a more than average intelligence, dress well and has very good game. Now after sleeping with many women he is pretty much happily married with a "good girl" with a lower SMV than him and has two children. Of course he still keeps banging other women from time to time, because do to his Serbian culture the wife is for housekeeping and children and mostly NOT for sex, the sex is reserved for the lovers that every "successful man" should have besides of his wife.

On the other hand I am the son of a single mother that was a gold digger and overall very exploitative to the men she has been together. I only remember only one case where I really think that she loved the man she was with. Of course because of that I have been brainwashed with a "be a good gentleman"-Beta mindset that I am at the moment working on to get rid off entirely (At the moment I am reading The Rationale Male by Rollo Tomassi) but in other aspects of my life I was quite alpha (Former professional soldier and martial artist). When it comes to success with women I am pretty lower average and nowhere at the level of my friend. I have been dating with women and had 4 longer term relationships from my 17´s up to my mid 20´s and had all the awful experiences Beta-men usually have with women (Tons of rejections of all types, bad sex, bitchy behavior, friendzone, etc,...) but two things did I get right: I didn´t marry and I didn´t get any woman pregnant. Once I was at my mid-late 20´s I had enough of all this and went some sort of MGTOW ( I didn´t know that term back then) and started to only care about myself, my development and my happiness, and I wouldn´t care at all about women unless I am meeting my dream woman who of course never showed up in my life. Now I am 40 still leaving my "unconscious MGTOW"-life, still don´t caring about women and overall I am quite happy with my life, specially when I met men in bad marriages or divorced that are envious of my situation. I have my **** together, my income is in the upper 30% of my country, don´t have any debts, I successfully earn additional money through stocks trading and I am getting wealthier with every day that comes by. Overall I only have two obligations in my life: Going to work and pay my bills, that´s all. The rest is all leisure and improving myself and my life standard.

I am definitely not a woman hater but after all I have seen and being through I don´t find women (unless she is a special one) interesting or attractive at all for a relationship, other then that I have a very good and funny relationship with women in my workplace (Two of them are after me) and life in general. Of course I have noticed that since my 30´s I am much more attractive to women and although I am interested in having a "good relationship" with a at least "acceptable woman", I am unable to motivate myself to get into the playing field again, specially now with 30+ women and all that comes with it (Baby rabies, settling down, marriage, slingback effect, single mothers, etc,...). Dating is not even in my "To do-List" and I would prefer to do anything else instead of online dating (Yes, I have tried that too, including the expensive ones) or going to a bar and have psychological warfare (=Applying game and overcoming **** tests) with a woman that has been partially or totally corrupted by feminism. I know that part of this is maybe a buffer but even then I am not excited at all about the expected "reward" I get from overcoming the buffer and playing the game.

Now that you know our situations about me and my Serbian Friend, here is the issue:
According to the Serbian cultural standards of my friend he adheres to, I should have been banging a lot of women and now with 40 have settled down, being married and have children. So in his mind and standard I am a total loser and because I am his friend he wants "to save" me. So he is since a few years pushing me all the time to get women, get married and children. All the time is he giving me advice about flirting, "being spontaneous" and all that.

The problem I have is that he is totally unable to relate or empathize to my situation, he has never being a beta with any woman and all of his successes far out weights any failures he might have had with women. Because of that he has no clue about the problems most men have with dating/marriage nowadays, he also doesn´t know anything about MGTOW/RedPill and if I tell him that than it is all BS that has nothing to do with "real life". I have tried multiples times to explain him my situation and that do to my experiences and the overall situation I am not really interested in women but he doesn´t understand it and thinks I need psychological help. His ego is so big that if you don´t think like him he literally thinks that you are crazy.

Every time we meet or talk on the phone soon or later he starts talking to me about me, women and dating. After that I feel miserable and my whole day is ruined. Today has happened again and that is the reason why I am writing you. Don´t get wrong in all other aspects he is quite a good friend but when it is about my situation and women he is a real pain in the a**.

Any advice or opinion and all this?
Anything you want to ask or share?

Thanks

 

[Dingo]

So... Let me see if I got this right....

You got someone that wants to mentor you to be a better man and you reject his help ?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hi everybody,
let me tell you the issue on my situation with my Alpha-friend but first lets take a look at our situations.

I have quite a good friend from Serbia, we both live in Austria (A country very similar to Germany), we know each other since school and now we are both in our 40´s. He is from destiny gifted to be a natural alpha right from the beginning: He was borne in a environment were pretty much all his relevant role models like his father or other male family members were alphas too that never had any problem in getting women/sex. On top of that he is tall, quite good looking (In the eyes of the women), has a more than average intelligence, dress well and has very good game. Now after sleeping with many women he is pretty much happily married with a "good girl" with a lower SMV than him and has two children. Of course he still keeps banging other women from time to time, because do to his Serbian culture the wife is for housekeeping and children and mostly NOT for sex, the sex is reserved for the lovers that every "successful man" should have besides of his wife.

On the other hand I am the son of a single mother that was a gold digger and overall very exploitative to the men she has been together. I only remember only one case where I really think that she loved the man she was with. Of course because of that I have been brainwashed with a "be a good gentleman"-Beta mindset that I am at the moment working on to get rid off entirely (At the moment I am reading The Rationale Male by Rollo Tomassi) but in other aspects of my life I was quite alpha (Former professional soldier and martial artist). When it comes to success with women I am pretty lower average and nowhere at the level of my friend. I have been dating with women and had 4 longer term relationships from my 17´s up to my mid 20´s and had all the awful experiences Beta-men usually have with women (Tons of rejections of all types, bad sex, bitchy behavior, friendzone, etc,...) but two things did I get right: I didn´t marry and I didn´t get any woman pregnant. Once I was at my mid-late 20´s I had enough of all this and went some sort of MGTOW ( I didn´t know that term back then) and started to only care about myself, my development and my happiness, and I wouldn´t care at all about women unless I am meeting my dream woman who of course never showed up in my life. Now I am 40 still leaving my "unconscious MGTOW"-life, still don´t caring about women and overall I am quite happy with my life, specially when I met men in bad marriages or divorced that are envious of my situation. I have my **** together, my income is in the upper 30% of my country, don´t have any debts, I successfully earn additional money through stocks trading and I am getting wealthier with every day that comes by. Overall I only have two obligations in my life: Going to work and pay my bills, that´s all. The rest is all leisure and improving myself and my life standard.

I am definitely not a woman hater but after all I have seen and being through I don´t find women (unless she is a special one) interesting or attractive at all for a relationship, other then that I have a very good and funny relationship with women in my workplace (Two of them are after me) and life in general. Of course I have noticed that since my 30´s I am much more attractive to women and although I am interested in having a "good relationship" with a at least "acceptable woman", I am unable to motivate myself to get into the playing field again, specially now with 30+ women and all that comes with it (Baby rabies, settling down, marriage, slingback effect, single mothers, etc,...). Dating is not even in my "To do-List" and I would prefer to do anything else instead of online dating (Yes, I have tried that too, including the expensive ones) or going to a bar and have psychological warfare (=Applying game and overcoming **** tests) with a woman that has been partially or totally corrupted by feminism. I know that part of this is maybe a buffer but even then I am not excited at all about the expected "reward" I get from overcoming the buffer and playing the game.

Now that you know our situations about me and my Serbian Friend, here is the issue:
According to the Serbian cultural standards of my friend he adheres to, I should have been banging a lot of women and now with 40 have settled down, being married and have children. So in his mind and standard I am a total loser and because I am his friend he wants "to save" me. So he is since a few years pushing me all the time to get women, get married and children. All the time is he giving me advice about flirting, "being spontaneous" and all that.

The problem I have is that he is totally unable to relate or empathize to my situation, he has never being a beta with any woman and all of his successes far out weights any failures he might have had with women. Because of that he has no clue about the problems most men have with dating/marriage nowadays, he also doesn´t know anything about MGTOW/RedPill and if I tell him that than it is all BS that has nothing to do with "real life". I have tried multiples times to explain him my situation and that do to my experiences and the overall situation I am not really interested in women but he doesn´t understand it and thinks I need psychological help. His ego is so big that if you don´t think like him he literally thinks that you are crazy.

Every time we meet or talk on the phone soon or later he starts talking to me about me, women and dating. After that I feel miserable and my whole day is ruined. Today has happened again and that is the reason why I am writing you. Don´t get wrong in all other aspects he is quite a good friend but when it is about my situation and women he is a real pain in the a**.

Any advice or opinion and all this?
Anything you want to ask or share?

Thanks

Maybe he's right and your focused on the bullshyt and it's limiting your viewpoint. His success lies in his MINDSET. Try some of his ideas.

 

[unfragment]

After reading this, "Of course I have noticed that since my 30´s I am much more attractive to women and although I am interested in having a "good relationship" with a at least "acceptable woman", I am unable to motivate myself to get into the playing field again, specially now with 30+ women and all that comes with it (Baby rabies, settling down, marriage, slingback effect, single mothers, etc,...)."

you should give this friend a chance (he could be THAT guy to help motivate you into the playing field)

but you should also let him know what the situation is, so he can better understand you. It's going to be hard to make him somehow read your mind, and respond with compassion+empathy

 

[mrgoodstuff]

After reading this, "Of course I have noticed that since my 30´s I am much more attractive to women and although I am interested in having a "good relationship" with a at least "acceptable woman", I am unable to motivate myself to get into the playing field again, specially now with 30+ women and all that comes with it (Baby rabies, settling down, marriage, slingback effect, single mothers, etc,...)."

you should give this friend a chance

but you should also let him know what the situation is, so he can better understand you. It's going to be hard to make him somehow read your mind, and respond with compassion+empathy

I think this situation is like the rich man explaining the mindset required to a average or poor man who has small thinking. What he's saying might not seem Logical or rational, but it's exactly which makes the world work for him.

Let him coach you. Share his wisdom with the website.

Some of us are not fully red pill, but I'm starting to accept that even if you want a GF or wife you must first be successful with all women. Both Tyler or RSD and Player Supreme said they felt man should be successful in the game for four years and have alot of choices before choosing a GF or wife.

 

[ERB]

Have him come here to SS and spread his word

 

[Juan from Austria]

Thanks for the replies.

Well between the Serbian and me there are quite big differences in our personalities .

He is like a pu**y junkie, he bangs every pu**y that he can get and doesn´t care in any way about the woman at all. She can be a a**hole, a b*tch, average looking or at least not too ugly or whatever else there is, he will bang her and than move on. In his eyes dealing with any BS form her side is worth it in order to get to bang her, but of course there is not a lot of BS from her side because he has a very good game. To me this pu**y-junkie-mentality has always been somehow pathetic, because for him it is more then enough when a average or below average woman opens her legs, but I want more I want high quality sex with a quality woman.

I have never been a player and I was never interested in becoming it. I don´t go out to get pu**y, I go out to find a good girlfriend as closest to my ideal as possible. When we are both in a bar he goes for the easiest pu**y, I go for my best match and if she isn´t there then I go to a other bar. I never had so many girlfriends as him but with the women I have been together they are in average hotter then his ones. My prettiest girlfriend was a Bavarian Nicole Kidman alike easily above a 8.

One thing that amazes me is that somehow he has managed to live in a "bubble" that has keeping him safe, he also deals most of the time with east European women while I have to deal with Austrian women corrupted by feminism. He has absolutely no idea what is going on in the world. He knows nothing about the feminist world we are living, MGTOW, Red Pill, divorce laws and statistics and the big pain in the ass that dating has become. He doesn´t even know Tinder!! and when I try to show him the things he dismisses it as "theory" that has nothing to do with reality (=His reality), so he has no anchor point were he can relate or empathized to what the average guy of today goes through.

We also have to keep in mind that I have evolved a lot since my early 20´s. I am overall a much better version of myself and have now a much better life with a increasing wealth and without any problems at all. My game has improved a lot too over the years, so often I don´t have to do anything at all and women will already send me signals and flirt with me but I don´t play because I don´t see anything in them that is a good relationship material. I am no longer looking for marriage or having kids but I am still interested in high quality mid or long term relationship.

My Serbian friend simply can´t understand that I am burned out of all this crap and becoming Red Pill aware doesn´t help at all because it killed every last romantic ideal I had. Somehow I am convinced that if I go into the field I am going to have the same crap as when I was in my 20´s and that doesn´t inspire me at all to play. I am the hunter that hopes to find the hunting ground where there is prey worth of hunting.

 

[sosousage]

tell him he will get cucked and you dont believe in marriage

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So he's able to Target in the same places as you and have success?

 

[Juan from Austria]

So... Let me see if I got this right....

You got someone that wants to mentor you to be a better man and you reject his help ?

Well, I didn´t ask for his help and I don´t need help to get a pu**y.

I need the advice from guy that has gone through the BS that most of the guys go through and that knows were the hunting grounds with high quality prey are and knows how to hunt them. That is what I need.

 

[Juan from Austria]

So he's able to Target in the same places as you and have success?

Well, not entirely. It is like in the US I guess. Blacks are dealing with blacks, Hispanics with Hispanics and so on,
In Austria is pretty much the same Austrians deal with Austrians, Serbs with Serbs, Polish with Polish, and so on. Of course there are inter-cultural couples like in the US interracial ones but it is not the norm.

So he moves pretty much in his own culture because there are a lot of Serbs and other people from the former Yugoslavia in Austria. In my case I am a Spaniard but there are very few Spaniards at all in Austria, so mostly I deal with Austrians.

 

[Juan from Austria]

Amante Silvestre,

thanks for you opinion. Yes I agree with you. In my case I don´t date women that are in a marriage or in a long term relationship. Nasty things can happen when you do that.

Yes, I pretty much expects from me to the same stuff as he does. But this is not compatible with my personal principles and life goals.

Yes, I think you are right. Soon or later I will have to play in the field again...

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

STFU and listen and do like your friend. Do not follow western society.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Amante Silvestre,

thanks for you opinion. Yes I agree with you. In my case I don´t date women that are in a marriage or in a long term relationship. Nasty things can happen when you do that.

Yes, I pretty much expects from me to the same stuff as he does. But this is not compatible with my personal principles and life goals.

Yes, I think you are right. Soon or later I will have to play in the field again...

I don't ask nor do I care. If I know, I won't pursue but, women who have high interest level won't bother to tell you her status.

 

[Focal core]

My 20 cents

Firstly theres nothing wrong with you if u want to take your time before venturing into any relationship or being a hunter.

Secondly your friend may have a people fixer personality which is common these days due to "perfection" upbringing since childhood to fill his void.

Maybe your choice of girl is better than him which take time to find, that you overlook in his perfect lifestyle..

Enjoy your life bro and dont gave a fuvk of what people saying to the contrary.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My 20 cents

Firstly theres nothing wrong with you if u want to take your time before venturing into any relationship or being a hunter.

Secondly your friend may have a people fixer personality which is common these days due to "perfection" upbringing since childhood to fill his void.

Maybe your choice of girl is better than him which take time to find, that you overlook in his perfect lifestyle..

Enjoy your life bro and dont gave a fuvk of what people saying to the contrary.

If our forum member is having issues and wasting alot of times with games and stuff from the women's he's choosing then I'd say his friend his right. It's something about how his friend is targeting females and what he sees and avoids. He might always choose to be at least one SMV higher. I don't think he will choose to deal with the hassle you do his ego won't allow it. Even some of the feminists might be drawn into his idgaf. He might think your choices are poor and are stuck up bytches and a waste of time.

 

[Focal core]

If our forum member is having issues and wasting alot of times with games and stuff from the women's he's choosing then I'd say his friend his right. It's something about how his friend is targeting females and what he sees and avoids. He might always choose to be at least one SMV higher. I don't think he will choose to deal with the hassle you do his ego won't allow it. Even some of the feminists might be drawn into his idgaf. He might think your choices are poor and are stuck up bytches and a waste of time.

Knock yourself out mate, its just an advised..

 

[Juan from Austria]

Mrgoodstuff,

what worries my friend are 2 things:
* I am 40 and without wife and children
* I am not dating women since years (=MGTOW life).

It was back then in my early and mid 20´s were I had issues and wasted time with women and the things they do. Back then it was because of my Beta-mindset and lack of understanding how the game really works.

Since years I am only focused on my personal and life improvement and my leisure. Of course women even the quite hot ones are often flirting with me and sending me signals but I don´t play and move on, the only exception for me playing would be a woman that is sending me signals and is close to personal ideal then I would try to have together a relationship, but until today it didn´t happen.

Of course now things may change because since almost a year I have taken the Red Pill, learning The Rationale Male and now I truly understand the game and how to play.

 

[Spaz]

Thanks for the replies.

Well between the Serbian and me there are quite big differences in our personalities .

He is like a pu**y junkie, he bangs every pu**y that he can get and doesn´t care in any way about the woman at all. She can be a a**hole, a b*tch, average looking or at least not too ugly or whatever else there is, he will bang her and than move on. In his eyes dealing with any BS form her side is worth it in order to get to bang her, but of course there is not a lot of BS from her side because he has a very good game. To me this pu**y-junkie-mentality has always been somehow pathetic, because for him it is more then enough when a average or below average woman opens her legs, but I want more I want high quality sex with a quality woman.

I have never been a player and I was never interested in becoming it. I don´t go out to get pu**y, I go out to find a good girlfriend as closest to my ideal as possible. When we are both in a bar he goes for the easiest pu**y, I go for my best match and if she isn´t there then I go to a other bar. I never had so many girlfriends as him but with the women I have been together they are in average hotter then his ones. My prettiest girlfriend was a Bavarian Nicole Kidman alike easily above a 8.

One thing that amazes me is that somehow he has managed to live in a "bubble" that has keeping him safe, he also deals most of the time with east European women while I have to deal with Austrian women corrupted by feminism. He has absolutely no idea what is going on in the world. He knows nothing about the feminist world we are living, MGTOW, Red Pill, divorce laws and statistics and the big pain in the ass that dating has become. He doesn´t even know Tinder!! and when I try to show him the things he dismisses it as "theory" that has nothing to do with reality (=His reality), so he has no anchor point were he can relate or empathized to what the average guy of today goes through.

We also have to keep in mind that I have evolved a lot since my early 20´s. I am overall a much better version of myself and have now a much better life with a increasing wealth and without any problems at all. My game has improved a lot too over the years, so often I don´t have to do anything at all and women will already send me signals and flirt with me but I don´t play because I don´t see anything in them that is a good relationship material. I am no longer looking for marriage or having kids but I am still interested in high quality mid or long term relationship.

My Serbian friend simply can´t understand that I am burned out of all this crap and becoming Red Pill aware doesn´t help at all because it killed every last romantic ideal I had. Somehow I am convinced that if I go into the field I am going to have the same crap as when I was in my 20´s and that doesn´t inspire me at all to play. I am the hunter that hopes to find the hunting ground where there is prey worth of hunting.

I can relate to this. Based on ur post here abt ur friend.

Before I came here in SS that's basically how I operate; everything was BS, those pua or some other shiet is totally crap for crazies, in many cases I still believe it to be so; crap ideology that doesn't work in real life.

I say this because like ur friend, I am pretty much doing the same stuff he's doing, the only exception is I'm not married and I'm more mobile as in I'm in different cities within SEA at any given moment.

Now if it's me giving advice and being a pain in the a@@ to someone in real life, that someone must be of super importance to me.

Someone whom I'll gladly swim and sink with.

My loyalty towards my friend is driving me towards being a pain in the @ass, pressuring him and guiding him until he opens his eyes to see what the world is actually like.

My advice: He won't stop, he'll never stop until you at least try your best. Because I know I won't.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Knock yourself out mate, its just an advised..

What are you saying? Our website member is saying women are so hard and that his friend doesn't understand the "difficulties" the rest of us face...

Personally I don't think his alpha buddy would even put up with it, the feminist and stuck up ones would be invisible to him. He'd fvck everything that is advertising itself to him.