Date recap - ideas for a second date

[RickTheToad]

I met a lady for drinks on Wednesday and it seems we hit it off. There was a lot of petting and touching. She was grabbing certain parts of my body and my hands were all over her's; which she welcomed. The place we were at was closing up so we went next door to get another drink. On the way over she was against the wall for a bit and our lips were less than an inch a way so I went for it, and it was accepted pretty well. Though, she was very conscious about making out in front of everyone, but I paid little attention to the public. I even said my attention is on you, not everyone around us and it seemed she melted. She was getting tired so we called it a night. We made out again in front of her SUV and she followed up with a text thanking me for an amazing night. Next morning she repeated that she had a really good time. I said so did I. I'd love to see you again. She replied back instantaneously when? I said how's next Friday? She said works for her. I tried getting her address, but she said she feels more comfortable in meeting some where; which messed up my plans that I was going to set. I then thought to invite her over to my place, but I am not sure how that would work out if she wouldn't even give me her address yet. My thought process was that the landlord has a pool and no one uses it. We'd basically be alone and I thought that would be a good option. She's not far from the CT border in Westchester. My second option was to do something in the city or a comedy club in Westchester (I'm 20 mins away).

Should I try to see if she'd come over to my place? Or since she wanted to meet somewhere that would be a bad idea? If not, what are some options? Since we're meeting and not going in one car the city is kind of off limits. I guess we can take the train in, but that's about 44 bucks for two tickets round trip, plus drinks, plus event.

Ideas? Suggestions?

 

[Fzatf]

The comedy club option you mentioned could be fun but it would make it difficult to get physically close. I'd save having her come to your place until the third date. Looks like it'll cost you a bit extra but you should meet up with her again.

 

[claudolfgeorgini]

During your next date with her towards the end ask her what does she have planned for the rest of the night?

If she says anything along the lines of "I don't know" or "Nothing" then you can ask her to come to your place.

Make sure that where ever you take her it is close to your place.

Honestly I don't even bother with 2nd dates. If she's really into you she'll come over.

 

[RickTheToad]

I am leaning towards a comedy club which is in walking distance to her apt. Third date, inviter her to my place. Let's see what happens. She's been contacting me over the weekend, so that is a good sign I guess.

 

[RickTheToad]

So... Today was her first day back to work in school, so I texted to see how it was. First time I've reached out first. She texted me first after we made out, then then next day and on Sunday. She replied quickly, 2 mins or less and said it was good, thanks for checking. I thought it was weird she didn't ask about my day, but okay.

I then said we're going to a comedy club, she replied back 10 minutes later oh, ok. Apparently, she looked it up and it was not her town, but the next town over (Yelp messed it up). I'd be happy to pick her up, but as per her previous text, she wants to meet me there. 20 minutes later she just gave me a thumbs up. Might be overthinking, but I just get a different vibe through text now then over the last texts. She was always fast to reply and up beat. Didn't seem so this time around. Going to wait until Friday to order the tickets. She's pulling back already? How did she do a complete 180 in less than 2 days? This the same lady that I was making out in public less than a week ago.

Confused to say the least.

 

[Fzatf]

Girls moods change with the wind. I wouldn't over think it. Go on your date, have fun, and build interest in person.

 

[RickTheToad]

She's been texting me every other day and I'd text for a bit and then end had to go. She texted me today asking me how was my day, I say fantastic and so and so. How was yours? She was complaining on how hard it was and she needs a vacation. She's a teacher and just started yesterday. I said, oh, well, lucky you. You're seeing a comic tomorrow and that should make you smile. She said huh? WTF. Lucky? You should be lucky to be going with me. How rude. You are a very arrogant person. I was like ???

Then she calmed down and she said send me a cute pic of your face. I miss it. I said ahh, you know how to make me smile. She then said, what do you mean? I'm very attractive. You are one arrogant guy. I then went ??? I am very attractive. What? I text? She continued on and I just said we should probably reschedule for another time. Her response. Whatever you want.

Can someone please tell me what the heck happened here? I'd cut and paste the texts, but I do not need Google indexing this convo for life. That's the just of it. I am so confused. This is the complete opposite lady I met last week.

 

[marmel75]

She is testing you. Maintain frame and laigh it off.

 

[RickTheToad]

She is testing you. Maintain frame and laigh it off.

I don't do crazy. It was like a completely different lady. I will not be contacting her again as I cancelled tomorrow's date.

 

[marmel75]

I don't do crazy. It was like a completely different lady. I will not be contacting her again as I cancelled tomorrow's date.

Dude you are just too uptight...you gotta learn how to relax

 

[Fzatf]

Too easy to be misunderstood over text. I guess she thought you were saying she was lucky to go to a club with you. So she concluded you were arrogant. Like Marmel said, the best thing you can do is laugh it off. Keep it light even if a girl starts accusing you of being arrogant or whatever else they infer from your texts.

Depending on how the conversation went, this one may not be lost. I'd tell her you think there was a misunderstanding, you want to see her, and you want to take her to the comedy club.

 

[sazc]

I think you may be mis reading her texts.

She's probably joking around with you but you're taking it personally.

It's done now anyways. Try not to be so rigid next time. Take things with a grain of salt and assume they are playing with you.

 

[RickTheToad]

I was trying to laugh it off in the texts. She just complained I was being arrogant and ****y. I even went further and said I think you misunderstood my text. You are stressed out and are seeing a comedian with me tomorrow. You will laugh and have fun. That will release endorphins, which will make you feel happier. . She then said, you don't even know me. How do you know?

Then she went into the send me a pic of you. And then apparently, texting "ahh, you know how to make me smile" she took negatively as I thought she wasn't attractive.

Huh???

This went on for like 40 mins. Never experienced something like that before.

 

[sazc]

I was trying to laugh it off in the texts. She just complained I was being arrogant and ****y. I even went further and said I think you misunderstood my text. You are stressed out and are seeing a comedian with me tomorrow. You will laugh and have fun. That will release endorphins, which will make you feel happier. . She then said, you don't even know me. How do you know?

Then she went into the send me a pic of you. And then apparently, texting "ahh, you know how to make me smile" she took negatively as I thought she wasn't attractive.

Huh???

This went on for like 40 mins. Never experienced something like that before.

Then better you walk.

I think we all know it's difficult to find someone you can connect with these days

 

[The Diver]

She is testing you

She said huh? WTF. Lucky? You should be lucky to be going with me. How rude.

No, She's not testing him. she's trying " to put him in his place "' and she definitely meant what she said.

 

[HankHill]

I was trying to laugh it off in the texts. She just complained I was being arrogant and ****y. I even went further and said I think you misunderstood my text. You are stressed out and are seeing a comedian with me tomorrow. You will laugh and have fun. That will release endorphins, which will make you feel happier. . She then said, you don't even know me. How do you know?

Then she went into the send me a pic of you. And then apparently, texting "ahh, you know how to make me smile" she took negatively as I thought she wasn't attractive.

Huh???

This went on for like 40 mins. Never experienced something like that before.

Wow - she sounds like someone off her meds. Bottomline is if she can't handle a little jib/jab over texting without calling you arrogant etc that's a major red flag. I'd cut your losses and run.
When you date a compatible person everything just flows naturally, it should not be a struggle. I've put foot in my mouth by trying to be funny over text and the women with high IL and compatibility laughed it off...one even said 'lol, you can say that to me but just fyi don't say that to another girl she might find it offensive unless you know her really well '. She gained mad respect from me for that.

 

[RickTheToad]

It seemed like a completely different lady than I met last week. Never experienced that before. So much for trying to make someone smile.

 

[R.U.G.]

OP, it seems she was trying to get you to submit, and you didn't allow it. Good for you. Only thing I would had done was stopped her during the first time she tried it. You may hear from her again. Though, she seems a bit hot and cold. It was somewhat of a sh!t test too, which you didn't play. She may be the kind of woman who likes to be the boss and wants her men to submit. Don't be that bro; not that it seems you were. Nice play on cancelling the date. She prob. didn't expect that.

Stay high. Stay dry and be careful. Here's a good vid. to watch from my boy AMS:

If you've not subscribed, show some love and join his Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/alphamalestrategies).

 

[Fzatf]

I was trying to laugh it off in the texts. She just complained I was being arrogant and ****y. I even went further and said I think you misunderstood my text. You are stressed out and are seeing a comedian with me tomorrow. You will laugh and have fun. That will release endorphins, which will make you feel happier. . She then said, you don't even know me. How do you know?

Then she went into the send me a pic of you. And then apparently, texting "ahh, you know how to make me smile" she took negatively as I thought she wasn't attractive.

Huh???

This went on for like 40 mins. Never experienced something like that before.

You made a good effort then. Sounds like she's not worth your time if she's going to be like that through text.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I was trying to laugh it off in the texts. She just complained I was being arrogant and ****y. I even went further and said I think you misunderstood my text. You are stressed out and are seeing a comedian with me tomorrow. You will laugh and have fun. That will release endorphins, which will make you feel happier. . She then said, you don't even know me. How do you know?

Then she went into the send me a pic of you. And then apparently, texting "ahh, you know how to make me smile" she took negatively as I thought she wasn't attractive.

Huh???

This went on for like 40 mins. Never experienced something like that before.

Do comedy dates really open them up like that?