Hi all.
So, when I was a teenager all my mates were getting laid but I was always getting friendzoned. There was no pickup back then, no game, no Internet -- but somehow I managed to work out what was going on and transformed myself into a bit of a challenge. I realised that I had to become distant, and so applied the good old "fake it to make it" approach and it worked.
That was in the late 1980s -- I started getting girlfriends and lays, gained confidence and then after a few years, the Internet came along and I became a master of Internet hookups -- lots of them -- I got lazy with my game as hooking up on line back then was so niche it was hardly a challenge.
A couple of long term relationships ruined my confidence, and there I was in my late forties, wondering what the **** happened - and now I'm 50!
So here I am, trying to get back in the game.
Thing is, I've noticed myself getting friendzoned again -- it's like I've reverted back to that teenager with none of the confidence I had before. I realised this needed to change recently when I made a pass at a younger girl, told her I was getting feelings, only to be hit with the "I'm really not in that place" response. I didn't think I sounded that needy, but I clearly made myself too available.
However, she's part of my general friend circle, so I can't just avoid her -- the question is, how do I behave with this minor "oneitis" now the "cat is out of the bag"?
When I say minor I'm not devastated in the same way I would be as a teenager, but it has hit me more than I'd like and I'd still like to turn the tables.
As much as I want to, I don't think vanishing is going to help matters -- but how to remain aloof and distant without being obvious?
Anyway, that's why I'm here.
So, when I was a teenager all my mates were getting laid but I was always getting friendzoned. There was no pickup back then, no game, no Internet -- but somehow I managed to work out what was going on and transformed myself into a bit of a challenge. I realised that I had to become distant, and so applied the good old "fake it to make it" approach and it worked.
That was in the late 1980s -- I started getting girlfriends and lays, gained confidence and then after a few years, the Internet came along and I became a master of Internet hookups -- lots of them -- I got lazy with my game as hooking up on line back then was so niche it was hardly a challenge.
A couple of long term relationships ruined my confidence, and there I was in my late forties, wondering what the **** happened - and now I'm 50!
So here I am, trying to get back in the game.
Thing is, I've noticed myself getting friendzoned again -- it's like I've reverted back to that teenager with none of the confidence I had before. I realised this needed to change recently when I made a pass at a younger girl, told her I was getting feelings, only to be hit with the "I'm really not in that place" response. I didn't think I sounded that needy, but I clearly made myself too available.
However, she's part of my general friend circle, so I can't just avoid her -- the question is, how do I behave with this minor "oneitis" now the "cat is out of the bag"?
When I say minor I'm not devastated in the same way I would be as a teenager, but it has hit me more than I'd like and I'd still like to turn the tables.
As much as I want to, I don't think vanishing is going to help matters -- but how to remain aloof and distant without being obvious?
Anyway, that's why I'm here.
I know right!