She texts out of the blue two months later -- why?

[DrStranglove]

Met this girl back in January. We really clicked and had fun together, plus I was super attracted to her, but she was hot and cold, mixed messages, hard to read, etc.

She disappeared without explanation for a few weeks in March-April. Crawled back again and we danced around the idea of a relationship until she disappeared again in early June. For what it's worth, last time I saw her in June I made a comment about splitting the check she took the wrong way, but she texted later that night saying don't worry I'm over it. Don't know how much that had to do with it, but the following weeks she returned a call but ignored texts, so I quit reaching out. We saw each other maybe 20 times total.

We didn't talk all summer, then Monday afternoon she texts out of the blue. Sends a link to this nearby historic home for-sale, like we used to do. Said she was eager to see it and thought I'd enjoy it. We've had a rolling text convo, maybe a dozen texts over the last few days. I played it cool - aloof but not too standoffish. We joked about me buying that house and teaching her how to negotiate. Her last text was Tues night and said "Ok show me how!" which I replied Wed afternoon "Alright. Maybe we'll go see it". No reply yet- figures.

I probably should have offered an exact date, not "maybe we'll go see it", but didn't want to give the appearance of jumping right back in her arms.

Now I'm left wondering... what was her motivation for texting anyway? I assume to "reel me back in" or "see if I'm still on the hook". Do I reach out again in a few days with a more concrete answer or maintain radio silence until she contacts me?

 

[HankHill]

Sounds like she doesn't have anyone else blowing up her phone right now so she wants attention. Don't expect too much but yeah, send her 'Does Fri at 5pm work? if not, let me know your availability." and see what happens.

 

[Skyline]

Hank nailed it.

She could be blowing up your phone, sending nudes, flirty, liking/following you on everything, but if she doesn't meet up then she's just using you for attention.

 

[R.U.G.]

Attention wh-o-re. All you say is come over and let's chill. When she comes over, ask her how are you going to make it up to me? Just disappearing for months? What do you want she'll say? You reply, I am sure we can think of something. Start caressing her thighs and arms, move up to her neck start making out and you know the rest.

If she says no, say no prob. Take care.

 

[sosousage]

Met this girl back in January. We really clicked and had fun together, plus I was super attracted to her, but she was hot and cold, mixed messages, hard to read, etc.

She disappeared without explanation for a few weeks in March-April. Crawled back again and we danced around the idea of a relationship until she disappeared again in early June. For what it's worth, last time I saw her in June I made a comment about splitting the check she took the wrong way, but she texted later that night saying don't worry I'm over it. Don't know how much that had to do with it, but the following weeks she returned a call but ignored texts, so I quit reaching out. We saw each other maybe 20 times total.

We didn't talk all summer, then Monday afternoon she texts out of the blue. Sends a link to this nearby historic home for-sale, like we used to do. Said she was eager to see it and thought I'd enjoy it. We've had a rolling text convo, maybe a dozen texts over the last few days. I played it cool - aloof but not too standoffish. We joked about me buying that house and teaching her how to negotiate. Her last text was Tues night and said "Ok show me how!" which I replied Wed afternoon "Alright. Maybe we'll go see it". No reply yet- figures.

I probably should have offered an exact date, not "maybe we'll go see it", but didn't want to give the appearance of jumping right back in her arms.

Now I'm left wondering... what was her motivation for texting anyway? I assume to "reel me back in" or "see if I'm still on the hook". Do I reach out again in a few days with a more concrete answer or maintain radio silence until she contacts me?

tell her to fk off lol 20 meetings and no sex? XAXAXAXAXA

 

[Magotrox]

The guys up here are in the right track. She has low interest in you. Just don't wast much time and make your move. Set the date. Sometimes it works. Even if she accept, go with low or no expectations. Else, stay away from a good distance and invest your time in better stuff.

 

[soulforge]

Here is a great plan for you, regarding this chick.. IGNORE and move the fuk on!

Its amazing how dudes will continue chasing chicks, when they display next to ZERO interest and clearly treat them with utter disrespect.

Girl treats you like you are insignificant, and dudes are chasing and thirsting over her.

Stop chasing low IL girls.. Stop chasing woman who don't give fuks about you!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Here is a great plan for you, regarding this chick.. IGNORE and move the fuk on!

Its amazing how dudes will continue chasing chicks, when they display next to ZERO interest and clearly treat them with utter disrespect.

Girl treats you like you are insignificant, and dudes are chasing and thirsting over her.

Stop chasing low IL girls.. Stop chasing woman who don't give fuks about you!

Them other dudes thirsty over her are probably her entertainment just like you. Girls thirst and chase after guys they want.

 

[Magotrox]

Here is a great plan for you, regarding this chick.. IGNORE and move the fuk on!

Its amazing how dudes will continue chasing chicks, when they display next to ZERO interest and clearly treat them with utter disrespect.

Girl treats you like you are insignificant, and dudes are chasing and thirsting over her.

Stop chasing low IL girls.. Stop chasing woman who don't give fuks about you!

This is a nice advice. But the observation I make is that, when you're dealing with high SMV girls, the dance is different. I'm not saying that you must chase when there are no openings for you. But you must be 'near' enough to get an opportunity. High SVM girls, in general, give no signals and are targeted by many, many men, everyday. You must be in a safe distance, where you don't waste your time for nothing, but is near enough to get an opportunity. I call this "refrigerator zone". You don't waste your time with a girl in the refrigerator, but you don't close the door for her. If she text you, you'll answer when you have some free time. If you see the window of opportunity, just get it, set the date and move on. When you have a good number of plates, you are not needy, and, then, there is some space and patience to play the refrigerator game too, investing little time with it. The game is not something static. It is dynamic. It changes with time. Be aware of the opportunities.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is a nice advice. But the observation I make is that, when you're dealing with high SMV girls, the dance is different. I'm not saying that you must chase when there are no openings for you. But you must be 'near' enough to get an opportunity. High SVM girls, in general, give no signals and are targeted by many, many men, everyday. You must be in a safe distance, where you don't waste your time for nothing, but is near enough to get an opportunity. I call this "refrigerator zone". You don't waste your time with a girl in the refrigerator, but you don't close the door for her. If she text you, you'll answer when you have some free time. If you see the window of opportunity, just get it, set the date and move on. When you have a good number of plates, you are not needy, and, then, there is some space and patience to play the refrigerator game too, investing little time with it. The game is not something static. It is dynamic. It changes with time. Be aware of the opportunities.

Sniffing around waiting for your scraps

 

[MrWood]

2mo retouch could also mean she is "actually" finnished with her last BF (that you didnt know about)

 

[Toddz]

You should not message her again or reply even if she hits you back up. She is just wasting your time. Move on

 

[DrStranglove]

This is a nice advice. But the observation I make is that, when you're dealing with high SMV girls, the dance is different. I'm not saying that you must chase when there are no openings for you. But you must be 'near' enough to get an opportunity. High SVM girls, in general, give no signals and are targeted by many, many men, everyday. You must be in a safe distance, where you don't waste your time for nothing, but is near enough to get an opportunity. I call this "refrigerator zone". You don't waste your time with a girl in the refrigerator, but you don't close the door for her. If she text you, you'll answer when you have some free time. If you see the window of opportunity, just get it, set the date and move on. When you have a good number of plates, you are not needy, and, then, there is some space and patience to play the refrigerator game too, investing little time with it. The game is not something static. It is dynamic. It changes with time. Be aware of the opportunities.

This is a good analogy. I remember as we were getting to know each other, she told me she wasn't really the "reach out type" and likes the guys to "take the lead". Presented herself as very traditional.

I don't know why she pulled back on me a few months ago, maybe another guy, maybe my comment was a bell that couldn't be unhung, but she obviously wanted to open the line of communication between us again. I think she's a waste of time as relationship potential but she was a cool chick to have around, we had fun and enjoyed each other's company, she made herself available 95% of the time I'd try to see her. Last time I saw her in June, the last thing she said to me was "I don't hang out with other guys the way I hang out with you" followed by "I always make myself available because I really enjoy your company".

So I'm debating whether I should text her something light hearted just to keep communication going, since she made the effort to reach out, just to see what happens..

 

[Magotrox]

Yes, you can see that as a window of opportunity. But you must play a objective game. Date, kino escalation, kiss. If not, just end the date and ghost her for a time. She must be hungry for your attention. Learn how to be master in this game of come and go.

 

[SuckItUp]

It’s quite simple. Women contact you out of the blue because they want attention.

When you were talking to her before there was at least one other guy that she was more interested in and she chased after him. It their list. didn’t work out and she hadn’t found a new guy to fixate on.

This should be your thought process anytime a girl calls out of the blue. It’s usually quite obvious that a girl has someone higher on her list.

 

[DrStranglove]

Appreciate the help from everyone.

Yes, you can see that as a window of opportunity. But you must play a objective game. Date, kino escalation, kiss. If not, just end the date and ghost her for a time. She must be hungry for your attention. Learn how to be master in this game of come and go.

So what is the best way to handle these women who come and go?

 

[Billtx49]

Appreciate the help from everyone.



So what is the best way to handle these women who come and go?

If she cones and goes, she’s emotionally unstable and can’t decide who she wants. Do you really want to try to get a handle on that?
Male center is talked about quite alot here, but what about centered females?

 

[Magotrox]

Appreciate the help from everyone.



So what is the best way to handle these women who come and go?

The best way is to have as many options as you can and go to every date with zero expectations. When you are a guy with value, girls will come for you naturally. Of course, you have to know (experience will teach you that), when she is just playing with you (for attention, and making you waste your time), and when there is a chance for a hit. Go for a date, but never as a friend. Kino her. Act manly. Make she know that you are there as a wolf, never as a friend. If she is not giving you the attention you deserve, the best revenge is to go away and ghost her.

 

[Magotrox]

If she cones and goes, she’s emotionally unstable and can’t decide who she wants. Do you really want to try to get a handle on that?
Male center is talked about quite alot here, but what about centered females?

Most girls will act moved by emotions. Emotions are unstable. So, you have to learn how to deal with that. Of course, if you're looking for a LTR, a more stable girl is the right choice. But, if you want a plate, maybe it's worth of some work and patience. You decide.

 

[RangerMIke]

Appreciate the help from everyone.

So what is the best way to handle these women who come and go?

This happens to me on occasion with chicks that have drift off.

In fact, it just happened to me today. Got a text from a chick that I hadn't seen in months, I think she was testing the waters with another dude... but who the fvck cares why. She texts me wondering if I was 'in country', since the last time I spoke with her I told her I was going to be in the UK for a few days, this was a couple of weeks ago briefly at a chamber event. I took this as a sign she was testing the waters so I made a date for Thursday... I'm taking her to an art exhibit for a friend at a bar/restaurant, and told her I wanted to hear about her trip to Greece. She jumped on that quick, I'll let the boards know how this turns out.

IMO the best way to handle it if you want to see her again is to go ahead and make a date and see what happens. But invite her along to something you have already planned. Tell her "I'm going to XYZ on (when ever), meet me there at (where ever)." Then she how she responds. If she says "Yes", then you have to wait to see if she flakes... If she flakes, well... she was just looking for an ego boost. If she shows up it's game on.