"Hypergamy" is WAY overblown on this board

[Dash Riprock]

This is a really good blog post by Tony Robbins about masculine and feminine core energy: https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ask-tony/polarity/

From the blog:

If two people have a similar polarity, that is, both are more ‘masculine,’ then the attraction between them will be diminished. But if there is a strong difference, where one is extremely ‘feminine’ and the other ‘masculine,’ then the physical attraction will be maximized.

The bottom line is strong relationships can be traced back to male and female energy snapping together like a Masterlock. Now, if the man becomes too feminine; soft, needy, a non-leader, etc., (usually the case in breakups) the woman can become too masculine (bossy, overtly bit*chy, domineering) shifting the energy dynamic, and the relationship will be in peril. It's usually the man becoming too feminine in a LTR or marriage I've found, which causes the woman to become bossy, overtly bit*chy, domineering because now she has to be the man and the woman. The guy will get DUMPED cold, and then blame "hypergamy" like there's nothing he could have done to prevent this.

Staying in his masculine core would have prevented this.

 

[Billtx49]

"Women left me for a better man" is a way to soothe the ego? Sh1tty guesswork about a gender you clearly can't understand.

He’s not always ‘better’, but that’s the incorrect default assumption most men use…

 

[sazc]

"Women left me for a better man" is a way to soothe the ego? Sh1tty guesswork about a gender you clearly can't understand.

Leave it to you to take it to the simple minded definition. It's not even worth engaging you on the topic.

 

[sosousage]

He’s not always ‘better’, but that’s the incorrect default assumption most men use…

hes indeed better in womans head

 

[mrgoodstuff]

hes indeed better in womans head

It might just be "attraction"

 

[sazc]

Keep speculating, I'm sure you'll get it right eventually.

Start trying to think in multi dimensions, on deeper levels, eventually you'll understand. Maybe....

 

[sosousage]

Start trying to think in multi dimensions, on deeper levels, eventually you'll understand. Maybe....

is that why most known philosophs are men and not women?

maybe women are so deep thinkers that normal people are too plain to appreciate their wisdom and therefore there are only known men philosophs lol

 

[sazc]

is that why most known philosophs are men and not women?

maybe women are so deep thinkers that normal people are too plain to appreciate their wisdom and therefore there are only known men philosophs lol

I'm not explaining the link between how, on these boards, hypergamy is/can be used an excuse to soothe the ego.

If someone can't connect those dots on their own it's probably because they are, in fact, ego-centric. Too wrapped up in their own ego to be able to see ALL potential reasons, solutions, definitions. (AKA multi dimensional thinking)

It's a sucky way to live and it leads to self doubt, anger, and lack of confidence.

 

[sazc]

Too many educated men on here for something like that to fly, sorry.

You're missing the mark on this one. But you do you.

 

[devilkingx2]

Most women (80+%) would MUCH RATHER HAVE A MAN THEY **EMOTIONALLY** CONNECT WITH AND RESPECT more so than new granite counter tops or a new tennis bracelet.

This is the only area where you're wrong, most women only really care about attraction. If they think you're hot and want to fvck you that's all they want/need.

What attracts a woman depends on the woman, but I've met very few women that actually cared mostly about emotional connections, even out of the ones that claim to, you get them into bed instantly if they're attracted and if they don't want you to fvck them all night then. An "emotional connection" is just how much she wants to continue fvcking you

 

[R.U.G.]

This is the only area where you're wrong, most women only really care about attraction. If they think you're hot and want to fvck you that's all they want/need.

What attracts a woman depends on the woman, but I've met very few women that actually cared mostly about emotional connections, even out of the ones that claim to, you get them into bed instantly if they're attracted and if they don't want you to fvck them all night then. An "emotional connection" is just how much she wants to continue fvcking you

Going to have to agree. Most modern 21st century women look at men who can better their lives and provide them experiences that they cannot achieve on their own. It's just how it is nowadays. The ME generation is in full effect.

 

[Dash Riprock]

This is the only area where you're wrong, most women only really care about attraction. If they think you're hot and want to fvck you that's all they want/need.

Yes, but ONLY in ONS, FWB, and some STRs. Short game stuff. Sure, she won't give a s*hit about your personality. You could be a zero, a real drip and if you're a hot male, she'll f*uck you. There's no commitment. She doesn't care.

If we're talking LTRs and/or relationships with substance, then definitively NO. LMS attract, but you're going to need a lot more than a cute face, nice ass in skinny jeans, and cool haircut to keep her. She wants to "connect with you" for the long game.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I'm with you...there's all that too and obviously you can't keep a woman for 4+yrs if you didn't have those things in the first place. However, how do you explain the aftermath of them jumping ship anyway?

Simple biology. Male nature desire for polygamy. Female nature is hypergamy. IMHO, the key being self knowledge and exploring consciousness in order to go beyond our biological predisposition.

I admire true game; the bloke who may not pull 9s and 10s but, say the 5+ pulling 8/8.5s, several deviations above their SMV not based on resources, money or status. Respect @ said male.

Hypergamy is the cause. That being female discontentment.

They all wanted to come back and one time I really tried because I truly loved f*cking her and could do it for the rest of my life but each time I tried to take her back (without losing my frame) she would jump again, almost like a cat/mouse game 'oh he wants me back...so let me focus on what I can't have' then as soon as I dropped her 'she'd come back just to even get laid' it went on for 3yrs.

Rollo is spot on (except with marriage lol) when he says you take the trash out to the curb and you leave it there.

You say you kept frame but, you clearly didn't since she did you dirty and you took her back.

After a woman has shown her true colors, you next her. As in, dead to me!

If she got hit by a mack truck, zero ****s given. Too busy hitting on babes, getting baeeeeees, and going balls deep to attend said funeral.

IMHO, this herein lies the next stage of male evolution. #next is GOAT!

#nextSet is clutch. Its abundance and acting the part. Its all encompassing of 'male burden of performance.'


Not in the mood is a **** test. Nobody alpha tolerates said piece. Its retarded it needs being said but obviously, rape isn't OK.

Not in the mood means, #next!

Her low sex drive isn't my problem nor is her weight.

Its all one big **** test. As is #metoo! Hollywood stops calling due to the wall so insert female victimhood.

 

[HankHill]

Hank,

You can have a solid emotional connection with a woman along with anIDGAF attitude. They do not conflict.

Let me explain:

Solid Emotional Connection (as defined by Dash): A relationship, usually LTR or marriage, built on and defined by TRUST, COMMUNICATION, and RESPECT. If any one of of these three are missing, the relationship will not survive long term.

IDGAF Attitude and Abundance Mentality:

In dating: Ability to walk immediately at initial signs of disrespect, or if you as the man are not feeling a connection. You walk confidentially away from the relationship knowing more, and better, women are waiting for you.

In relationships: You always keep your masculine core. You abide by the BIG 3 above, T-C-R. If your female partner wants to leave or the relationship gets to the point of you being unhappy, you can try to fix if you desire, always keeping your masculine core. You NEVER act weak, needy, soft, or negotiate for her love or feelings. If she wants out, GREAT! You're done as quickly as possible and move on with your one and only shot at life. You don't look back. You simply Don't Give a F*uck. You are future-focused and willing to walk away and start a new.

Agreed with most of that but when it comes to LTRs and marriages. It's not that easy to walk away from what you've invested into mentally, emotionally and physically for years and in many cases with kids involved- at least not without being/becoming someone who's void of emotion. You've built a life together, family, friends etc. you can't on the first sign of crap just walk away and say 'I'm filing for divorce tomorrow'. When my ex-ex told me 3yrs into our relationship 'hey my ex wants to buy me dinner for my bday (which had just passed) and I'm ok if you say no but before you do I want to remind you that we haven't seen each other in years and as I've told you before we both agreed we're not romantically compatible, we just want to maintain some level of friendship'. I said 'sure, it's no problem. Just be home by 10p'. I mean even if I said no she could've done it behind my back anyway but I also didn't care because I truly believed in don't try to keep someone that doesn't want to be with you- but my point of bringing that up is that sometimes you can do everything by the book but they'll do what they want to do. Ultimately she did cheat on me with him and then flip flopped for 3yrs. In those 3yrs I dated other women too.

Without knowing the details of your situation with her, all I can say is that if you kept taking her back after she bounced then perhaps she saw you as her back up plan/safety net/ ego booster. You said you liked the sex a lot, some women will use sex to not only get what they want from men but to get away with crappy behaviour. This is because men, I’m sorry to say and I’m being frank here, consistently put up with crap from women because of the sex. It’s a tale as old as time.

And sometimes, even you are doing everything right they still leave. Sometimes it’s a simple as they are not in a place to be in the relationship anymore or despite everything going well, there was no real chemistry [anymore]. It’s frustrating when you get dumped and you don’t know what the hell happened because it all seemed to be going so well. I’ve been there as I’m sure many others on site have as well.

Sometimes, we when we are really into someone, we fail to see them as who they really are, even when they show us who they are. Love really is blind at times. I think people show us who they really are at some point in the relationship and we at times fail to see it because of rose coloured glasses, then are blindsided when they leave.

As for those guys I dated, I was dumped by one, no idea why lol but likely missed some red flag because I was so into him. I ended it with the second one because he was moving to another province for school and I just couldn’t do the long distance thing, the third I totally sabotaged with my insecurity and he dumped me (rightfully so lol), and the fourth one I married last year.

True, and what I bolded and underlined is what happens in most of the LTRs that go sideways. The chemistry is still there, but they just want new excitement, the butterflies in stomach feeling etc. First they start finding hobbies, dancing, etc then when they don't get the dopamine from those they go stray.

So once again, you can do everything right and they'll still eject on you because they're seeking the inner happiness from another person.

PS. Congrats on the marriage! I truly hope that you both keep your end of the vows.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Sure, your idea works great when you're in your 20s and 30. May be even 40s and 50s but where do you see yourself when you're in your 60s+ or 70s? unmarried guy, single dad or childless, living in an apartment alone or a senior community?

This herein lies the female logic wimper of happy life happy wife.

Until laws change, marriage is out.

Do you really want to bring children into this **** hole?

I know a lad. Mid 20s. Does local circuit physique comps. He pulls women in binkini class. The girls are all skiing down cawkkkk mountain.

If he cannot pull there, he pulls from tinder or match. If all else fails, he pays escorts or strippers to swallow.


This isn't my style but, wtf is the diff in that or marrying cratered SMV? Getting cucked by a wife? Cut off by a wife? Not in the mood wife? Divorce rape?

There's sugar babies. There's new girls turning 18 everyday.


You have tons of time. I caution you. The frame in which you posted isn't coming out if abundance. Fear of being alone is scarcity.


I respect your truth. Its real. Bro, be willing to go out on your shield in this life.


It must go beyond women and world. Purpose, passion, dream, etc. The rest will sort itself out.


100k is by no means rich. Hell, 60k is a riot as a bachelor. No kids. No wife.

I'm a drifter. I've GMOW. Its all for sport. I am not sacrificing my dreams now or ever.

Start a biz. Travel the world. Hike in Peru. Do the tea ceremony with shamans. Explore consciousness. Seek self knowledge.

 

[R.U.G.]

Yes, but ONLY in ONS, FWB, and some STRs. Short game stuff. Sure, she won't give a s*hit about your personality. You could be a zero, a real drip and if you're a hot male, she'll f*uck you. There's no commitment. She doesn't care.

If we're talking LTRs and/or relationships with substance, then definitively NO. LMS attract, but you're going to need a lot more than a cute face, nice ass in skinny jeans, and cool haircut to keep her. She wants to "connect with you" for the long game.

It's cute you think like that. You need to continue with your masculine frame and connect with her emotionally in order to keep her around. Problem is, her emotional needs change over time. You need to keep tabs on this and adjust accordingly. This goes back to is the juice worth the squeeze. Usually, it isn't.

 

[RangerMIke]

My entire point with this thread is "hypergamy" is blamed for many of SS posters dating ills, which IMO, is just not true and way overplayed. The real reason is their DJ skills are lacking and need to be developed further. Kind of like the minor league baseball player who gets promoted to the big leagues and can't hit MLB pitching, but blames all the MLB pitchers for throwing "spitters" when in reality, the guy need to become a better MLB hitter. You do this through learning and practice, not by blaming or complaining. Same thing in the dating world..

Okay... I see your point. I don't disagree.

But if you understand female nature you really are not going to beat your head against the wall fighting the natural hypergamous nature of women, unless it is your intent to try and make an LTR work... then you have to be aware of the shifting nature of what your chick wants and what drive her interest. But I do understand how a guy gets ticked that a chick he is dating suddenly has a change in what tickles her fancy ans she monkey branches to another man. Where guys make mistakes isn't that their 'game' needs work, they are not paying attention to what your chick really wants, they are too focused on what HE wants... "She's hot, and I want to bang her." Then the dude get emotionally attached, and when he loses a chick that doesn't really want what he has.

"Game" only really comes into play when you have a chick that wants what you have, or what she 'thinks' you have. But as soon as she figures out you don't have what she needs, or if what she thinks she needs changes, 'game' will not help you.

This is why I like Doc Love, he will teach you how to date normal women who like you. He doesn't really care what she is attracted to, he only teaches how they behave when they really like you and when they don't... and let her come to you. What I do not agree with him on is that he doesn't recognize the difference between "attraction" and "interest". To Doc Love, it's all just interest level, regrettably it is more complicated than that, but you can run a dating life based on what he teaches without any problem, and it is a simple way to track what is going on. What I am about to say isn't going to help you with 'game' but it will help you understand most women.

Attraction is driven by LMS... looks are easy to see. Money and Status is based on her assumptions about you, which she has to confirm thought he 'chick network' or by dating you. If after a few dates, she discovers you do not fit her needs in terms of status or money, you are done. While most dudes are happy to be on a date with a chick they like, chicks are feeling you out, trying to discover if you have what she wants. This is why you see a lot of dudes on this board 'confused' because they had a few "GREAT" dates, and then she ghosts or gives them the LBF speech. You really didn't do anything wrong, she ticked the tires and decided you are not the model she is looking for.

Interest can be driven up or down based on your 'game', but before interest comes into play, she has to believe what you have meets her LMS needs. Interest is a function of a dude just acting like a man, going after what you want, maintaining emotional self control, and her belief that you have other options, which causes her to put effort into you. The more effort she puts in the more she wants you and the more she will want you.

In short you have to have the minimum amount of LMS she is looking for, Doc Love will say her interest level is at 50%. If you do, then at that point all you can do is screw it up, which you can control with good 'game'... For The System to work, it is key that you are honest about who you are if during the 'dating' she figures out you are not what she wants, her interest drops below acceptable levels... if this happens, so the fvck what, you want this to happens sooner rather than later. If you try and twist yourself into a pretzel for a chick, you will eventually lose her anyway because of incompatibility. If you do have what she wants, but don't act like a man... well this is your fault and blaming hypergamy for YOUR behavior will prevent you for self improvement.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Agreed with most of that but when it comes to LTRs and marriages. It's not that easy to walk away from what you've invested into mentally, emotionally and physically for years and in many cases with kids involved- at least not without being/becoming someone who's void of emotion. You've built a life together, family, friends etc. you can't on the first sign of crap just walk away and say 'I'm filing for divorce tomorrow'. When my ex-ex told me 3yrs into our relationship 'hey my ex wants to buy me dinner for my bday (which had just passed) and I'm ok if you say no but before you do I want to remind you that we haven't seen each other in years and as I've told you before we both agreed we're not romantically compatible, we just want to maintain some level of friendship'. I said 'sure, it's no problem. Just be home by 10p'. I mean even if I said no she could've done it behind my back anyway but I also didn't care because I truly believed in don't try to keep someone that doesn't want to be with you- but my point of bringing that up is that sometimes you can do everything by the book but they'll do what they want to do. Ultimately she did cheat on me with him and then flip flopped for 3yrs. In those 3yrs I dated other women too.

Of course its not easy. Nothing great comes easy.

I won't marry. I have gone n/c with girls all the time. No man with options will tolerate female logic. Low sex drive. Not in the mood.

True, and what I bolded and underlined is what happens in most of the LTRs that go sideways. The chemistry is still there, but they just want new excitement, the butterflies in stomach feeling etc. First they start finding hobbies, dancing, etc then when they don't get the dopamine from those they go stray.

Agreed which is why you must not be like most LTRs nor follow the beaten path.

So once again, you can do everything right and they'll still eject on you because they're seeking the inner happiness from another person.

Game doesn't guarantee ****tttt.

Game increases the probability of success. It enhances one's ability to know when to push, pull or next.

The sec you enter a one way flow biz venture called marriage whereby you Call All-In on a woman, likely with high kill count, baggage, debt, and nearing the wall. A man then swears away his current and future earnings as well as sexual access.

No marriage. No cohabitation. Next her for any stupidity, cucky, female logic.

PS. Congrats on the marriage! I truly hope that you both keep your end of the vows.

Wut?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Okay... I see your point. I don't disagree.

But if you understand female nature you really are not going to beat your head against the wall fighting the natural hypergamous nature of women, unless it is your intent to try and make an LTR work... then you have to be aware of the shifting nature of what your chick wants and what drive her interest. But I do understand how a guy gets ticked that a chick he is dating suddenly has a change in what tickles her fancy ans she monkey branches to another man. Where guys make mistakes isn't that their 'game' needs work, they are not paying attention to what your chick really wants, they are too focused on what HE wants... "She's hot, and I want to bang her." Then the dude get emotionally attached, and when he loses a chick that doesn't really want what he has.

Who ever said women wait till marriage? Women ****. Its a **** test when they say otherwise.

Women are interchangeable. Its stupidity in men crying about a *****. Marrying a slut.

Think of it as target practice at everything hawttttt.

Approach like coding: if dtf, smash. If not #next!

Loop state: repeat!

"Game" only really comes into play when you have a chick that wants what you have, or what she 'thinks' you have. But as soon as she figures out you don't have what she needs, or if what she thinks she needs changes, 'game' will not help you.

Not doing it right.

You pull. You keep her in your funnel.

After going balls deep, you sound like you are out buying a ring.

My mate and I Eiffel towered some Sloot, left, and went to the bar to pull more.

We actually took one girl home but, she wouldn't come up to the Eiffel tower. We left!

#nextSet!


Step game up.

This is why I like Doc Love, he will teach you how to date normal women who like you. He doesn't really care what she is attracted to, he only teaches how they behave when they really like you and when they don't... and let her come to you. What I do not agree with him on is that he doesn't recognize the difference between "attraction" and "interest". To Doc Love, it's all just interest level, regrettably it is more complicated than that, but you can run a dating life based on what he teaches without any problem, and it is a simple way to track what is going on. What I am about to say isn't going to help you with 'game' but it will help you understand most women.

LOL

Doc love and the system was my intro to pickup before mystery method lol.

Doc is a good coach but that's it. He's a coach. I would love a infield.

Attraction

is driven by LMS... looks are easy to see. Money and Status is based on her assumptions about you, which she has to confirm thought he 'chick network' or by dating you. If after a few dates, she discovers you do not fit her needs in terms of status or money, you are done. While most dudes are happy to be on a date with a chick they like, chicks are feeling you out, trying to discover if you have what she wants. This is why you see a lot of dudes on this board 'confused' because they had a few "GREAT" dates, and then she ghosts or gives them the LBF speech. You really didn't do anything wrong, she ticked the tires and decided you are not the model she is looking for.

Interest can be driven up or down based on your 'game', but before interest comes into play, she has to believe what you have meets her LMS needs. Interest is a function of a dude just acting like a man, going after what you want, maintaining emotional self control, and her belief that you have other options, which causes her to put effort into you. The more effort she puts in the more she wants you and the more she will want you.

In short you have to have the minimum amount of LMS she is looking for, Doc Love will say her interest level is at 50%. If you do, then at that point all you can do is screw it up, which you can control with good 'game'... For The System to work, it is key that you are honest about who you are if during the 'dating' she figures out you are not what she wants, her interest drops below acceptable levels... if this happens, so the fvck what, you want this to happens sooner rather than later. If you try and twist yourself into a pretzel for a chick, you will eventually lose her anyway because of incompatibility. If you do have what she wants, but don't act like a man... well this is your fault and blaming hypergamy for YOUR behavior will prevent you for self improvement.

Bad game definitely lowers interest level no doubt. Still, its hypergamy that keeps a woman discontent and constantly **** testing. Obv, its a multi facetted complex equation. Certain behavior, actions, lifestyle choices increase or decrease said interest level.

Women cannot beat their own hypergamy nor a man can best his polygamy. Its ideal to ho beyond. No matter how hawttttt a girl is, there's hotter, and younger. The same way theirs taller, attractive, richer, higher status etc.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I've seen a fair few marriages fail, and the reason why they do imo is due to one party or the other being fundamentally unhappy.

OK, so that sounds like a truism, but the point is when someone is fundamentally unhappy, the nature of their relationship with their partner is irrelevant, there is nothing to be done to fix this. The person is fundamentally unhappy.

This is the root cause of the holocaust you see in the sphere of relationships today. Often, people have in mind some illusory idea of happiness that they must chase. They do not attain it, and so become miserable. Nowhere is there the idea that they must build some moral resiliency or strength within themselves in order to cope with an existence and a world that is at times extremely testing. No, because they have been taught false conceptions of the world, primary among which is they have the right to be happy, they will blame their external environment for their misery. You see it in politics, and now you see it in relationships.

It is an ill-defined general air of discontent and resentment that is to blame for the failure of most relationships today. This is a moral/ existential problem, not a political, economic, or social one.