How do you heal a broken heart?

healmyheart

New Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
Age
37
I broke up with my girlfriend last month yet it feels like it was just yesterday. My friends and family were always there by my side after that painful break up. They never failed to make me feel important and worth loving for. They made me realize that they are just always there loving me for who I am and I am beyond blessed for that alone. But I still can’t figure out what it is that my heart is truly looking for. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad they are there for me--- my family and true friends. But it feels like there is still something missing in me. I think I have lost myself too the moment she chose to leave me.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,717
I broke up with my girlfriend last month yet it feels like it was just yesterday.
...and you haven't been going out, chatting with women and getting numbers?

Damn near every time I broke up with a woman, I'd find myself with a new one within a week. The only exception was when I needed a break from all the garbage I was dating which lasted 7 months, which was a welcomed break.

Go out there and find someone new. The only reason you're still thinking about her is because you're sitting at home masturbating instead of having sex.
 

Augustus_McCrae

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2012
Messages
912
Reaction score
1,010
I broke up with my girlfriend last month yet it feels like it was just yesterday. My friends and family were always there by my side after that painful break up. They never failed to make me feel important and worth loving for. They made me realize that they are just always there loving me for who I am and I am beyond blessed for that alone. But I still can’t figure out what it is that my heart is truly looking for. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad they are there for me--- my family and true friends. But it feels like there is still something missing in me. I think I have lost myself too the moment she chose to leave me.
Your last sentence says a lot. It sounds like you developed Oneitis for this girl. It also seems like you lost frame in the relationship.

Always remember that a woman is interested in a man who has his own interests, his own agenda and his own life. Never forget that your life should have purpose and be fulfilling with or without a woman.

Do yourself a favor and check out rollo’s blog therationalmale.com. Start with the earlier stuff.

-Augustus-
 

greatsnake

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2017
Messages
656
Reaction score
315
Age
35
Make new goals, find new interests, push yourself to become better and start dating new women.
 

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,678
Reaction score
1,413
Find a hobby or interest that helps you rebuild your self-esteem. You can't let so much of your self-worth get wrapped up in whether or not a girl is in your life. Like others said above, you need goals that challenge you on all levels: physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

Doing the deep inner character work is what makes us men stand apart from the others. Men with a purpose are attractive. Many say chase tail to get your mind off the broken heart. In my opinion, I suggest taking the time personally to fix yourself, then begin adding women back into your life.

The work you do on yourself... no one can take away. It's a win/win.
 

BreezyB84

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2016
Messages
122
Reaction score
41
Age
40
Write..... Learn to Master your emotions and remember you are a king.. we've all be there, but you have to learn everything is a blessing....even the bitches..
Women will make you explore the parts of you, you never looked at and you should take advantage of the opportunity to be better. The better you are, the better women you can attract. I'm learning this as we speak.. find good mentors to be around, and push yourself... and find something higher than yourself to believe in.
 

healmyheart

New Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Find a hobby or interest that helps you rebuild your self-esteem. You can't let so much of your self-worth get wrapped up in whether or not a girl is in your life. Like others said above, you need goals that challenge you on all levels: physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

Doing the deep inner character work is what makes us men stand apart from the others. Men with a purpose are attractive. Many say chase tail to get your mind off the broken heart. In my opinion, I suggest taking the time personally to fix yourself, then begin adding women back into your life.

The work you do on yourself... no one can take away. It's a win/win.
Hi, thank you for leaving me with this helpful advice. I'll surely keep this in mind. Thanks for helping me out!
 

healmyheart

New Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Your last sentence says a lot. It sounds like you developed Oneitis for this girl. It also seems like you lost frame in the relationship.

Always remember that a woman is interested in a man who has his own interests, his own agenda and his own life. Never forget that your life should have purpose and be fulfilling with or without a woman.

Do yourself a favor and check out rollo’s blog therationalmale.com. Start with the earlier stuff.

-Augustus-
Thank you for commenting down. This could help me a lot in moving on.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Find a hobby or interest that helps you rebuild your self-esteem. You can't let so much of your self-worth get wrapped up in whether or not a girl is in your life. Like others said above, you need goals that challenge you on all levels: physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

Doing the deep inner character work is what makes us men stand apart from the others. Men with a purpose are attractive. Many say chase tail to get your mind off the broken heart. In my opinion, I suggest taking the time personally to fix yourself, then begin adding women back into your life.

The work you do on yourself... no one can take away. It's a win/win.
I have been in this scenario and tried to heal in a vacuum. You end up using the pain to drive your efforts. That sounds great, but it keeps the pain alive.

The best way to get past that is living well but being around someone who appreciates your company and looks forward to you.

It'll be hard to keep pining over someone who treated you like shyt (you treated u like shyt being there ) when you have someone who treats you like gold.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,096
Reaction score
4,852
Age
34
...and you haven't been going out, chatting with women and getting numbers?

Damn near every time I broke up with a woman, I'd find myself with a new one within a week. The only exception was when I needed a break from all the garbage I was dating which lasted 7 months, which was a welcomed break.

Go out there and find someone new. The only reason you're still thinking about her is because you're sitting at home masturbating instead of having sex.
+ 1

Basically, I would be taking my **** out and humping everything thin, young, attractive, aka top form SMV. Smash or next! Always repeat.

Opie, you ain't doing it right kuz.

As for feelers, save that emo **** for women and small children. Begin smashing bitches without rubbers. Anything young and hawttttt is crash test dummy material.

Act accordingly.
 

R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
1,805
Reaction score
1,220
Work on yourself. Find your purpose and some hobbies aside from masturbating. Over time, the pain of a break-up will lesson. We've all been there.. Well, accept the frogman.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,823
Reaction score
4,140
I broke up with my girlfriend last month yet it feels like it was just yesterday. My friends and family were always there by my side after that painful break up. They never failed to make me feel important and worth loving for. They made me realize that they are just always there loving me for who I am and I am beyond blessed for that alone. But I still can’t figure out what it is that my heart is truly looking for. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad they are there for me--- my family and true friends. But it feels like there is still something missing in me. I think I have lost myself too the moment she chose to leave me.
I thinks it´s different for every person. I guess for most guys in this site spinning new plates usually does the trick.

For me? Banging a beautiful virgin always makes my day but it´s like a temporary high. After a few days or weeks I still feel broken hearted.
 
R

Ranger

Guest
fuc!< her best friend
Actually this is more of an astute perception than at first glance.
Firstly, she has talked about you to them. Secondly, it is an opportunity for her friends. You’re disease free, coming off a break up etc.
the worst thing you can do is lament and whine about your predicament and breakup. The girlfriends will respect you for getting back in the saddle and they will want to take a ride. To them a man lamenting over his loss is a weakling man. Women will suck and f@ck almost immediately because they know it’s the cure. Just keep it all dehind the scenes and don’t jeopardize the girl structure.
Good post Alvafe.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,192
Reaction score
3,319
Age
51
Location
Hoe County, California
duct tape fixes everything
 

rber

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2018
Messages
70
Reaction score
30
Age
32
Location
Israel
From what I understood from a little research I did at the time, your body is literally getting addicted to the touch of your partner and to the chemicals that are released in your body as a result. I recall something about a psychological addiction as well. When you don't get that stimulus from your partner you get the annoying feeling of emptiness that doesn't seem to go away. Your body craves it, it's literally a drug.

This won't make that feeling go away any faster, but it should help put things into perspective and put a smile on your face whenever you're feeling like sh!t. Realize you're just a machine suffering from it's own mechanics - avoid attaching any self-deprecating meanings to that feeling and trying to rationalize it beyond this biological process. As always, easier said than done.

I suppose casual sex does give you temporarily a good feeling since it gives you yet another small dose of that drug, but a short while after the sex is over you're back at square one. That is unless you can get into a new relationship which can be a new constant supply of that drug, in which case you should be back to feeling good again for as long as it lasts.

The alternative is to let your body go through the "rehab" process, which feels like sh!t, but when it's over you're back to normal.

This is based on research + personal experience, feel free to correct me if any / all of my points and deductions are wrong.
 
Last edited:

Isildur1

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2018
Messages
215
Reaction score
117
Age
32
Remember that it's you r body reacting to the withdrawal of the drug like oxytocin chemical response that you had when with this girl. your body is obviously upset that it won't be getting that addictive dopamine release anymoee. My advice will be to keep being active , fight it with hobbies,reading and travel and be gin opening new plAtes for yours elf
 
Top