In Awe at How Fast High Interest Can Turn to Low.

[sazc]

Hold on one sec, what do you consider d0uchey and belittling a person? Actively teasing and laughing at things once in a while without being disrespectful? Or is being too stiff and not daring to laugh at anything a better option? Not on my watch.

Dude YOU we're the one who said you were being a douche to her and purposefully pushing her buttons. I quoted what you said in your initial post. There was no qualification about your behavior by you. I took what you said at face value, you were being a douche to her and purposefully pushing her buttons.

I would reflect on a date like that and determine I didn't have a good time either. Who wants to date a person who is acts like an a$$ to them? I like the men I date to be nice to me.

If I read what you said correctly, you went on to justify your behavior by saying that people in her circle always give her sh1t, and you were behaving no differently than them. Did it ever occur to you that she doesn't like that and she's looking for something different in a man she's going to date?

Just some thoughts. You do you.

 

[CBear]

Dude YOU we're the one who said you were being a douche to her and purposefully pushing her buttons. I quoted what you said in your initial post. There was no qualification about your behavior by you. I took what you said at face value, you were being a douche to her and purposefully pushing her buttons.

I would reflect on a date like that and determine I didn't have a good time either. Who wants to date a person who is acts like an a$$ to them? I like the men I date to be nice to me.

If I read what you said correctly, you went on to justify your behavior by saying that people in her circle always give her sh1t, and you were behaving no differently than them. Did it ever occur to you that she doesn't like that and she's looking for something different in a man she's going to date?

Just some thoughts. You do you.

I do appreciate the input of course and yes you are taking it at face value. Said that people talk sh1t about her about what she's done in the past. Being nice went even worse with her last year but I didn't want to go into details because I didn't see it as important. The initial point I made was just my observation.

 

[sazc]

I do appreciate the input of course and yes you are taking it at face value. Said that people talk sh1t about her about what she's done in the past. Being nice went even worse with her last year but I didn't want to go into details because I didn't see it as important. The initial point I made was just my observation.

Got it.

FWIW just watch the douchyness and negging on a date. Chicks may act as if they are enjoying you, and responding, in the moment, but reflect back and realize they don't want to date another prick.

And never over invest in any event. Expectations are premeditated resentments. Always have low expectations so you will encounter more pleasant surprises

 

[Dash Riprock]

I like the men I date to be nice to me.

@sazc, I like your posts, but c'mon...you'd get bored really fast with Mr. Nice guy always at your beckon call. Nothing ever being 100%, but I think you'll even admit women are FAR MORE attracted to a guy who teases, plays, acts a little C&F, and has options. NOT, Mr. buttoned-up-overly-polite-starchy-boring-guy.

If OP busted on her a little, GOOD. I do it all the time and 90-95% of the time it's hugely effective. Plus, it's in my nature so it's easy for me. The rest, 5-10%, can take a flying leap, don't care.

If she's attractive, she may more want someone she can control and who treats her like a princess. AND to kill things after one date, well, most women know unless the date was HORRIBLE, that sometimes you need to go out with a guy a few times before you know. I've heard this from countless women. The one-and-done women who think they have 1000's of options I find are always impossible to please and NEVER happy with anything.

Good job OP. Move on.

 

[CBear]

@sazcThe one-and-done women who think they have 1000's of options I find are always impossible to please and NEVER happy with anything.

Good job OP. Move on.

Wow! That's exactly what was being said about this particular woman so I was expecting it to be over really quick. Just the one and done thing after a fun night is what I was initially shocked with and and never experienced before and it's what lead me to wondering what other people think about these things in general.

She also said before that she has a list of requirements for guys so there's that too. I now know this is a red flag. Thanks all

 

[sazc]

@sazc, I like your posts, but c'mon...you'd get bored really fast with Mr. Nice guy always at your beckon call. Nothing ever being 100%, but I think you'll even admit women are FAR MORE attracted to a guy who teases, plays, acts a little C&F, and has options. NOT, Mr. buttoned-up-overly-polite-starchy-boring-guy.

I dont disagree with this. It's really like walking a tightrope, and it's hard. how do you keep interest by no being too beta, but also dont come off as an insulting jerk. I dont have an answer.

 

[Skyline]

Quick update: Got a message that she's sorry but she didn't enjoy the date. Onto the next.

You're putting her through an emotional roller coaster, knowingly or not. She's not going to disappear that easy.

Her interest is a lot higher than you think.

 

[Skyline]

How do you figure that? She plainly said she didn't enjoy the date. My response would be "No problem, take care"

THEN if she is testing, etc, the ball is in her court. Frankly, I wouldn't give her another date, not big on games.

She blocked and unblocked him on multiple occasions.

Meaning she is thinking about him. I would ask her out and see if she shows up to test it.

 

[sazc]

No, you have no idea whether it's true or not and are ignoring dozens of other possibilities for your speculative projection. You gave maybe the least likely possibility lol

no, you just want 'reasons' that allow you to preserve your ego

if you keep blaming the chick, you never have to be at fault. Therefore your ego is safe, no introspection needed.
validated

the problem with this is you always end up unhappy and never knowing why, a la big dave

 

[richersandman]

Learned so much since I joined the forum and have entirely changed my mindset since. Still making discoveries though.

A new one is that a girl can ask you out, have a great date with a lot of awesome kino and making out every 10 minutes with her telling you how glad she is to have done this and how much she likes you. You can be a d0uche and press her buttons and make her laugh like crazy. Yet when you text her later in the week about going out the next week, everything can go cold after having her respond very quickly beforehand.

It was an interesting experience to go though and it goes to show you that you can do everything right (in your mind), yet they'll find something off or change their attention to someone else in an instant. Or maybe in some cases, they want to be with a beta male who is willing to take their bs? Who knows. Just don't be surprised if this happens.

-CBear

She's spinning plates, man.

You will be shocked at how quickly women will drop a man once she finds someone better or gets even a little bit bored.

 

[sazc]

Projection nonsense. Have facts on your side please.

I did have facts, you just chose to try and ignore them when you attempted to troll me.
FACTS: women with self esteem, self respect, self value wont SETTLE for a dude who treats them like crap, especially on the first date.

She appears to be having a good time on the date but, on reflection of the evening, she decides they dont want to put up with yet another dude who thinks negging and sh1t teasing them is the way to go. All that on a first date? Imagine the second, third, fourth, etc date? She's tired even before they get started.

Facts - whether you want to admit it or not.

 

[Skyline]

Meh, to each their own I guess. I wouldn't a girl out after she told me she didn't enjoy my company.

Actions...

If she really didn't enjoy it, do you think she would even bother to reach out? In my experience, they never reach out if they didn't enjoy it.

Or maybe she actually didn't, she's still interested if she reached out and told him.

 

[sazc]

Actions...

If she really didn't enjoy it, do you think she would even bother to reach out? In my experience, they never reach out if they didn't enjoy it.

Or maybe she actually didn't, she's still interested if she reached out and told him.

but dont you think it would be the ultimate beta move to still try to catch her after she said she didnt enjoy his company?

I get where you are coming from, this is just one big sh1t test on her part. a 'push pull' by her. Telling him she doesnt like him when she really does.

idk if I would want to bother with a person like that...seems like it would be one large mixed message all the time, exhausting, dont you think?

 

[Igetit!]

Meh, to each their own I guess. I wouldn't a girl out after she told me she didn't enjoy my company.

Me neither. That ain't any kind of sh1t test I've ever heard of.

And if it was a "test",then f-it.....I fail......BY CHOICE. If I want a challenge,I'll go on "JEOPARDY!"

I don't have the time or patience for that sh!t. Who calls a guy up after a date to tell him she didn't enjoy it as some kind of test?

Believe it or not,this whole "IL"/"interest" thing...it goes BOTH WAYS.......women don't have a monopoly on that.

I've had a date before,where after,the chick sent me a text,telling me that she didn't feel a connection. That's fine,I actually respect that....no games,no BS,no run-a-round.....I can roll with that. But if a chick were to contact me afterwards,telling me she didn't enjoy the date when she really did,but just said that as some sort of test? That'd kill MY INTEREST.......I don't have the patience to deal with horsesh!t and games.

 

[Skyline]

but dont you think it would be the ultimate beta move to still try to catch her after she said she didnt enjoy his company?

I get where you are coming from, this is just one big sh1t test on her part. a 'push pull' by her. Telling him she doesnt like him when she really does.

idk if I would want to bother with a person like that...seems like it would be one large mixed message all the time, exhausting, dont you think?

I believe in doing whatever you want, void of labels like beta/alpha... You have to adapt to each female individually, nothing is ever concrete. There are some universal rules but those rules are really just a template.

It's only a push pull if you view it that way. To me, it sounds like she's lost/confused.

Like I said, OP should ask her out and see what she says or if she flakes. That's the real deciding factor here.

She brought up the date on her own too, he could easily rephrase that into possibly getting another.

 

[CBear]

Last thing I care to share since this is still being discussed is that a couple hours in, she 100% had fun. We went to a drive in towards the end and she wanted to sit on my lap in 1 seat. My phone started buzzing a lot so I threw it on the other seat. Then had to go to the bathroom so told her to give it to me and left to take a whiz. Came back and she didn't want to sit in 1 seat anymore. Ok cool. After, she just laid on me, made out every 10 minutes and looked very deeply into my eyes as if she was trying to be comforted. Something was definitely a tiny bit off when I dropped her home. Now I'm thinking too much into it like I didn't want to but it's understood that younger women tend to focus on tiny things we do or say and wonder what we mean by them.

Skyline made some very interesting points and another possibility could be looking to get some kind of reassurance or to know that I'm 100% commited.

Sh1t test or not, not looking back.

Man, I started off just looking for insight or general idea about this particular "one and done move" after a fun night out but ya'll some real detectives.

 

[Skyline]

Last thing I care to share since this is still being discussed is that a couple hours in, she 100% had fun. We went to a drive in towards the end and she wanted to sit on my lap in 1 seat. My phone started buzzing a lot so I threw it on the other seat. Then had to go to the bathroom so told her to give it to me and left to take a whiz. Came back and she didn't want to sit in 1 seat anymore. Ok cool. After, she just laid on me, made out every 10 minutes and looked very deeply into my eyes as if she was trying to be comforted. Something was definitely a tiny bit off when I dropped her home. Now I'm thinking too much into it like I didn't want to but it's understood that younger women tend to focus on tiny things we do or say and wonder what we mean by them.

Skyline made some very interesting points and another possibility could be looking to get some kind of reassurance or to know that I'm 100% commited.

Sh1t test or not, not looking back.

Man, I started off just looking for insight or general idea about this particular "one and done move" after a fun night out but ya'll some real detectives.

Some of us just do things differently. There's nothing wrong with walking away though.

 

[DreamAgain]

Last thing I care to share since this is still being discussed is that a couple hours in, she 100% had fun. We went to a drive in towards the end and she wanted to sit on my lap in 1 seat. My phone started buzzing a lot so I threw it on the other seat. Then had to go to the bathroom so told her to give it to me and left to take a whiz. Came back and she didn't want to sit in 1 seat anymore. Ok cool. After, she just laid on me, made out every 10 minutes and looked very deeply into my eyes as if she was trying to be comforted. Something was definitely a tiny bit off when I dropped her home. Now I'm thinking too much into it like I didn't want to but it's understood that younger women tend to focus on tiny things we do or say and wonder what we mean by them.

Skyline made some very interesting points and another possibility could be looking to get some kind of reassurance or to know that I'm 100% commited.

Sh1t test or not, not looking back.

Man, I started off just looking for insight or general idea about this particular "one and done move" after a fun night out but ya'll some real detectives.

OP, she is spinning c0cks and you were another c0ck on the carousel that didn't quite make her cut. This girl is a h0e and be grateful she is out of your life. Don't look back.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Their interest was never truly THAT high to begin with.

I personally never take a woman's IL at face value in the moment. It is always what she does AFTER that, which reveals to me their true barometer of interest.

Take sex, for example. If you ever had what, to you, seemed like a great night of sex...she was into it, she had an orgasm, she told you it was the best sex she had in a while....but then she disappears for what seems like no reason after.... it is very possibly because the sex wasn't that great, she most likely faked that orgasm and she probably lied to you.

A woman who truly had a great night of sex with uncontrollably good orgasms who truly experiences something that was better than she has had in a long time will not just up and walk away without explanation. She will cling, she will contact you incisively. She will come over at 2am on a Tuesday night just to get another go at it, even if she has to be at work at 8am sharp. She will spend her entire day at work with no sleep leaning on one butt cheek because the other is too soar to sit on...and not care. She'll do it happily with a smile. And she'll keep texting you about it throughout her day.

A woman's IL after always tells you the truth about what it really was before.

Interesting. I KNOW when a woman loved the sex just seconds afterwards cause she's all in "let's get married" mode, and her face is red and flushed and she's dabbling in her hair and twirling of sorts fingers in her mouth and she follows me into the bathroom and maybe grabs my arm or my as5 and is trying to be humorous. She's just been done well, and is breathless and attached, feeling emotionally bonded, swirling thoughts so evident, eyes upward thinking how do I retain this guy? I hope I don't mess up what I say after that deep passion we just had.

Now, as far as losing interest at the drop of a hat 180, just take OLD for instance. I'd wager 80%+ women on OLD do not even Search or "Browse" for male profiles. All they usually do (lazy, as we hand it to them on a platter) is field the dozens upon hundreds of messages and views. All one need do is set up a female profile and see your fake average or below average female profile get inundated with onslaughts of males IF you remain online. They PAY for NOTHING so they DO nothing and usually never lift a finger at all, yet they want to find "the one." A female these days even if borderline ugly doesn't have to put a scintilla of effort into finding her "match." Females who put in Effort are more often than not from the old world, and high interest from a woman in you is recognized by how motherly she is to you, getting you coffee, or calling to make sure you made it home or making your day easier by SERVING you around you.

 

[wifehunter]

Plates spin plates.