If your end goal is a stable, nice family with a loving wife; what is the best way to achieve this?

[ChristopherColumbus]

You know how people talk about girls that ride the cok-go-round, and then at 35 or so realize they are damaged goods?

Imagine the type of girl you're looking for. Sweet, innocent, loyal, low body count.

Think of how that girl lives her life.

What her social circle is like. Her parents. Her friends. The things she likes to do in her spare time.

Now think of the type of guy she dates. The type of guys her similar friends date.

Now think of you, the self described degenerate.

See the problem?

That's the problem with lifestyle choices. They do, in fact, have consequences. Not just for hoes.

People can change.

 

[Roober]

This was one of the problems with my marriage. I focused on the wife and kids rather than on personal goals such as my career aspirations and started to lose my sense of self.

Many many men do. They completely disregard the balance between pursuing their goals and taking care of their family.

Do you give up everything for your family? Certainly not!

Do you ignore your family in pursuit of your goals? Certainly not!

You cant ignore either part of your life and it can be a very difficult line to walk, one which has become increasingly difficult with the expectations of employers and the demands of family.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Well OP, I hope this helps:

I met this girl once. Beautiful, sexually inexperienced, young (I think she is about 23 by now), fun to be with, and super smart. I met her working at the State University.

I always next a girl who shows no signs of interest but she has been the exception. I fell for her about 6 years ago and I´m still trying LTR her to this day. I would marry her in a heartbeat if I could. But I digress..... My point was, I met her at the State University, so maybe that wouldn´t be the worst place to look for wife material.

What does this particular girl do in her free time? Little reunions with family and/or friends. A little eco-tourism. Watches Club of Crows on netflix, reads actual books(like, she ****ing loves books man, for real!!!!!), and yes, every now and then she goes to party when it´s one of her girlfriend´s b-day party but she doesn´t drink any alcohol.

 

[corrector]

Only one place bro. Fantasy Island.

So, you make good $$$. Ready to part with 70% of it? Get married, then divorced and split the assets 50/50, plus spousal maintenance / alimony, plus child support (anywhere from 19% - 39% of your GROSS income), plus life insurance, plus medical insurance, plus full college until 26.

It may not be that way for him.

Marriage is the most important contract you will ever sign. It still amazes me how many people go into it blindly and then exit it saying WTF just happened when they are financially and emotionally raped by the system.

It's not just a contract that you just sign. It's an OATH before God. If this man intends to be going to church then he better have that mindset when talking to women or he'll throw off allot of prospects. No Christian woman going to deal with a guy who thinks marriage is just a contract.

What you're looking for no longer exists. I too thought that many moons ago. It's a fallacy. You might of had a chance if you got them young, 18 - 20, but now, it's just not worth the risk. Most cannot cook anyway; let alone clean or take care of children.

I got married and divorced quick, however, even if the marriage fails, I think psychologically it's a net positive because it still feels like you accomplished something and some part of the mind is at a peaceful rest. I can't put my finger on it, but all I can say is it's still worth a try because his goals are honorable.

 

[R.U.G.]

It's not just a contract that you just sign. It's an OATH before God. If this man intends to be going to church then he better have that mindset when talking to women or he'll throw off allot of prospects. No Christian woman going to deal with a guy who thinks marriage is just a contract.

That's cute you think like that. Happens all the time; at least in NYC. Not saying it's right or wrong, just a fact of life.

I got married and divorced quick, however, even if the marriage fails, I think psychologically it's a net positive because it still feels like you accomplished something and some part of the mind is at a peaceful rest. I can't put my finger on it, but all I can say is it's still worth a try because his goals are honorable.

Yea, as did I. However, I will have to disagree with you thinking it was worth a try. In this day and age, it isn't. Way too much to lose.

 

[corrector]

Yea, as did I. However, I will have to disagree with you thinking it was worth a try. In this day and age, it isn't. Way too much to lose.

Well, you don't really have to worry about marrying again if you did it once and people get off your back asking "when is x,yz, going to get married, did he find someone yet?". Just to get rid of that in nonsense itself is worth the price of admission. Like it's still one less on the bucket list. Let's face it, getting married is higher up there then allot of other things in terms of how far you can get with a woman.
Because my marriage and divorce was so epic and spectacular I can say nobody cares about this anymore. It was a spectacular wedding followed by an epic triple-fail.

 

[highSpeed]

the best way to achieve this is to leave this idea to the fairy tale you got it from. look, I get it and I am in the same boat with you, I'd prefer this type of arrangement. as many of the other guys on here are pointing out, there are many, many, many reasons that this is an extremely unlikely situation for you to run into. you'd be better off going out and panning for gold, hoping to strike it rich. you'd be better off sinking all of your next few paychecks into the lotto in hopes of winning the jackpot. betting on modern day women in today's landmine of a legal society we live in, that's a fool's errand.

take it from a guy who thought, oh, I couldn't possibly get into a second bad marriage, I know better now. no respect, no sex, no control over my life generally, that's what awaits the vast majority of men once they get into marriage, me included. we make that mistake because we want that type of partnership in life but that's not what the vast majority of women offer. they offer the high of the initial relationship, the high of vast amounts of sex. it's like taking someone out to the bar, getting them drunk, promising them the world and then leading them into a bad business deal where no matter how crappy of a business partner they are, they get half of the assets and half of the money when they bail out of the business. a lot of us, we'd unfortunately be much more likely to enter into that arrangement when we're drunk, same thing that most women do when the ply you with sex early on in the relationship, it's to get you too drunk to think straight when they hit you with the sh*tty business deal.

 

[persuasion]

Unless you are God, there is no guarantee for what you're asking.

"Nice family"
- No one has the formula for this.
- You just find yourself having children and having to make the most of it.

"A loving wife"
- Brother, listen. She is just a human being. And just like you, she is unpredicatble. Any woman can be good and faithful for a couple of months or years. Then one day you wake up to a monster you never saw coming.

You think those church girls are saints don't you. Haha!

I have "had" a couple of those. Surprisingly easy too. What makes anyone think that they can find a good girl in church is simply beyond me. We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. All the chirch girls have their eyes on the Pastor or the Pastor's son or the chaps with highest SMV there anyways. So there.

You find a good woman by looking at her heart, her intentions (if she reveals them) and how she treats other people. If she's kind-hearted, and is not afraid to say that she would love to share her future with you and have dozens of kids, and if you simply wouldn't mind sharing all you have with her, then brother listen carefully: You can find her anywhere. Here are places: Library, on a train, at the beach, at the grocery store, by the stairs, in the lift, at a get-together, at a soccer match. Literally anywhere.

Just find her and roll your dice.

 

[Murk]

You know how people talk about girls that ride the cok-go-round, and then at 35 or so realize they are damaged goods?

Imagine the type of girl you're looking for. Sweet, innocent, loyal, low body count.

Think of how that girl lives her life.

What her social circle is like. Her parents. Her friends. The things she likes to do in her spare time.

Now think of the type of guy she dates. The type of guys her similar friends date.

Now think of you, the self described degenerate.

See the problem?

That's the problem with lifestyle choices. They do, in fact, have consequences. Not just for hoes.

Very disingenuous to insinuate he (and others) can't turn their life around. It's not rocket science, you just stop doing fvcked up things.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Very disingenuous to insinuate he (and others) can't turn their life around. It's not rocket science, you just stop doing fvcked up things.

They'd have to change a bunch of things to change this. Even lose or back off of some friends. Such a change wouldn't take 3 days, 3 months it take 3 years or greater.

 

[Murk]

They'd have to change a bunch of things to change this. Even lose or back off of some friends. Such a change wouldn't take 3 days, 3 months it take 3 years or greater.

He could just stop partying tomorrow and stop getting peer pressured to go out so much.

I'm in the process of doing the same ever since I made that thread about having an alcohol problem - that was like 2 months ago and I've come a long way.

 

[devilkingx2]

Marry religious women from the third world

Fun story about that. The other day i had a falling out with a religious muslim girl who is literally from the middle east and only vacations to the US (she doesn't even live here)

for some reason she got super mad at me for not being jealous when she stopped texting me for a while and came back to say she had been messing around with two guys instead. (Apparently i should've been very upset and shown that i cared... Or some **** like that)

 

[mrgoodstuff]

He could just stop partying tomorrow and stop getting peer pressured to go out so much.

I'm in the process of doing the same ever since I made that thread about having an alcohol problem - that was like 2 months ago and I've come a long way.

If you have one addiction or compulsion you likely have others. For the women addicted to switching out guys, new dyck, new guy etc. You think she can just shut that off and switch to bonding and closeness? Shes run away from this all this time but now it's Important?

And if times get hard she's not going to revert to her old compulsive behavior of wanting to explore what's new?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Very disingenuous to insinuate he (and others) can't turn their life around. It's not rocket science, you just stop doing fvcked up things.

Most people can't. Fat people being the clearest example. Only about 2% of fat adults who lose weight keep it off.

Not eating when you are hungry is braindead simple. Yet people CAN'T manage to do that.

Changing social behavior is much more difficult.

Based on STATISTICS, once a fatty, always a fatty.

Once a degenerate, always a degenerate.

As much as sights like this claim, once you are on a life trajectory, the longer it lasts, the HARDER it is to change.

At the same time, people cling to the belief that they can REALLY CHANGE if they REALLY WANT to.

They're just not quite ready yet.

Ever.

 

[IKO69]

Most people can't. Fat people being the clearest example. Only about 2% of fat adults who lose weight keep it off.

Not eating when you are hungry is braindead simple. Yet people CAN'T manage to do that.

Changing social behavior is much more difficult.

Based on STATISTICS, once a fatty, always a fatty.

Once a degenerate, always a degenerate.

As much as sights like this claim, once you are on a life trajectory, the longer it lasts, the HARDER it is to change.

At the same time, people cling to the belief that they can REALLY CHANGE if they REALLY WANT to.

They're just not quite ready yet.

Ever.

You are absolutely correct which is why you'll find many of the men that come here looking for answers will never progress. Even when it's blatantly clear what it is that should be done, most poeple would rather just stay where they are (even if they are SUFFERING) rather than move past their comfort zone

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Most people can't. Fat people being the clearest example. Only about 2% of fat adults who lose weight keep it off.

Not eating when you are hungry is braindead simple. Yet people CAN'T manage to do that.

Changing social behavior is much more difficult.

Based on STATISTICS, once a fatty, always a fatty.

Once a degenerate, always a degenerate.

As much as sights like this claim, once you are on a life trajectory, the longer it lasts, the HARDER it is to change.

At the same time, people cling to the belief that they can REALLY CHANGE if they REALLY WANT to.

They're just not quite ready yet.

Ever.

If they wanted to they would take care of it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You are absolutely correct which is why you'll find many of the men that come here looking for answers will never progress. Even when it's blatantly clear what it is that should be done, most poeple would rather just stay where they are (even if they are SUFFERING) rather than move past their comfort zone

Part of the sosuave.com recovery would be getting the fvck off this website, stop complaining and get to living.

 

[Fzatf]

Relationships just don't last like they use to. If a women gets bored, feels inconvenienced, or decided to divorce on a whim, you can expect to lose half your stuff and end up likely paying for child support and alimony. 50% of marriages end in divorce with 80% of divorces filed by women.

It's a lot of risk with the hope of ending up in the minority that lasts. Even if you don't divorce, there's a good chance you'll end up in the unhappily married category. I married once and am now paying child support. I don't plan to ever marry again.

If you still want to risk it, know you're making your own bed and that you were warned.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

If they wanted to they would take care of it.

Most people don't. That's my point. Wanting to ENOUGH is the issue. Wishing it were easy is not the same as wanting to enough.

Plenty of fat people WISH they were skinny. But they don't want to lose weight ENOUGH to actually go through the LONG DIFFICULT PROCESS of actually doing it.

Plenty of people here WISH it were easier to get laid. But they don't WANT TO ENOUGH to go through the many YEARS of self development. It's much easier to BLAME THE MARKET.

 

[corrector]

I married once and am now paying child support. I don't plan to ever marry again.

But you still have a child. An heir to your throne. I have no child myself and have no biological print in this world to perpetuate myself genetically to the next generation. You now have a small version of yourself that exists. A child. That in itself is not a big deal to you?