Need some legit advice here

[mrgoodstuff]

She hit me up tonight. Told her I think she’s using me for validation and she got all offended. I pretty much told her I’m a man I don’t do texting games /relationships and wished her good luck with everything.

She’s a 9. She’s educated and successful. But her personality is one of the worst I’ve ever encountered. I was really fooled because when I originally met her she gave me a totally different impression. Fun, outgoing, and popular. As I got to know her I learned she was the exact opposite. No friends, cold towards her family and men she’s dated, narcissistic beyond belief, flaky etc.

You shouldn't have told her how your mind thinks.

You'd really have to ignore this one till she's trying to see you badly.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So I knew a dude who had dealt with one like this and to force her to Invest he said his car is broke down but he'll give her the gas money. It got her to come to him.

 

[fastlife]

Asked a chick I've been gaming for a few months to be my girlfriend the other day. Shes been leaving me hints for a little while now. In most cases I would not recommend asking a chick to be your gf because in MOST cases you **** the girl until she falls for you and at that point she asks you to be exclusive but this chick is different she doesn't have ONS or casual sex. I wouldn't recommend pursuing a chick as long as i did if she wasn't putting out either but again this was an exception.

This chick knows Im good with women and is having doubts that I am going to commit. How do I show her that I'm serious about being exclusive without sounding like a ***** and giving up my balls? Usually its the chick that asks me to commit, I don't worry about a girl being exclusive to me because I know when you give a girl good sex and always keep your frame she has no reason to leave and is the one usually to ask you to stop seeing other people. Again this situation is different. Plus could actually see myself with her. I would like something more serious at this point in my life boys.

hints
-she likes being possessed
-she's into crazy guys...so its a good match I guess lol
-she's got major trust issues with men

@BeExcellent & @RangerMIke bring up some great points...BUT I dont think they're applicable here, for this particular girl. This isn't about sex, it's about her establishing the frame and you chasing your tail trying to figure out how you can qualify to her frame.

Promiscuous or no (and my experience with this type--and I have a lot--tells me she is/was probably more promiscuous than you or her best friend are privy to), is neither here nor there. She isn't in the game for sex, except with guys where that is all they offer--to reinforce one side of her insecurity (that she isn't worthy of commitment, but that's a secondary goal). Her primary goal is to quell the other side of those same insecurities--that she can get other people to see her as being worthy of commitment. You care, so you're not a good fit for the secondary goal, and it's secondary anyway.

BUT you are a great source for alleviating her low sense of self worth. If women, generally speaking, value commitment/investment; and men, generally, value sex--then you have given away what she wants (even though she has no plans or capability to reciprocate that commitment--see how she deflects your efforts to commit) and all she has to do in dangle the possibility of sex without ever having to follow through. The fact that you have a reputation as a player only makes your offer more valuable to her--and she gets to spin the angle that 'she's different from other girls and so high value that she didn't give in to your charms even though you were desperate to lay yourself at her alter.'

Win win for her. Double bind for you. Feels great, don't it? How many more hoops are you willing to jump through? She only stands to lose value from the situation by A.) Sleeping with you or B.) Committing to you.

I know this sounds harsh--and your natural instinct will be to defend your frame, defend your investment, accuse me of psychoanalyzing someone over the internet based on incomplete information, etc. But I've been involved with this type enough and you've written enough that I would bet my life on my take of the situation. And I've had the opportunity of observing these types throughout the years to see how it goes.

Here's your play: and it's not what you want to hear, since, again, you're in a double bind and you won't be able to win the outcome you desire with this girl. You double down on the fact you're a fvckboy, you don't see her as worthy as commitment, and wait til she gets into an exclusive relationship with someone far more gullible & pliable than you. Good chance she comes around for sex. Or you try to become the gullible, spineless simp that she feels safe being 'exclusive' with & she'll find some other guy who fits the fvckboy profile. Remember, she has both sides of her insecurity she needs to address. But even then, you probably won't be convincing enough for Route 2. She's too sharp for that and you'll just lower your value in your own eyes and have to deal with the fallout from that.

Insecurity's a b1tch. I avoid it, as far as emotional investment, at all costs; though if I get that text--usually 3-6 months into whatever relationship these types get into, like clockwork--well, depending on how much I want her physically, I'll do what needs doing. But that pull you feel right now, that desperation you feel (your ego btw--you have your own set of insecurities you're trying to address), high self-esteem women don't make you feel that. Reread @BeExcellent's post. Note the type of proof & respect she sought from her man; compare it to this current girl. Different games for different outcomes--one is demanding or expecting due compensation for something of real value (from a place of self-respect); the other is extracting inflated compensation for false value (from a lack of self-respect).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@BeExcellent & @RangerMIke bring up some great points...BUT I dont think they're applicable here, for this particular girl. This isn't about sex, it's about her establishing the frame and you chasing your tail trying to figure out how you can qualify to her frame.

Promiscuous or no (and my experience with this type--and I have a lot--tells me she is/was probably more promiscuous than you or her best friend are privy to), is neither here nor there. She isn't in the game for sex, except with guys where that is all they offer--to reinforce one side of her insecurity (that she isn't worthy of commitment, but that's a secondary goal). Her primary goal is to quell the other side of those same insecurities--that she can get other people to see her as being worthy of commitment. You care, so you're not a good fit for the secondary goal, and it's secondary anyway.

BUT you are a great source for alleviating her low sense of self worth. If women, generally speaking, value commitment/investment; and men, generally, value sex--then you have given away what she wants (even though she has no plans or capability to reciprocate that commitment--see how she deflects your efforts to commit) and all she has to do in dangle the possibility of sex without ever having to follow through. The fact that you have a reputation as a player only makes your offer more valuable to her--and she gets to spin the angle that 'she's different from other girls and so high value that she didn't give in to your charms even though you were desperate to lay yourself at her alter.'

Win win for her. Double bind for you. Feels great, don't it? How many more hoops are you willing to jump through? She only stands to lose value from the situation by A.) Sleeping with you or B.) Committing to you.

I know this sounds harsh--and your natural instinct will be to defend your frame, defend your investment, accuse me of psychoanalyzing someone over the internet based on incomplete information, etc. But I've been involved with this type enough and you've written enough that I would bet my life on my take of the situation. And I've had the opportunity of observing these types throughout the years to see how it goes.

Here's your play: and it's not what you want to hear, since, again, you're in a double bind and you won't be able to win the outcome you desire with this girl. You double down on the fact you're a fvckboy, you don't see her as worthy as commitment, and wait til she gets into an exclusive relationship with someone far more gullible & pliable than you. Good chance she comes around for sex. Or you try to become the gullible, spineless simp that she feels safe being 'exclusive' with & she'll find some other guy who fits the fvckboy profile. Remember, she has both sides of her insecurity she needs to address. But even then, you probably won't be convincing enough for Route 2. She's too sharp for that and you'll just lower your value in your own eyes and have to deal with the fallout from that.

Insecurity's a b1tch. I avoid it, as far as emotional investment, at all costs; though if I get that text--usually 3-6 months into whatever relationship these types get into, like clockwork--well, depending on how much I want her physically, I'll do what needs doing. But that pull you feel right now, that desperation you feel (your ego btw--you have your own set of insecurities you're trying to address), high self-esteem women don't make you feel that. Reread @BeExcellent's post. Note the type of proof & respect she sought from her man; compare it to this current girl. Different games for different outcomes--one is demanding or expecting due compensation for something of real value (from a place of self-respect); the other is extracting inflated compensation for false value (from a lack of self-respect).

I believe your analysis 110%. There are enough of these types out there and you understand what he's up against.

 

[captain55]

@BeExcellent & @RangerMIke bring up some great points...BUT I dont think they're applicable here, for this particular girl. This isn't about sex, it's about her establishing the frame and you chasing your tail trying to figure out how you can qualify to her frame.

Promiscuous or no (and my experience with this type--and I have a lot--tells me she is/was probably more promiscuous than you or her best friend are privy to), is neither here nor there. She isn't in the game for sex, except with guys where that is all they offer--to reinforce one side of her insecurity (that she isn't worthy of commitment, but that's a secondary goal). Her primary goal is to quell the other side of those same insecurities--that she can get other people to see her as being worthy of commitment. You care, so you're not a good fit for the secondary goal, and it's secondary anyway.

BUT you are a great source for alleviating her low sense of self worth. If women, generally speaking, value commitment/investment; and men, generally, value sex--then you have given away what she wants (even though she has no plans or capability to reciprocate that commitment--see how she deflects your efforts to commit) and all she has to do in dangle the possibility of sex without ever having to follow through. The fact that you have a reputation as a player only makes your offer more valuable to her--and she gets to spin the angle that 'she's different from other girls and so high value that she didn't give in to your charms even though you were desperate to lay yourself at her alter.'

Win win for her. Double bind for you. Feels great, don't it? How many more hoops are you willing to jump through? She only stands to lose value from the situation by A.) Sleeping with you or B.) Committing to you.

I know this sounds harsh--and your natural instinct will be to defend your frame, defend your investment, accuse me of psychoanalyzing someone over the internet based on incomplete information, etc. But I've been involved with this type enough and you've written enough that I would bet my life on my take of the situation. And I've had the opportunity of observing these types throughout the years to see how it goes.

Here's your play: and it's not what you want to hear, since, again, you're in a double bind and you won't be able to win the outcome you desire with this girl. You double down on the fact you're a fvckboy, you don't see her as worthy as commitment, and wait til she gets into an exclusive relationship with someone far more gullible & pliable than you. Good chance she comes around for sex. Or you try to become the gullible, spineless simp that she feels safe being 'exclusive' with & she'll find some other guy who fits the fvckboy profile. Remember, she has both sides of her insecurity she needs to address. But even then, you probably won't be convincing enough for Route 2. She's too sharp for that and you'll just lower your value in your own eyes and have to deal with the fallout from that.

Insecurity's a b1tch. I avoid it, as far as emotional investment, at all costs; though if I get that text--usually 3-6 months into whatever relationship these types get into, like clockwork--well, depending on how much I want her physically, I'll do what needs doing. But that pull you feel right now, that desperation you feel (your ego btw--you have your own set of insecurities you're trying to address), high self-esteem women don't make you feel that. Reread @BeExcellent's post. Note the type of proof & respect she sought from her man; compare it to this current girl. Different games for different outcomes--one is demanding or expecting due compensation for something of real value (from a place of self-respect); the other is extracting inflated compensation for false value (from a lack of self-respect).

Excellent post and I agree with you. This chick is promiscuous that I know, she’s a very sexual person....was very open with me about everything. I just know she doesn’t have one night stands and only has sex with guys she’s in relationships with. Her best friend is my brothers wife she tells me everything.

The reason I’m mad that I didn’t hit this is because she pursued me initially. I should of had it in the bag. I was sucking on her tits in the parking lot...I made out with her every time I saw her. She saw other high value women desiring me. Most women at that point will **** you. But she never put out. Usually when I get to that point I’m in.

Your observation about her being sharp is correct she’s very intelligent. And at the end of the day I did just want to **** her initially. Maybe I am just a ****boy, can’t change who I am.

She even said to me these exact words. “You just have something about you that makes you down and makes girls submissive to you. I can imagine how easily you could **** someone if that was your intention”

Me “haha thanks”

Her “I don’t think you realize how hard it is for me to not **** You”

At that point I started getting annoyed with her. Started to have my doubts she was ****ty in bed as well because st that point 99.9999% the chick puts out in my experience. Just killed the momentum/vibe for me.

 

[captain55]

I will say this. I am a ****boy I told her I wanted a relationship because I just wanted to bang her

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I will say this. I am a ****boy I told her I wanted a relationship because I just wanted to bang her

Oh. Do the needful.

 

[fastlife]

I will say this. I am a ****boy I told her I wanted a relationship because I just wanted to bang her

Probably played your hand a little early lol. Covert > Overt. That was your ego needing to feel like it 'won.'

Making girls feel badly about themselves or revealing the dubious nature of your intentions is almost never effective--one, instead of engaging in introspection or changing her behavior she'll just go Oh, @captain55 = bad feelz. He must be bad. Avoid. Two, it sets a negative frame for any further interaction and now she knows how the movie ends. No point sticking things out to see what happens next.

Even if a girl is 100% responsible for the fact that I have no intentions of investing in her, I'll put all that on me or turn it into something fun. I.E., If I were younger, you'd have me hook, line , and sinker. But I'm onto you. You're trouble. Or, You're an awesome girl and'll make some guy super happy, but I know myself...I'm dead inside...I'd just hurt you and wouldn't be able to give you what you want...It's too bad we have so much chemistry. You know, the whole jaded guy, star-crossed lover stuff (there's a reason it figures heavily into every romance novel ever.)

 

[captain55]

Probably played your hand a little early lol. Covert > Overt. That was your ego needing to feel like it 'won.'

Making girls feel badly about themselves or revealing the dubious nature of your intentions is almost never effective--one, instead of engaging in introspection or changing her behavior she'll just go Oh, @captain55 = bad feelz. He must be bad. Avoid. Two, it sets a negative frame for any further interaction and now she knows how the movie ends. No point sticking things out to see what happens next.

Even if a girl is 100% responsible for the fact that I have no intentions of investing in her, I'll put all that on me or turn it into something fun. I.E., If I were younger, you'd have me hook, line , and sinker. But I'm onto you. You're trouble. Or, You're an awesome girl and'll make some guy super happy, but I know myself...I'm dead inside...I'd just hurt you and wouldn't be able to give you what you want...It's too bad we have so much chemistry. You know, the whole jaded guy, star-crossed lover stuff (there's a reason it figures heavily into every romance novel ever.)

She called me today. Was really surprised, I think she wants to get to know me but knows my intentions. I’m going to try something completely different...something I’ve never done before gonna try and be her friend