Need some legit advice here

[mrgoodstuff]

Ok this


We’ve been talking for three months and we’ve gone out four times. The big hint for me was when she said “I just feel like your going to make me your gf if we hang out a lot and I’m not ready for that” (even though I never once mentioned this to her or acted attached to her in the slightest. I would actually disappear on her from time to time)

I said what do you mean? I never said that

She goes “You like me ...you want to take me away on weekends, you want to be the only guy that I am sleeping with”
(Even though I never once said any of this to her lol)

She also would say things like “maybe you put up with my bs cause you want me to be all yours”

How do I let this chick know I’m not just interested in ****ing her? I don’t wanna go full beta and embarrass myself here but she does admit to me she likes crazy guys so maybe I’ll foloow her when she gets off from work if she refuses to meet up with me and force her to talk. She will probably get off to it

I still haven’t hit her up since we last spoke I’m waiting for her to contact me

She ain't the only female using those lines these days. Date someone else don't worry. You and this girl have nothing till your fvcking. She was concerned about you wanting to lock her down. So you gotta let her know u all aren't even at the right place to worry about this yet ( cause ur not fvcking her )

 

[MrJack]

The next time this happens, when you have a woman beating around the bushes with 'hints' then you need to pin her down, if this is what you want. Without knowing exactly what the 'hints' were, I can't tell if what she was doing really was hinting around. So it would be helpful if you would post exactly what she said to you and how long you guys have been casually dating... then specific advice can be given.

Seldom will a chick who wants you exclusively just come out and say this, especially if you are dating her properly, because she is going to be confused where she stands..... it usually comes in some sort of "What are we doing?" sort of comment, or "Where do you think this is going?" There is a great example of how you should handle this in the movie "Big" when the character portrayed by Tom Hanks is asked this question by the character portrayed by Elizabeth Perkins. The Hank's character doesn't know what she is getting at because he is a child trapped in a man's body, so he is REALLY 'confused' by the question... which is exactly how you should handle this. Your response should be "What do you mean?" Make her come out and say it.... then you joke around a bit, to lighten the tension, until she just comes out and says she wants exclusivity. Depending on what you want this is how you handle it:

You want a relationship: You start laying the ground work for what the relationship is going to look like. Try not to leave too much in the air, but if you have things you MUST have, or things you WONT do, then you need to get this out then. Then you find out what her wants and needs, and decide if you are willing to live with that. It's like buying a car and you are working out the best deal with the car salesman. If you walk on a car lot and the salesman KNOWS you want a particular car, he has you by the balls, and he will be able to extract out the most in that deal. The best way to get the most out of a deal is to tell the car salesman what you must have, including the max you are willing to pay, and he has to believe that if you don't get what you want you'll go someplace else. This does a couple of things for you, it let's the chick know you are not a push-over and will just settle for anything, AND most important, it makes her put effort into getting and keeping you, because the most effort she puts into this, the more she will value you.

If you don't want a relationship: Well this is easy.... you still act confused by what she means, and you still joke around with her, but then when she makes things clear about what she wants, you HONESTLY tell her that you like her and want to keep seeing her, but that you don't want to complicate things and you prefer things stay as they are. Now... you have to be prepared that she is going to pull away after this and you have to let this happen and not go chasing after her when she goes cold. In my experience, depending on how much she wants you, she might work harder to make you happy, then she will circle around again in 2 or 3 months, and if you still balk at a relationship, you will start to lose her gradually... and you have to let this happen. If you do not want a relationship it isn't fair to you or her to carry on a charade just for regular $ex.

Great post. My only thing is, do women actually think a guy is going to want or even KNOW if he wants a relationship with a particular girl when they haven’t even had sex yet?

Like in some of their minds do they actually think that’s the way to go about starting a relationship with someone they WANT a relationship with? By denying sex? Hard for me to judge whether that’s low interest or “waiting for the right time”

I realize that a girl who wants an LTR doesn’t want to give up all her value at first and seem slvtty but I mean after knowing each other for over a month with 3-4 dates spread in there, it’s either she has low interest and just in it for attention or she actually believes this is some magical fairy tail that must play out because “he’s the one”.

I’m asking for myself and my scenario lol but it applies to OP as well. So confusing.

 

[MrJack]

Ok this


We’ve been talking for three months and we’ve gone out four times. The big hint for me was when she said “I just feel like your going to make me your gf if we hang out a lot and I’m not ready for that” (even though I never once mentioned this to her or acted attached to her in the slightest. I would actually disappear on her from time to time)

I said what do you mean? I never said that

She goes “You like me ...you want to take me away on weekends, you want to be the only guy that I am sleeping with”
(Even though I never once said any of this to her lol)

She also would say things like “maybe you put up with my bs cause you want me to be all yours”

How do I let this chick know I’m not just interested in ****ing her? I don’t wanna go full beta and embarrass myself here but she does admit to me she likes crazy guys so maybe I’ll foloow her when she gets off from work if she refuses to meet up with me and force her to talk. She will probably get off to it

I still haven’t hit her up since we last spoke I’m waiting for her to contact me

She did mention when I first started talking to her she likes being friends with a guy before she gets physical with him but that’s not really my style I like to escalate quickly

These sound like shyt tests of some sort to me. If so, I’d just be indifferent like “We aren’t together, we can both do what we want. We don’t owe each other anything blah blah.”

Either way she seems pretty crazy lol. Might not be a long lasting relationship even if it does end up happening. What you are seeing is just the surface IMO.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She's grooming him for orbiting. She hasn't fvcked him yet and said that she bet he'd try to make her his girlfriend if they hung out alot, but that "I'm not ready for that right now".

She wondered if he could deal with her sleeping with other dudes.

So here goes what's going on. This babe is a ho3. She's partying and having fun. She senses your thirst and Interest and is more mature in game than you.

You have to withdraw Attention. Forget that notion of making this bytch your girlfriend. She figured that out.

She basically told you all the AFC and non player things you will do with someone of her "Calibre".

You need to tell her

"I don't know why your talking about relationship stuff cause we haven't did nothing yet!".

Then "how the hell I know you won't be stalking me after you get the Dee?".

Withdraw time and attention s f I hope your ****ing someone else. This bytch strung you along for four dates and haven't gave you no puzzy

Then had the Nerve to tease you about it.

She called you "inexperienced".

She's a ho. She knows vets would've fvcked by third date or been out.

 

[BeExcellent]

Wish she knew I was serious

Advice from the old lady (this is long so be warned):

This is what happens when your hard earned reputation as a player preceeds you. It becomes a major obstacle to any woman worth having precisely because girls know you are a habitual pump & dump dude and the smart girls with standards and self esteem do not want to be pump & dumped. So where does that leave you and what do you do?

I'll give you several insights and tips which may help you dependent on what you want but also dependent on who she is as a person. I'll also page @fastlife if he's around because a number of his contributions around here speak to the key things I'm about to cover.

The first variable of significance is her self esteem. Men who are players will wreck a woman's self esteem if it is not inherently solid. Meaning a player's desirability to myriad other women often has the effect of creating serious insecurity in the woman the player is dating. Perhaps this seems like a good thing at first, as player type men often like to see their desirability shown in displays of jealousy in the woman they are seeing but it will get old fast, feel suffocating and will begin to repel the man. A woman with high self esteem will not allow you the sexual conquest right away in many cases. This is because she knows once she allows you the sexual conquest much of her leverage is lost. A woman who knows she has lots to offer will allow you the sexual conquest and will know that she has what it takes to hold your interest AFTER you've had sex with her. She will know she has more than sex to offer and she will know she is herself desirable. SO first you need to observe her behavior for signs of high self esteem. Handling you with humor (as she is doing) can be a good indicator. That ties into my second point, which has to do with you...

The second variable of significance is your level of investment as indicated by you spending time with her. By time with her I mean live face to face interactions and telephone conversations. Texting is very low investment. It can be done on a trip to the men's room while out with someone else or while sarging. So I am not counting texting although it is a type of investment, it is low investment compared to dates or calls (in that order.) So I am talking dates or telephone calls where you spend significant time on the phone. This woman only been out with you 3 or 4 times. That is not very much in a 3 month period. That is less than 1 date every 2 weeks. Let's do the math. If you are only seeing her once every 3 weeks you obviously have tons of time away from her doing whatever else it is that you do. Translation: You have a player reputation and you do not make this girl a priority to spend much time with. Now after 4 dates in 3 months you are saying you'd like to be her boyfriend? Do you not see how incongruent your words are to your behavior? I'd be wary as hell with you. She wisely is making the assumption that if you are not with her you are out with other women etc. because you are not spending much time with her. You can't fake time investment. She thinks you are throwing out the girlfriend tag in name only (since your actions don't support that level of interest/investment) just to get in her pants.

Contrast that with the man I'm seeing...a man with a serious player reputation...who initiates, calls, texts, asks me out, comes to my place, picks me up, takes me out very regularly, and leaves no doubt through his action and consistency over time that he is interested AND invested in me and the relationship. And he has always done this from the beginning. And my guy placed the "girlfriend/boyfriend" labels on the relationship...but his progression to that point was accompanied by actions that were in line with that relationship status. And make no mistake, he does as he pleases and he leads and he is not "beta"...so he's not doing this from a place of weakness or lack of options. He is doing this from a place of choice. The fact that he SHOWS me through actions and investment that he is serious about me and us goes a long way toward mitigating the inherent other downside to dating a player, which is that other women desire him (especially since he's "taken") and other women are ruthless in their tactics to come onto him (and to be perfectly frank he relishes the attetion - which is fine to a point). Cue high self esteem, which allows me to deal with the landscape (as well as some of his behavior) and remain confident and generally unphased by everything yet prepared to exercise standards and pull the plug if necessary. That is not a line which is easy for a woman to walk successfully.

So in conclusion if you really think you like this girl (I'm not sure you can know fully just yet) then forget about the girlfriend label and forget about concentrating on getting laid for the immediate moment...you need to spend more time with her, have more dates with her and make the time investment in her..get to know her and see if you like her as a person. Obviously you want to be sexually direct (if you can pull that off) and seeking to escalate and build the sexual tension between you, but you need to see her in person to do this. In other words you SHOW her that you are serious. You never tell her, you show her, especially since you carry that reputation. Your actions have to do the talking for you. Nothing my guy does indicates that he is placating me or coming into my frame. He is choosing me consistently and in response I continue to choose him. We both have lots of other options, which keeps things interesting, keeps mutual desire ignited and maintains boundaries as well.

She doesn't have "trust issues" so much as she knows better than to trust you based on the inconsistency in your words versus your behavior. Actions tell the story with a player. Words are BS. Your actions need to speak more clearly because right now your actions are telling her you want to label her your girlfriend, get laid and then decide whether or not to keep seeing her. She's smart. I'll give you that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hey captain55. My advice was from 2018, my lady and her friends are upper 20's to 35. They all use the same language. They play the same games. They like to string along guys who like them alot. They get favors and attention from these guys.

They chase the guys (they gossip) on their grapevinr that they really want like a bunch of "thirsty guys". The guys they want usually don't want them at all.

At this point no matter what she's saying or how she says she is you need to get the lay.

I think she's playing around trying to be "cooler" than you.

Most girls that age don't care about a "player" label, it actually excited them.

Don't worry about a relationship that's for her to do.

You need to be spending your time where you have high interest. In my opinion this one is stringing you along a little.

BeExcellent has given great advice but much of it is from relationship angle. Most of the kids brought up today where taught to date multiple people. The parents thought that would keep them from attaching and felt this would be better
for them, but what it really did is created a generation of mostly ho's. That's the value system that WON out.

She's treating you like a "rookie".

Get your game face on. This can't be your girl cause she hasn't even fvcked.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

By the way they do this to guys who like them so much to wear their balls. Your balls might as well not exist till your hitting it regularly. They are all running these games.

Take orbiters balls and control and feed it to the guy she's pursuing who doesn't give two ****s about her.

 

[RangerMIke]

Great post. My only thing is, do women actually think a guy is going to want or even KNOW if he wants a relationship with a particular girl when they haven’t even had sex yet?

Like in some of their minds do they actually think that’s the way to go about starting a relationship with someone they WANT a relationship with? By denying sex? Hard for me to judge whether that’s low interest or “waiting for the right time”

I realize that a girl who wants an LTR doesn’t want to give up all her value at first and seem slvtty but I mean after knowing each other for over a month with 3-4 dates spread in there, it’s either she has low interest and just in it for attention or she actually believes this is some magical fairy tail that must play out because “he’s the one”.

I’m asking for myself and my scenario lol but it applies to OP as well. So confusing.

Women are very intuitive, if you really like her, there is a VERY good chance she already knows this without you doing much of anything.

@BeExcellent in her post actually brings up some good points on sex and dating. If you are dating just to get sex, chicks will know this, like I said... they can pick up on this based on your behavior. If you are working too hard to please her, she will pick up on this as an effort to manipulate her pants off. Look.... all women know we want sex... that is a given, but if she thinks you are running some kind of game just for that... well you are going to meet resistance. I don't have this problem because I don't date to get sex... I date to have fun. I figure out what I WANT to do, and then invite women along that I think will have fun doing the same thing I've already got planned. If sex happens, great! But I never expect it. Truth is that if you have this mindset, sex is going to happen a lot more than if you actually had the goal of sex.

I have a reputation as a man that dates a lot of women, a player if you will. But I do not have a reputation of being a 'pump and dump' player... There is a difference. I can only think of one time in the last three years where a woman I was sleeping with I ghosted on and disappeared, and I really hated doing that but she ended up being so bat sh!t crazy she refused to listen to what I was saying. Most women I date, THEY end up breaking things off when they realize I'm not going to commit to exclusivity. My challenge is just finding women that are okay with just casual dating. One that I've been doing this with we've dated for 2 years, another almost 3. These women are gold for me, neither wants a commitment either, they want their freedom, no strings, and occasionally sex. Most I will date for a few months, and when they don't get a commitment... they go looking elsewhere, sometimes they come back.... some times they don't, but they are the ones that break things off not me.

A woman that REALLY likes you will want to have sex with you, but if she thinks that is all you care about she won't pull the trigger and let that happen for the reason @BeExcellent points out. So in my experience the best approach is (1) Date for fun not for sex: sex should just happen and not be a goal. (2) NEVER talk about what you do with women EVER. Not to your buds, not to anyone. Intimacy should stay that way. Now she likely will tell her friends everything, and there is nothing you can do about that. But never get a reputation that you are bragging about your conquests, because that sh!t gets around. (3) Keep looking for women that want what you have and are willing to offer, and don't get butt hurt when things don't go the way you planned. (4) Be HONEST about what you want, this includes being consistent and true to your nature. Never lie to women in the hopes of getting what you want. (5) And when things have run their course, just let it go. Trying to control women is a waste of time, all it's going to do is drive her away and/or get yourself in trouble.

 

[MrJack]

Women are very intuitive, if you really like her, there is a VERY good chance she already knows this without you doing much of anything.

@BeExcellent in her post actually brings up some good points on sex and dating. If you are dating just to get sex, chicks will know this, like I said... they can pick up on this based on your behavior. If you are working too hard to please her, she will pick up on this as an effort to manipulate her pants off. Look.... all women know we want sex... that is a given, but if she thinks you are running some kind of game just for that... well you are going to meet resistance. I don't have this problem because I don't date to get sex... I date to have fun. I figure out what I WANT to do, and then invite women along that I think will have fun doing the same thing I've already got planned. If sex happens, great! But I never expect it. Truth is that if you have this mindset, sex is going to happen a lot more than if you actually had the goal of sex.

I have a reputation as a man that dates a lot of women, a player if you will. But I do not have a reputation of being a 'pump and dump' player... There is a difference. I can only think of one time in the last three years where a woman I was sleeping with I ghosted on and disappeared, and I really hated doing that but she ended up being so bat sh!t crazy she refused to listen to what I was saying. Most women I date, THEY end up breaking things off when they realize I'm not going to commit to exclusivity. My challenge is just finding women that are okay with just casual dating. One that I've been doing this with we've dated for 2 years, another almost 3. These women are gold for me, neither wants a commitment either, they want their freedom, no strings, and occasionally sex. Most I will date for a few months, and when they don't get a commitment... they go looking elsewhere, sometimes they come back.... some times they don't, but they are the ones that break things off not me.

A woman that REALLY likes you will want to have sex with you, but if she thinks that is all you care about she won't pull the trigger and let that happen for the reason @BeExcellent points out. So in my experience the best approach is (1) Date for fun not for sex: sex should just happen and not be a goal. (2) NEVER talk about what you do with women EVER. Not to your buds, not to anyone. Intimacy should stay that way. Now she likely will tell her friends everything, and there is nothing you can do about that. But never get a reputation that you are bragging about your conquests, because that sh!t gets around. (3) Keep looking for women that want what you have and are willing to offer, and don't get butt hurt when things don't go the way you planned. (4) Be HONEST about what you want, this includes being consistent and true to your nature. Never lie to women in the hopes of getting what you want. (5) And when things have run their course, just let it go. Trying to control women is a waste of time, all it's going to do is drive her away and/or get yourself in trouble.

I think in my case it was the opposite and she didn’t know if I liked her or not due to me maybe playing it TOO cool.

Yea I don’t “kiss and tell” ever but my mistake was chatting up too many other women that night and then when it was all said and done and she denied me by the end of the night, she found me the next morning waking up in my bed with 2 other girls in our social circle.

Didn’t even do anything with either of them they just needed a place to sleep because there was nowhere else lol. They both have some attraction towards me though.

I know the girl who denied has basic attraction for me still but with her hinting towards being the relationship kinda girl, I pretty much accidentally shoved the notion in her face that I’m not that type of guy and that’s probs why we haven’t spoken since then.

Funny thing is I’d probs be down for relationship with her if we were sexually compatible but I never got to find that out and the ship has sailed in her mind I believe.

Oh well

 

[Roober]

@BeExcellent gave some sound advice. And when having issues with women, it can often boil down to the amount of congruence between someone's actions and their words. @RangerMIke touched on this as well.

Think of all social interactions like a game; hence the word "game" itself. With your actions and your words, you have set the rules. The key point I make is that YOU set the rules, not her.

-Player 1 is a sex machine, unwilling to commit, very aloof (4 dates in 3 months), emotionally unavailable, etc.

-Player 2 is unwilling to sex without a relationship, emotionally unavailable, enjoys attention, gets attention from player 1, etc.

Now, you have changed the rules as you are suddenly ready to commit. This is an aweful idea in any interpersonal relationship because it leaves the other player confused. In the simplest terms, think about "peek a boo" with a baby. If you dont uncover your eyes, the baby will get upset or grab your hand (that's not fair!). If you scare the baby, they may cry in terror or laugh hysterically (unpredictable).

How can a woman trust a man who doesn't follow his own rules? There is something talking to her, this is that little thing we call a conscience. It's what happens, usually in your belly or your heart, where the difference between actions and words of another individual causes an emotional disturbance. Is someone going to gravitate towards something that is confusing or are they going to go with a more comfortable path? It's part of the reason why silence and distance work well; its causes an uncertainty in the other person leaving them thinking.. "what did I do wrong?"

So the main keys here are...
-first, dont set ridiculous rules. My lady knew I was a busy boy, but I d certainly didnt tell her anything. A womans imagination is the greatest tool in a mans toolbelt.
-second, dont change your rules. This is what we call here... pedestalization. Putting the woman above yourself.
-lastly, you want her to request the rules to change (ie ask for a relationship), and you consider it, but you only do it because it provides an overall benefit to your life. Sex and looks are temporary, and changing rules to acquire those is the ultimate form of supplication.

 

[RangerMIke]

@MrJack well, you told her you might be interested in a relationship with her contingent on good sex, after she found you in bed with a couple of girls. She has you firmly in the "pump and dump" player category. Look, there is nothing wrong with this, there are chicks out there that are down with this... she isn't one of them. You haven't done anything wrong, you are being honest and this is important. She could have just as well been a girl that saw you in bed with two women and said, "What... you guys started without me?"... Then you would have had a Penthouse Forum story to write about. But you would never have known that without being who you are and what you want.

You are doing the right thing to just let this one go, she might circle back around, but I wouldn't count on it.

 

[MrJack]

@MrJack well, you told her you might be interested in a relationship with her contingent on good sex, after she found you in bed with a couple of girls. She has you firmly in the "pump and dump" player category. Look, there is nothing wrong with this, there are chicks out there that are down with this... she isn't one of them. You haven't done anything wrong, you are being honest and this is important. She could have just as well been a girl that saw you in bed with two women and said, "What... you guys started without me?"... Then you would have had a Penthouse Forum story to write about. But you would never have known that without being who you are and what you want.

You are doing the right thing to just let this one go, she might circle back around, but I wouldn't count on it.

Haha a penthouse forum story to write about would have been great.

I know I kind of hijacked this thread but OP is the one who asked his girl to be exclusive, I never told mine that I would be interested in a relationship contingent on good sex, I was just thinking it in my head lol.

In my situation, I never gave her any indication that I wanted a relationship, hence why I’m thinking I played it too cool and “lost” her.

Either way yea it’s no big deal. She was number 1 on my list at the time but I can’t really come back from this I don’t think.

I know at the end of the month I’ll be seeing her again and those same 2 girls that were in my bed for a concert we will all be going to and I guess I can reassess things at that time but I’m not counting on anything changing. It’s either I hookup with one of the two bed girls or I find some other chick at the concert.

 

[captain55]

Guys the reason I'm pissed is this. This chick was a 9. Offers to playboy, educated, successful, not a slut, and gorgeous. She also thought I was like the hottest guy alive. She pursued me initially. The fact that she didn't put out made me more interested in her. The odds of a man finding that combination are slim to none and most never will. I ghosted her numerous times, I disappeared numerous times, and successfully got her chasing me. But she would never put out. I made the mistake of sharing too much information about my past when we first started talking casually and I regret it. I know she was hurt from the past relationship, and she hasn't had sex since February so obviously it was going to be a challenge to begin with and just bad timing. Had I met her a year ago, who knows what would have been the outcome. She thinks Im gonna hit it and quit it. My friends all say the same thing.

She was crazy up and down with me, occasionally I got her to let her walls down but not for long. I even got her to send me videos of her fingering herself towards the end. I'm trying to tell myself there will be another one, because there always is in my experience..but The fact that I didn't bang her, and won't have a relationship with her is really ****ing with me because whatever man gets her is going to be a lucky sob. I would GLADLY take back the hot women I ****ed, or lose some of the game and confidence I have... just to have a relationship with this chick. Id rather be lucky than good. I was so smooth with her it was almost too smooth and she's a smart chick she picked up on it. Im a bit of a serial dater I love the chase more than the actual conquest, but now that I want something serious its hard for me to change my ways Ive developed over the years.

Its different for the guys that don't want kids and stability but for the ones that do I don't care what anyone says losing a high quality mate (young beautiful wants kids and is loyal etc) really ****s with you. If she was just interested in casual sex, there is no way anyone would beat me out. I was sucking on her tits in a ****ing parking lot. But I feel like the guy she commits to will be a bit of a beta given the fact that she's so damaged she's considering getting with a woman lol. He's gonna be a lucky sob. Oh well, back to the dating market.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Women are very intuitive, if you really like her, there is a VERY good chance she already knows this without you doing much of anything.

@BeExcellent in her post actually brings up some good points on sex and dating. If you are dating just to get sex, chicks will know this, like I said... they can pick up on this based on your behavior. If you are working too hard to please her, she will pick up on this as an effort to manipulate her pants off. Look.... all women know we want sex... that is a given, but if she thinks you are running some kind of game just for that... well you are going to meet resistance. I don't have this problem because I don't date to get sex... I date to have fun. I figure out what I WANT to do, and then invite women along that I think will have fun doing the same thing I've already got planned. If sex happens, great! But I never expect it. Truth is that if you have this mindset, sex is going to happen a lot more than if you actually had the goal of sex.

I have a reputation as a man that dates a lot of women, a player if you will. But I do not have a reputation of being a 'pump and dump' player... There is a difference. I can only think of one time in the last three years where a woman I was sleeping with I ghosted on and disappeared, and I really hated doing that but she ended up being so bat sh!t crazy she refused to listen to what I was saying. Most women I date, THEY end up breaking things off when they realize I'm not going to commit to exclusivity. My challenge is just finding women that are okay with just casual dating. One that I've been doing this with we've dated for 2 years, another almost 3. These women are gold for me, neither wants a commitment either, they want their freedom, no strings, and occasionally sex. Most I will date for a few months, and when they don't get a commitment... they go looking elsewhere, sometimes they come back.... some times they don't, but they are the ones that break things off not me.

A woman that REALLY likes you will want to have sex with you, but if she thinks that is all you care about she won't pull the trigger and let that happen for the reason @BeExcellent points out. So in my experience the best approach is (1) Date for fun not for sex: sex should just happen and not be a goal. (2) NEVER talk about what you do with women EVER. Not to your buds, not to anyone. Intimacy should stay that way. Now she likely will tell her friends everything, and there is nothing you can do about that. But never get a reputation that you are bragging about your conquests, because that sh!t gets around. (3) Keep looking for women that want what you have and are willing to offer, and don't get butt hurt when things don't go the way you planned. (4) Be HONEST about what you want, this includes being consistent and true to your nature. Never lie to women in the hopes of getting what you want. (5) And when things have run their course, just let it go. Trying to control women is a waste of time, all it's going to do is drive her away and/or get yourself in trouble.

This is good but I think she senses he wants a girlfriend.

Guys the reason I'm pissed is this. This chick was a 9. Offers to playboy, educated, successful, not a slut, and gorgeous. She also thought I was like the hottest guy alive. She pursued me initially. The fact that she didn't put out made me more interested in her. The odds of a man finding that combination are slim to none and most never will. I ghosted her numerous times, I disappeared numerous times, and successfully got her chasing me. But she would never put out. I made the mistake of sharing too much information about my past when we first started talking casually and I regret it. I know she was hurt from the past relationship, and she hasn't had sex since February so obviously it was going to be a challenge to begin with and just bad timing. Had I met her a year ago, who knows what would have been the outcome. She thinks Im gonna hit it and quit it. My friends all say the same thing.

She was crazy up and down with me, occasionally I got her to let her walls down but not for long. I even got her to send me videos of her fingering herself towards the end. I'm trying to tell myself there will be another one, because there always is in my experience..but The fact that I didn't bang her, and won't have a relationship with her is really ****ing with me because whatever man gets her is going to be a lucky sob. I would GLADLY take back the hot women I ****ed, or lose some of the game and confidence I have... just to have a relationship with this chick. Id rather be lucky than good. I was so smooth with her it was almost too smooth and she's a smart chick she picked up on it. Im a bit of a serial dater I love the chase more than the actual conquest, but now that I want something serious its hard for me to change my ways Ive developed over the years.

Its different for the guys that don't want kids and stability but for the ones that do I don't care what anyone says losing a high quality mate (young beautiful wants kids and is loyal etc) really ****s with you. If she was just interested in casual sex, there is no way anyone would beat me out. I was sucking on her tits in a ****ing parking lot. But I feel like the guy she commits to will be a bit of a beta given the fact that she's so damaged she's considering getting with a woman lol. He's gonna be a lucky sob. Oh well, back to the dating market.

You should be able to Nail these. There's plenty who cheat on their guy allowing make out sessions like kissing, sucking on boobs, oral sex and fingering. But they don't get penetration.

 

[Roober]

Guys the reason I'm pissed is this. This chick was a 9. Offers to playboy, educated, successful, not a slut, and gorgeous. She also thought I was like the hottest guy alive. She pursued me initially. The fact that she didn't put out made me more interested in her. The odds of a man finding that combination are slim to none and most never will. I ghosted her numerous times, I disappeared numerous times, and successfully got her chasing me. But she would never put out. I made the mistake of sharing too much information about my past when we first started talking casually and I regret it. I know she was hurt from the past relationship, and she hasn't had sex since February so obviously it was going to be a challenge to begin with and just bad timing. Had I met her a year ago, who knows what would have been the outcome. She thinks Im gonna hit it and quit it. My friends all say the same thing.

She was crazy up and down with me, occasionally I got her to let her walls down but not for long. I even got her to send me videos of her fingering herself towards the end. I'm trying to tell myself there will be another one, because there always is in my experience..but The fact that I didn't bang her, and won't have a relationship with her is really ****ing with me because whatever man gets her is going to be a lucky sob. I would GLADLY take back the hot women I ****ed, or lose some of the game and confidence I have... just to have a relationship with this chick. Id rather be lucky than good. I was so smooth with her it was almost too smooth and she's a smart chick she picked up on it. Im a bit of a serial dater I love the chase more than the actual conquest, but now that I want something serious its hard for me to change my ways Ive developed over the years.

Its different for the guys that don't want kids and stability but for the ones that do I don't care what anyone says losing a high quality mate (young beautiful wants kids and is loyal etc) really ****s with you. If she was just interested in casual sex, there is no way anyone would beat me out. I was sucking on her tits in a ****ing parking lot. But I feel like the guy she commits to will be a bit of a beta given the fact that she's so damaged she's considering getting with a woman lol. He's gonna be a lucky sob. Oh well, back to the dating market.

Look at the first two sentences of your post... can you even see her on that pedestal? Shes on mount Everest and your in death valley

 

[captain55]

She contacted me today told me she’s not ready etc. I’m pissed...but I’m gonna get over it by partying my ass off in Vegas this weekend and having a bunch of phat juicy asses in my face and trying to make a ton of money this month. This is by far my worst failure yet though...I’ve never tried this hard with a chick and failed

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She contacted me today told me she’s not ready etc. I’m pissed...but I’m gonna get over it by partying my ass off in Vegas this weekend and having a bunch of phat juicy asses in my face and trying to make a ton of money this month. This is by far my worst failure yet though...I’ve never tried this hard with a chick and failed

Your problem was "trying" hard. There's nothing to overthink. Nothing to over strategize. You wanted it to work too badly.

 

[Roober]

She contacted me today told me she’s not ready etc. I’m pissed...but I’m gonna get over it by partying my ass off in Vegas this weekend and having a bunch of phat juicy asses in my face and trying to make a ton of money this month. This is by far my worst failure yet though...I’ve never tried this hard with a chick and failed

5 years here and your making elementary mistakes. It's time to take a deeper dive...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She contacted me today told me she’s not ready etc. I’m pissed...but I’m gonna get over it by partying my ass off in Vegas this weekend and having a bunch of phat juicy asses in my face and trying to make a ton of money this month. This is by far my worst failure yet though...I’ve never tried this hard with a chick and failed

You should've 3 date ruled her anyway. You were hoping for a relationship and that effed it up.

 

[captain55]

She hit me up tonight. Told her I think she’s using me for validation and she got all offended. I pretty much told her I’m a man I don’t do texting games /relationships and wished her good luck with everything.

She’s a 9. She’s educated and successful. But her personality is one of the worst I’ve ever encountered. I was really fooled because when I originally met her she gave me a totally different impression. Fun, outgoing, and popular. As I got to know her I learned she was the exact opposite. No friends, cold towards her family and men she’s dated, narcissistic beyond belief, flaky etc.