Situational Neediness - GF became distant after going out of town - Going No Contact a good idea?

mrgoodstuff

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Lol yeah what kinda fvcked up world do we live in where being an actually good boyfriend (and not due to lack of options) makes a girl unattracted to us.

I’m going to reload my Tinder and hit up one of the hottest girls I saw before I was exclusive.
It's just the energy. And also life. Some of it isn't logical but it works like clockwork.
It does suck I know but she is an emotional terrorist.
The side piece will protect your energy and keep you from being so close to her.
 

Glassguy

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Ok good call... I’ll start hitting up other girls.

I won’t tell that to my current girlfriend though if she does hit me up. I would still want her to be my main.
You want someone who wont communicate with you and more than likely fvcked some other dude while she was away for several weeks.

That makes no sense but to each his own.

Your mentality here seems to be the major issue. Good luck with that.
 

HankHill

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what kinda fvcked up world do we live in where being an actually good boyfriend (and not due to lack of options) makes a girl unattracted to us.
You know, I wish I had an answer to that because that's what has happened with me every fvckng time. Got the girl, settled down after a few years, even married had kids, got busy with life...working on the career for 'us' and wham! the b*tch decides to eject.

I *think* it boils down to dating lower quality women perhaps, those with emotional issues, insecurities etc and such but you don't know that for a while or after the fact. I say this because there has to be a better way to live LIFE than to play games until you take the dirt nap.
 

jacketrunner

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You want someone who wont communicate with you and more than likely fvcked some other dude while she was away for several weeks.

That makes no sense but to each his own.

Your mentality here seems to be the major issue. Good luck with that.
I don’t want her if she ****ed some other dude, but what evidence do I have for that happening?

How does everyone on this forum know that this happened? Personal experience?

I’m not saying it’s impossible by any means, but she really does seem like a very honest person, and comes from a loving, stable family.

Why should I assume the worst when it comes to cheating on me? What is the logic behind everyone’s pessimism?
 

mrgoodstuff

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I don’t want her if she ****ed some other dude, but what evidence do I have for that happening?

How does everyone on this forum know that this happened? Personal experience?

I’m not saying it’s impossible by any means, but she really does seem like a very honest person, and comes from a loving, stable family.

Why should I assume the worst when it comes to cheating on me? What is the logic behind everyone’s pessimism?
Evidence in her cell phone, in her email and social media. Also a few of her friends knows.
 

jacketrunner

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Evidence in her cell phone, in her email and social media. Also a few of her friends knows.
As in, I should probably snoop right?

Before this trip, she openly gave me her phone passcode, and I could see every text that came in to her MacBook when we were watching Netflix on it.

She definitely wasn’t cheating before.
 

mrgoodstuff

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As in, I should probably snoop right?

Before this trip, she openly gave me her phone passcode, and I could see every text that came in to her MacBook when we were watching Netflix on it.

She definitely wasn’t cheating before.
Then you only need to go back thirty days then. It's ok.
 

jacketrunner

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Then you only need to go back thirty days then. It's ok.
So you’re saying that she’s definitely cheating and I will easily confirm it by looking in her phone?

Well I’m def gonna snoop if I get the chance.

I’m curious what makes this so obvious to everyone? Girls are always suspicious that I’m cheating when I’m not. Are girls just more likely to cheat than guys?

I’ve been faithful up to this point, but now everyone here is advising that I be unfaithful lol. Almost a self-fulfilling prophesy based on mutual distrust.
 

mrgoodstuff

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So you’re saying that she’s definitely cheating and I will easily confirm it by looking in her phone?

Well I’m def gonna snoop if I get the chance.

I’m curious what makes this so obvious to everyone? Girls are always suspicious that I’m cheating when I’m not. Are girls just more likely to cheat than guys?

I’ve been faithful up to this point, but now everyone here is advising that I be unfaithful lol. Almost a self-fulfilling prophesy based on mutual distrust.
Snooping is cool if you do it once. You shouldn't have to dig too deep. If you look and it's poop everywhere there's your answer.

If you dig and don't find anything you can rest at ease at night.
 

Murk

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So you haven't had a proper face to face convo with her in over 3 weeks, you've only been a couple for 12 weeks...

So basically 1/3 of your relationship has been not seeing, talking or fvcking...

This is a fvcking joke mate. She met your parents and is now ignoring you and not speaking, most likely getting d!cked down because a girl is not going 3 weeks without attention trust me. She should have broken down and tried to speak to you by now.

Go find some other broads and imagine this girl is never coming back. She'll prob reach out bored in a week or so, which will be a month plus of minimal contact, not what happens in proper relationships mate you know this.
 

The Diver

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I’m definitely needy and in love with this girl.
When in doubt go back to the basics: "The one who cares less, have the power in the relationship", and in your case, she cares less! you're not in the driver seat of this relationship anymore.
 

jacketrunner

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You know, I wish I had an answer to that because that's what has happened with me every fvckng time. Got the girl, settled down after a few years, even married had kids, got busy with life...working on the career for 'us' and wham! the b*tch decides to eject.

I *think* it boils down to dating lower quality women perhaps, those with emotional issues, insecurities etc and such but you don't know that for a while or after the fact. I say this because there has to be a better way to live LIFE than to play games until you take the dirt nap.
Everyone in my family has really successful relationships but me.
So you haven't had a proper face to face convo with her in over 3 weeks, you've only been a couple for 12 weeks...

So basically 1/3 of your relationship has been not seeing, talking or fvcking...

This is a fvcking joke mate. She met your parents and is now ignoring you and not speaking, most likely getting d!cked down because a girl is not going 3 weeks without attention trust me. She should have broken down and tried to speak to you by now.

Go find some other broads and imagine this girl is never coming back. She'll prob reach out bored in a week or so, which will be a month plus of minimal contact, not what happens in proper relationships mate you know this.
She did reach out to me this weekend on Friday (drunk) and tried to meet up. She was asking why I didn’t call her, and thought I didn’t miss her. She told me she was mad. I may have been too aloof.

If she is getting ****ed down, then she’s a trash cheater who I’ll leave. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Only 20-25% of girls and guys cheat in their lives, and this estimate accounts for self-reported female lying numbers (they’re able to determine how much girls lie by simulating lie detectors). I too have seen the incidents of girls willing to cheat on their boyfriends, and it’s disturbing, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise (trust but verify... I will snoop in her phone).

She’s also in work training right now across country. She just started a new job.
 

jacketrunner

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So you haven't had a proper face to face convo with her in over 3 weeks, you've only been a couple for 12 weeks...

So basically 1/3 of your relationship has been not seeing, talking or fvcking...

This is a fvcking joke mate. She met your parents and is now ignoring you and
Our relationship was formalized 2.5 months ago, but weve been seeing each other for over 5 months, and people were calling us a couple well before we formalized it.
 

marmel75

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Everyone in my family has really successful relationships but me.


She did reach out to me this weekend on Friday (drunk) and tried to meet up. She was asking why I didn’t call her, and thought I didn’t miss her. She told me she was mad. I may have been too aloof.

If she is getting ****ed down, then she’s a trash cheater who I’ll leave. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Only 20-25% of girls and guys cheat in their lives, and this estimate accounts for self-reported female lying numbers (they’re able to determine how much girls lie by simulating lie detectors). I too have seen the incidents of girls willing to cheat on their boyfriends, and it’s disturbing, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise (trust but verify... I will snoop in her phone).

She’s also in work training right now across country. She just started a new job.
That number is way too low bro...I'd say its more like 40-45%. Women are exceptional at cheating and having random encounters that werent planned out and then going home and acting like nothing ever happened.
 

mrgoodstuff

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That number is way too low bro...I'd say its more like 40-45%. Women are exceptional at cheating and having random encounters that werent planned out and then going home and acting like nothing ever happened.
Those dont even make it to their lay count.
 

jacketrunner

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That number is way too low bro...I'd say its more like 40-45%. Women are exceptional at cheating and having random encounters that werent planned out and then going home and acting like nothing ever happened.
According to all objective data, most women don’t cheat, and men and women cheat at remarkably similar rates (20-25%)

I’m not saying my girlfriend isn’t one of the 20-25%, and I’m going to be extremely vigilant when snooping, but there is a chance that she didn’t cheat, especially considering that she comes from a stable family and has a great relationship with her dad, and if that’s the case, then I wouldn’t want to do anything drastic.

We all think that women cheat more than they do bc we’ve all seen the women who will, and its shocking and stands out to us. If you look at a forum of girls talking about male cheating, they will similarly overestimate the number of men who are unfaithful.

Again, though, I acknowledge the potential that my girlfriend is a trash cheater, and I’ll do my due diligence.
 

Murk

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20-25% cheat loooooool

fvck you bro, you deserve everything you get you naive lil beta

"data" - yeah, because people are seriously going to admit to cheating even on an anonymous questionnaire

Most men with options will be unfaithful, it's called being a man
 

jacketrunner

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20-25% cheat loooooool

fvck you bro, you deserve everything you get you naive lil beta

"data" - yeah, because people are seriously going to admit to cheating even on an anonymous questionnaire

Most men with options will be unfaithful, it's called being a man
Whatever. None of my parents would cheat, and no one in my family, so I’ll hold myself and anyone I date to those standards.

But your mom’s probably cheated with a lot of guys, so I can see how that affected your worldview.
 

Murk

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Whatever. None of my parents would cheat, and no one in my family, so I’ll hold myself and anyone I date to those standards.

But your mom’s probably cheated with a lot of guys, so I can see how that affected your worldview.
You're 28 years old making reference to my mother like a 12-year-old. You are saying nobody in your family would cheat like they must go to you for confession.

Not surprised hoebag is banging Tyrone, you're mentally inept.
 
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