How to invite her over to my place for our second date

[HankHill]

Human nature will go extinct if this is where masculinity is. Not knowing how to invite a woman over.

Op, step aside. A man will show you how its done.

^LOL...so show us how you invite women over...brah man?

Like I said before there's plenty of "my d1ck is bigger than your's" advice here after the fact but when you ask the question everyone goes hiding waiting for someone else to respond first and then dog pile. Real man, my @ss LMAO!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

^LOL...so show us how you invite women over...brah man?

Like I said before there's plenty of "my d1ck is bigger than your's" advice here after the fact but when you ask the question everyone goes hiding waiting for someone else to respond first and then dog pile. Real man, my @ss LMAO!

Movie night, my place. Wear something sexy.

Smash or #next

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't ask the question... just tell her what you are doing and invite her over. If you want to get her to your place just tell her you got some steaks or whatever and margaritas and you are just taking it easy at home. Tell her come over... cooking dinner at your place and TV means, sex. She knows that... if she says no, then she isn't ready... you need to build more rapport. You can't make anything happen if she isn't ready.

 

[HankHill]

UPDATE

I thought I'd close out this thread since many folks commented and provided feedback etc. So last night was date#2. Over the span of 10 days between date#1 and date#2 we exchanged approx 1-2 msgs per day which included just small talk, nothing heavy etc.

We met at the restaurant, their bar was full (my plan was just drinks), they also didn't have any booth seating (as was recommended here) but did have tables outdoors that overlooks a lake. She'd never been to this place before so she liked the view. We ordered our drinks. Then the waiter comes around for our food order. She picks up the menu quickly saying 'oh I haven't even looked at the menu yet but...I'll just have xyz' - I told the waiter to make that two. No big deal.

We talked and as usual I joked and teased her about various topics. I even told her 'she missed her chance to watch me cook because isn't it like porn for women to see a man in the kitchen. Too bad, I only make that offer once...' etc she said 'I know...that's ok, I'm ok with missing the chance...but watch me might eat my words later haha'. I asked her about what she's looking for in a man and she asked me what i'm looking for in a woman - it wasn't a heavy conversation at all because I kept inserting silly translations of what she meant etc so it was fun. She caught on and when I told her what I was looking for she teased me right back the same way.

2.5hrs later at 9:30pm we head back out, I walked her to her car. Then we kissed (not a long make out or anything, just a goodbye kiss). She's off to Europe again in a couple of days...she turned to her car and said 'ok, we can stay in touch until I leave for Europe and then I'll txt you when I get back and we can go from there'. I said 'OK, drive safe, goodnight'.

Then when I got home I texted:
Me: Did you get home safe?
Her: I did, enjoyed our conversation tonight, thank you
Me: Glad to hear it. I almost got pulled over.
Her: Were you trying to pop a wheelie to out do my law-breaking record?
Me: No they thought I was intoxicated...I told the officer I only had one kiss I swear
Her: oh ha haha haha you're crazy.
Her: Goodnight lol
Me: 'night

 

[devilkingx2]

Sounds kinda uneventful tbh, you should've escalated a hell of a lot more, but oh well, you win some you lose some.

 

[HankHill]

Yep uneventful and that's a hell of a lot better than eventful in a bad way (coming on too strong and blowing it etc). It's how I've always operated and I think I'll stick to what works for me. I've come to realize that you have to know your customer (as in the sales business). She's a mature 42+ woman, she's been played on many a times, she's not looking to get laid that night, she can see right through a desperate person and what he's trying to get to. I also noticed she enjoyed the intellectual banter, that's what was turning her on, I could sense it. She's just one of those slow-roll women and that's OK.

 

[MrJack]

UPDATE


Me: Glad to hear it. I almost got pulled over.
Her: Were you trying to pop a wheelie to out do my law-breaking record?
Me: No they thought I was intoxicated...I told the officer I only had one kiss I swear
Her: oh ha haha haha you're crazy.

LMAO that line was gold. I’m gonna steal that one from ya.

However, if the girl doesn’t know your humor or has low interest I can see that backfiring by being interpreted as putting her on a pedestal but that doesn’t seem to be the case here since she responded well.

Here, I’ll trade you a line that I think has a decent success rate for getting the girl back to your place after a date, assuming the date went well.

Kind of depends on your personality and I think is tailored more to the c0cky/funny types (I also stole this line from someone on the internet but it’s too hilarious to me not to use)

“Let’s head back to my place, I have this AMAZING tap water, you HAVE to try it.”

Then gauge response and continue accordingly.

 

[Young OG]

UPDATE

I thought I'd close out this thread since many folks commented and provided feedback etc. So last night was date#2. Over the span of 10 days between date#1 and date#2 we exchanged approx 1-2 msgs per day which included just small talk, nothing heavy etc.

We met at the restaurant, their bar was full (my plan was just drinks), they also didn't have any booth seating (as was recommended here) but did have tables outdoors that overlooks a lake. She'd never been to this place before so she liked the view. We ordered our drinks. Then the waiter comes around for our food order. She picks up the menu quickly saying 'oh I haven't even looked at the menu yet but...I'll just have xyz' - I told the waiter to make that two. No big deal.

We talked and as usual I joked and teased her about various topics. I even told her 'she missed her chance to watch me cook because isn't it like porn for women to see a man in the kitchen. Too bad, I only make that offer once...' etc she said 'I know...that's ok, I'm ok with missing the chance...but watch me might eat my words later haha'. I asked her about what she's looking for in a man and she asked me what i'm looking for in a woman - it wasn't a heavy conversation at all because I kept inserting silly translations of what she meant etc so it was fun. She caught on and when I told her what I was looking for she teased me right back the same way.

2.5hrs later at 9:30pm we head back out, I walked her to her car. Then we kissed (not a long make out or anything, just a goodbye kiss). She's off to Europe again in a couple of days...she turned to her car and said 'ok, we can stay in touch until I leave for Europe and then I'll txt you when I get back and we can go from there'. I said 'OK, drive safe, goodnight'.

Then when I got home I texted:
Me: Did you get home safe?
Her: I did, enjoyed our conversation tonight, thank you
Me: Glad to hear it. I almost got pulled over.
Her: Were you trying to pop a wheelie to out do my law-breaking record?
Me: No they thought I was intoxicated...I told the officer I only had one kiss I swear
Her: oh ha haha haha you're crazy.
Her: Goodnight lol
Me: 'night

You should have made out with her and invited her back to your place. You need to escalate more. Texting her and asking her if she got home safe comes off as pretty beta, unless she asks you to do it.

She's a mature 42+ woman, she's been played on many a times, she's not looking to get laid that night, she can see right through a desperate person and what he's trying to get to.

So what? All women like to have sex. If it's the right guy and her emotions are in the right place, she will have sex. Women make decisions off of there emotions. I dont see how escalating and trying to take her home makes you desperate. Men go after what they want.

No offense, but you have a lot to learn.

 

[HankHill]

She just texted: OMG they're already talking about another business trip after I come back...but it'll be later, it wont' be immediate upon my return lol

I'm thinking of saying something like: "see you should've taken my offer so we could've gotten all the initial "awkwardness" out of the way that way so we could plan more fun things to do in between all your business trips"

EDIT: "well then let's make sure we plan plenty of fun things to do in between all your business trips what time's your flight again? we may still have time."

 

[HankHill]

LMAO that line was gold. I’m gonna steal that one from ya.
However, if the girl doesn’t know your humor or has low interest I can see that backfiring by being interpreted as putting her on a pedestal but that doesn’t seem to be the case here since she responded well.

Fell free man! I make up sh*t like that all the time, sometimes I put my foot in the mouth but majority of the times my cheesy lines work out ok. Yeah, definitely know the customer before you say something sexual, silly etc.

Here, I’ll trade you a line that I think has a decent success rate for getting the girl back to your place after a date, assuming the date went well.

Kind of depends on your personality and I think is tailored more to the c0cky/funny types (I also stole this line from someone on the internet but it’s too hilarious to me not to use)

“Let’s head back to my place, I have this AMAZING tap water, you HAVE to try it.”

Then gauge response and continue accordingly.

Yeah, I've seen that one before...definitely noted for future use if the opportunity arises. Thanks.

You should have made out with her and invited her back to your place. You need to escalate more.

I get that, believe me I do. Doesn't work for every woman, every time, sometimes you just have to slow your roll, it's not a sprint.

Texting her and asking her if she got home safe comes off as pretty beta, unless she asks you to do it.

I'll have to disagree...depends on the situation. Making sure she got home after a night with you has multiple advantages to your benefit, first it's a text proof that she's good/unharmed (should something happens). Two, you leave the door open for her to say something about the date so you can gauge her IL (as she did which was, she enjoyed the conversation) and three you're not a juvenile raised without manners.

Surely there's merit in not being in a frame of mind that's weak, desperate but in my opinion the whole Alpha, Beta crap is being taken way too far especially on SS.

So what? All women like to have sex. If it's the right guy and her emotions are in the right place, she will have sex. Women make decisions off of there emotions. I dont see how escalating and trying to take her home makes you desperate. Men go after what they want.

I agree and I didn't sense that she was there yet. Sometimes emotions need time to build, you have to be patient for her to trust you to that point. For some it happens fast, for others it doesn't.

No offense, but you have a lot to learn.

None taken whatsoever, and yes I do learn something new everyday. I just pick and choose what describes me, I don't believe in everything I read on the Internet, only what make sense to me. There's no black and white answer when it's a real life situation or else we'll have a one page pamphlet that would solve every AFC's problems.

 

[MrJack]

She just texted: OMG they're already talking about another business trip after I come back...but it'll be later, it wont' be immediate upon my return lol

I'm thinking of saying something like: "see you should've taken my offer so we could've gotten all the initial "awkwardness" out of the way that way so we could plan more fun things to do in between all your business trips"

EDIT: "well then let's make sure we plan plenty of fun things to do in between all your business trips what time's your flight again? we may still have time."

I agree with @Amante Silvestre and his rockstar groupie cocaine type of response. Try to keep your texts as short as possible, it seems like your first reaction is to respond with a wall of text. Just chill and generally keep it short and sweet.

As far as the actual content of what you were thinking of responding with (your first thought as well as the edit) it seems too eager to me and comes across like she is this awesome interesting person who’s traveling a lot and you are this guy who’s always available and waiting around at home chilling while counting the days till she’s back lol.

Just keep with the banter. She already seems interested, don’t kill it by seeming too needy and available. Just my opinion.

 

[devilkingx2]

Yep uneventful and that's a hell of a lot better than eventful in a bad way (coming on too strong and blowing it etc). It's how I've always operated and I think I'll stick to what works for me. I've come to realize that you have to know your customer (as in the sales business). She's a mature 42+ woman, she's been played on many a times, she's not looking to get laid that night, she can see right through a desperate person and what he's trying to get to. I also noticed she enjoyed the intellectual banter, that's what was turning her on, I could sense it. She's just one of those slow-roll women and that's OK.

1. be wary of projecting things onto a woman from your own mind that don't exist in reality.

2. a woman who is jaded from being played too much and thus makes new men jump through hoops is a red flag, if it were true.

3. a "slow-roll woman" might not be a whole lot of fun if she turns out to not be a very sexual person overall, or lukewarm about you in general.

I ain't gonna tell you what you should or should not do, just be wary of getting yourself friendzoned, coming off as uninterested, trying to go slow and steady like a gentleman courting a classy lady only for chad to speed seduce her and get a quickie in the restaurant bathroom while you're waiting for her to freshen up, etc.

obviously you're right that you shouldn't come off as a player who only wants one thing, or a dying man in a desert who thinks he has reached an oasis. but neither extreme is a good thing. no damage has been done yet however, as long as you make sure to escalate and progress on the next date

 

[Trump]

I last asked her "I'd love to see you again before you leave [for her trip]. Are you free Mon or Tue after work?" Within 5 mins she texted back "how about Tue?"

She agreed to see you on a Tuesday without even knowing what she was going to do with you? Wow homie, you are an absolute Hollywood star.

But now...to invite her to my place should I just come right out and say it 'Great! Are you ok with coming over and cooking dinner together, we can watch a movie on Netflix and if you ask nicely I might even play a song or two on the guitar for you '

What if she says 'let's meet somewhere else or at xyz this time'?

Then you say “Did I say Netflix? I meant to say Amazon Prime.”

Or don't invite her over and suggest some place else?

If you don’t invite her over and suggest some place else, she could say:

“No. I’d rather come over and cook dinner together, we can watch a movie on Netflix and you can play a song or two on the guitar for me ”

 

[HankHill]

@Trump lol now if I only had your skills to grab women by their pvssy! hahaha

Agreed on most. So far so good. She's been texting me daily about random stuff like updates on her trip (packing, excitement etc). I'm only replying minimally. She flys out soon, she just texted that she just got to the airport and only 23hrs of travel left -rolleyes-emoji.

There are a couple of other women I'm talking to as well but they're just not very interesting.

 

[HankHill]

Right on brother! that's exactly what I'm planning to do and you confirmed it in writing.
Her last txt was: 'just boarded the plane! Woot I'm so excited for this trip, can't wait to see my cousin and explore the woods in [European country]'.
I responded with 'Bon Voyage! Have a great trip [name]!'

I thought about adding 'see you when you get back' but then I decided to leave it out because that shows me being needy of her attention while she's excited for her trip. I'm not expecting any contact in between either (since that was the case last time but we hadn't met in real life at that point yet). If it happens great, if not that's ok too.

Yeah, I need to reach out to more women...try different things, it's all a learning experience whether you succeed or not.

 

[HankHill]

I'll work on that goal. It reminds me of a situation though...this woman I dated for a short time would absolutely not put out unless she was certain we were exclusive. She'd stay over, snuggle and let me go to 2nd base but if I pushed anymore (and believe me I tried every time we were in bed) any more she'd shut me down. So after like date#6 or 7 (since I wasn't dating anyone else) we finally did it but only because when she stopped me that night I started putting my clothes back on, grabbed my keys and was about to leave her place when she then apologized and said she'd make it up to me. Well it didn't work out...I didn't enjoy the sex...surprise! I told her that I lost the sexual attraction after being stopped and rejected so many times so early on when the natural lust was at its peak. She said she regrets it but didn't know how to fix it. She said she's never had this problem previously, she wanted to be sure whoever she's sleeping with isn't sleeping around as she was very concerned about STDs - which I can respect and understand her point but how do you know you want to be exclusive with someone if you don't know whether you have that sexual connection together? It's becomes a chicken and the egg situation.

 

[HankHill]

Well she (the one travelling to europe) just sent me a pic of a wine glass with a scenic background with a barn/shed and said 'Arrived!'

I want to tease her for not sending me her pic, like a pic of her in a bikini or something but I guess this is where I shouldn't game every opportunity? haha

 

[Skyline]

How to invite her over to my place for our second date

Honestly, that's a lot harder than people make it out to be(succeeding at least). Unless you met her at a bar/club/party, the odds of that happening are very slim. In your situation, I doubt that it will happen. You didn't even kiss her during that date.


In order for anyone to lay a regular girl on the second date, they have to establish comfort and correctly flirt weeks beforehand. Texting/messaging is a woman's territory, you absolutely have to learn how to use it or you will not get anywhere.

You have no issue attracting the girl but I do see that you have a major issue with flirting. Your flirting is very boisterous.

 

[HankHill]

^ your first two sentences are spot on. Normally I'd never try to get someone like her come over for a second date but all these PUA posts on SS made me think I needed to push more. I'm good doing it the way I've always done it i.e. build some rapport before something like that. Second date we kissed, third date...who knows may be it'll be 2nd base may be home run but either way it'll happen in due time.

 

[Mr Wright]

Normally I'd never try to get someone like her come over for a second date but all these PUA posts on SS made me think I needed to push more.

You've said something more important than you realise. Women generally pigeon hole you into what kind of guy they think you are and how you should act towards them. If you're the kind of guy who usually takes women on 4-5 dates before sleeping with them, women are subconsciously aware of that and you are also aware of it too. So unless she is more forward(which is rare), you're waiting until then. From this thread, it's clear getting a girl over early in your interaction isn't something you do often, it's been saved until it's at the point where it's more socially acceptable.

Now I'll share with you how I do things. I'm at the other end of the scale, I move pretty quickly with women. For example, in the past week I have slept with 4 new girls. I invited 3 of them over for the first "date" and the other one I met at a bar about 5 minutes away and had her back within 2 hours. With these girls, I literally sent them my address and said "come over and lets chill" or words to that effect. I didn't ask anything, I didn't try and get them over on some alternative proviso. I feel that as soon as you start attaching qualifiers or reasons to her to come over you're making it weird and I feel it can come across as a little bit weak but it depends on the girl. I wasn't always like this but it came from one particular experience where I had asked a girl to go on a date with me like 2-3 times and she kept putting it off and flaking. I got annoyed and just told her to come over, she did and we ended up sleeping together. Funnily enough, I had another girl come over this week who I didn't end up sleeping with(not through a lack of not trying) but she insisted it just wasn't in her nature "to do these things, the first time meeting a guy"...but remember she still came over and she still snuggled on the couch etc.

So what I think you need to do in this situation and future situations is to pull the pin. Ask her to come over, if she says no you can still move things backwards a step and then when it does come to inviting her over later again, it's way easier because the topic has already been broached. Also as an older guy, I understand it is slightly different and you may want to get to know her a little better first etc. But when it comes down to asking, make sure you're short, concise and act like it's a completely normal thing to request from her. These principles also come in handy later down the line too.