Situational Neediness - GF became distant after going out of town - Going No Contact a good idea?

[Trump]

Kk I think even if just as a social experiement I should just wait this one out to see what happens.

I don’t think anything I would say would make things better

When you post 10 times in 180 minutes, and 6 times in 90 minutes in the same thread without anyone responding, you are making things up.

 

[Dingo]

H



You actually believe this? I’m a cynical person, but I know she has a strong personal stance against infidelity.

I don’t think it’s impossible that this happened, but I also would not necessarily say it’s likely.

Get ready to swallow the bitter Red Pill....

 

[marmel75]

Get ready to swallow the bitter Red Pill....

I already tried to let him know whats up...

 

[Spaz]

Almost always when a woman acts like this its because of another guy. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

I'll vouch for this.

99.9% chance she has and is having an emotional connection with another guy.

50% chance she has already slept with him.

The percentage rises as time passes.

 

[HankHill]

She likely met someone while she was away and banged them, likely multiple times.

As much as no one wants to hear or believe this about their 'loving, affectionate and angel' girlfriend- unfortunately this is usually the truth behind her acting distant and ignoring you. Happened to me too. The good news is you said you get hit on by other girls so that's exactly what you need now. Ignore her completely and live your life. If she realizes she made a mistake she'll come back. You can't prove your love to someone like they show in the movies, that devalues you in her eyes but if you become busy with your life without her that's the only hope that she might remember the person she first liked before all the neediness etc.

 

[Bokanovsky]

You actually believe this? I’m a cynical person, but I knew she has a strong personal stance against infidelity.

This sounds a little naive...

I just don’t see her going cold on you over one condescending comment (for which you apologized) or becoming a little needy while she was away. This is fairly trivial stuff.

More than likely, one of two things happened: 1) she met someone else and banged him or 2) she was doing some self-reflection (which people often do when they go away) and decided you were not the one for her. She does not want the drama of a break up, so she’s fading away instead.

IMO, this is a lost cause. It’s over, time to move on with your life.

 

[Roober]

No bueno. If she really cared about you, she wouldn't completely ignore you for days or weeks. There were likely many other warning signs you ignored. We've all done it...

If my lady went no contact for more than a say or two after regular contact, I would assume I'm single and act accordingly. If a week, I would shoot her a text and say. " It's been great, but I think it's time we go out separate ways. I wish you the best of luck in life."

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dude if your going to talk don't do it by text.

 

[Dash Riprock]

More than likely, one of two things happened: 1) she met someone else and banged him or 2) she was doing some self-reflection (which people often do when they go away) and decided you were not the one for her. She does not want the drama of a break up, so she’s fading away instead.

3) Women are also the masters of self-sabotage, especially immature ones which I'm gathering from OP. Just when things are "going well" they pull back or whatever. Some sort of defense mechanism against getting hurt. I've run into a few of these over the years and they are 110% a f*ucking waste of time. They are never happy and jump from guy to guy looking for something they'll never find. Then, when SMV plummets, they latch onto usually an abuser, addict, etc.

So, maybe his gf has met someone else and maybe not. Women don't NEED a reason to act like this.

It may just be another emotionally f*ucked up woman.

Go 100% NC. Then, if/when she reaches out, tell her you're been really busy and "thinking" a lot and leave it at that. Get her hamster wheel spinning. Then, plan your exit strategy. Remember, it's ALWAYS better to be the dumper than the dumpee so you may want to plan a preemptive breakup--you breaking up with her. Every time I've done this they've eventually reached out and wanted to make up, but by then I was over them.

 

[Mazer]

I would have not granted her exclusivity until she returned from her three week trip. If it was her first time away from you, it would have been a good test. You needed to see what distance would do between you two and now you are seeing it.

 

[jacketrunner]

Almost always when a woman acts like this its because of another guy. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

She reached out to me last night drunk when I was out.

She was wondering why I hadn’t reached out, and says she’s angry. I played it cool and told her I missed her. Anger from her is better than indifference. I’m going to try to set a date with her tomorrow.

 

[jacketrunner]

3) Women are also the masters of self-sabotage, especially immature ones which I'm gathering from OP. Just when things are "going well" they pull back or whatever. Some sort of defense mechanism against getting hurt. I've run into a few of these over the years and they are 110% a f*ucking waste of time. They are never happy and jump from guy to guy looking for something they'll never find. Then, when SMV plummets, they latch onto usually an abuser, addict, etc.

So, maybe his gf has met someone else and maybe not. Women don't NEED a reason to act like this.

It may just be another emotionally f*ucked up woman.

Go 100% NC. Then, if/when she reaches out, tell her you're been really busy and "thinking" a lot and leave it at that. Get her hamster wheel spinning. Then, plan your exit strategy. Remember, it's ALWAYS better to be the dumper than the dumpee so you may want to plan a preemptive breakup--you breaking up with her. Every time I've done this they've eventually reached out and wanted to make up, but by then I was over them.

Here’s the thing. She has an amazing family. Really loving smart parents who are wealthy and remind me of my own.

I was single and seeing girls nonexclusively for 5 years before I met her. Had sex with at least 30 girls during this period and she’s my favorite.

I agree that this behavior is a red flag, but I objectively think she’s a catch in a lot of ways.

In terms of the hot/crazy scale, she’s actually pretty low on the craziness for how hot she is.

I’ve never seen a girl who was hot and as stable as her. Aside from this trip, the relationship was great with very little conflict.

If she cheated, then that’s obviously unacceptable. But if she didn’t, I want to keep this relationship going.

I’ve been using the Corey Wayne process and it’s worked really well when she’s in town.

 

[jacketrunner]

Also, she cooks well, cleans, and literally *sews* my shirts when they get holes in them.

How often do you find a girl like that in today’s day and age?

 

[Gan]

She was wondering why I hadn’t reached out, and says she’s angry. I played it cool and told her I missed her. Anger from her is better than indifference. I’m going to try to set a date with her tomorrow.

Why not strike while the iron is hot?

 

[jacketrunner]

In what way?

 

[jacketrunner]

I’ve already made plans with my friends tonight. I don’t think I should change my schedule on her whims.

Why not strike while the iron is hot?[/QUOTE

 

[marmel75]

I’ve already made plans with my friends tonight. I don’t think I should change my schedule on her whims.

Definitely not. This never works in your favor.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Also, she cooks well, cleans, and literally *sews* my shirts when they get holes in them.

How often do you find a girl like that in today’s day and age?

. WTF.
Did you go back in a time machine? She probably fvcks you great.

 

[jacketrunner]

I’ve already made plans with my friends tonight. I don’t think I should change my schedule on her whims

Why not strike while the iron is hot?[/QUOTE

. WTF.
Did you go back in a time machine? She probably fvcks you great.

Yeah she does. Still gave me *******s even when she was getting distant.

She has done modeling too. Smart girl.

That’s why I’m not trying to throw away this relationship lol.

 

[marmel75]

Here’s the thing. She has an amazing family. Really loving smart parents who are wealthy and remind me of my own.

I was single and seeing girls nonexclusively for 5 years before I met her. Had sex with at least 30 girls during this period and she’s my favorite.

I agree that this behavior is a red flag, but I objectively think she’s a catch in a lot of ways.

In terms of the hot/crazy scale, she’s actually pretty low on the craziness for how hot she is.

I’ve never seen a girl who was hot and as stable as her. Aside from this trip, the relationship was great with very little conflict.

If she cheated, then that’s obviously unacceptable. But if she didn’t, I want to keep this relationship going.

I’ve been using the Corey Wayne process and it’s worked really well when she’s in town.

Whether you realize it or not you have its very obvious you have pedastalized her. Subconsciously you basically feel she is more valuable than you are and that you are lucky to be with her.

This is a dangerous mindset to have. It should be the complete opposite. She should feel lucky to be with you and should see you as having higher value than her.

Women do NOT want to be with a guy who they feel they are higher value than. By your thoughts and by your actions that follow even if you dont realize you are doing or saying certain things she has picked up on this and is becoming more and more unattracted to you because of it.

You need to stop this pedastilaztion of her and feeling that she has higher value than you or this relationship is all but over.