How sexual do you think a guy should be from the beginning of interactions with a girl, or when should they start?

[devilkingx2]

This subject has come up a few times in the last week or so, that means it's ripe to make a thread about it. So the question is when should a guy start being sexual with a girl (whether physically with kino and heavy escalation or verbally with heavy flirting, dirty talk and innuendo), should it be from the first text/first time you ever meet? should you wait until you physically get onto the first date? should you wait until she signals you? should you wait until she starts it first?

how do you play it, and how would you say others should play it? I know this is a topic that there's a lot of theories and methods and disagreements on.

Personally, I'm in the camp that while you should show restraint and intelligence, you should be as sexual as possible as fast as possible, it's a balancing act that differs per situation, but it's better to get blown out because you're doing too much too fast, than getting friendzoned because you were trying to be a gentleman and thought she was a lady (this is mostly based on my experiences getting friendzoned because I was too nice/too slow/etc, and having great stories to tell when I was really bold)

thoughts? Discuss.

 

[ubercat]

I'd be interested in some in field details from the other camp. I operate as a fast mover but would be happy to try the other path just for learnings or as we say in Oz just for sh1ts and giggles

 

[ubercat]

God it's been ages since I read pua stuff I remember David deangelo made this overblown thing about getting close physically to girls and then leading away. And it might even be a Mystery move if you're sitting beside a girl leaning a little bit towards her but Crossing your leg away from her.

Clearly I make a lousy aloof guy hopefully one of the bros will help out.

 

[MichaelA]

This subject has come up a few times in the last week or so, that means it's ripe to make a thread about it. So the question is when should a guy start being sexual with a girl (whether physically with kino and heavy escalation or verbally with heavy flirting, dirty talk and innuendo), should it be from the first text/first time you ever meet? should you wait until you physically get onto the first date? should you wait until she signals you? should you wait until she starts it first?

how do you play it, and how would you say others should play it? I know this is a topic that there's a lot of theories and methods and disagreements on.

Personally, I'm in the camp that while you should show restraint and intelligence, you should be as sexual as possible as fast as possible, it's a balancing act that differs per situation, but it's better to get blown out because you're doing too much too fast, than getting friendzoned because you were trying to be a gentleman and thought she was a lady (this is mostly based on my experiences getting friendzoned because I was too nice/too slow/etc, and having great stories to tell when I was really bold)

thoughts? Discuss.

Forget the gentleman mentality. Yes you will be a gentleman you a'int going to be a dck with the woman that's the spirit.

Now to get more deep in to the sexual matter never show your intentions via text just be solid and straight to the point about meeting with her, if she escalates anything sexual her self first then you adjust accordingly and play the game. That's the beauty about this its all about knowing how to adjust accordingly.

Now in the date you always want to be sexual i can't stress this enough and i don't mean you saying to her that you want to fck her. You talk s....l....o....w your tone of your voice is very s....e....x....u...a...l get it ? you don't talk to fast you talk like a man. Like an attractive guy. Never talk too fast slow and sexual. Your move and actions are s....l....o...w. You are relaxed you have nothing to prove to her all you want to do is turn her on and make her have fun. Funny coky and sexual.

Just a little example i had a date on Sunday and the girl told me she feels anxious with me you know why? i was never breaking eye contact. You think it may be creepy but trust me she was feeling anxious which is a good sign and could not control her self. She was open about me doing anything i literally wanted in terms of switching places and taking her anywhere i want.

Now the average guy, brakes eye contact too quickly, talks too fast, and his actions and body language is beta style. You want to be the best possible version of u'r self in that terms meaning you dress good you look good you have confidence, all this in total makes you more attractive you feel better about u'r self and this sexual beast comes by its self.

You never touch a girl unless she touch you first, you never kiss a girl unless she gives you the signs she is ready to be kissed. You can adjust in small ways if she has tattoo for example you can say "hey let me see that?" touch her.

"Do you have tattoo anywhere else?" Show me. Escalate slowly.

And trust me you ain't getting blown if she likes you, you know why? cause you know what you are doing.

 

[Dingo]

Women decide in less than a minute if they are going to sleep with you. Doesn't mean she will sleep with you on the first date but that she has decided that she will within a few dates.

So you got to give out the sexual vibe...

Be suave.

 

[Murk]

SCHNELL

 

[ohrein]

As fast as possible. If you're not seen as a sexual being then you're doing it wrong.

 

[devilkingx2]

Women decide in less than a minute if they are going to sleep with you. Doesn't mean she will sleep with you on the first date but that she has decided that she will within a few dates.

So you got to give out the sexual vibe...

Be suave.

I don't think it's literally a minute, but the idea being the expression is sound, generally speaking she figures it out towards the beginning, maybe the first interaction/meeting, maybe the first day, certainly by the first date lol.

 

[greatsnake]

the sooner, the better. The woman has to know what your intentions are. If she doesn't feel comfortable with you pushing her buttons, on to the next one.

 

[HankHill]

I've always done it sooner than later, always in a funny banter way and never crossing the line whereby appearing desperate or crass. I think you need to make your expectations clear, if they're coming from the same logic of thinking they'll be fine with it. If they ghost you or take offense (too easily) then you know they were never really that interested and you saved yourself $ and time of a useless date. Now, just because she's reciprocating, doesn't necessarily guarantee that things will materialize but you can at least weed out the really uptight, those that think they're too good for you, low interest women.

 

[Glassguy]

I went out with a chick last night....first date. The date was ok and I gave her a hug at the end. I left her wondering if i was really into her or not.

Fast forward to this morning at 10am. She messaged me saying that she had a great time and hoped that I wanted to see her again. Made the comment that she found me very attractive and that it was a good thing she "wasnt drinking wine" on our date because it makes her warm and fuzzy inside. I immediately replied with "you meant to say that wine makes you horny". Within the next 30 minutes she was sending me nudes and pics of her banging herself with a dildo. Very nice fake rack. It's set up for me to hang out at her place and drink wine Friday evening.

Point being this: focus on the chick individually. If they give you an opportunity to get sexual early, do it in a way that you can easily get out of. Not all women are the same or want a hookup in the first couple of dates. Escalate when they open the door and see how it goes. While I dont press the issue over text/messaging when I havent hung out with a chick before, I never pass up the opportunity to throw something sexual out there and see how she responds.

I have banged chicks early that got sexual and I've banged chicks quickly that didnt get sexual.

Women are covert so if she gives you an opening to get sexual its probably on purpose to see if you are man enough to take advantage of it.

If she cracks the door, throw something out there and see how she responds and go from there.

There is no cookie cutter process because women are different. You have to pay attention, think on your feet and by all means......show her that you are a sexual being if she gives you the opportunity.

 

[devilkingx2]

I went out with a chick last night....first date. The date was ok and I gave her a hug at the end. I left her wondering if i was really into her or not.

Fast forward to this morning at 10am. She messaged me saying that she had a great time and hoped that I wanted to see her again. Made the comment that she found me very attractive and that it was a good thing she "wasnt drinking wine" on our date because it makes her warm and fuzzy inside. I immediately replied with "you meant to say that wine makes you horny". Within the next 30 minutes she was sending me nudes and pics of her banging herself with a dildo. Very nice fake rack. It's set up for me to hang out at her place and drink wine Friday evening.

Point being this: focus on the chick individually. If they give you an opportunity to get sexual early, do it in a way that you can easily get out of. Not all women are the same or want a hookup in the first couple of dates. Escalate when they open the door and see how it goes. While I dont press the issue over text/messaging when I havent hung out with a chick before, I never pass up the opportunity to throw something sexual out there and see how she responds.

I have banged chicks early that got sexual and I've banged chicks quickly that didnt get sexual.

Women are covert so if she gives you an opening to get sexual its probably on purpose to see if you are man enough to take advantage of it.

If she cracks the door, throw something out there and see how she responds and go from there.

There is no cookie cutter process because women are different. You have to pay attention, think on your feet and by all means......show her that you are a sexual being if she gives you the opportunity.

I like this approach, very nuanced and balanced, seems like the smart way to operate and probably has the best pay-off ratio

 

[Bokanovsky]

Personally, I'm in the camp that while you should show restraint and intelligence, you should be as sexual as possible as fast as possible.

This is generally true but you have to be very careful these days, given the prevalence of sexual assault/harassment allegations. Remember, legally, any unwanted touching of a sexual nature is sexual assault. You really have to make sure you are not dealing with a nutcase before you put your moves on.

 

[Glassguy]

I like this approach, very nuanced and balanced, seems like the smart way to operate and probably has the best pay-off ratio

It comes across as interested but not thirsty. No desperation.
The vibe that I give is interested but not needed. There is no substitute for actually having 3 or more options and a legit busy life.

These plates that I'm spinning respond back as soon as I text. It's like clock work. I might send 2 or 3 messages back and forth but then I sort of disappear for a few hours again. Busy life and options works wonders.

Most guys treat it like a sprint. I treat it like a marathon. I'm still moving but at my own pace. Therefore I have shown interest but not pushy or thirsty. Believe it or not, I've had lots of chicks in the last 3 months ask ME to meet up for drinks because their hamster is spinning and they cant take it anymore. Some push pull and mixed messages. Keep them guessing. They know you're interested but cant stand it when you arent chasing or pursuing hard and they crack as long as their interest is high. They can sense that you are a wanted man with options and not a beta who is thirsty and pushy.

So far I have great success with it. I cant remember the last chick that I didn't actually hang out/go out with after messaging them. Sometimes it's a matter of days, same day occasionally and sometimes it's several weeks later. But if its several weeks later, you can bet that I didnt blow their phone up for weeks. It was just a nice slow pace. On my terms

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't think it's literally a minute, but the idea being the expression is sound, generally speaking she figures it out towards the beginning, maybe the first interaction/meeting, maybe the first day, certainly by the first date lol.

If you were fat and later sexy, they can see it different.

 

[devilkingx2]

This is generally true but you have to be very careful these days, given the prevalence of sexual assault/harassment allegations. Remember, legally, any unwanted touching of a sexual nature is sexual assault. You really have to make sure you are not dealing with a nutcase before you put your moves on.

my plan A for that sort of situation is just to walk away, she's probably not gonna wanna chase me down or hunt me down to harass me for touching her shoulder or whatever (obviously you won't be doing anything super overt like smacking her ass til you're reasonably sure it'll work out for you), here in NYC most people won't give a **** what you're doing and actively don't want to be involved so I don't think I have to worry about bystanders interfering either

my plan B for that sort of situation is that since I'm black and #MeToo is a liberal thing I'll try and pull the race card and make them feel racist for harassing or calling the cops on a black young adult over nothing (someone went into a starbucks asking for a free coffee because they're black after that controversy where two black guys got kicked out of a starbucks and they got a free coffee lmao)

 

[raider87]

Im just going to start opening with "wanna ****?" ill report back in a few weeks

 

[devilkingx2]

It comes across as interested but not thirsty. No desperation.
The vibe that I give is interested but not needed. There is no substitute for actually having 3 or more options and a legit busy life.

These plates that I'm spinning respond back as soon as I text. It's like clock work. I might send 2 or 3 messages back and forth but then I sort of disappear for a few hours again. Busy life and options works wonders.

Most guys treat it like a sprint. I treat it like a marathon. I'm still moving but at my own pace. Therefore I have shown interest but not pushy or thirsty. Believe it or not, I've had lots of chicks in the last 3 months ask ME to meet up for drinks because their hamster is spinning and they cant take it anymore. Some push pull and mixed messages. Keep them guessing. They know you're interested but cant stand it when you arent chasing or pursuing hard and they crack as long as their interest is high. They can sense that you are a wanted man with options and not a beta who is thirsty and pushy.

So far I have great success with it. I cant remember the last chick that I didn't actually hang out/go out with after messaging them. Sometimes it's a matter of days, same day occasionally and sometimes it's several weeks later. But if its several weeks later, you can bet that I didnt blow their phone up for weeks. It was just a nice slow pace. On my terms

One of the greatest lessons i learned on this subject was way back in high school

I used to be the kind of guy who thought """working on""" a girl for weeks was a good idea and not an enormous waste of time on an uninterested girl (or causing the patience to run out and the window of opportunity to close on an interested one)

after striking out with one such girl, my best friend met her a few days later coincidentally, like 3 days after they met i saw them making out in the hallway. In 3 days or so he accomplished far more than i did in at least a month,

it occured to me more or less that if you aren't making out with her within 3 days of meeting her then either you're going slow (intentionally or not, some guys may choose to go slowly for their own reasons at times and that's okay too, as long as it's because of them and not the girl) or she's not particularly interested.

Now, obviously that principle isn't literal. It's not a specific timeframe nor a specific amount of progression/escalation, the lesson i learned was just the idea that getting girls is really quick if they're interested, and if it's not quick then It's not because they're a classy innocent chaste princess, it's because she doesn't like you lol.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

One of the greatest lessons i learned on this subject was way back in high school

I used to be the kind of guy who thought """working on""" a girl for weeks was a good idea and not an enormous waste of time on an uninterested girl (or causing the patience to run out and the window of opportunity to close on an interested one)

after striking out with one such girl, my best friend met her a few days later coincidentally, like 3 days after they met i saw them making out in the hallway. In 3 days or so he accomplished far more than i did in at least a month,

it occured to me more or less that if you aren't making out with her within 3 days of meeting her then either you're going slow (intentionally or not, some guys may choose to go slowly for their own reasons at times and that's okay too, as long as it's because of them and not the girl) or she's not particularly interested.

Now, obviously that principle isn't literal. It's not a specific timeframe nor a specific amount of progression/escalation, the lesson i learned was just the idea that getting girls is really quick if they're interested, and if it's not quick then It's not because they're a classy innocent chaste princess, it's because she doesn't like you lol.

Bro, this is a great females choose lesson. My question is if you got this education early in life what are you doing here?

 

[devilkingx2]

Bro, this is a great females choose lesson. My question is if you got this education early in life what are you doing here?

Relevant quotes:

Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others.​

-Otto Von Bismarck​

Life is a cruel teacher. She loves to give you the test first and the lesson later.​

-Daymond John

Basically I'd rather learn from the experiences that you guys are having that I have not had yet, than try to reinvent the wheel and learn absolutely everything the hard way lol.