"What are you looking for"

[TBG]

Yeah that old chestnut.

So I know this girl that's wanted to meet me for years but I've either not been interested or I've been putting my time into others.

We once again get back in touch following another break up for her (This must be her third or fourth in the 4 years I've known her), and this time we make half hearted plans to go for a drink, but that doesn't happen, no biggie.

A few days later she replies to my Instagram Story with a message saying "Fit". That's normally how her conversation goes. It's short replies or nothing I can work with so I decided to just **** around with her this time and this is how the convo went:

Her: Fit
Me: Sit on my face.
Her: The offers are rare, but I always take them up.
Me: See you later on for that Netflix marathon then?
Her: I wish I was that easy.
Me: Things were only going one way if I came over
Her: More than likely haha
Me: Definitely more than likely I'd say
Her: I'm not just after a **** at the moment, so I hope you find someone who is ha.

I left it there. She messages me a few times afterwards but nothing worth replying to. She once again replies to my Instagram story about something and this is how the convo went this time. Keep in mind she's a nurse.

Her: Glad you didn't die haha
Me: Thanks, on the downside you weren't required for mouth to mouth
Her: I'm at work. Come get it!
Me: I'll be 5 mins. Pucker u..I mean save me.
Her:
Me: Was hoping for three kisses. Will take the two though.
Her: You'll get what you're given.
Me: Little spoon?
Her: I'll do it anytime. I just don't **** easily which is what you're after ha.

Yesterday she messages "So what are you looking for", and this is how that convo went

Me: I have no expectations. I just see where things go.
Her: Okay good.

A few hours goes by

Her: I want to see you
Me: Have you caved. Do you want to be little spoon
Her: Haha yesssssssssssss
Me: Give me 20 minutes and I'll come over.
Her: I'm too hungover and tired tonight
Me: Shame. Let me know when you want to take up that offer
Her: Haha will do!

I know she'lI get in touch again soon and I know she's partly doing it for attention but I also know she does want to meet. So how do I go about this? I've kinda made my intent clear and I'm sure she's down to ****.

 

[The Duke]

70% teaser/30% pleaser. I wouldn't get too excited about this. She is mostly playing you.

 

[resilient]

You did well with the interactions. She's mostly trolling you on Instagram DMs for attention. She needs to invest into you more. If she had higher interest level she wouldn't blew you off with the hangover excuse.

Twice you mentioned you could be over in 5 and 15 minutes, she backs away like a cat instead of pulling you in or going along with it. I'm not a fan of push/pull relationships, they're always luke warm, so I would pass.

As long as you keep her on the back-burner with minimal investment (that matches hers) and in the rotation of your plates, you'll be fine.

 

[Roober]

Your too hungry and she knows it. The availability to come over immediately on two separate occasions wreaks of desperation. She even told you that...

 

[TBG]

I'm not sure how it wreaks of desperation.

The time I mentioned 5 minutes was clearly a joke. The time I mentioned 20 minutes, was early evening and we had already been talking for a bit. For all I knew she was horny and wanted to **** when she messaged saying she wanted to see me. I'd have achieved nothing if all of a sudden I pretended I was busy.

Any ways as expected she messaged me today saying "Maybe Saturday?" for me coming over. We'll see how it goes

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm not sure how it wreaks of desperation.

The time I mentioned 5 minutes was clearly a joke. The time I mentioned 20 minutes, was early evening and we had already been talking for a bit. For all I knew she was horny and wanted to **** when she messaged saying she wanted to see me. I'd have achieved nothing if all of a sudden I pretended I was busy.

Any ways as expected she messaged me today saying "Maybe Saturday?" for me coming over. We'll see how it goes

Maybe or probably is not good.

 

[ohrein]

She has you around her little finger, even if she does want to fvck you. You should be spinning it into her qualifying herself to you. What can she offer you? Why would you spend your precious time with her?

Her: Fit
Me: Sit on my face.
Her: The offers are rare, but I always take them up.
Me: See you later on for that Netflix marathon then?

So thirsty. You're obviously a good looking guy so you probably don't need that much game to get laid most of the time. I would have played it more c0cky/funny and turned the conversation into her qualifying herself. I think you could up your success rate by playing down your looks and getting women to engage with you at a level where they must qualify themselves as more than a vagina.

Her: Fit
Me: I'm not just a piece of meat for you to objectify.
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You can make it up to me by paying for some drinks on Thursday night.

Flips the script entirely, now she's on the defensive and qualifying herself. Save the overt sexuality for after building some rapport in person.

 

[logicallefty]

If I'm only worth 2-3 x characters in a text then she isn't worth any and I will flat out ignore it until she sends me a second message with more substance.

Otherwise, I've had the "what are you looking for" bit go down like this more than once:

HB: What are you looking for?
LL: Going with the flow to see what happens.
HB: <if she isn't happy with the answer above and wants to keep digging>
LL: Looks like you take this a lot more serious than I do. I respect that but at the same time I just want to go with the flow and have fun. So we likely would not be a good fit.. Good luck.
HB: <back peddle back peddle>

 

[TBG]

As expected she flaked.

Didn't speak all week (partly because she's boring as **** to talk to), hit her up with "We still on for tonight?" and she replied with "I'm alright thanks". Didn't reply.

A few hours later she's just messaged, "I just find it strange how we don't talk all week but you pop up as soon as you're expecting something hmmmm". Again not gonna reply.

 

[skinnyguy]

what a c0ck tease

I can't believe you guys cater to their behavior.

this girl has tons of options...she's probably banging 5 guys a day.

 

[Billtx49]

If you want to get rid of her, reply to what are you looking for with - Cheap Sex…

 

[mrgoodstuff]

what a c0ck tease

I can't believe you guys cater to their behavior.

this girl has tons of options...she's probably banging 5 guys a day.

No. She does not have to bang. She get the attention she needs stringing them along.

 

[HankHill]

A few hours later she's just messaged, "I just find it strange how we don't talk all week but you pop up as soon as you're expecting something hmmmm". Again not gonna reply.

"Sounds like talking over text is what turns you on? I'm more a pillow talk kinda guy...looks like we won't work out."

 

[Skyline]

You screwed up so long ago my man...

It's obvious you just want her for sex and that she doesn't want to be used for sex. She knows that, I know that, my dog knows that. Guess what? Females don't like being used for sex. Your conversations are hardly "flirty," it just looks like you're straight up requesting sexual favors.

Flirting is supposed to be subtle and fun. Every now and then you can be explicit but you have to rebuttal yourself in a playful manner based on her response.

Just talk to her like a normal person, with some light flirting, and you would have probably been in her pants already. Every woman is different, some are easier to sleep with and some require more subtle routes. She's obviously the subtle route type.

 

[Murk]

You screwed up so long ago my man...

It's obvious you just want her for sex and that she doesn't want to be used for sex. She knows that, I know that, my dog knows that. Guess what? Females don't like being used for sex. Your conversations are hardly "flirty," it just looks like you're straight up requesting sexual favors.

Flirting is supposed to be subtle and fun. Every now and then you can be explicit but you have to rebuttal yourself in a playful manner based on her response.

Just talk to her like a normal person, with some light flirting, and you would have probably been in her pants already. Every woman is different, some are easier to sleep with and some require more subtle routes. She's obviously the subtle route type.

What he said.

Just leave her and move on to more receptive cvm recepticles

 

[sazc]

Shes an attention seeker and then blames you for only wanting one thing when she gets the attention she craves. That's disgusting.

Go NC and forget you know her. She's going to tell anyone who will listen " see, I was right, he only wanted sex!" But she's never going to acknowledge her role in this dynamic anyways.

She's not worth your timr

 

[sazc]

You screwed up so long ago my man...

It's obvious you just want her for sex and that she doesn't want to be used for sex. She knows that, I know that, my dog knows that. Guess what? Females don't like being used for sex. Your conversations are hardly "flirty," it just looks like you're straight up requesting sexual favors.

Flirting is supposed to be subtle and fun. Every now and then you can be explicit but you have to rebuttal yourself in a playful manner based on her response.

Just talk to her like a normal person, with some light flirting, and you would have probably been in her pants already. Every woman is different, some are easier to sleep with and some require more subtle routes. She's obviously the subtle route type.

Skyline you are ignoring the FACT that SHE starts the conversations after a period of no talking. She's the one looking for attention and validation from him. This isn't his fault. She's setting herself up to look looked she wants him orbiting.

 

[Murk]

It is his fault, he keeps entertaining this broad and lowering himself/losing value

no reply or a simple "lol" next time she messages.