Girl got left by her bf, wants to meet me to hug

[mrgoodstuff]

She took it a bid badly saying "I think it's better we don't see each other bla bla bla" and then I told her "Hey, relax, chill out. I think you should have a good time in the way you like to have it" and then she turned the plates and said "OK, we see if me and you both have the time to meet one of these days" so she's up for it and now she knows my natural intent openly. I won;t force anything, but if I feel like it, I will go for it. If she holds back, I will not dump the situation right away, I wanna make it an example to learn, use it as an experiment.

"Let's see"... That's very weak.

 

[Macaframalama]

How do you know this chick anyways? You known her for awhile or she a new prospect?

 

[Igetit!]

How do you know this chick anyways? You known her for awhile or she a new prospect?

That's what I was wondering.......how did you two come to start talking to each other in the first place? What was the context?

And the second thing I was wondering was.......

"Hugging is an intimate situation. It might happen that I get turned on."

Why.........in the HELL......did you say that to her?

 

[lizardking82]

How do you know this chick anyways? You known her for awhile or she a new prospect?

Know her since two years, I flirted with her back then, but she was virgin as fack, so I moved on quickly. Now she had sex recently with a guy and she was with him in an LDR Albania - France.

 

[lizardking82]

Why.........in the HELL......did you say that to her?

Cause I just don't wanna get some weird situation then where I reach out for her lips with mine and she turns the cheek and **** like that. That **** is needless games and she seems like she is in the mood for that kinda sh1t.

 

[Mazer]

She told me about it a couple of days ago, we chatted for about two hours on and off. Today she wants to meet me for a hug, specifically said "I don't want sex, just hugging..." In my experience, this is a lay situation, but how do you say I play this? She looks hurt from her boyfriend leaving her just out of the blue.

P. S - She now added "I turn to you because you seem like a guy with character and integrity that would not exploit a girl's moment of weakness."

I would have told her that you had a date with a woman on the night she wanted to meet for a hug. Then counter with another day. It would have been a good way to see if she had some interest or if she would have just moved on to the next dudes phone number in her contact list. Do not let this chick put you in orbit in order to make herself feel better about her breakup. She will use you to get back on her two feet and will either start banging Chad or run back to her boyfriend.

 

[Igetit!]

Cause I just don't wanna get some weird situation then where I reach out for her lips with mine and she turns the cheek and **** like that.

Ummm ok. You didn't want to reach out for her lips with yours and have her turn her cheek. Huh.

I thought she said she wanted to meet for a HUG? So where's this business of you wanting TO KISS,but afraid she might give you her cheek coming from?

You know what a seed is? You know.....one of those little things you plant in the ground that grows,sprouts,and brings forth fruit?

That's what you should have done here. Instead of meeting her and trying to get something RIGHT THEN AND THERE,you should have laid the groundwork for something to happen possibly in the near future. You said you have 5 other plates. You could have occupied your time with them,while gaming and trying to foster something with this girl on the side. And with her being as emotional as she is,it wouldn't have taken that long.

The chick said "you seemed like a guy with character and integrity who would not exploit a girl's moment of weakness."

If she told you she wanted to meet for a hug,and that she specifically turned to you cause she felt like you wouldn't exploit her in her moment of weakness,that may not be the best time to tell her your d*ck might get hard during the hug.


You should have been more subtle,more indirect. I wouldn't have said that to her.......I would have just let her felt it pressing against her during the hug.....not mentioned a thing about it. And if she had mentioned it,I would have made HER look foolish by asking her what she's talking about,and been like,"Woah.....I thought we were just meeting for a hug? What are you talking about?"

She would have turned sheepish and blushed....she's not gonna go,"Your d*ck.....your d*ck is hard....I felt it pressing against me when you hugged me". The whole situation would have got her thinking about you in a sexual manner.

 

[sazc]

@Igetit! What are the odds, do you think, that when a woman clearly says "I'm not interested in sex with you" that she actually means it? Just curious what you think. I know you guys say "actions not words" and this is why you are encouraging him to play this event out completely. I get that. But how often do you think she means it (no sex) versus not meaning it? 80%of the time means "no sex" to 20%of the time says "no sex" but will put out?

On another note completely, why waste your time giving her the time of day? She clearly stated she only wanted an emotional tampon, I wouldn't advice any guy, that is interested in a girl, to allow the girl to use you as an emotional tampon. At some point in an LTR/relationship you are going to have to (at least pretend to) care about, and entertain, her feelings - but that should only occur after some good investment by both people, not as a one off by a random pretty girl.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Feminine shaming tactics because you called me cynical and negative lol. I guess @sazc is cynical too, she said exactly what I did. You have no experience based on how clueless you are in this thread. You have no frame of reference so to resort to calling things that contradict your baseless speculation as "negative".

In the same way you look at it as “it’s not negative, it’s practical and realistic” is the same way I use those words to describe you. There’s no ‘feelings’ behind it. It’s just fact. You know this too. You are one of the most cynical posters on here in regards to women because you’ve always been broken whenever your hopes go up. Just because you haven’t been able to do something that I have, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You look at things too linearly. Understand that it’s an extension of overall social dynamics (skills of which many people here lack btw, you included if you can’t understand this).

 

[skinnyguy]

I don’t want to like your post and not reply to it, so I’ll give you my thoughts lol.

If you have some really tight game, zero mistakes, and play it perfectly, you can probably pull. Thing is though, that’s incredibly hard to do unless you’ve been in much more difficult scenarios, and if this wasn’t an issue, you probably wouldn’t be asking us. I think it’s still an incredibly volatile situation in the sense that she will be looking to see what you will do—try and be comforting towards her, or play her just for the lay. She’s more aware of your actions since she said:

It’s pretty funny when you think about it tbh because exploiting her is exactly what we are trying to do. It’s almost like she secretly wants you to...

Like I said before, it’s incredibly volatile. You can’t be regular aggressive like how you would be under normal circumstances, but at the same time, there’s a fine line between being caring & empathizing, and being a ‘nice guy’. You gotta find that sweet spot by just testing it out. And you can’t remain there either. I’ve learned these past few months that with certain women, you have to know WHEN to fluctuate between being in that sweet spot vs being that aggressive alpha male type vs the cuddly type vs the normal dude type vs etc.

You might not even get the lay on the first try if you (pretend to?) care a little, but after the fact she will definitely feel like you aren’t just ‘another guy’ trying to use her. The more I think about it though, the more I believe that some part of her DOES want you. Try to bring that part of her out as well by making her think about you via your words. When you talk to her or ask questions regarding anything remotely intimate (if you somehow happen to be on topic), arrange your words in a way that will prompt her to think about you.

Also, the way you physically hold her and touch her (or any girl for that matter) will have a MASSIVE effect on how they feel about you. Just know this: if you get the lay, she will be really clingy to you for a long time and will love you to a point that you can’t really comprehend as a guy. If you hurt her, you will ruin her for the rest of her life, and she will in turn try to hurt and ruin every guy she ever meets after you. You will have messed up a whole bunch of guys just for one lay, and completely destroyed the life of a girl who just wanted to feel loved. Don’t ruin something that could have been great for someone else. Good luck brother, do your thing.

I disagree. It could be incredibly easy to pull in this situation.

Tell the girl he doesn’t deserve her and he’s a dbag. Make her emotionally connected to you. She’s in a vulnerable state now which is why she is drawn to you. Don’t act like a desperate cuck and you’ll be fine.

OP should care less if he ruins it for other guys. You think alphas care about the next guy when he ****s and dumps a girl?

 

[R.U.G.]

Seems you're setting yourself up to be in the friendzone or the gay boyfriend. You're prob. going to meet with her anyway, so as soon as she hugs you, I'd start by holding her by the small of her back, then slowly move down to her butt. Look her straight in her eyes, stare, pause and go for a passionate kiss. If you do this correctly, you may be able to turn this into a sex session. Timing and performance is everything though. Make sure you have her come to your place, not somewhere public. You home, better odds for you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Seems you're setting yourself up to be in the friendzone or the gay boyfriend. You're prob. going to meet with her anyway, so as soon as she hugs you, I'd start by holding her by the small of her back, then slowly move down to her butt. Look her straight in her eyes, stare, pause and go for a passionate kiss. If you do this correctly, you may be able to turn this into a sex session. Timing and performance is everything though. Make sure you have her come to your place, not somewhere public. You home, better odds for you.

Yes cosign. Your odds are better if she comes to you.

 

[Igetit!]

@Igetit! What are the odds, do you think, that when a woman clearly says "I'm not interested in sex with you" that she actually means it?

I have no idea. I do know that.....if she actually said those exact words,then having sex with the guy HAS BEEN on her mind.

Another thing is,you WOULD NEVER hear a woman saying those words to a stranger,to someone she doesn't know.......so her saying it to someone she's already familiar with would likely mean he does have a chance (a good chance) of sleeping with her.

Look.....I know......I know chicks say one thing,but mean another at times. And her DIRECTLY telling someone that she's not interested in sex with them,would more than likely mean she is,but it depends on the context in which its said. Kinda like when a chick gets ready to do something sexual with a guy and she hauls off and says,"I don't usually do this" or "I don't normally do this". If she SAYS THAT,then she does it A LOT.......she just doesn't want to be thought of as a slvt by the guy.

And then there's "plausible deniability". Like if you say to a woman,"Let's go back to my place and have sex"....she's probably gonna say no,even if she really wants to........but if instead you say,"Let's go back to my place and watch a movie",she'll say yes. That way,if she comes over and sex happens,it can be a situation of it "just happened". She can say she came over to watch a movie,but then one thing just led to another,and bam....."it" just happened.....not her fault.


This chick saying she just wanted a hug...well maybe she did want more. But the reason I kept harping on the hug is because I didn't think the OP should SHOW UP expressing that he wanted "more".....even if SHE did. Gotta give her plausible deniablilty....stick at the level SHE ESTABLISHED (the hug) and gently escalate from there.

I'm not saying to believe this girl. Not saying not try anything at all. I was just saying not to SHOW UP ACTING LIKE you want more than the hug,to shield you from that "you wouldn't take advantage of a girl in a moment of weakness" line.

Just curious what you think. I know you guys say "actions not words" and this is why you are encouraging him to play this event out completely. I get that. But how often do you think she means it (no sex) versus not meaning it? 80%of the time means "no sex" to 20%of the time says "no sex" but will put out?

Well I'd say that MOST OF THE TIME....when she says "no sex",and her vibe,energy,facial expression,and ACTIONS all seem to line up with her words,then she means it. If she's over at your place,you two are kissing and making out,and touching each others "special places".....she can still say no sex and mean it,but I'd say in that scenario,she probably doesn't.

It's hard to say....I mean it's not like a math equation where the solution has a predictable outcome.

On another note completely, why waste your time giving her the time of day? She clearly stated she only wanted an emotional tampon, I wouldn't advice any guy, that is interested in a girl, to allow the girl to use you as an emotional tampon. At some point in an LTR/relationship you are going to have to (at least pretend to) care about, and entertain, her feelings - but that should only occur after some good investment by both people, not as a one off by a random pretty girl.

I 100% AGREE with this. In fact,it's the first thing that came to my mind.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Just don't be her pvssy. You'll be fine listen to less than 50% what she says. Do what you want.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

There is absolutely nothing you've accomplished that I haven't accomplished, I promise you. On the flip side, what you haven't accomplished is enough experience with women to easily diagnose what is going on in this thread.

Congrats, you’ve had the same repeat experiences because you couldn’t figure out how to improve upon them. What you don’t seem to ‘get’ is that it’s not fully apart of you to be this way. I grew up internalizing this stuff. It’s apart of me. And I’m much more introspective than any currently active user on here right now so I’m able to understand dynamics at play to a greater extent. The only thing you might have over me is refinement. But you’re still lesser overall just because I’m growing up implementing this. You can only get so far because you’re already set in your ways. I’m not just because of my age. My ‘lack’ of experience is only lack in terms of quantity. But I’ve had much more varying experiences than you ever had. A difference between me and you. Learn from me. I have lots that I can show you. But I know your ego won’t let you just because it was too painful to admit that you were wrong once before (when you first started coming here).

 

[sazc]

Karma will make you her b1tch eventually, hopefully you'll still be insightful enough to embrace the lesson

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Absolute God complex

Likewise.

 

[wifehunter]

 

[marmel75]

Absolute God complex

Its what happens when you are a teenager...you are the smartest person on the face of the planet...been there before haha...

 

[Macaframalama]