Wants Sex To Be Special?? / Field Report

[MrJack]

Kind of long post but I feel like the details matter and maybe you’ll also find it entertaining as well. In a way, it’s somewhat of a field report too I guess.

Is this just simply low interest and she’s bvllshytting me? Or are there girls out there that actually think this way because they are looking to lock you down long term or something? (Which is just stupid IMO)

So this past Friday, my roommates and I had a little pregame get-together and went out to the bars afterwards and this one girl came over who is a friend of another girl in our social circle who also came over.

I met her maybe a few weeks ago but we have not had an actual 1 on 1 date yet. I haven’t asked her out for that yet because I literally have no time for it right now with work and working on plating other women. She is an attractive girl though, 7.5-8.

What we have had is a couple group outings where we have flirted and kinoed but both times she has gone home afterwards. During those outings she has seen me flirting/kinoing other attractive women as well.

(First time she went home because I didn’t put in enough work and didn’t bother to even try getting her back home, second time I tried but she had to leave to meetup with her family in another state early the next morning)

She’s definitely attracted and gives me googly eyes though. Always positive interactions.

So we go out to the first bar for food and a couple drinks (2 girls, 3 dudes including me) and I am clearly the alpha among my 2 peers. I led most of the conversation, made jokes, made everyone laugh yada yada.

I was sitting across from her at first but at one point we all got up to smoke a cigarette and when we came back to our table I made a smooth transition into the seat next to her (the girls got the comfy 2 person couch looking seat on one side and I made a joke about that and just sat down and she sat next to me in her original spot)

At this point I start making conversation with only her and the other 3 we’re having their own conversation. I build some rapport with her and slight kino.

We head to the next bar where she bought me a drink on the upper floor and after we all conversed for a bit, my one roommate and I go our own way for a bit and start talking to other people on the bottom floor (guys, girls, whoever. Just having a good time)

We come back up and I talk with her a bit more. We decide to leave and as I led the way I notice she stopped because a guy started talking to her. I am unphased and see a good opportunity to chat up this hot 8 by herself fixing her hair by this long horizontal mirror on the wall like 10 feet away. I go up next to her and jokingly start pretending to fix my hair too lol. She immediately laughs and goes “omggg stopp” and within 10 seconds into talking to her, my target had already left the dude talking to her and pulls my arm saying “let’s go” as she walks past us, oozing of jealousy.

I should’ve grabbed the 8’s number before I left but oh well.

We all uber back to my place and I must have ticked her off because she acts somewhat distant at this point. Right after we get home these 2 other girls that are also friends with the girl in my social circle show up.

These 2 other girls I also have already met around the same time as my target and they are instantly happy to see me and I hug them both and proceed to lift them up a bit and spin them around once or twice.

We all just continue conversing and what not and I notice my target went and changed into her comfy clothes and walked into the kitchen. I went in there, she was facing away from me getting water or something and I was like “are you going to bed?” She just says “yeaaa” while half glancing back.

I immediately pick her up as if I’m a lifeguard from baywatch bringing someone out of the water to lay them down on the beach, except I go straight to my room while she’s all smiley and laughing (attitude towards me did complete 180).

Dropped her on my bed closed the door and started making out with her. She stops me at the first sign of escalation and sighs and basically says she wants to but blah blah. I’m like “we’re obviously both attracted to each other” and she says “you’re too suspicious” (btw wtf does that mean lol) and we banter for like 20 seconds, I feel like I was saying all the right things but maybe not. She eventually says “I don’t want to have sex while we’re drunk” and that she wants it to be “special”. As she said it she did this sort of - I’m slightly embarrassed saying this type of laugh - and then said she just wants to be sober.

I told her I can respect that and said ok well let’s get you to bed (I wasn’t just going to cuddle with her all night).

So she slept on one of our air mattresses for the night. Funny thing is by the time everyone else started going to bed, the other 2 girls who showed up when we got home wanted to sleep in my bed so I entertained it and slept in the middle with them cuddled up to me and tried to get a threesome lol but it didn’t happen. I was pretty drunk and tired anyways so we fell asleep to a movie.

Next morning my target and the social circle girl went to go grab breakfast for everyone and she texted me asking if I wanted anything and of course I said yes.

They got back home, my door was open and she said hi to us and saw me hungover af with these 2 chicks.

She kept her shyt together when I would say something to her but I could still tell she was back in jealous mode.

After eating I was about to leave to go grab cigs and she was about to leave as well to go home so we walked out together, I walked her to her car and we hugged goodbye and as I was walking away she said “hey MrJack” I turned around and she said “we should hangout sometime” with a smile and I just said “yea definitely, just hit me up when you’re free”. She said okay and I continued walking to my car.

Haven’t heard from her until today, she sent me a Snapchat that I haven’t opened yet.

I don’t get it, I literally oozed almost every alpha trait a girl could want in a man that she would want to fvck but I was ultimately rejected because she wanted it to be “special”. Did I overdo the jealousy thing? I honestly wasn’t even aiming to do that I just did what was natural to me in the moment.

Is she just an attention whvre with low interest for me? Is she thinking she wants to be exclusive with me and taking it slow? Is that what women do when they want exclusivity with a man?

WHAT DOES IT MEANNN.

Thanks for reading all the way through, if you guys did.

 

[IKO69]

I would **** with her and tell her some bull**** like i'd promise to bathe before from now on. When they say absurd things you gotta say them right back to **** with them.

 

[MrJack]

I would **** with her and tell her some bull**** like i'd promise to bathe before from now on. When they say absurd things you gotta say them right back to **** with them.

Haha that’s pretty funny, I’ll remember that one for next time.

So you think it’s just low interest then? She’s not into me? Or is she just that delusional that she thinks telling me she wants it to be special will make me want to only pursue her lol

 

[HankHill]

She's definitely attracted to you but she's not a loose type. She wants more than a ONS or FWB and she's seeing it right in front of her eyes that she'll just be another notch in your bedpost. This is where women are their own enemies, they're attracted to guys who sleep with other women but they want to be your special snowflake. Just my opinion.

Edit: her comment about you being suspicious also confirms that...she's not sure because you come across the player type and she's wanting more.

 

[IKO69]

Haha that’s pretty funny, I’ll remember that one for next time.

So you think it’s just low interest then? She’s not into me? Or is she just that delusional that she thinks telling me she wants it to be special will make me want to only pursue her lol

Depends on if you can lay pipe or not. Usually you should treat those things as negatives but it could just be one of her ways of **** testing to see what you do or say. If you can still bed her i'd say things are good but if she begins to withdraw then you can take it as a sign that her interest is dipping. Always give credence to actions rather than words.

 

[MrJack]

She's definitely attracted to you but she's not a loose type. She wants more than a ONS or FWB and she's seeing it right in front of her eyes that she'll just be another notch in your bedpost. This is where women are their own enemies, they're attracted to guys who sleep with other women but they want to be your special snowflake. Just my opinion.

Edit: her comment about you being suspicious also confirms that...she's not sure because you come across the player type and she's wanting more.

Okay I mean that makes total sense but at the same time doesn’t... as in how does she even know she wants more if we haven’t even fvcked yet? Sex brings a lot more emotion into a “relationship” between two people so how can she be feeling that way already? Most women you would be having sex with them for a few months and then they bring up the topic of exclusivity.

What’s your take on that? Are some women just like that? And also are those the ones you kind of want to stay away from generally?

I mean she’s a cool girl and she’s sexy but on my side of things, how am I supposed to know if I would want more with her if our interactions are limited to everything but sex at the moment?

Do I go ahead and chill with her SOBER like she said, get the smash, and then assess things over time? Seems like the only option at this point. Then again, would that kind of put me in her frame then?

 

[HankHill]

To answer your question regarding exclusivity you're right but typically what you do with other women etc is not happening in her presence. In this case you're cuddling up all night with 2 other girls because this one said no to sex which is fine if that's what you prefer but if you want her then it's not the way to go.

As for what to do, personally I'd say don't stop being yourself - no matter the outcome. However, I'd say give her time to come around and not do certain things right in her face that makes her suspicious of you.

 

[MrJack]

To answer your question regarding exclusivity you're right but typically what you do with other women etc is not happening in her presence. In this case you're cuddling up all night with 2 other girls because this one said no to sex which is fine if that's what you prefer but if you want her then it's not the way to go.

As for what to do, personally I'd say don't stop being yourself - no matter the outcome. However, I'd say give her time to come around and not do certain things right in her face that makes her suspicious of you.

Forsure thanks for the response. I will continue to be myself and act the same way towards women I find attractive no matter who is in my immediate vicinity. However maybe a little less overtly.

Side Note: I have never given her a reason to believe I want a relationship with her, so technically there is nothing for her to really be suspicious about? I haven’t given false promises or anything like that so it kind of threw me off when she said that but I guess I kind of get it from her perspective now.

As far as the 2 girls, there was pretty much nowhere else for them to sleep comfortably anyways and yes my target girl denied me so there was really no reason not to let them sleep with me. It would’ve been a pretty big d!ckhead move to make them both sleep on this tiny couch we had leftover.

In other words, I didn’t do it with the intentions of it being on purpose towards her.

Anyways, thanks for the insight.

 

[Bible_Belt]

she's seeing it right in front of her eyes that she'll just be another notch in your bedpost.

Yep, exactly. OP needs to be more subtle.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Your thread reminded me that it's really super irritating when girls c*ckblock you out of jealousy but have no intention of actually dating or sleeping with you in the immediate future either. It's kind of BS. Imagine if a guy walked over to a girl with a dude and blocked her, then bailed afterwards and didn't even kiss her. Ridiculous.

Sounds like she blocked you with the mirror chick but at the same time blue-balled you because she has that level of power to do that. Because her interest level is high enough to get jealous of you flirting, but low enough that she just wants to make you an orbiter.

I wouldn't waste more time on her unless she starts actively pursuing you first, hang out with some other girls and continue playing the jealousy angle because she sounds like she's taking you for granted with all these microdates and kino with no actual result.

Girls like this love keeping you single and in their orbit, but normally have no intention of sleeping with you because that removes the attention they're leeching off you.

 

[AJ84]

Kind of long post but I feel like the details matter and maybe you’ll also find it entertaining as well. In a way, it’s somewhat of a field report too I guess.

Is this just simply low interest and she’s bvllshytting me? Or are there girls out there that actually think this way because they are looking to lock you down long term or something? (Which is just stupid IMO)

So this past Friday, my roommates and I had a little pregame get-together and went out to the bars afterwards and this one girl came over who is a friend of another girl in our social circle who also came over.

I met her maybe a few weeks ago but we have not had an actual 1 on 1 date yet. I haven’t asked her out for that yet because I literally have no time for it right now with work and working on plating other women. She is an attractive girl though, 7.5-8.

What we have had is a couple group outings where we have flirted and kinoed but both times she has gone home afterwards. During those outings she has seen me flirting/kinoing other attractive women as well.

(First time she went home because I didn’t put in enough work and didn’t bother to even try getting her back home, second time I tried but she had to leave to meetup with her family in another state early the next morning)

She’s definitely attracted and gives me googly eyes though. Always positive interactions.

So we go out to the first bar for food and a couple drinks (2 girls, 3 dudes including me) and I am clearly the alpha among my 2 peers. I led most of the conversation, made jokes, made everyone laugh yada yada.

I was sitting across from her at first but at one point we all got up to smoke a cigarette and when we came back to our table I made a smooth transition into the seat next to her (the girls got the comfy 2 person couch looking seat on one side and I made a joke about that and just sat down and she sat next to me in her original spot)

At this point I start making conversation with only her and the other 3 we’re having their own conversation. I build some rapport with her and slight kino.

We head to the next bar where she bought me a drink on the upper floor and after we all conversed for a bit, my one roommate and I go our own way for a bit and start talking to other people on the bottom floor (guys, girls, whoever. Just having a good time)

We come back up and I talk with her a bit more. We decide to leave and as I led the way I notice she stopped because a guy started talking to her. I am unphased and see a good opportunity to chat up this hot 8 by herself fixing her hair by this long horizontal mirror on the wall like 10 feet away. I go up next to her and jokingly start pretending to fix my hair too lol. She immediately laughs and goes “omggg stopp” and within 10 seconds into talking to her, my target had already left the dude talking to her and pulls my arm saying “let’s go” as she walks past us, oozing of jealousy.

I should’ve grabbed the 8’s number before I left but oh well.

We all uber back to my place and I must have ticked her off because she acts somewhat distant at this point. Right after we get home these 2 other girls that are also friends with the girl in my social circle show up.

These 2 other girls I also have already met around the same time as my target and they are instantly happy to see me and I hug them both and proceed to lift them up a bit and spin them around once or twice.

We all just continue conversing and what not and I notice my target went and changed into her comfy clothes and walked into the kitchen. I went in there, she was facing away from me getting water or something and I was like “are you going to bed?” She just says “yeaaa” while half glancing back.

I immediately pick her up as if I’m a lifeguard from baywatch bringing someone out of the water to lay them down on the beach, except I go straight to my room while she’s all smiley and laughing (attitude towards me did complete 180).

Dropped her on my bed closed the door and started making out with her. She stops me at the first sign of escalation and sighs and basically says she wants to but blah blah. I’m like “we’re obviously both attracted to each other” and she says “you’re too suspicious” (btw wtf does that mean lol) and we banter for like 20 seconds, I feel like I was saying all the right things but maybe not. She eventually says “I don’t want to have sex while we’re drunk” and that she wants it to be “special”. As she said it she did this sort of - I’m slightly embarrassed saying this type of laugh - and then said she just wants to be sober.

I told her I can respect that and said ok well let’s get you to bed (I wasn’t just going to cuddle with her all night).

So she slept on one of our air mattresses for the night. Funny thing is by the time everyone else started going to bed, the other 2 girls who showed up when we got home wanted to sleep in my bed so I entertained it and slept in the middle with them cuddled up to me and tried to get a threesome lol but it didn’t happen. I was pretty drunk and tired anyways so we fell asleep to a movie.

Next morning my target and the social circle girl went to go grab breakfast for everyone and she texted me asking if I wanted anything and of course I said yes.

They got back home, my door was open and she said hi to us and saw me hungover af with these 2 chicks.

She kept her shyt together when I would say something to her but I could still tell she was back in jealous mode.

After eating I was about to leave to go grab cigs and she was about to leave as well to go home so we walked out together, I walked her to her car and we hugged goodbye and as I was walking away she said “hey MrJack” I turned around and she said “we should hangout sometime” with a smile and I just said “yea definitely, just hit me up when you’re free”. She said okay and I continued walking to my car.

Haven’t heard from her until today, she sent me a Snapchat that I haven’t opened yet.

I don’t get it, I literally oozed almost every alpha trait a girl could want in a man that she would want to fvck but I was ultimately rejected because she wanted it to be “special”. Did I overdo the jealousy thing? I honestly wasn’t even aiming to do that I just did what was natural to me in the moment.

Is she just an attention whvre with low interest for me? Is she thinking she wants to be exclusive with me and taking it slow? Is that what women do when they want exclusivity with a man?

WHAT DOES IT MEANNN.

Thanks for reading all the way through, if you guys did.

Female perspective: She's interested but cautious because she witnessed you oozing all of your alpha and charm flirting with other girls and waking up in bed the next day with two of them. To me this is plain as day but you don't think like a female so I guess this confuses you.

Maybe guys are not as phased by a girl flirting him and with other guys throughout the night as long as she leaves with him but girls are phased by this. Most girls, even if they will just be another notch, don't want it thrown in their face and that's what you were doing whether you realized that or not, by flirting with other girls while also flirting with her. Her saying she wants it to be special sounds lame I admit but she is likely really saying, " I don't want to be your sperm deposit at the end of a night of you flirting with other girls". Even if that's what it really is about for you, don't make it so obvious as to have her second guess casual sex. I'm not saying profess love for her either or anything lol but there's a saying "never take your eye off your target" and you referred to her as such so ... if you had given her more of your focus this post would be reading differently.

But, she is interested and is now suggesting you get together so this is when you make plans to do something just the two of you to lower her guard. She already knows your a big flirt and player so any decision she makes after that is on her.

 

[MrJack]

Your thread reminded me that it's really super irritating when girls c*ckblock you out of jealousy but have no intention of actually dating or sleeping with you in the immediate future either. It's kind of BS. Imagine if a guy walked over to a girl with a dude and blocked her, then bailed afterwards and didn't even kiss her. Ridiculous.

Sounds like she blocked you with the mirror chick but at the same time blue-balled you because she has that level of power to do that. Because her interest level is high enough to get jealous of you flirting, but low enough that she just wants to make you an orbiter.

I wouldn't waste more time on her unless she starts actively pursuing you first, hang out with some other girls and continue playing the jealousy angle because she sounds like she's taking you for granted with all these microdates and kino with no actual result.

Girls like this love keeping you single and in their orbit, but normally have no intention of sleeping with you because that removes the attention they're leeching off you.

It’s ridiculous man, so hypocritical and annoying.

Its confusing af because she is single and she has to be fvcking SOMEONE right? And that someone is obviously not some beta buck so why tf would I be placed in orbit with this scenario? It just makes no sense.

But yea I’ll just keep doing my thing, no point in dwelling on what’s going on in her mind. It’d be wonderful if we could read them for a day... just a day haha

 

[MrJack]

Female perspective: She's interested but cautious because she witnessed you oozing all of your alpha and charm flirting with other girls and waking up in bed the next day with two of them. To me this is plain as day but you don't think like a female so I guess this confuses you.

Maybe guys are not as phased by a girl flirting him and with other guys throughout the night as long as she leaves with him but girls are phased by this. Most girls, even if they will just be another notch, don't want it thrown in their face and that's what you were doing whether you realized that or not, by flirting with other girls while also flirting with her. Her saying she wants it to be special sounds lame I admit but she is likely really saying, " I don't want to be your sperm deposit at the end of a night of you flirting with other girls". Even if that's what it really is about for you, don't make it so obvious as to have her second guess casual sex. I'm not saying profess love for her either or anything lol but there's a saying "never take your eye off your target" and you referred to her as such so ... if you had given her more of your focus this post would be reading differently.

But, she is interested and is now suggesting you get together so this is when you make plans to do something just the two of you to lower her guard. She already knows your a big flirt and player so any decision she makes after that is on her.

Hey thanks for the reply. I guess I really wasn’t thinking about it like that from her perspective. It’s often preached on here, I feel like, to always be flirting with all women in your vicinity if the opportunity is there and let the women essentially fight for your attention and almost feel LUCKY that you decided to pick her by the end of the night.

Maybe I’ve got that all wrong, and I can see now that I probably overdid it forsure but in all honesty i wasn’t doing it on purpose, it’s just how I act. But you’re right I should’ve given my target more attention than all the others rather than equal attention to all. Gotta adjust myself a little.

Maybe this ones a lost cause now but I’ll just chill and let her pursue if she wants to.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

It’s ridiculous man, so hypocritical and annoying.

Its confusing af because she is single and she has to be fvcking SOMEONE right? And that someone is obviously not some beta buck so why tf would I be placed in orbit with this scenario? It just makes no sense.

But yea I’ll just keep doing my thing, no point in dwelling on what’s going on in her mind. It’d be wonderful if we could read them for a day... just a day haha

It's an attention thing. Unless a girl is absolutely fawning over me or showing clear romantic interest, I don't even bother anymore. It's a fast track ticket to Orbiter Central otherwise.

I know many girls, especially at college age, who just seem to like having a harem of orbiters and actively try to build a little gang of them. Even with attractive men they could f*ck, they'd actually prefer to just get them orbiting for the ego trip.

You can only ever lose that game, so don't play it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Female perspective: She's interested but cautious because she witnessed you oozing all of your alpha and charm flirting with other girls and waking up in bed the next day with two of them.

Except that happened after, not before, she said no to sex.

OP, every woman is different. Unfortunately, there is no universal strategy that will work for all women (other than, perhaps, being an A-list celebrity). You could have acted the exact same way with a different woman and would have had a much better result. What happens when you get more life experience is that you start recognizing the type of woman you are dealing with and start adjusting your tactics according.