Escalated too quick and turned her off

[anon00]

Fourth date... i set it up at my house for netflix and drinks.


I couldn't get it up,she didnt want to take her clothes off so she turned me off and she got turned off because I went to third base too quick,sucked her tits and made out, but I was savage like if I hadn't had sex all this beta energy bullsh1t.... but we cuddled and I did do a few things from that escalation.. She said she got aroused from us talking at the end and that I should have started there. Also said to let it just happen that I shouldn't always be looking to bed her (didn't throw me off).

So in conclusion, im going to dissapear for a whole week or nexting. Is this salvageable to fvck her or am i pegged beta from this. Opinions?

 

[marmel75]

She is an ex, how exactly do you escalate too fast?

 

[anon00]

She is an ex, how exactly do you escalate too fast?

We hadnt been in contact for a year.

 

[claudolfgeorgini]

You didn't do anything "beta".

"I shouldn't always be looking to bed her"

I've had an ex tell me that almost word for word. I had smashed the previous day and then the next day she hit me with that.
Eventually, she told me that she wanted to be in a relationship again.

Your ex wants you to re-commit to her.

 

[anon00]

im not commiting sh1t, shes the reason i turned redpill. when we were cuddling i told her that i didnt want a relationship. She said she didnt either, and i also said "i dont want to sound arrogant or make you think im threatning you, but i will feel forced to obtain my sex elsewhere and that i could easily just hit someone else rn, im a guy that has needs. I also told her that i would usually just walk out, but that i wanted to give her another chance.

She said that would be irrespecutful, and i told her well thats how things are too bad, i have needs just like you have needs for attention. and i was fondling her the whole time we talked...


Supposely me saying all this turned her on... but i said it in a calm matter not sounding butthurt.

 

[anon00]

i never had a woman give me a LMR, i just looked up this topic on other forums, shts real. Usually girls come in the bedroom its 100% fvck, they take their clothes off or ill do it for them. Whats the best course of action at this point?

 

[devilkingx2]

Also said to let it just happen that I shouldn't always be looking to bed her (didn't throw me off).

try again next time same as before, if it doesn't work go ghost on her til she puts some effort in

girls who want to fvck you will fvck you, girls who don't won't. the only time you should take something like "you shouldn't always be looking to bed her" seriously is if you guys have been hooking up consistently for a while

 

[anon00]

try again next time same as before, if it doesn't work go ghost on her til she puts some effort in

girls who want to fvck you will fvck you, girls who don't won't. the only time you should take something like "you shouldn't always be looking to bed her" seriously is if you guys have been hooking up consistently for a while

this is true , will doing dread game for a week work, before getting back to her? if it doesn't I'll just next but wondering if that applies in this situation.

 

[BeExcellent]

Ok. I have a question. Actually I have 2 questions. You said she's the girl who turned you red pill.

1. What happened before that broke y'all up etc.?

2. How are things different now?

I get from your original post that you want to plate her...but she isn't interested in being just an option. I don't see how this resolves itself in a way that is satisfactory to either of you.

Why is getting her back into bed so important to you? Ego? Teaching her a lesson?

 

[devilkingx2]

this is true , will doing dread game for a week work, before getting back to her? if it doesn't I'll just next but wondering if that applies in this situation.

nah I think dread will backfire here, just ignoring will be fine

 

[wifehunter]

Remember, you're supposed to be busy with your mission!?!

Women make better escalators. They'll indicate with body lauguage that they're ready. They will 'jump your bones' or be all over all you, if you play your cards right.

Just lead by showing a little interest, and let her fill in space you create. Sometimes, all you have to do is talk to them, then they gush and get all giddy. They really are fun, if you don't make them the center of your life.

Trying too hard is the best way to shoot yourself in the foot.

 

[anon00]

Ok. I have a question. Actually I have 2 questions. You said she's the girl who turned you red pill.

1. What happened before that broke y'all up etc.?

2. How are things different now?

1. I Did all the classic blue book mistakes, and I went no contact. Seems like shes out of her party phase and into the transitory phase, after riding a c0ck carrousel.

2. She has shown to be a lot more submisive and a lot of sh1t testing went on the dates, but I didn't fail any except this last one I should have gone freeze-out.

what has changed? I have better game, doing a lot better economically, physically and on my purpose to make money from my passions.


how do you know she isn't interested in being an option? If she wants to come back into monogamy (or at least as she thinks) she has to start as a plate. I genuinelly still feel attraction for her but it's not on her terms to come back and demand exclusivity if that's what you think she's implying, right?

 

[BeExcellent]

this is true , will doing dread game for a week work, before getting back to her? if it doesn't I'll just next but wondering if that applies in this situation.

Advice from the old lady: Dread game in this scenario will confirm for her that you only want sex and you are off pouting because you didn't get it.

The correct play with this woman is to rebuild rapport & comfort. But you've already let her know you do not value her as a person through your conversation & your actions. She sees your behavior as extremely selfish and devaluing to her. That's why she resisted you.

Pushing for sex and dread game will do nothing except tell her sex is all you care about (you actually already told her this yourself.), I'd bet money SHE drops you & will be unresponsive when you reach out.

Post back after you go NC a week. Should be instructive. If Im wrong so be it, but I doubt I am.

 

[BeExcellent]

1. I Did all the classic blue book mistakes, and I went no contact. Seems like shes out of her party phase and into the transitory phase, after riding a c0ck carrousel.

2. She has shown to be a lot more submisive and a lot of sh1t testing went on the dates, but I didn't fail any except this last one I should have gone freeze-out.

what has changed? I have better game, doing a lot better economically, physically and on my purpose to make money from my passions.


how do you know she isn't interested in being an option? If she wants to come back into monogamy (or at least as she thinks) she has to start as a plate. I genuinelly still feel attraction for her but it's not on her terms to come back and demand exclusivity if that's what you think she's implying, right?

Anytime you have a direct conversation about your intent it's a double edged sword. If you want her to add back in to your rotation (which IS reasonable enough), you are better served to say:

"Listen. I'm seeing other people here & there since we've been apart but I still enjoy spending time with you & I'd like to see where it goes..."

See how different that is than what you said?

You said (basically):

"Look. I have sexual needs. If you are unwilling to service those needs there's 4 other girls who I can call RIGHT NOW who will. So how 'bout it?"

Bleh. Turned her right off. Hard core.

Notice how the dialogue I'm suggesting is honest that you guys aren't exclusive and gives her some comfort & reassurance....notice how the comments you made focus exclusively on you and do not offer her any comfort (or dignity for that matter).

No self respecting woman would be willing to be an option sexually under the totally selfish conditions you put forward.

You gotta get out of ass hole phase and get more nuanced. Or you're going to blow yourself out.

Let us know the outcome.

 

[anon00]

.

you're right, I didn't look at it that way. Wording has a lot in say.

when we were cuddling,she asked me what I thought about women who just sleep with guys and are considered sluts, and about guys who just sleep with countless women, she thinks it's to fill a void.

@ the sluts i told her it's normal and its just a phase.
@ guys who sleep with countless women, I told her that infact the only void that they feel is because after sleeping with countless women you dont really find the one you have sex with and also enjoy spending time with (the presence). I tried to soften things by saying this was possibly her in my situation. (enjoying her presence)