Need urgent advice for a chick

[lizardking82]

this current chick has made my brains melt, yeah you got it right im in love with this specific woman.

Yeah, here's where the problem starts right away. And no, you're not in love, you're in lust and you seem like a guy with not so much experience with women.

she told me i don't feel the "Spark" then i realize i ****ed up.

Then the sex started to go away, and she didn't want to have sex with me.

All to plan. About 6 months in, you destroyed every possible thought she had that you might be relationship material with your plans and games and tactics. Too robotic with the "she was doing almost 100% of the chase", I can tell you're still in the mechanical part of this whole thing, trying to follow rules and what not and that sends her a vibe of a man who is in the making and guess what, my man? Chicks don't like men in the making. They like them at first because they can't figure them out, but about 6 months is more than enough to discover the way a confused guy does things and once she figures you out...you're done. Like you are right now.

i realized that she turned the relationship into a platonic one, i told her that is unacceptable and that i dont want a woman to be buudys and to call me when she feels she is ready to be affectionate with me in the bed to give me a call and i left.

Why would you do that? It is not a man's job to push for a relationship. If she sees you as high value enough, she will want to lock you down herself. Stop trynna be a woman. Be the man, maybe then she will be the woman.

Lots of work for you to do.

 

[resilient]

Stick to NC. If she does come back, you need to test her. How has she changed? Is she more invested in you physically, emotionally, or is she still distant? That spark typically doesn't come back. Especially if she's feeling out her other backup options.

In the meantime, like other guys have said here, direct the focus back on you. What does Alex want? What does Alex want to do? What are Alex's goals? Do you have plates back in your rotation or potentials that you want to ask out on dates that are more interested in you? How's your health?

Don't lose sleep over this woman! Get out there, get social, get new numbers, and go have fun!

 

[Spaz]

She melted your mind...

No wonder there's no spark.

If I had a daughter I'd ask her to leave such a man.

 

[alex1092]

Yeah, here's where the problem starts right away. And no, you're not in love, you're in lust and you seem like a guy with not so much experience with women.



All to plan. About 6 months in, you destroyed every possible thought she had that you might be relationship material with your plans and games and tactics. Too robotic with the "she was doing almost 100% of the chase", I can tell you're still in the mechanical part of this whole thing, trying to follow rules and what not and that sends her a vibe of a man who is in the making and guess what, my man? Chicks don't like men in the making. They like them at first because they can't figure them out, but about 6 months is more than enough to discover the way a confused guy does things and once she figures you out...you're done. Like you are right now.



Why would you do that? It is not a man's job to push for a relationship. If she sees you as high value enough, she will want to lock you down herself. Stop trynna be a woman. Be the man, maybe then she will be the woman.

Lots of work for you to do.

Hey thanks, what work i have to do? explain please should i reach out since i, did a bad mistake there for the sex subjiect?

you are right about being robotic i was.. it was a mistake, im trying to get better but i need time and experience.

 

[RangerMIke]

Hey thanks, what work i have to do? explain please should i reach out since i, did a bad mistake there for the sex subjiect?

you are right about being robotic i was.. it was a mistake, im trying to get better but i need time and experience.

Okay... clearly you are looking for a magic pill to turn this around.... Sorry there really is no pill. I also know that you have already lost yourself and you haven't had enough experience with chicks to realize that yet... and you are not ready to let this go. Fine, I will tell you what to do....

Step 1: Completely avoid any and all contact with this chick... don't call her or text her. If she is on social media don't even look at her pages, just set it up where what she is doing does not even show up on your feed. Pretend she doesn't exist even if you can't stop thinking about her. When your mind heads in that direction, just get busy with something that will take your mind off it.

Step 2: You know what went wrong, and that's half the battle to self-improvement, congratulations... you are half-way there... many men never get to this point and they just find themselves in sh!tty relationship after sh!tty relationship until they settle into some unhappy horror show until they die... or like Anthony Bourdain or Robin Williams they just off themselves.

Step 3a: Work on yourself... IMO the best way to do this is to find some male friends that don't have these kinds of problems with women... because they don't give a fvck. Hang out with them, don't tell them you need 'help' or any of that BS... Just find some dudes you like spending time with, who like the same hobbies and be around them. You will pick up some of the traits these guys have... and for God's sake... don't befriend dudes that are in committed relationships or who are married... you are not going to learn a godd@mn thing from them. In addition, the only way you are going to fix your issues is to get some experience with other chicks. Go make dates and try to have some fun.

Step 3b: Work out... I mean work out hard... Get washboard abs and get in the best shape of your life. You also need to involve yourself in something competitive. There are Cross Fit gyms where men will push each other, and have competitions trying to one up each other... don't be afraid of this... they are only making you better. Not only will chicks find you more attractive because you are in better shape, but your T-count will rise, and women can smell it on you.

Step 3c: Where ever you are in life right now, work on improving your profession or school if you are studying. If you are working you should work at being the very best at whatever it is you are doing. If you are a car mechanic, be the best godd@mn car mechanic in the world... if you are an engineer... be the best godd@mn engineer possible. If you are a student work improving your GPA... shoot for Summa Cvm Laude. You might not ever get there, but always try to learn more and be the best you can be. This will instill you in a drive towards something productive and away from trying to make chicks happy and like you. Chicks find this very attractive.

Step 3d: Get some clothes that fit your body and your style. If you need new clothes... go get them. You do not have to spend a lot of money of clothes, but get clothes that fit you... if you don't look good in something toss it out. It's okay to to hang around the house it that old t-shirt with holes in it you love... but never go out in public without looking the best you can. It takes work, and it can be a a pain, but it gets you in the habit of being the best you can be. My grandfather taught me this as a kid. We would be working on a car... covered in grease, and he would need to go to the hardware store to get a tool... we would go inside... get cleaned up, change and dress in decent clothes, go to the store... get the tool... then come back home and change back into work clothes. Sure it would be easier to just hop in the car looking like pig, get what we need and come back... but you don't do this for efficiency... you do it to get in the habit of showing up looking the best you can... also you never know when you are going to run into a chick you are attracted to, and you want to look your best.

Step 3 a, b, c, &d should be done simultaneously... and this is going to take some time.... at least 6 months... longer the more fvcked up you are. Again a minimum of 6 months or however long it takes for the total of Step 3 to become a habit. Then you are ready for Step 4.

Step 4: Call your snow-flake princess and try to make a date. Then see what happens.

However, be warned that if you are doing Steps 1 thru 3 properly, you will not be interested in Step 4 because you will have much better options. But if your desire is so strong to get her, then maybe you can put that desire to effective use geared towards self improvement If you are worried that you will miss out on getting her... don't worry about it. Most dudes are just as bad as you are, and if she's with another dude, you have a 9 in 10 chance that he's screwing up as bad, if not worst than you.

Good luck, come back in 6 months and let us know how you are doing and brag about your success story. We all like a good success story.

 

[alex1092]

Okay... clearly you are looking for a magic pill to turn this around.... Sorry there really is no pill. I also know that you have already lost yourself and you haven't had enough experience with chicks to realize that yet... and you are not ready to let this go. Fine, I will tell you what to do....

Step 1: Completely avoid any and all contact with this chick... don't call her or text her. If she is on social media don't even look at her pages, just set it up where what she is doing does not even show up on your feed. Pretend she doesn't exist even if you can't stop thinking about her. When your mind heads in that direction, just get busy with something that will take your mind off it.

Step 2: You know what went wrong, and that's half the battle to self-improvement, congratulations... you are half-way there... many men never get to this point and they just find themselves in sh!tty relationship after sh!tty relationship until they settle into some unhappy horror show until they die... or like Anthony Bourdain or Robin Williams they just off themselves.

Step 3a: Work on yourself... IMO the best way to do this is to find some male friends that don't have these kinds of problems with women... because they don't give a fvck. Hang out with them, don't tell them you need 'help' or any of that BS... Just find some dudes you like spending time with, who like the same hobbies and be around them. You will pick up some of the traits these guys have... and for God's sake... don't befriend dudes that are in committed relationships or who are married... you are not going to learn a godd@mn thing from them. In addition, the only way you are going to fix your issues is to get some experience with other chicks. Go make dates and try to have some fun.

Step 3b: Work out... I mean work out hard... Get washboard abs and get in the best shape of your life. You also need to involve yourself in something competitive. There are Cross Fit gyms where men will push each other, and have competitions trying to one up each other... don't be afraid of this... they are only making you better. Not only will chicks find you more attractive because you are in better shape, but your T-count will rise, and women can smell it on you.

Step 3c: Where ever you are in life right now, work on improving your profession or school if you are studying. If you are working you should work at being the very best at whatever it is you are doing. If you are a car mechanic, be the best godd@mn car mechanic in the world... if you are an engineer... be the best godd@mn engineer possible. If you are a student work improving your GPA... shoot for Summa Cvm Laude. You might not ever get there, but always try to learn more and be the best you can be. This will instill you in a drive towards something productive and away from trying to make chicks happy and like you. Chicks find this very attractive.

Step 3d: Get some clothes that fit your body and your style. If you need new clothes... go get them. You do not have to spend a lot of money of clothes, but get clothes that fit you... if you don't look good in something toss it out. It's okay to to hang around the house it that old t-shirt with holes in it you love... but never go out in public without looking the best you can. It takes work, and it can be a a pain, but it gets you in the habit of being the best you can be. My grandfather taught me this as a kid. We would be working on a car... covered in grease, and he would need to go to the hardware store to get a tool... we would go inside... get cleaned up, change and dress in decent clothes, go to the store... get the tool... then come back home and change back into work clothes. Sure it would be easier to just hop in the car looking like pig, get what we need and come back... but you don't do this for efficiency... you do it to get in the habit of showing up looking the best you can... also you never know when you are going to run into a chick you are attracted to, and you want to look your best.

Step 3 a, b, c, &d should be done simultaneously... and this is going to take some time.... at least 6 months... longer the more fvcked up you are. Again a minimum of 6 months or however long it takes for the total of Step 3 to become a habit. Then you are ready for Step 4.

Step 4: Call your snow-flake princess and try to make a date. Then see what happens.

However, be warned that if you are doing Steps 1 thru 3 properly, you will not be interested in Step 4 because you will have much better options. But if your desire is so strong to get her, then maybe you can put that desire to effective use geared towards self improvement If you are worried that you will miss out on getting her... don't worry about it. Most dudes are just as bad as you are, and if she's with another dude, you have a 9 in 10 chance that he's screwing up as bad, if not worst than you.

Good luck, come back in 6 months and let us know how you are doing and brag about your success story. We all like a good success story.

You just made me realize how stupid i am.

Yeah i called i set a date but yeah im stupid.

Thanks for opening my brain.

 

[Dash Riprock]

@RangerMIke and @TheGambino have some good advice.

I'll add my thoughts as I've been there too.

1- NC is the way to go for two reasons: 1) It can, and usually does, get their hamster wheel spinning and 2) It's the best therapy for you to forget about her quickly.
2- I actually agree with you on calling her out on the platonic s*hit and telling her to hit you up if she changes her mind. It's out of the Corey Wayne playbook. Basically it says, "You can't string me along like some chump, so I'm moving on. But, when you realize how bad you f*ucked up, maybe, just maybe I'll be around, but no guarantees." I like it.
3- Relationships ebb and flow. Anyone who's been in multiple LTRs knows this. Don't freak out too bad if things have gone a bit cold. Back off, go NC, do your own thing for awhile. Hang out with some other women, date them, have se*x, whatever. Women are VERY emotional and often go cold at no fault of the guy, too. Most guys will press and push when this happens driving the woman further away and hurting their chances for a reconciliation. Let her "cool off" and focus on YOU. Don't push or press. EVERY TIME I've done this after they've "gone cold, " they've come back. Most of the time I don't want them back by that time.
4- Learn from your mistakes here. Corey Wayne and especially Doc Love know their s*hit. David DeAngelo is good too as is Dave Wygant. Some guys here bash dating coaches because "all they try to do is make $." Yeah, no s*hit. I like to make $ too. And if you're good at what you do, you should get paid for it. All advice is subjective. Don't listen to SS whiners or complainers.
5- ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS keep your self-respect and dignity intact. NO women is ever worth compromising it.

Good luck.

~Dash

 

[MrJack]

Hey guy, first time posting here.

So i need some advice about a cheek, iv been following corey waynes stuff for many years and doc love stuff not so much just recently i came across his work, i booked a session with him as well.

Apart from that im trying to perfect my game, but this current chick has made my brains melt, yeah you got it right im in love with this specific woman.

So iv been dating her for almost 7 months everything was perfect, her chasing 100 percent almost, me doing around 10% 20%.

One day she just suddenly became distand, cold like a fish. we went one day without contact i didnt reached out to her then i called her and i noticed her tone of voice has changed.

Yes i did mistakes i was always available when she called always answered her texts and stuff and yeah she never falled in love with me. I knew she was not in love but eventually she told me that one day when we were out, she told me i don't feel the "Spark" then i realize i ****ed up.

Then the sex started to go away, and she didn't want to have sex with me.

I told her that night that if she plans to go home with me and sleep i don't want that i want a woman that also wants me sexually, she agreed and she completely changed her behavior that night she got wet and everything and we had the best sex ever.

Then she went for a week camping for work and school stuff she is a teacher.

I backed off 100 percent, she did the pursuing 100 percent till she was back she texted me every day till she was back i answered after 2-3 hours and even the next day so i was not always available any more to her.

she came back i took her out for a date tried to be humorous funny for her to have a good time she was tired cold after a week no sex, the next day again no sex. all though she was chasing me hugging me kissing me.

i realized that she turned the relationship into a platonic one, i told her that is unacceptable and that i dont want a woman to be buudys and to call me when she feels she is ready to be affectionate with me in the bed to give me a call and i left.

My question is maybe i was too eager to **** her and i lost my self emotional control and i ****ed up?
or i did the right thing?

really i don't know im in love with ther, and we are currently 1 and a half day with no contact.

any help is appreciated.

Sorry dude but if her “coldness” happened out of nowhere like that and all the sudden she didn’t want to be sexual with you, my thought would be she met Chadwick Thundercvck somewhere along the way and decided to cheat on you.

**** happened to me in the past. I could be wrong, maybe some other factors are playing a part in it but that’s what my gut says after reading your post.

Either way, you did a good job telling her you aren’t going to be with someone like that.

Stick with no contact and see what happens. I’d demote her to a plate.. she said she felt no spark anymore. I mean kudos to her for being truthful about it but I would feel like a disrespected chump after hearing that and I wouldn’t put any effort to make her feel the spark again. That’s an uphill battle that you shouldn’t waste your valuable time on.

 

[alex1092]

@RangerMIke and @TheGambino have some good advice.

I'll add my thoughts as I've been there too.

1- NC is the way to go for two reasons: 1) It can, and usually does, get their hamster wheel spinning and 2) It's the best therapy for you to forget about her quickly.
2- I actually agree with you on calling her out on the platonic s*hit and telling her to hit you up if she changes her mind. It's out of the Corey Wayne playbook. Basically it says, "You can't string me along like some chump, so I'm moving on. But, when you realize how bad you f*ucked up, maybe, just maybe I'll be around, but no guarantees." I like it.
3- Relationships ebb and flow. Anyone who's been in multiple LTRs knows this. Don't freak out too bad if things have gone a bit cold. Back off, go NC, do your own thing for awhile. Hang out with some other women, date them, have se*x, whatever. Women are VERY emotional and often go cold at no fault of the guy, too. Most guys will press and push when this happens driving the woman further away and hurting their chances for a reconciliation. Let her "cool off" and focus on YOU. Don't push or press. EVERY TIME I've done this after they've "gone cold, " they've come back. Most of the time I don't want them back by that time.
4- Learn from your mistakes here. Corey Wayne and especially Doc Love know their s*hit. David DeAngelo is good too as is Dave Wygant. Some guys here bash dating coaches because "all they try to do is make $." Yeah, no s*hit. I like to make $ too. And if you're good at what you do, you should get paid for it. All advice is subjective. Don't listen to SS whiners or complainers.
5- ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS keep your self-respect and dignity intact. NO women is ever worth compromising it.

Good luck.

~Dash

Thank u.

 

[alex1092]

Sorry dude but if her “coldness” happened out of nowhere like that and all the sudden she didn’t want to be sexual with you, my thought would be she met Chadwick Thundercvck somewhere along the way and decided to cheat on you.

**** happened to me in the past. I could be wrong, maybe some other factors are playing a part in it but that’s what my gut says after reading your post.

Either way, you did a good job telling her you aren’t going to be with someone like that.

Stick with no contact and see what happens. I’d demote her to a plate.. she said she felt no spark anymore. I mean kudos to her for being truthful about it but I would feel like a disrespected chump after hearing that and I wouldn’t put any effort to make her feel the spark again. That’s an uphill battle that you shouldn’t waste your valuable time on.

Thanks.. you are correct.