Getting Into An LTR The “Right” Way?

[MrJack]

I searched but nothing came up.

My question is what is the right way to enter into an LTR?

I understand you never bring it up, that’s the woman’s job.

I also understand that you aren’t supposed to just say yes right when she asks... I think?

My current understanding is that after you’ve been fvcking a plate for around 3 months or longer, and if everything else is on point as far as your game, she will inevitably bring up LTR talk.

When she does this are you supposed to automatically 100% tell her you “like what we have going right now but it’s a little too early, I’d love to keep seeing you and see where things go but I understand if you aren’t down for that yada yada.”?? Even if you actually ARE down for an LTR with her?

And then once you continue fvcking her for a little while longer, then are YOU supposed to bring it up?

If so, how do you go about doing that?

Or if not, is it acceptable to.. well, accept her “offer” to be exclusive when she first brings it up?

I’ve always been confused as fvck regarding this and remember having read conflicting arguments in the past.

Lay some knowledge on me please.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I searched but nothing came up.

My question is what is the right way to enter into an LTR?

I understand you never bring it up, that’s the woman’s job.

I also understand that you aren’t supposed to just say yes right when she asks... I think?

My current understanding is that after you’ve been fvcking a plate for around 3 months or longer, and if everything else is on point as far as your game, she will inevitably bring up LTR talk.

When she does this are you supposed to automatically 100% tell her you “like what we have going right now but it’s a little too early, I’d love to keep seeing you and see where things go but I understand if you aren’t down for that yada yada.”?? Even if you actually ARE down for an LTR with her?

And then once you continue fvcking her for a little while longer, then are YOU supposed to bring it up?

If so, how do you go about doing that?

Or if not, is it acceptable to.. well, accept her “offer” to be exclusive when she first brings it up?

I’ve always been confused as fvck regarding this and remember having read conflicting arguments in the past.

Lay some knowledge on me please.

Use the word "maybe" like they do us and stretch another 3 months.

 

[AttackFormation]

Here's some knowledge.... there's nothing you're "supposed" to do because someone internet wanker somewhere said so (like the pathetic site RoK). Game is not a rulebook, it's a state of mind aimed at freeing you from living your life the way other people have told you to so you have the confidence to do what you want and develop your own wisdom.

 

[R.U.G.]

Tread carefully young Padwan. Many modern women are wolves in sheeps clothing. However, we all need to get it out of our system, so here's what I used to do and it was pretty good. One, you never bring it up, the woman always has to bring it up. Two, always have options and keep busy. You want her to continue to chase the carrot. The carrot being the LTR. You need to play with their emotions. Give and take. I'd still back away and say I am in no rush, let's just see where it goes. Ironically, this works more to drive her interest up if she really has true interest in you. If you automatically cave and agree to an LTR, then she will lose interest in you as there is nothing else for her to chase. Well, until she wants marriage or a baby.

Let things progress naturally, but always pull back and seem unsure. Women are attracted to mystery and the unknown. If they know what you are going to do, then you would appear to be "boring" in her eyes. Thus, she'd start to lose attraction to you and the relationship and more importantly, the sex will break down.

 

[MrJack]

Here's some knowledge.... there's nothing you're "supposed" to do because someone internet wanker somewhere said so (like the pathetic site RoK). Game is not a rulebook, it's a state of mind aimed at freeing you from living your life the way other people have told you to so you have the confidence to do what you want and develop your own wisdom.

Thanks for the wisdom. I’ve done it in the past where I wanted to wait but I actually would’ve been down to date the chick as she was “LTR material” but she wanted more and I stuck to my guns. Wasn’t worried about the “loss” but would’ve been interesting to see where it led over time.

Thanks again.

 

[MrJack]

Tread carefully young Padwan. Many modern women are wolves in sheeps clothing. However, we all need to get it out of our system, so here's what I used to do and it was pretty good. One, you never bring it up, the woman always has to bring it up. Two, always have options and keep busy. You want her to continue to chase the carrot. The carrot being the LTR. You need to play with their emotions. Give and take. I'd still back away and say I am in no rush, let's just see where it goes. Ironically, this works more to drive her interest up if she really has true interest in you. If you automatically cave and agree to an LTR, then she will lose interest in you as there is nothing else for her to chase. Well, until she wants marriage or a baby.

Let things progress naturally, but always pull back and seem unsure. Women are attracted to mystery and the unknown. If they know what you are going to do, then you would appear to be "boring" in her eyes. Thus, she'd start to lose attraction to you and the relationship and more importantly, the sex will break down.

I understand completely what you are saying and agree with it but it still comes down to the question at hand..

If you always keep this mystery going then what do you do when you are ready to enter the LTR?

Because I feel like most women wouldn’t want to ask AGAIN right? They would essentially be waiting for YOU to be ready. So once you are ready what do you do? She’s already brought it up so if I can’t bring it up ever how do you escalate that?

Thanks for the reply.

 

[R.U.G.]

I understand completely what you are saying and agree with it but it still comes down to the question at hand..

If you always keep this mystery going then what do you do when you are ready to enter the LTR?

Because I feel like most women wouldn’t want to ask AGAIN right? They would essentially be waiting for YOU to be ready. So once you are ready what do you do? She’s already brought it up so if I can’t bring it up ever how do you escalate that?

Thanks for the reply.

There are key signs you can look for and then just fall into an LTR w/o saying it. However, if you ever bring it up, a females hamster brain would feel that you are trying to force or block her in. Thus, I would always say, and since my divorce, always said, let's see where it goes. I would add, I am not opposed to it, but let's see how things go naturally.

Ever hear of chasing the dragon? It's a term originally used for drugs, but it also works well with relationships for both genders. Since excitement and the unknowing creates emotions and dopamine shots, each would continue to achieve the same effect. If she already has what she wants (LTR, marriage, baby, house, etc.), those dopamine shots are no longer there. Thus, if you keep her wondering and guessing, she continues to chase the dragon. That is what you want. Always keep the carrot in front of her for as long as possible. Eventually, she will get frustrated and you'll have to make a decision. Just remember, she's putting her best face on to show you she's the type of woman you want and desire. More often than not, it's a lie. The killer of all relationships is boredom and predictability. Don't fall into that trap. The only way to do that is being unpredictable. If you are with her all the time, that is hard to do. You still need to live your life and she lives hers. Distance and time makes her think of you more.

Just don't over think things. I would also argue, unless you want to have kids with this woman or marriage; what's in it for you? We all know what's in it for her..

 

[zekko]

Generally speaking, it's best to let the girl bring it up. Now I'm sure there are plenty of guys in the world who brought it up first and didn't get blown out. But as a a general rule, I'd be content to let it be the girl's job. That's the safest course.

Once she brings it up however, if you are vibing well with her and would like to enter into a LTR with her, I see no reason to pretend that you don't want to. That's just being fake, which is not something I like to do. It also helps that you both agree on what that means. Some girls might think that it means "Okay, I'm exclusive with you now, but if Billy asks me to go to the bar tomorrow night, then I'm going". Such a girl may not be LTR-worthy, depending on what you think being exclusive means.

 

[flowtheory]

All great answers in here. I was curious about this question to for some time. Makes sense about ‘let’s see where it goes’.

Also @R.U.G. made a good point on “she’s putting her best face on to show you she’s the one you want and desire”.
I didn’t know it but recently I was in a interesting scenario where the woman who friendzoned me was actually chasing me, and I didn’t even know it, then I did some things and moved in for my kill too late.
In hindsight she was doing everything I desired for a LTR. And the second I said I wasn’t interested in her, or dating (even though a fallacy) her behaviour COMPLETELY changed and has since. She’s super distant now, and a little weird and starting to play what feels like woman mind games. Even though we’re ‘just friends’.

They’re sneaky, those women. But to the point; saying you just want to see where it goes and reject her initial caging of you, you see how they act towards you and if they actually have high interest or not.
The woman you choose to be exclusive and date, is one ofthe most important decisions in your life. So choose one whose support and interest is unwavering; there’s tactics to reaveal their truths and this is one.

 

[R.U.G.]

Generally speaking, it's best to let the girl bring it up. Now I'm sure there are plenty of guys in the world who brought it up first and didn't get blown out. But as a a general rule, I'd be content to let it be the girl's job. That's the safest course.

Once she brings it up however, if you are vibing well with her and would like to enter into a LTR with her, I see no reason to pretend that you don't want to. That's just being fake, which is not something I like to do. It also helps that you both agree on what that means. Some girls might think that it means "Okay, I'm exclusive with you now, but if Billy asks me to go to the bar tomorrow night, then I'm going". Such a girl may not be LTR-worthy, depending on what you think being exclusive means.

They play the same games. Being direct and predictable equates to a near 100% failure rate.

All great answers in here. I was curious about this question to for some time. Makes sense about ‘let’s see where it goes’.

Also @R.U.G. made a good point on “she’s putting her best face on to show you she’s the one you want and desire”.
I didn’t know it but recently I was in a interesting scenario where the woman who friendzoned me was actually chasing me, and I didn’t even know it, then I did some things and moved in for my kill too late.
In hindsight she was doing everything I desired for a LTR. And the second I said I wasn’t interested in her, or dating (even though a fallacy) her behaviour COMPLETELY changed and has since. She’s super distant now, and a little weird and starting to play what feels like woman mind games. Even though we’re ‘just friends’.

They’re sneaky, those women. But to the point; saying you just want to see where it goes and reject her initial caging of you, you see how they act towards you and if they actually have high interest or not.
The woman you choose to be exclusive and date, is one ofthe most important decisions in your life. So choose one whose support and interest is unwavering; there’s tactics to reaveal their truths and this is one.

Very true. However, in your case, just some rookie mistakes. We've all been there. Experience is our best teacher. Now you know what to look for. Though, the woman at the grocery store... Same thing happened to me in my late 20's; though not as obvious as yours. If you are describing it correctly, she might had been DTF. Bro...

 

[zekko]

Ever hear of chasing the dragon? It's a term originally used for drugs, but it also works well with relationships for both genders. Since excitement and the unknowing creates emotions and dopamine shots, each would continue to achieve the same effect. If she already has what she wants (LTR, marriage, baby, house, etc.), those dopamine shots are no longer there. Thus, if you keep her wondering and guessing, she continues to chase the dragon. That is what you want. Always keep the carrot in front of her for as long as possible.

The problem with this is that eventually you may want to get into a LTR with her. And if she's the type of person who gets bored as soon as you give her what she wants, she's just not suitable LTR material. Because at some point the stability is going to arrive. You can't keep her head spinning around forever. I don't even know why anyone would even desire that kind of life if that's what you have to do to keep it. If she's a spoiled brat who has to have the constant dopamine rush of unpredictability to keep her happy, I'd rather find out sooner than later so I can move on to some other girl who's more worth my time.

 

[R.U.G.]

The problem with this is that eventually you may want to get into a LTR with her. And if she's the type of person who gets bored as soon as you give her what she wants, she's just not suitable LTR material. Because at some point the stability is going to arrive. You can't keep her head spinning around forever. I don't even know why anyone would even desire that kind of life if that's what you have to do is keep it. If she's a spoiled brat who has to have the constant dopamine rush of unpredictability to keep her happy, I'd rather find out sooner than later so I can move on to some other girl who's more worth my time.

Thus, I did state "Eventually, she will get frustrated and you'll have to make a decision.". However, it's best to delay as much as possible until the real personality comes out. This can be said for both men and women. However, my real personality always shows. However, my interest is always lower as I know things these days are temporary. You learn this with experience. We're in the ME and instant gratification frame of mind. I am not like this, but many, if not most women are. As a man, you need to keep up and change with the times. The only way to do this is have and show less interest than her. Now, over time, if she's a ride and die woman (rarity these days), you need to evaluate. Relationships are tough. Many people throw in the towel when there are rough waters ahead. If a woman is not on the same page as me and she wants to leave, I will not stop her. I'll even open the door for her.

It boils down to four simple words. Never chase the woman.

Oh by the way.

MOST women will keep their options open for the next few months. They attach emotionally about 6-9 months in.

Yep, very true. Most women I've dated this year tell me they're average relationship lasts 3 - 4 months. Again, dating seems to be losing it's luster for me. Seems pointless with the type of trash available in NYC.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Oh by the way.

MOST women will keep their options open for the next few months. They attach emotionally about 6-9 months in.

6-9 months I'd assume having sex .

 

[R.U.G.]

6-9 months I'd assume having sex .

You should be having sex by the 3rd or 4th date (at the latest). If you are not kissing and exploring her body by the second, next her.

 

[flowtheory]

Very true. However, in your case, just some rookie mistakes. We've all been there. Experience is our best teacher. Now you know what to look for. Though, the woman at the grocery store... Same thing happened to me in my late 20's; though not as obvious as yours. If you are describing it correctly, she might had been DTF. Bro...

Haha yea I know.. I’ve been a rookie this past week..

 

[MrJack]

Great responses guys, got some good insight here. I guess whenever that time comes I’ll have to judge how good the woman and I have been vibing and make a decision whether to put it off or kind of enter into LTR smoothly without being too direct and destroying ALL mystery.

Jesus this is exhausting lol.

 

[R.U.G.]

Great responses guys, got some good insight here. I guess whenever that time comes I’ll have to judge how good the woman and I have been vibing and make a decision whether to put it off or kind of enter into LTR smoothly without being too direct and destroying ALL mystery.

Jesus this is exhausting lol.

Just remember to put YOU first. Not her feelings, wants or desires. Yours. If, after a year you want to develop something more, AND she's putting you first, then you start putting her on equal ground. However, it's a slippery slope, so be careful. Do not allow the oxytocin (A/K/A love googles) cloud your judgement with habitation, marriage or babies with this or any other woman. Been there, done that, have multiple t-shirts. Seek legal advice before moving forward with anything serious (I.E. legal bondage).

I also encourage you to read these forums to get some insight on what other men (or males) have experienced and learn from the other posters on different points of view. One thing you will need to master is how to mold it around your specific situation. Women are incredibly complicated and full of emotions. One minute (yes minute) they love you, then five minutes later, she's not happy. When she says she's not happy, you're screwed. Start planning your exit. As always, YOU MUST PROTECT THE HOUSE. The house is YOURSELF.

And yes, there are women who've not been indoctrinated within feminism and are truly good women IF you get them young enough (and not riding the c0ck carrousel). In the 21st century, this is an extreme rarity. But hey, you may eventually win the lottery, and I may grow wings tomorrow. Anything is possible in this day and age.

Keep your eyes and ears open. Watch how she acts and not what she says. What a woman says is pointless, when compared to her actions.

 

[MrJack]

Just remember to put YOU first. Not her feelings, wants or desires. Yours. If, after a year you want to develop something more, AND she's putting you first, then you start putting her on equal ground. However, it's a slippery slope, so be careful. Do not allow the oxytocin (A/K/A love googles) cloud your judgement with habitation, marriage or babies with this or any other woman. Been there, done that, have multiple t-shirts. Seek legal advice before moving forward with anything serious (I.E. legal bondage).

I also encourage you to read these forums to get some insight on what other men (or males) have experienced and learn from the other posters on different points of view. One thing you will need to master is how to mold it around your specific situation. Women are incredibly complicated and full of emotions. One minute (yes minute) they love you, then five minutes later, she's not happy. When she says she's not happy, you're screwed. Start planning your exit. As always, YOU MUST PROTECT THE HOUSE. The house is YOURSELF.

And yes, there are women who've not been indoctrinated within feminism and are truly good women IF you get them young enough (and not riding the c0ck carrousel). In the 21st century, this is an extreme rarity. But hey, you may eventually win the lottery, and I may grow wings tomorrow. Anything is possible in this day and age.

Keep your eyes and ears open. Watch how she acts and not what she says. What a woman says is pointless, when compared to her actions.

Damn straight, I heard that. Thanks for your input brother.

If there’s one thing I’ve definitely learned and engrained in my head since swallowing the redpill, it’s that last thing you said..

What they SAY means absolutely nothing UNLESS they back it up with congruent actions.

 

[ohrein]

I'd focus on filtering women who are suitable more than how to get into an LTR. Any woman who is sleeping with you regularly will at some point ask to be exclusive. I had one plate where it took seven months so that's the longest I've experienced. But what you need to worry about is getting into an LTR for the right reasons and more importantly with the right woman. A woman high in empathy and impulse control. A woman with strong ethics and family values. A woman who after eight months still aggressively jumps you in bed like she can't help herself. A woman who pays her way despite earning less. A woman who is feminine and defers to your leadership.

Don't ask how do I get into an LTR, ask if you should get into an LTR with this woman. Constantly!

 

[CMNILS87]

I searched but nothing came up.

My question is what is the right way to enter into an LTR?

I understand you never bring it up, that’s the woman’s job.

I also understand that you aren’t supposed to just say yes right when she asks... I think?

My current understanding is that after you’ve been fvcking a plate for around 3 months or longer, and if everything else is on point as far as your game, she will inevitably bring up LTR talk.

When she does this are you supposed to automatically 100% tell her you “like what we have going right now but it’s a little too early, I’d love to keep seeing you and see where things go but I understand if you aren’t down for that yada yada.”?? Even if you actually ARE down for an LTR with her?

And then once you continue fvcking her for a little while longer, then are YOU supposed to bring it up?

If so, how do you go about doing that?

Or if not, is it acceptable to.. well, accept her “offer” to be exclusive when she first brings it up?

I’ve always been confused as fvck regarding this and remember having read conflicting arguments in the past.

Lay some knowledge on me please.

First off a plate rarely becomes more than a plate. 2, when you’re banging and hanging out those 3 months you’re suppose to be looking for red flags. **** like, how are your parents? and when was last boyfriend? and such. Not the marriage and babies questions

The whole point of dating for a guy is to find a girl that has a stable family life before you met her and isn’t ****ing crazy. If you nice guy it and try to just bang her, you miss all the red flags

Some girls will ask what you guys are after a month of sex, some 2 weeks, some 3 months. It’s up to you to decided if you want monogamy with her in the end and become locked down. A lot of women will just hang in there a loooooong time like 6 months to a year of trying to lock you down before giving up. True power is when she’s begging you for a relationship. If you don’t see yourself as that kind of man, you don’t have the SMV or confidence yet and you need to work on yourself.