Talk With My 15yo Daughter Re 'Hitting The Wall'

[logicallefty]

My 15yo daughter wants me and her mother to get back together in the worst way. The mom left me in 2004 when my daughter had just turned one. The typical scenario that we are all familiar with. Mom is 42 now, pretty thin still with a small gut. Redhead. Still not too bad on most scales but not as hot as she once was.

So last night my daughter and I were eating dinner and had this conversation, initiated by her. I will disclose first that my daughter and I have very open and honest talks, nothing is off limit and the gutter has no bottom when it comes to what we talk about.

LL Daughter: "You missed it dad, my mom was running around the house naked last Saturday. And drinking a beer at 9am. You could have came over and tapped dat' a$$"
LL: "HaHa would have been funny for me to see but I'm not gonna tap it, I got other tap opportunities, sorry <daughter nickname>
LL Daughter: "I didn't think so but thought you would get a kick out of it. To be honest I'm not sure if you would have wanted to tap it. I never realized my mom had such saggy t|ts!! ewwww!! ".
LL: "Well they didn't use to be back when I hit it. "
LL Daughter: "Yeah when you hit it and made me (laughing hard)"
LL: Exactly. Them saggy t|ts are called 'hitting the wall'. Your mother has hit the wall. That means her market value to single men has gone way down.
LL Daughter: "I can see that. She hasn't had a date or been laid since Scott (her second hubby she divorced about 1-2 years ago).
LL: "Well she probably still could if she wanted to. Now let your dad tell you something serious here. When you get into your mid 30s or early 40s your going to hit the wall too. Before that you are going to have men throwing themselves at you right and left. I'm not telling you to get with men you aren't attracted to. But what I am telling you is, be respectful and tactful to the men you turn away. Because someday the tables will be turned and they will be turning YOU away. I want you to always remember this.
LL Daughter: OK Dad I will..

(we continued our talk about SMV and the wall. My daughter totally gets it. Hopefully I just saved her and many men a lot of headache and heartache)

 

[zekko]

As someone who doesn't have any children, this is a fascinating example of parenting, by someone who is hyper aware of gender dynamics. The closest thing to advice I can remember from my parents is my mom telling me "Women are fickle". That has always stuck in my head, and I've often repeated it here.

Similarly, BeExcellent was talking about raising her son as red pill recently, and I was wondering how that works out. "Now son, I want you to go pump and dump as many girls as you can"?

 

[Infern0]

You talk with your 15 year old daughter about "hittin it" amd her mums saggy tits?

Dafuq?

 

[skinnyguy]

That’s some good advice LL. She’s lucky to have a dad who understands this stuff.

 

[Murk]

Good advice, but reading that kind of creeped me out. "Oh dad you should have hit it" "I have other things to hit" "mum has saggy tits"

All just seems a bit... weird. Not to mention disrespectful to your 15 year old daughters mother. To be fair, running round naked at 9am drinking... she's prob not the best person.

 

[Infern0]

Good advice, but reading that kind of creeped me out. "Oh dad you should have hit it" "I have other things to hit" "mum has saggy tits"

All just seems a bit... weird.

Its ****ed

Just raise your daughter to have some self respect, good values and integrity.

 

[logicallefty]

Good advice, but reading that kind of creeped me out. "Oh dad you should have hit it" "I have other things to hit" "mum has saggy tits"

All just seems a bit... weird. Not to mention disrespectful to your 15 year old daughters mother. To be fair, running round naked at 9am drinking... she's prob not the best person.

She never drank much at all when I was with her. Not sure what that’s about.

I would never have asked her any direct questions like this about her mother, but she brought it up and I don’t sugar coat anything with her. If my parents would have sugarcoated a few less things with me at age 15 I may not even be here on sosuave today. Who knows where I would be.

 

[Infern0]

She never drank much at all when I was with her. Not sure what that’s about.

I would never have asked her any direct questions like this about her mother, but she brought it up and I don’t sugar coat anything with her. If my parents would have sugarcoated a few less things with me at age 15 I may not even be here on sosuave today. Who knows where I would be.

Sugar coating aint the issue.

You are enabling blatent disrespect, you might be the "cool dad" but thats not a good dad.

This is one of those occasions where red pilling has dissapeared up its own ass.

 

[logicallefty]

Sugar coating aint the issue.

You are enabling blatent disrespect, you might be the "cool dad" but thats not a good dad.

This is one of those occasions where red pilling has dissapeared up its own ass.

Thank you for your input. We will just have to agree to disagree.

 

[CBear]

That was entertaining and you were totally right and cool about it but if this is what 15 year olds talk about with their parents then theres no wonder why Americans are the most promiscuous in the world.

 

[sazc]

I've already started talking to my 9yo daughter about the wall. I don't use the tell "the wall" but we talk about good nutrition, limiting junk food, getting exercise and taking care of your self and your skin from the inside out. She understands that paying attention to herself now (skin, body, etc) will keep her looking young, fresh and vibrant for a very long time. My son hears this as well.

And I model these behaviors for both my children so they can see I walk the talk.

As far as relationships and sex goes, I plan on coaching both of them (boy/girl) "don't waste your time with people who aren't giving you the time" "if they are non commital or non respobsive, they are not interested" because that's a relevant approach for BOTH men and women when it comes to relationships.

With both my children I plan on coaching them to take it slow with the opposite sex. Compatibility takes time to assess. Use a condom, std's can last a lifetime. For my daughter, to understand that a guy will sleep with you just because wants to have sex, but that doesn't mean he will ever see you again. So don't think sex will lock him in, because it won't. For my son, be careful of the easy lays, they tend to be the ones with mental issues.

 

[sazc]

I agree, it's a little weird to read about sometime talking about 'hitting it" with their 15 yo BUT I don't have a 15 yo and I can't predict what my relationship will be like with them at that age. I could be saying the same things.....

 

[logicallefty]

That was entertaining and you were totally right and cool about it but if this is what 15 year olds talk about with their parents then theres no wonder why Americans are the most promiscuous in the world.

She started asking me about sex around age 8. I actually spoke to a psychologist about it around then because it freaked me out. The psychologist actually said to have the conversations and even suggested a book to buy for her to read. The term "hitting it" was what she came up with and she has only used that term in the past year or so. I realize though that it may be kind of shocking to hear a father and a daughter use such a term. I totally get it.

 

[zekko]

I agree, it's a little weird to read about sometime talking about 'hitting it" with their 15 yo

I don't think it's weird, considering that she brought it up, and Lefty provided the context that she would like her parents to get back together. Just from my observation of today's media, kids today are exposed to all sorts of information that I couldn't have imagined when I was that young. So it's no surprise some of the terminology they use might be something that shocks us on some level. And even though I'm sure it's best to be more of a "parent" than a "friend", it's probably better to talk WITH someone than down TO them.

 

[CBear]

She started asking me about sex around age 8. I actually spoke to a psychologist about it around then because it freaked me out. The psychologist actually said to have the conversations and even suggested a book to buy for her to read. The term "hitting it" was what she came up with and she has only used that term in the past year or so. I realize though that it may be kind of shocking to hear a father and a daughter use such a term. I totally get it.

Yeah nothing against you obviously, it's just fascinating for me, being raised in and observing many different cultures and looking at what interests the children within those cultures and what they're able to talk about with their parents.

 

[sazc]

I had sex ed in school at 11. Where I live now my son got it in 5th grade at 11 and my daughter will get it in 4th grade at 10.

Coming back from lake Tahoe last week, my son was watching the news and saw the ticker talk about someone getting raped and he asked me what that meant, so I explained it to him using words he could understand.

"It's when one person forces another person to have sex, usually by holding them down or threatening to hurt them, and it is against the law"

It's important they understand the truths about life when they ask the questions

 

[Murk]

I had sexsed in school at 11. Where I live now my son got it in 5th grade at 11 and my daughter will get it in 4th grade at 10.

This reads so so wrong. Sex Ed*

 

[sazc]

This reads so so wrong. Sex Ed*

Lol, I was right in the middle of correcting that when I got called away from my desk, lol. Swype does me wrong so often! Lol

 

[Mazer]

Kids are going to do whatever the hell they want, despite what their parents tell them. Make sure they are surrounded by a solid group of friends that have integrity and great values. If your daughters friends are sluts, guess what, most likely she will also turn into a slut. They are influenced by their peers. Also, Its great that you guys have a good relationship but always make sure your daughter still knows you are the boss Lol

 

[The Duke]

@logicallefty props to you for having a close enough relationship with your daughter that you both can feel free to be yourselves and share open dialogue. Exposure to the reality of life at a young age gives one an advantage later in life.