There's so much I need to work on that I just don't know where to start

[maxwell0560505]

New guy here,

I consider myself an amateur who has no idea what he is doing with women. I understand that women are an addition to men's life, not a necessity, and my priority in life is going after my dreams. I admit that I have a lot to work on. I just don't know where to start. If you guys had to learn the fundamentals again, what would you emphasize as a beginner, and in what order?

I got a bad case of one-itis, and I had the never again moment, which is why I am reaching out for help.

 

[RedScorpion]

I recommend reading the DJ Bible if you haven’t already. Plenty of great fundamental advice there. Link at the very bottom or you can follow this http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

New guy here,

I consider myself an amateur who has no idea what he is doing with women. I understand that women are an addition to men's life, not a necessity, and my priority in life is going after my dreams. I admit that I have a lot to work on. I just don't know where to start. If you guys had to learn the fundamentals again, what would you emphasize as a beginner, and in what order?

I got a bad case of one-itis, and I had the never again moment, which is why I am reaching out for help.

What would you do if you never married, had a family or gf?

I think most men have no sense of self value nor a self concept outside being a utility of male resource's to female nature. Like, there's clearly a crisis in masculinity not yo mention the on going demonization of men.

Checkout David Deida way of the superior man.

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B8kQliclrbXrYnFkLTVTTFh6aGs/edit?pli=1

Its not for resale. The point is, a women is not your purpose. Your path in life isn't based on being a cog in the female biological strategy.

What do you value? What would make this life Worth while for you? Start here. If you don't know, figure it out. Go into solitude. Handle this.

A woman is of secondary importance. Yes,ho get baee but, not to the detriment of biz, your dreams, lifestyle, and path in life.


Nobody can answer this for you. I am seeking self knowledge. I explore consciousness. I want to be the strongest version of myself. Self actualization is kaizan. Its nonstop.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Your character

 

[mellow_yellow]

Welcome! Every member has had a beginning and first post here. Because you're completely new, you already know there's a LOT of material to absorb. Don't try to read a lot at once and try to apply all the concepts at once. That's not how learning works. Learn 1 major concept at a time, keep practicing it, and then you'll eventually internalize it.

My biggest regret is wasting so much time reading thread after thread to theorize when I should've been taking steady, consistent action and applying the advice slowly. Don't try to identify and fix all your shortcomings at once. Focus on the most important things first and tackle those priorities one step at a time. This is what I recommend to get started and what I would've told myself years ago.

1. Read 1 thread from the DJ Bible starting from the beginning on a consistent schedule (1x per day, 1x every few days). Do not read more. Feel free to take notes.
2. Apply the acquired knowledge by taking action in your life. Slowly, but surely work on your own goals, build social circles, and approach women. Don't try to approach 20 women in a day -- that's too much, counter-productive, unrealistic, and low value (you're prioritizing women over yourself).
3. Every week, analyze what you think you could've done better and post a thread here in the discussion forum for feedback
4. Begin strength training at the gym & eating clean to improve health and increase your looks. Google the StrongLifts 5x5 guide. I'm on the program right now. It's excellent.
5. Once you form these habits in a few weeks and have this machine running, now you can reflect and figure out the next thing you want to improve on.

The pecking order of a man's priorities is this:

1. Health: eating well, looking your best, and staying healthy
2. Goals: doing well in school, growing your career/business & making money, developing your hobbies & interests (e.g. guitar)
3. Relationships: family, friends, dating

Lastly, avoid visiting this forum everyday. It wouldn't hurt to create a schedule on when you'll visit. It's easy to get sucked into reading all these threads because it's so interesting when really you should be building your life outside of the internet. Also, social media is poison as it sabotages you into wanting a great life now when it takes time, sweat, tears, and discipline to build it. Start building your life now, not later!

 

[btownbuck2012]

I think it's difficult to understand the fleeting vanity of the game until you actually have some success and failure in it though.

I have a tough time articulating things on here the way I'd like but you hit the nail on the head here. I do believe that you need success and failure in dating in order to take a step back and look at it objectively and realistically. This is a must and very necessary in order to, I believe, start on that path to true enlightenment and your best self/higher consciousness as a man that @DEEZEDBRAH is referring to.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Solid gold in this thread.

 

[maxwell0560505]

Thank you very much guys

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I have a tough time articulating things on here the way I'd like but you hit the nail on the head here. I do believe that you need success and failure in dating in order to take a step back and look at it objectively and realistically. This is a must and very necessary in order to, I believe, start on that path to true enlightenment and your best self/higher consciousness as a man that @DEEZEDBRAH is referring to.

Man is a loss because he cannot fathom being anything but a utility cog in the hamster wheel that is the female biological strategy. A nonstop evolving imperative backed by toxic ideologies like feminism, daddy government, and the parade of single mother victimhood. Most men have absolutely no cognitive understanding of their self concept nor a life outside identifying with the role of provider.

Its 2018. That ship sailed as has a the time of stay at home moms. I cannot stress the necessity for male evolution enough in the Way of the superior man," David Deida. I am the first to agree with the sentiment that there are no original ideas. We pull from many sources.

Inundate yourself with some of the greatest minds like Jung, Nietzsche, Tolstoy, Peterson, Descartes, Socrates, etc. Checkout YouTubers like Eliot Hulse, RsdTyler, Jeff Cavalier, and others. Read the rational male by Rollo and the game by Neil Strauss. This is education. Socrates said it best saying, "know thy self." In keeping with the following, a man still must think for himself. The goal is free thinking.

You're a man. Be about your ambition. I have a path in life. I am seeking self knowledge. I am exploding consciousness. The mark is self actualization. Being the strongest version of myself as Hulse would say. A recent video surfaced about mgtow, about the matriarchy, about materialism, pursuing money but disregarding women being the same damn problem. Going into exploring consciousness, self knowledge, prioritizing that which truly matters.

Ying/yang!

You want to go into solitude, you want to value that which you cannot perceive outside your consciousness rather then chasing the beaten path. Sure, ho get baee. Drive a Porsche. Live it up. See the world as it is. Not how you wish it to be.

 

[sosousage]

On money and muscles

 

[btownbuck2012]

See the world as it is. Not how you wish it to be.

What's very interesting to me is that since I've adopted this mindset I've noticed that people who are trying to BS you, in any capacity, seem to have an intuitiveness for people like this and completely eject them from their reality. I do strongly believe that a-lot of what is jammed down our throat in mainstream society, i.e. the big on "FEMINISM" is pitched to us by predatory people. Predatory people in general know when they are dealing with someone who is "woke" and won't stand for it. They simply move on. Part of becoming a High Value man is learning how to deal with hate and indifference from the predatory society as a whole that is just beneath what we would consider mainstream. I've noticed this in dating, too. Trashy toxic women will treat you like kryptonite once you've stood up to them once or even verbalized your woke beliefs and thoughts within ear shot of them. Anyone else notice this?

 

[The Duke]

OP- I would focus on having fun with women. Expose yourself to a multitude of women until you discover their true nature. Along the way you will learn what makes them tick, what makes you tick, and how to get what you want. Don't take them serious, use each one as a learning experience and as you improve yourself keep going after higher quality women. Laying a good foundation takes time and some effort, but it pays off in the end. Eventually you want to reach the point where you are in the drivers seat.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

What's very interesting to me is that since I've adopted this mindset I've noticed that people who are trying to BS you, in any capacity, seem to have an intuitiveness for people like this and completely eject them from their reality.

Why do you think that is? They're unable to coop. Even most men, if you could red pill them ,if you could get them this do pickup, go get baee, they would step up but 99% of men wont and at best, they stick their toes in. There's no substance or follow through.

Attempting to red pill the average man will be combatted by some cuck wanting to crush your skull with h a bolder in this name of white Knight-dumb.

I do strongly believe that a-lot of what is jammed down our throat in mainstream society, i.e. the big on "FEMINISM" is pitched to us by predatory people. Predatory people in general know when they are dealing with someone who is "woke" and won't stand for it. They simply move on. Part of becoming a High Value man is learning how to deal with hate and indifference from the predatory society as a whole that is just beneath what we would consider mainstream.

There's a YouTuber caller Icarus. He's a mgtow. On the topic of affirmative action andbgirl power in STEM, he made the point that, 80% of spending is women. The consumerism is mostly women. More women in higher paying jobs is about running the economy. Its pushed as a noble task but, men aren't pushed into female workspaces.

Peterson is brilliant. He goes to task with insanity like feminism. Argued not about what a ideology advocates but,what they oppose. This herein lies the answer.

I've noticed this in dating, too. Trashy toxic women will treat you like kryptonite once you've stood up to them once or even verbalized your woke beliefs and thoughts within ear shot of them. Anyone else notice this?

I clashed with a woman not long ago. She was being a ****.

It is pretty telling how when you go off alpha like a bomb, women can go from **** to kitten real fast.

I suggest fellas accordingly. Just error on the super side of caution. Firm but fair. Preferably with witnesses. She can't accuse you of violence or feared for her safety.

Lastly, avoid red pilling women ESP in the workplace.

Just see it for what it is.


You or I won't red pill women. Time red pills.

When SMV craters,she's red pilled.its just too late. Only cucks come then.

 

[CamCam]

Welcome! Every member has had a beginning and first post here. Because you're completely new, you already know there's a LOT of material to absorb. Don't try to read a lot at once and try to apply all the concepts at once. That's not how learning works. Learn 1 major concept at a time, keep practicing it, and then you'll eventually internalize it.

So true. I just realized that I've over-consumed information and now have opposing methods and theories cluttered in my mind

 

[maxwell0560505]

Alright boys, I have been going through the first few articles in the bible, and am carefully taking notes on everything, and plan to rewrite the notes and apply what I have learned. Knowledge is not power, application is power.

Here's why I joined: basic newbie story. The only way I will grow as a person is owning up to my mistakes, so I will type out what happened.

Met a girl in one of my labs, got her contact info just to study, as I did not think anything of her at the time besides being friends with her. We messaged a lot about homework problems and stuff, and after the lab was over for the quarter, I thought we would never talk to each other again, and that was fine with me, because I only saw her as a friend. Fast-forward to the beginning of the quarter, and she hits me up first out of the blue asking if I was going downtown to the bars the following night. I wasn't because I was going home for the weekend, and after that, she asked without me saying anything if I would be down to meet up with her at the bars the following week, to which I replied yes. I assumed this was an IOI and that she was dtf. The bar thing did not work out, and we both have a very demanding major. Our schedules did not match each others, yet we would continually text each other with things going nowhere, which was my rookie mistake and I completely own up to the fact that I ****ed up there. For some reason which seemed odd to me, she would leave every weekend to go somewhere out of town, not saying who she was going to see. It was simply I'm going to be out of town this weekend. Fast-forward a few weeks, we hang out and nothing happens, and I noticed she was sitting away from me on the couch when we were hanging out. Should have dipped. Keep texting and trying to make plans, but she keeps leaving every weekend, and doesn't mention who she is going to see. Fast-forward to finals week, and we study together every day, and I thought I got a lot of IOIs from her when we were studying. I'll explain this later. But she would always text me and I would always text her trying to meet up with her to study, and this was very serious studying because we both have a very demanding major. I got her during finals week to buy me food and bring it to me at work, so I thought that she would be dtf when finals were over. Towards the end of finals week, something happened in my family that made it seem like I would not be able to continue at school over the summer. She was also staying for the summer. Fast-forward to the end of that texting conversation, I told her that I had a crush on her for a while, etc. Then she brings up the "I was just trying to be nice, I actually have a bf. I'm sorry if I led you on or made you feel used, etc. I just replied that it was chill and it was funny that I read it so wrong and I don't care. Then I got the lets still be friends speech, she knows I probably feel really bad, etc. I just replied yeah sure, it's chill, I had no idea you had a bf. I was pretty bummed and got hammered that night. Stupidly texted her "I don't want you to feel bad, I accept responsibility for my feelings. But I don't think we should talk for a while." She seemed upset, and replied, "it's ok, I completely understand". And that was the last time we talked. She actually had a bf by the way

I'm a bodybuilder, about 5'8 and a ripped 190-195 lbs, so I just want to chase my passion for fitness and training, and I don't have time to be friends with her. Being friends with her would also make me feel like less of a man, as it is man's duty to conquer, and I could not conquer her.

Here's the recent development:

I solved things at home and was able to come back to school for the summer, where she is. There is a lab we are both taking over the summer, and we are taking it at the same time, but in separate classrooms. However, we have to go into the separate classrooms during the lab period, so I will be seeing her all the time. How do I approach this? I have the mentality that I am a very good looking dude and have a lot going for me, besides me understanding of game, so I really don't care to contact her again, and I won't. But I have to see her almost every day now, and don't know how to approach this. Part of me still wants her

 

[maxwell0560505]

So I admit that I have it going in the looks department, but this is when I realized looks don't mean jack **** if you don't know what to do. I went clubbing with my buddies this weekend, and my buddies said an extremely hot girl who they were trying to get at all night was pointing at me and wanting me to come dance with her. At this point, I was so drunk I didn't even know what was going on or that she was giving me the eyes, so I ****ed up. I really heard it from my buddies the next day, and I don't want to **** up in front of them like that again.

 

[maxwell0560505]

I was so arrogant about my looks that I thought that there's no way I could get friendzoned by this girl. I was shown up

 

[mellow_yellow]

Alright boys, I have been going through the first few articles in the bible, and am carefully taking notes on everything, and plan to rewrite the notes and apply what I have learned. Knowledge is not power, application is power.

Here's why I joined: basic newbie story. The only way I will grow as a person is owning up to my mistakes, so I will type out what happened.

Met a girl in one of my labs, got her contact info just to study, as I did not think anything of her at the time besides being friends with her. We messaged a lot about homework problems and stuff, and after the lab was over for the quarter, I thought we would never talk to each other again, and that was fine with me, because I only saw her as a friend. Fast-forward to the beginning of the quarter, and she hits me up first out of the blue asking if I was going downtown to the bars the following night. I wasn't because I was going home for the weekend, and after that, she asked without me saying anything if I would be down to meet up with her at the bars the following week, to which I replied yes. I assumed this was an IOI and that she was dtf. The bar thing did not work out, and we both have a very demanding major. Our schedules did not match each others, yet we would continually text each other with things going nowhere, which was my rookie mistake and I completely own up to the fact that I ****ed up there. For some reason which seemed odd to me, she would leave every weekend to go somewhere out of town, not saying who she was going to see. It was simply I'm going to be out of town this weekend. Fast-forward a few weeks, we hang out and nothing happens, and I noticed she was sitting away from me on the couch when we were hanging out. Should have dipped. Keep texting and trying to make plans, but she keeps leaving every weekend, and doesn't mention who she is going to see. Fast-forward to finals week, and we study together every day, and I thought I got a lot of IOIs from her when we were studying. I'll explain this later. But she would always text me and I would always text her trying to meet up with her to study, and this was very serious studying because we both have a very demanding major. I got her during finals week to buy me food and bring it to me at work, so I thought that she would be dtf when finals were over. Towards the end of finals week, something happened in my family that made it seem like I would not be able to continue at school over the summer. She was also staying for the summer. Fast-forward to the end of that texting conversation, I told her that I had a crush on her for a while, etc. Then she brings up the "I was just trying to be nice, I actually have a bf. I'm sorry if I led you on or made you feel used, etc. I just replied that it was chill and it was funny that I read it so wrong and I don't care. Then I got the lets still be friends speech, she knows I probably feel really bad, etc. I just replied yeah sure, it's chill, I had no idea you had a bf. I was pretty bummed and got hammered that night. Stupidly texted her "I don't want you to feel bad, I accept responsibility for my feelings. But I don't think we should talk for a while." She seemed upset, and replied, "it's ok, I completely understand". And that was the last time we talked. She actually had a bf by the way

I'm a bodybuilder, about 5'8 and a ripped 190-195 lbs, so I just want to chase my passion for fitness and training, and I don't have time to be friends with her. Being friends with her would also make me feel like less of a man, as it is man's duty to conquer, and I could not conquer her.

Here's the recent development:

I solved things at home and was able to come back to school for the summer, where she is. There is a lab we are both taking over the summer, and we are taking it at the same time, but in separate classrooms. However, we have to go into the separate classrooms during the lab period, so I will be seeing her all the time. How do I approach this? I have the mentality that I am a very good looking dude and have a lot going for me, besides me understanding of game, so I really don't care to contact her again, and I won't. But I have to see her almost every day now, and don't know how to approach this. Part of me still wants her

If you were curious if she was into you, you should've found out sooner by taking action (like touching her, kissing her, pushing her boundaries) rather than dragging it out. IOIs are nice, but from my experience they're mostly BS because the girl could just want your attention. In your case, that's what she wanted...attention. You were dragging it out way too long by just hanging out with her and doing nothing else.

Next, there is an unbroken rule in game. You NEVER, ever tell her how you feel. Ever. Men express how they feel through action, not words. If the girl doesn't respond well to your actions by pulling away from your touches, then you know she's really NOT that interested as you thought. What's done is done. You told her your feelings and she told you that she has a boyfriend and said "she was trying to be nice". Stupid. Trying to be nice? She liked your free attention, validating how hot she is, while she was getting steady c*ck over the weekend from her boyfriend, out of town. At least you flushed out what she really thought about you two despite you violating this rule. She was upset she couldn't get your attention anymore, however what you did was right. You cut her off because you knew it wasn't going to go anywhere.

Don't bother being friends with her. She admitted to leading you on. So she admits to using you for validation and you want to go back to it without getting sex or anything from her in exchange? Think about that. If you see her at lab, say a friendly hi and how's it going. Don't go any further beyond that. If she really wants you, she'll figure out a way to be near you or text you to hang out to work things out. What complicates all this is now you know she has a boyfriend. Let's say you do f*ck her...you really gonna take a girl who cheats on her bf for you seriously? She'll do the same to you. You need to meet other women in your life. She's the only one you're seeing so you're beginning to obsess over her. If you were working on 3 other girls that were hot, would be so bothered with her and how she felt? It's because you're not striving for more options, you're constantly thinking about her. She should be eager to be with you (your frame) versus you wanting to be with her (her frame). She had all the power until you cut her off and until she gives you what you want, don't give her any power.

Don't rely on looks only. That's great you have it and you're self-aware that you shouldn't rely on that alone. Every guy would want that, but banking on this trait alone means you're being lazy and staying the same place in life. Continue becoming better by becoming well-rounded as a man. Even if you have the best looks in the world, you AT LEAST need some game to close. You can't get away with looks only most of the time. There's always some work involved in getting the girl. You'll see on this forum how guys argue how it's all looks versus how it's all game all the time. The answer is that it's in the middle depending on what the person is deficient in. Everyone is different. For you, you're lacking action. Why did you take this long to find out if she was interested when you could've found out the first time you hung out with her by trying to f*ck her? Continue to hit the gym hard, work on your goals, become a great human being, and ultimately, who you want to be in your daydreams. When you work on these things, you naturally become more confident because you have a mission. This is what The Way of the Superior Man talks about and I'm beginning to see this from my own development.

In the club or wherever you're at man, you need to take action. Walk up to the girl and drag her out to dance or tell her you want to speak to her alone and run your game outside or whatever. Do anything. Do something. Just don't stand around thinking about if you should do it or how you should it or what you should do. You already have an advantage over most guys because that girl thought you were hot. Most guys don't have that luxury so don't waste what you possess. Capitalize on it. Who cares if you mess up on what you say. Better to mess up than not even have the chance to mess up. Messing up = constant improvement and how to do better with the next girl so it's not failure in the long run.