Mixed Signals

[upcoming_DJ]

Hey DJs,

so last weekend I spent it with the girl I've been dating for 4 months. I've been reading heartiste and the rational male for a couple of months now - and I've noticed how many things have worked with "game". However, I'm aware of the fact that I take game a little too far sometimes. But as heartiste say, always choose to be on the side of too bold, than too soft.

I also read rational male's "the medium is the message" and "your gut". For a while now I've been having a gut feelign that this girl, is either still feeling for her ex, or he is in communication with her again. Well, about 2 weekends ago, she did open up and say he started contacting her again. Red flags went up immediately but I did not show her this. I remained in my frame, confident, light and fun. I did mention to her that i find it interesting that after so long, she still has the lines of communication open to him. She said she didn't want to "appear weak" and be the one to unfriend anyone. She says she feels much stronger having it open, but not needing to act on it. Ok. cool. However, since then, I have been spying a little and I have the guy's number so i watch whatsapp - at times they were online at the same time and came off at the same time in a frightening riddim.

Well, my gut caused me even a physical reaction. I literally felt bad. So I picked her up with the intention of talking to her and kind of laying my cards on the table. That didn't go as planned. Instead, we binge drank, shot fireball, and we ended up going to a friend's house where I consumed a drug. Well, after that i was pretty hammered. And that's when i asked to see her phone. She immediately refused. and after a couple more attempts and her refusing me, I blew up. it was very intense. she started crying. then she surrendered her phone to me (unlocked) but at the time she was already crying and I was already over it, i didn't even take a look in it.

next morning we wake up, we are hugging, kissing. Then we slightly talked about what occured. I said to her "I don't feel like you have closed your past". And she looked me in the eye and asked if "i really think that?" i said, you have used some words and have said some things that gives me the impression. I particularly used the word "weak" , and she said yes I used the word weak but that she has no regard for her ex. (I never expect women to say the truth anyway). she said she would block him if I wanted to. I said you do what you feel is right, it's about you, not me". Then I asked if I hurt her, she shook her head yes, sank into my chest and cried. I didn't say anything.

We picked up and we went to a river crossing at a border and had a good time, things were light and fun and she seemed to be in a better mood,. I dropped her home, she turned to me and gave me a kiss (I alway end the kiss first) but didn't say a word.

I did not hear from her the entire week. Although I opened another business page (I have several, including one of the biggest local instagram travel accounts with over 12K fans) - she "followed" my new page so I knew she wasn't entirely out of the picture.

I read heartiste "the best way to revive a flagging relationship" and also some rational male articles, and it was clear that I must stay away - be prepared to walk away and show her.

So yesterday around mid-day, I posted a meme on instagram that said "Name one thing you wanna try in the bedroom"..and it continued "getting a full 8 hours of sleep" ... so my caption read "not my type of language but lol!" ... and she knew what i meant because I'm a sexual beast and she knows my language. She immediately sent it in my DM along with an emoji with a straight face. I didn't open her DM.

Later in the afternoon, she sent me a photo of a new machine she got - I pushed her to start her own little business and she is working on it. I didnt answer. About 2 hours later she sent "I got my little machine babe! a little celebration in my little heart tonight!" I didnt answer then about an hour later she sent "good night babe" with a kiss emoji. Obviously she took almost a week to get back to me, so there's no way I would have replied in a hurry.

I answered a while ago with something light, funny, ****y - said "and at first look I thought it was like an oxygen machine and you were being romantic. Thought you'd say something like "can't breathe without you babe. i was already falling" with a tongue out emoji.

she "reads" it about 35 minutes later, but was on whatsapp before this, and she just left me on read.

should I just turn away and walk and let her pursue me, or should I reach out again? I have read not to reward bad behavior. So i wasn't in the mood to "celebrate" with her.

I did work on some logos for her new business however, but I am keeping it until her behavior improves (if it does).

I know she was probably thinking about things this week of last weekend's occurence. or maybe she wasn't. maybe she's getting the attention elsewhere already and just wants to see how i'd react or wants my attention.

what would your advice be in this situation? thank you!

 

[Misterchaos]

Are you honestly having fun with this chick with all this "gaming" .....if not there's your answer. It appears you want to control the entire situation....continue being the awesome you and enjoying your life if she goes back to her ex oh well.

Having to post subliminal messages on IG and delay text purposely come on..that's their level sh**.

The only person you can truly control is YOU.

 

[MrJack]

Hey DJs,

so last weekend I spent it with the girl I've been dating for 4 months. I've been reading heartiste and the rational male for a couple of months now - and I've noticed how many things have worked with "game". However, I'm aware of the fact that I take game a little too far sometimes. But as heartiste say, always choose to be on the side of too bold, than too soft.

I also read rational male's "the medium is the message" and "your gut". For a while now I've been having a gut feelign that this girl, is either still feeling for her ex, or he is in communication with her again. Well, about 2 weekends ago, she did open up and say he started contacting her again. Red flags went up immediately but I did not show her this. I remained in my frame, confident, light and fun. I did mention to her that i find it interesting that after so long, she still has the lines of communication open to him. She said she didn't want to "appear weak" and be the one to unfriend anyone. She says she feels much stronger having it open, but not needing to act on it. Ok. cool. However, since then, I have been spying a little and I have the guy's number so i watch whatsapp - at times they were online at the same time and came off at the same time in a frightening riddim.

Well, my gut caused me even a physical reaction. I literally felt bad. So I picked her up with the intention of talking to her and kind of laying my cards on the table. That didn't go as planned. Instead, we binge drank, shot fireball, and we ended up going to a friend's house where I consumed a drug. Well, after that i was pretty hammered. And that's when i asked to see her phone. She immediately refused. and after a couple more attempts and her refusing me, I blew up. it was very intense. she started crying. then she surrendered her phone to me (unlocked) but at the time she was already crying and I was already over it, i didn't even take a look in it.

next morning we wake up, we are hugging, kissing. Then we slightly talked about what occured. I said to her "I don't feel like you have closed your past". And she looked me in the eye and asked if "i really think that?" i said, you have used some words and have said some things that gives me the impression. I particularly used the word "weak" , and she said yes I used the word weak but that she has no regard for her ex. (I never expect women to say the truth anyway). she said she would block him if I wanted to. I said you do what you feel is right, it's about you, not me". Then I asked if I hurt her, she shook her head yes, sank into my chest and cried. I didn't say anything.

We picked up and we went to a river crossing at a border and had a good time, things were light and fun and she seemed to be in a better mood,. I dropped her home, she turned to me and gave me a kiss (I alway end the kiss first) but didn't say a word.

I did not hear from her the entire week. Although I opened another business page (I have several, including one of the biggest local instagram travel accounts with over 12K fans) - she "followed" my new page so I knew she wasn't entirely out of the picture.

I read heartiste "the best way to revive a flagging relationship" and also some rational male articles, and it was clear that I must stay away - be prepared to walk away and show her.

So yesterday around mid-day, I posted a meme on instagram that said "Name one thing you wanna try in the bedroom"..and it continued "getting a full 8 hours of sleep" ... so my caption read "not my type of language but lol!" ... and she knew what i meant because I'm a sexual beast and she knows my language. She immediately sent it in my DM along with an emoji with a straight face. I didn't open her DM.

Later in the afternoon, she sent me a photo of a new machine she got - I pushed her to start her own little business and she is working on it. I didnt answer. About 2 hours later she sent "I got my little machine babe! a little celebration in my little heart tonight!" I didnt answer then about an hour later she sent "good night babe" with a kiss emoji. Obviously she took almost a week to get back to me, so there's no way I would have replied in a hurry.

I answered a while ago with something light, funny, ****y - said "and at first look I thought it was like an oxygen machine and you were being romantic. Thought you'd say something like "can't breathe without you babe. i was already falling" with a tongue out emoji.

she "reads" it about 35 minutes later, but was on whatsapp before this, and she just left me on read.

should I just turn away and walk and let her pursue me, or should I reach out again? I have read not to reward bad behavior. So i wasn't in the mood to "celebrate" with her.

I did work on some logos for her new business however, but I am keeping it until her behavior improves (if it does).

I know she was probably thinking about things this week of last weekend's occurence. or maybe she wasn't. maybe she's getting the attention elsewhere already and just wants to see how i'd react or wants my attention.

what would your advice be in this situation? thank you!

The part about her and her ex being on and off WhatsApp at the same time is definitely a worry combined with her not wanting to show you her phone. Never a reason to do that unless there is something to hide... which would be her conversations with orbiters and her ex.

Also remember that women slowly check themselves out of relationships WHILE still in the relationship. At the same time they also always make sure they have some c0ck to hop on when it’s officially deemed “over” with you.

I wouldn’t completely jump ship yet but definitely don’t reach out to her again if she left you on read, and while you’re doing that, go game other chicks (which you should be doing anyways to keep your skills and abundance mentality up to par).

Sex is the most valuable thing a woman can provide you.

Attention is the most valuable thing a man can provide a woman.

In this case? Don’t give it to her because from what you’ve told us, she is not deserving of it at this point in time.

Probably not the advice you want to hear, but it was also the same advice I got last year that I didn’t want to hear so I didn’t take it... then later regretted not taking it.

 

[Alvafe]

The part about her and her ex being on and off WhatsApp at the same time is definitely a worry combined with her not wanting to show you her phone. Never a reason to do that unless there is something to hide... which would be her conversations with orbiters and her ex.

Also remember that women slowly check themselves out of relationships WHILE still in the relationship. At the same time they also always make sure they have some c0ck to hop on when it’s officially deemed “over” with you.

I wouldn’t completely jump ship yet but definitely don’t reach out to her again if she left you on read, and while you’re doing that, go game other chicks (which you should be doing anyways to keep your skills and abundance mentality up to par).

Sex is the most valuable thing a woman can provide you.

Attention is the most valuable thing a man can provide a woman.

In this case? Don’t give it to her because from what you’ve told us, she is not deserving of it at this point in time.

Probably not the advice you want to hear, but it was also the same advice I got last year that I didn’t want to hear so I didn’t take it... then later regretted not taking it.

learning the hard way is at least learning.


I found this so much a soap opera, I would just say this don't ever take things make you lose control, drugs, drinking till you fall that kind of thing, you never will know when you will need to be with a clear head to do something, life is such its love to kick you when you show weakness and its down, so never give it a chance for that. start to window shop other woman I think this one you will need to return it

 

[Glassguy]

Another thread about the same chick? That kinda says it all man.

 

[Dingo]

This is going to end well....

 

[resilient]

OP, your actions display passive aggressiveness. That's not leading as a man.

If she's clearly crossing the line by being overly friendly with the ex, then that's your signal to plan your exit strategy.

Don't waste time playing mind games with social media posting or reading too hard between the lines. Live your life your authentically. You'll be happier this way.

Always be prepared to walk away.

Better to be solo and alone than stay in an unhappy relationship that isn't met equally from both partners with respect, love, and care.

 

[flowtheory]

I would definitely be pursuing other women. Sounds like way too many games with two people who are not super stable and shouldn’t be pursuing something outside of themselves.

Her talking with her ex? And not being transparent? Bad.
You asking to see her phone and stalking her whatsapp times and giving messages via IG through an account? Bad

If a girl Is entertaining other men or exes in some kind of sexual/romantic fashion, that’s disrespect for your time, so you walk away until they know you’ve communicated you’re not going to be some temporary dude.

She doesn’t respect you and you’re certainly not her #1. She sounds like she loves attention and it’s all games.
However, you sound like you need to hold frame and get a hold of your emotions a bit better too.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Drop the plate and get a better one.

 

[ohrein]

So much of your actions come from weakness. Your attitude should be if she wants to be with her ex, let her at the cost of losing you. If that's a price she's willing to pay then you know all you need to know.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

thanks all!

definitely, I am prepared to walk away. I show her this. both in my actions and words.

I need to handle my emotions and maintain frame when I'm drinking. That's when things get out of hand for me. Apart from this, I calculate very well and I can see it in her behavior.

She sent me some quotes via instagram this afternoon like "i think it's the best thing when someone's presence automatically puts you in a better mood" and 2 others.

I am not holding frame as solid as I think I am.

I wont be seeing her this weekend, I will be busy with work next weekend and the following weekend after that I have a business trip, so we will be apart for 3 weeks. I am actually focusing back 100% on my mission and purpose and of course, I am feeling much better and more clear in myself again. I believe she senses this, and like heartiste and rollo both say - when you show with actions, they take note.

what helps me a lot is my social value / high status in my country and among my peers (who are , much older than me and much more high value). she keeps jealous because when she's with me other girls are always flirting or looking at me - and she ALWAYS notices it and usually makes comments too. when they call me and their photos appear on my phone she usually looks away or rolls her eyes.

since I re-opened my instagram account lately, I am sure she is quite aware that I am putting myself back on the market and hence maybe why she is reaching out and trying to figure where she is at with me. I will run aloof game and if it fades then hasta la vista ! i've got some 7's and 8's waiting patiently.

cheers all and thanks a bunch !!