26 and never been in a relstionship

[redskinsfan92]

I turn 26 next week. That really has me thinking. I've bever had a girlfriend. Heck, I have never even had sex. Ultimately, I think the cause of this is my lack of approaching women. I freeze up and never do it. I've only gotten dates online. 4 dates to be exact. Got ghosted by 2 women and the 3rd ghosted me after the 2nd date. She cancelled the 3rd date because she was tired. Messaged me one more day. Then ghosted me. I hung out with a friend of my bestfriend's girlfriend all night two weekends back to back. Most we ever did was some heavy kissing. Then she ghosted me.

So, I've only been on dates with 4 women. Two of those this year back in January.

Been in the friendzome once for about 6 months. Became friends with a girl who had a long distance boyfriend. I knew it wouldn't work out. Being the beta I was I thought I could become friends her, then swoop in. She ghosted me after 6 months.

This is why I am here. I see these as symptoms of a larger problem that i am looking at. I am here to improve myself and not let this destroy me. I have accepted that not all women are the problem, but rather something with me. For one, I need to approach and make moves. Your thoughts?

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

This is why I am here. I see these as symptoms of a larger problem that i am looking at. I am here to improve myself and not let this destroy me. I have accepted that not all women are the problem, but rather something with me. For one, I need to approach and make moves. Your thoughts?

Well, this acknowledgement that you need to improve separates you from the "Incel" community, who instead sit around hating on women and ignoring their faults - so good on you.

I think society is over sexualised and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 26. You haven't really begun dating yet, after all.

I'd start securing more dates, start talking to girls more in a casual friendly setting (parties are great) and just keep practicing. Hit the gym and get as fit and aesthetic as you can, too, it makes a huge difference.

I had my first relationship at 25 and it taught me a lot. First of all, that relationships are largely overrated. All kinds of sh*t can and will go wrong, and you may well be powerless to correct it and end up single again. So don't bust your balls about being single/not having a gf/whatever, because a lot of it is luck anyway...and you may find the grass in that pasture isn't as green as you thought it would be.

Basically: you do you. Keep practicing your social skills with girls and if stuff happens, great. If it doesn't...just improve yourself and the girls will arrive on their own.

 

[Misterchaos]

Did you ever mention that you're a Redskins Fan....that might be the problem....makes em dry right on up. You should change teams pick like the Falcons or something.

But seriously lol welcome lots of great info here you're on the right track and about to hit your prime years!

 

[redskinsfan92]

Well, the Redskins game has been weaker than mine lately. Lol

 

[MrJack]

I turn 26 next week. That really has me thinking. I've bever had a girlfriend. Heck, I have never even had sex. Ultimately, I think the cause of this is my lack of approaching women. I freeze up and never do it. I've only gotten dates online. 4 dates to be exact. Got ghosted by 2 women and the 3rd ghosted me after the 2nd date. She cancelled the 3rd date because she was tired. Messaged me one more day. Then ghosted me. I hung out with a friend of my bestfriend's girlfriend all night two weekends back to back. Most we ever did was some heavy kissing. Then she ghosted me.

So, I've only been on dates with 4 women. Two of those this year back in January.

Been in the friendzome once for about 6 months. Became friends with a girl who had a long distance boyfriend. I knew it wouldn't work out. Being the beta I was I thought I could become friends her, then swoop in. She ghosted me after 6 months.

This is why I am here. I see these as symptoms of a larger problem that i am looking at. I am here to improve myself and not let this destroy me. I have accepted that not all women are the problem, but rather something with me. For one, I need to approach and make moves. Your thoughts?

Agreed that you need to start approaching and make moves more often. It’s the only way you’re going to get over your fear... which I have a strange feeling your fear is being rejected.

I know because I’ve been there. Still not completely over it but have gotten so much better. 80% I’d say.

Let me ask you this...

We’re you messaging these women back and forth about random BS not having to do with logistics of a date? If so just don’t do that anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a believer in it being necessary to SOMETIMES build a little extra attraction or comfort via text, but especially if you haven’t fvcked the girl yet I would for sure keep it down to a few messages back and forth of light/funny or light/sexual banter (depending how sexual she already sees you. Easy to overdo this and ruin it if you haven’t assessed things accurately) followed by date logistics and then that’s it... if she keeps texting you right after the date has been made then just text her back saying something along the lines of - you are busy with something and that you have to go but we’ll talk later blah blah.

Doesnt matter if you’re busy or not, make something up. But in general, if you aren’t a good texter, hell even if you are... it’s a no-no IMO because you can never build attraction and comfort in an efficient enough way by texting vs what you can do in person. Not saying it can’t be done... but it’s a lot harder.

Let them wonder about you then hit them with all you got when you meet up!

Btw I am completely guessing what your problem might be and I could be totally wrong but the advice I just gave you about texting gives you a non-needy vibe which used to hinder me back in the day.

Hope this helps.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Agreed that you need to start approaching and make moves more often. It’s the only way you’re going to get over your fear... which I have a strange feeling your fear is being rejected.

I know because I’ve been there. Still not completely over it but have gotten so much better. 80% I’d say.

Let me ask you this...

We’re you messaging these women back and forth about random BS not having to do with logistics of a date? If so just don’t do that anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a believer in it being necessary to SOMETIMES build a little extra attraction or comfort via text, but especially if you haven’t fvcked the girl yet I would for sure keep it down to a few messages back and forth of light/funny or light/sexual banter (depending how sexual she already sees you. Easy to overdo this and ruin it if you haven’t assessed things accurately) followed by date logistics and then that’s it... if she keeps texting you right after the date has been made then just text her back saying something along the lines of - you are busy with something and that you have to go but we’ll talk later blah blah.

Doesnt matter if you’re busy or not, make something up. But in general, if you aren’t a good texter, hell even if you are... it’s a no-no IMO because you can never build attraction and comfort in an efficient enough way by texting vs what you can do in person. Not saying it can’t be done... but it’s a lot harder.

Let them wonder about you then hit them with all you got when you meet up!

Btw I am completely guessing what your problem might be and I could be totally wrong but the advice I just gave you about texting gives you a non-needy vibe which used to hinder me back in the day.

Hope this helps.

I think you are right about rejection. I did make that mistake with texting until the last girl with which I had a couple dates. With her once a date was set I didn't text until I was letting her know I was on my way.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Gym is definitely a priority for me right now. Just started back up a month ago with my oldest brother. He is very experienced with weightlifting. Preaches squats, deadlifts, pullups, and dips.

Well, this acknowledgement that you need to improve separates you from the "Incel" community, who instead sit around hating on women and ignoring their faults - so good on you.

I think society is over sexualised and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 26. You haven't really begun dating yet, after all.

I'd start securing more dates, start talking to girls more in a casual friendly setting (parties are great) and just keep practicing. Hit the gym and get as fit and aesthetic as you can, too, it makes a huge difference.

I had my first relationship at 25 and it taught me a lot. First of all, that relationships are largely overrated. All kinds of sh*t can and will go wrong, and you may well be powerless to correct it and end up single again. So don't bust your balls about being single/not having a gf/whatever, because a lot of it is luck anyway...and you may find the grass in that pasture isn't as green as you thought it would be.

Basically: you do you. Keep practicing your social skills with girls and if stuff happens, great. If it doesn't...just improve yourself and the girls will arrive on their own.

 

[logicallefty]

Welcome to the forum. to you for being honest with us about your situation. To me I see that as a trait of good character on your part, to be able to be honest about that.

You will get a wealth of information here from many outstanding men. We have a few women too who only get on our nerves a little bit so we let them stick around. Almost all of the advice given here will be genuine from each guy's perspective. Be prepared to take it all in with objectivity, see what works for you, and what doesn't. Some of it will be perfect for your situation. Other not so perfect for you, but spot on for someone else. Some of it will be genuine tough love. And maybe once in a great, great while someone will be a down right d|ckhead. For them, you can always use the "ignore" button and then they are gone to you like a fart in the wind.

Have fun.

 

[MrJack]

I think you are right about rejection. I did make that mistake with texting until the last girl with which I had a couple dates. With her once a date was set I didn't text until I was letting her know I was on my way.

For sure, just keep improving all aspects of your life man. Level your SMV the fvck up as much as you can and the women will come easier.

Another thought: Make sure you are being sexual with every girl you take on a date. Incorporate kino and crack a sexual joke that involves you two and gauge her interest from there. This way judging by her reaction to it you can immediately tell if things are on the up and up or if she’s waiting to shoot you down.

 

[ohrein]

I'd start by reading the bible (http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/) and The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi (https://therationalmale.com/ , the book is worth buying as a standalone organised set of ideas but the blog has all the info too). To put things simply, women want a man and it sounds like you're lacking some aspects of that, confidence being one of the most important parts. The good news is many of us have been where you are and have come out the other end with the results we desired. The bad news is some of these changes take a lot of time, self reflection and failure. But since you seem to be honestly critical of yourself you shouldn't have any trouble. Hitting the gym and developing some confidence however you can will likely be all you need to break over the first hurdle. Take women off the pedestal and start viewing them as normal people with flaws and interacting with them shouldn't be as anxiety inducing. But exposure will help you with that too. Good luck and stick around!

 

[sosousage]

girls will come to you if you have things average man doesnt have

 

[redskinsfan92]

Yeah, I just bought Rational Male earlier today in audio format and have started listening. Just finished listening to audio of the Book of Pook.

 

[sosousage]

Yeah, I just bought Rational Male earlier today in audio format and have started listening. Just finished listening to audio of the Book of Pook.

im not a pro with women to be honest. in fact im disaster with them.

 

[Mike32ct]

As a guy that’s been there (virgin until 28), here is my advice:

1. Looks-max.

Working out is good.

But definitely give the hairstyle some thought. It’s critical.

Maybe grow out that hair and spike the front up.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Your thoughts?

Get off phaghitree. Go get baes!

Take **** out. Smash. Low sex drive /low libido means #nextset!

First and foremost, be on your life path. Be about your ambition. Go get deezed. Yes, get baes. Get educated as in, seek self knowledge. Do as sacrates says, 'know thy self.'

Explore consciousness.

See the world as it is. Not how you wish it were to be.

See female nature as it is. Female hypergamy knows no bounds.

Women be skiing down cawk mountain. Running through playboys. It's when Chad stops calling, her strategy begins to change.

The good news?

You're single. Free as a bird. More importantly, new girls are turning 18 everyday.

Come @me bro!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

girls will come to you if you have things average man doesnt have

That's called hypergamy.

Those women are called practice, booty calls, and one night stands.

The game, set, and match is TOP FORM SMV. IE 18-23 OR GTFO!