I just got back with a few friends at a lounge. He pulled me aside and asked to discuss something with me. I said sure, what's up. Well, he thought he was happily married for 3 years, but not so much. Sex stopped 2 years ago after the wife couldn't get pregnant. They sleep in separate bedrooms, he takes care of the home and cooks dinner. She goes out with her friends, he's never invited; even when there are spouses there. She never visits his family, but he visits hers. She contributes very little to the expenses, but he pays for nearly everything he says. Just last week she told him there's a wedding this weekend, and he stated he'll be happy to go. She said, nah, don't bother, I RSVP'd for you a few months back that you would not be attending. He also claims she's hit him a few times, and he just walks away. I said, this doesn't sound very promising. Why are you staying? He states my belief in God is what is telling me this is just a phase and we can work through it. I said, I see. Did you try to talk to her about these issues? He said yes, but she will not talk to him about it. Have you tried to do a family intervention with both of you? Yes, but the parents do not want to get involved. Hmm... I said. How about marriage counseling? He said, yes, she's going, just without me. Huh I said? Yea, she doesn't want me there he stated.
I said brother, I do not know what you married, but this is not a wife. I think you should go see a lawyer and weigh your options. The look on his face was of sheer panic. I understand as he own a house, a vacation house, a business, a few cars, retirement accounts, etc. Since he's in NJ, I do not know those laws, but he's going to get emotionally and financially raped. Chances are, she's just waiting for the time to jet. I wouldn't be surprised if she's cheating on him too. I never heard of a spouse RSVPing for the other one as a no and not even telling them.
This is going to be a battle. This should be a warning to all. DO NOT SIGN LEGAL CONTRACTS WITH A PERSON AND THE STATE.
We should all take a moment and pray for the young man. He's going to be in a world of pain very very soon. Gentlemen, think with your brain and not your penis.