I screwed everything up and dont know what to do...

[marmel75]

Uprooting his entire family life...all for the sake of getting away from this one lowly female...who,is 100% TOTALLY INNOCENT,and did NOTHING WRONG here. In fact,all she's guilty of is believeing the words of a liar. But that's besides the point......

You DO realize....that.....this guy's problems are INTERNAL. Doesn't matter where he goes....his issues and LACK OF CHARACTER will go with him.....because it's who HE IS.

Did you happen to notice how EXCITED he got when he thought he and his mistress were bout to "reconcile" and have "hot makeup sex".......then when he found out that was over,how bummed he came across when he said,"Time to focus on family"?

Which one did he seem most joyful about......starting to be a good husband and family man.....or another "roll in the hay" with the mistress?

It is what it is. I'm curious though......

Assuming he did decide to move and take his family to the other side of the country,when he presents this sudden,OUT OF THE BLUE....out of NOWHERE suggestion to his wife and kids about uprooting her from her job,and kids from their school....to some new place they don't know or have ever been before,when he tells them this and the wife asks WHY,what would you suggests he say?

I think everyone has demons of some sort they battle..whether its drugs, alcohol, gambling, women, dangerous thrill seeking adrenaline rushes, etc I think everyone has something they do they arent proud of.

OP, I can see where you are coming from and its a major reason that if I stray my interactions are limited to no more than 10 bangs with any one women. Its hard to do but it sure as hell beats going through what you are going through.

 

[sosousage]

Ok guys, long time lurker first time poster. I'll try to keep this short but i want to get to the heart of the matter. I know a lot if people will bash me for what I am about to write based on what I've seen on these forums but i would at least hope I can get some constructive feedback.

Here is the deal. I am married with kids, but have been dating and have completely fell in love with another women over the past 15 months. She feels the same about me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together and has brought up being married and how she dreams about when she will be able to wake up next to me and we can spend more tiem together, etc...

I have never felt as loved, cared for, admired, respected and wanted as much as I have with her. She is truly the love of my life.

The problem is she doesn't know I'm married and hasn't been to my house or met anyone in my family and that is causing great stress to the point she is considering ending it even though she says she loves me still and will always love me. She says she feels like I am embarrassed of her and that I dont want anyone in my family to meet her. My Mom has been very sick and I'm helping to take care of her so I have been using this as a reason but I think this is wearing thin.

She wants to be a part of everything in my life. I've met all her friends and family and they all love me. She has two grown daughters and they love me as well.

I know this can never work because she will eventually find out the truth even if I leave my wife which I dont want to do. I still love her in some ways just not as much as I love this other women. I love my kids and can't abandon them.

I feel trapped and like no matter what I do I am going to lose. I guess I brought this on myself. At first I was just bored and wanting fun times with new women but this turned into so much more than that. We have been on weekend trips together several times and they have been awesome and amazing and have seen each other 2-3 times a week for the past year straight.

Selfishly I dont want to let go of her because I truly love her but I can't see another option. It really is killing me inside that I am the cause of this pain for her. We have had several talks about this over the past 6 months( no fights ever) and she has decided to stay with me anyway but i think this time there might be a different outcome even though I can see she doesn't really want it to happen and has told me that no matter what she decides she wants me to come back to her when this family/Mom situation is solved because she will be waiting for me. I think she has already made up her mind but doesnt want to come straight out and say it...I am giving her some space and distance to figure out what she wants to do. We talked about it and it was a hard talk to have with her.

What can I do about this? I want to be with her but I can't leave and can't afford to leave my wife and kids and dont really want to.

TLDR:
-I'm married with kids

-met the love of my life and have been dating her the past 15 months who is not my wife

-doesnt know I'm married, have been using the fact I am caring for my sick Mother as a reason she hasnt been over/met anyone in my family

-she wants to move forward with our future together and feels stuck going nowhere

-she loves me and has said no matter what she will be waiting for me even if she cant be with me right now

-has said she doesn't know what to do but I believe she has decided that she has to get out for now even though she still loves me and wants to be with me, but wants everything in my life not just me

i jsut wanna add that a lot of my relationship felt really interesting,exciting and amazing in early stage BUT I already knew we will get bored/annoyed by each other its just a matter of time. and guess what, it happened. nothing lasts

 

[CMNILS87]

Oh poor you. This is all about your feelings eh? All I can say is you’re ****ed, you’re worried about your feelings when kids are involved now? When girl 2 finds out you’re married she’s gonna **** your whole life up. She’s gotta be wondering why she hasn’t been to your place in 15 months..


This only ends in disaster and not how you want it to

 

[Spaz]

I think everyone has demons of some sort they battle..whether its drugs, alcohol, gambling, women, dangerous thrill seeking adrenaline rushes, etc I think everyone has something they do they arent proud of.

OP, I can see where you are coming from and its a major reason that if I stray my interactions are limited to no more than 10 bangs with any one women. Its hard to do but it sure as hell beats going through what you are going through.

Everyone has demons, that's true but you'd also must have a self imposed boundary that you'll never cross no matter what.

I'd have no problems beating up another man, cheating, lie, fvck or something that others might label me as a sadistic motherfvcker.

But I draw a line to never bust someone weaker, to never do drugs, to never seduce a married woman etc.

Point is, OP doesn't have much of a backbone to begin with, he's flaky and moves with the flow of water like a jellyfish.

He needs to build his frame and then strengthen it over time.

 

[MrWood]

Point is, OP doesn't have much of a backbone to begin with, he's flaky and moves with the flow of water like a jellyfish.

this

my relationship felt really interesting,exciting and amazing in early stage BUT I already knew we will get bored/annoyed by each other its just a matter of time.

i feel now... maybe later I wont (female trait)

OP Sir, you have displayed the traits and basic nature of fvcked up women we discuss on this very forum.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, DO ONE THING OR THE OTHER AND STOP ACTING LIKE A B1TCH

 

[Murk]

I struggled to keep a girl out of my house for 6 months how on earth have you done this for 15 months without this girl saying enough is enough if you love me i'm coming over?

I need to learn from your mastery of deception.

I say you drag this out for as long as you can, maybe even forever?

 

[Visionist]

Assuming he did decide to move and take his family to the other side of the country,when he presents this sudden,OUT OF THE BLUE....out of NOWHERE suggestion to his wife and kids about uprooting her from her job,and kids from their school....to some new place they don't know or have ever been before,when he tells them this and the wife asks WHY,what would you suggests he say?

"My mother needs a milder climate... I'm worried about her... she might not have long... I got a phone call from her doctor yesterday... she needs a milder climate... I'm taking her away from this place"

"Our lives have become so stale... look at us... this isn't us... remember the old days... we need a fresh start... all of us... together"

"Great news! I just got an offer from XYZ! They want to discuss it with me, next week! We'd have to move but imagine how improved our lives would be! It's in ABC! You always wanted to visit there!"

 

[Magotrox]

Deal with your choice, embrace the pain, and live with the consequences. Trust me, I know of what I speak. Good luck.

That's right! All that happens in life is good. When you win, you win. But when you lose, you also win... a LESSON. Be used to learn from the past and the losses. Most sucessful guys were losers somewhere in the past. But, istead of drinking and crying, they learned with the mistakes and grown. Grow with your mistakes. Grow with the pain. In the end, when you understand this device of life, you'll be grateful to all the bad things that happened to you. Hang on, and go on!

 

[Desdinova]

The problem is she doesn't know I'm married

Rule #1 about having a mistress: She needs to know you're married.

There was absolutely no way in hell this was going to work for you. Women generally want to take relationships to the next level... unless they know it isn't possible. You're better off choosing a woman who has a significant other and isn't happy with him; if you choose to get another mistress at all.

For those who have or desire to have a mistress, I always refer them to the Cheat Manual. It's by far the best thing I've ever read with regards to having a mistress, and it was a huge help when I decided to find one for myself when I was married. You can read it here, and it might help you with your breakup.