Just asked coworker to lunch.

Aspire

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I know many of you don’t think it’s a good idea to date coworkers but you don’t count in this one.

I work in a warehouse house and am well liked by everyone. Most people know my name even though I don’t know everyone’s name.

This girl who has been working here for about a year. The first thing I noticed is she has the best bvtt in the world but gradually I came to realize she is just all around adore. She is kind of shy. Last week I was moved to her department so I have been able to converse with her more. It was eating me that I needed to ask her out because rejection is better than regret.

Once I was able to get her alone I asked if I could take her to lunch one of these weekends. I couldnt think of anything better ideas. I brace myself for the rejection I experienced many times but she said yes. It won’t be this weekend because I already volunteered to work overtime and she has her kids to take care of. I have a place in mind but not a day.

I will keep you updated but I welcome advice.
 

marmel75

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This would likely have worked better if you just asked her out of the blue while you were both working
 

Banelord

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Good for you man....
Remember do a lot of flirting..make the spark that will get them to come back.
 

marmel75

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We WERE working when I asked.
I mean like if it was lunch time and you were like "Hey! I'm heading to XYZ for lunch, you should come along."
 

Aspire

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I mean like if it was lunch time and you were like "Hey! I'm heading to XYZ for lunch, you should come along."
Well that would not have been practical in the situation. There’s no place close enough to work really. She goes off the ground s to smoke on her breaks and I eat in.
 

ohrein

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I know many of you don’t think it’s a good idea to date coworkers but you don’t count in this one.
Haha. I had two plates at one job once. When it all came out, the guys thought I was a God. I was a bit of a sleeper player, I don't look like much and I'm not arrogant nor puff around. Actually, I have had two jobs where I've had two plates. Neither ended horribly but the key was they weren't jobs I cared about and they were in very unprofessional fields (bar tending, retail etc). If it's a more corporate job with HR departments and you rely on the income, playing with fire for sure. I would not date a co worker if you're at a job you want to keep. Too much sh1t can go wrong and the man is going to be defacto sexual predator.
 

Aspire

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I know many of you don’t think it’s a good idea to date coworkers but you don’t count in this one.

I work in a warehouse house and am well liked by everyone. Most people know my name even though I don’t know everyone’s name.

This girl who has been working here for about a year. The first thing I noticed is she has the best bvtt in the world but gradually I came to realize she is just all around adore. She is kind of shy. Last week I was moved to her department so I have been able to converse with her more. It was eating me that I needed to ask her out because rejection is better than regret.

Once I was able to get her alone I asked if I could take her to lunch one of these weekends. I couldnt think of anything better ideas. I brace myself for the rejection I experienced many times but she said yes. It won’t be this weekend because I already volunteered to work overtime and she has her kids to take care of. I have a place in mind but not a day.

I will keep you updated but I welcome advice.
Ok, I am just going to throw out everything that has been going through my mind and then hear your thoughts.

I am certainly and interesting, intelligent and ambitious person. My hope is she will see that on our date. One of you said to be flirtatious. I am not sure how to do that naturally without it coming across as forced. I mean I can be funny when there is something I find funny. My hope is I can be myself and she will like me for that.

Also, I am thinking of Pook's tip that the purpose of a date is not to convince her to like you but to see if she is the kind of person I want. That thought came up in light of being afraid I am going to blow it. Of course, since she said yes that means she apparently has some initial interest.

And I understand and have to keep reminding myself that I should not be analyzing her. But I wonder why she is single as hot as she is and I speculate it is because she has kids and does not do much away from her family except work. And the other guys at work either have GFs or don't want to date a co-worker.
 

D.Savage

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Good job on taking the risk of asking her out in the first place, BUT, your heading down a potentially difficult situation with future women, why? Because your mindframe. You said "i braced myself for rejection" which means you was already expecting to get rejected, stop that now!

Anytime your interested in a girl assume she will be interested in you too, i mean why wouldnt she be interested in you right?
That kind of mindframe can lead you to a self defeating attitude with future prospects. It worked out this time but might not another time.

As for advice, when your hanging out with her you need to project a certain type of vibe, doesnt matter what you do or say because if the vibe is not right then theres no attraction.

1.Do not try to impress her
2.Do not try extra hard to get her to like you.
(Assume she going to like you)
3.Do not try to act overly nice, if your naturally a nice person thats ok but do not try to act really nice because you want her to like you.
4.(Most Important) please do not kiss ass or try to suck up to her for a desperate attempt to get her to fall for you.

Follow those 4 things and your good.
Be cool and make her laugh, my motto is, treat her as if shes already your girl, like you guys been dating for a few months. Flirt, be sexually in a cool way dont overdo it.

Good job again
 

MrAddiction

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to date coworkers
Red flag no 1

she has her kids to take care
Red flag no 2

She goes off the ground s to smoke on her breaks and I eat in.
Red flag 3: she smokes, you Do not.

Isn't that enough to eject from the begining?
That smells scarcity. As much als I appreciate the mindset: rejection is better than regret.
This one might end in bigger regret than not having asked.

But: good luck
 

D.Savage

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Red flag no 1


Red flag no 2


Red flag 3: she smokes, you Do not.

Isn't that enough to eject from the begining?
That smells scarcity. As much als I appreciate the mindset: rejection is better than regret.
This one might end in bigger regret than not having asked.

But: good luck
Stop being petty lol, who cares about all that stuff, its only going to be a issue if he makes it one,
 

flowtheory

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I caught a couple thins which I would be weary of, however they’ve been stated by the two posters preceding mine.

1. Your attitude of “I braced myself for rejection” if you’re in this mindframe, part of her will be able to read you’re not totally confident. And you won’t be able to make as big or risky of plays, because you’re placing women on a pedestal.
This ideal confidence of not having that, will be born out of your own coming to fruition of things in life you wish to possess. Work on those first other’s your balls will always be in the woman’s hands.

2. She has kids.
How old are you?

3. She smokes.

4. She’s a coworker. Never ideal. Never sh!t where you eat; way too many complications can arise.
And at work is one place I don’t want to be thinking about plates or women; much less running in to one on the regular who you’re trying to remain mysterious towards; over-saturated right from the onset. You probably like her because she’s the only woman with a nice butt around. Sounds like scarcity mindset to me.
 

Aspire

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I caught a couple thins which I would be weary of, however they’ve been stated by the two posters preceding mine.

1. Your attitude of “I braced myself for rejection” if you’re in this mindframe, part of her will be able to read you’re not totally confident. And you won’t be able to make as big or risky of plays, because you’re placing women on a pedestal.
This ideal confidence of not having that, will be born out of your own coming to fruition of things in life you wish to possess. Work on those first other’s your balls will always be in the woman’s hands.

2. She has kids.
How old are you?

3. She smokes.

4. She’s a coworker. Never ideal. Never sh!t where you eat; way too many complications can arise.
And at work is one place I don’t want to be thinking about plates or women; much less running in to one on the regular who you’re trying to remain mysterious towards; over-saturated right from the onset. You probably like her because she’s the only woman with a nice butt around. Sounds like scarcity mindset to me.
I am 38.
 

Aspire

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Be cool and make her laugh, my motto is, treat her as if shes already your girl, like you guys been dating for a few months. Flirt, be sexually in a cool way dont overdo it.

Good job again
I have been thinking that's a good idea. When I am close to her I just have the urge to kiss her. But I will just take it slow and let nature take over.
.
 

D.Savage

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I have been thinking that's a good idea. When I am close to her I just have the urge to kiss her. But I will just take it slow and let nature take over.
.
Exactly, trust yourself and your instincts, remember, YOU ARE THE ****! Your the Man! She already likes you, how do you know this? Because girls usually do, keep that mindset and everything will come naturally, dont doubt yourself.
 

Aspire

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Up date, I asked her if she wanted to do lunch this weekend. She said she is working overtime this weekend. I will believe that for now. It’s will be a busy time for me all week and weekend anyhow. I told her next weekend I will be on vacation (with I will) so maybe another time. Note that I am not talking to her at every opportunity. I am following the tip of being about my business and being elusive.

Her beauty continues to grow on me. And in regard to her having kids, I see that as a plus. Not that I am trying to rush into having a family but I am 38 and step kids I think would be a good middle ground. FYI, her kids are 12 and 9.
 

Aspire

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Update!

I asked her what she was doing this weekend and she said she requested overtime work so she can travel to her family reunion that is coming up. It’s possible she is blowing me off but she did initially say yes. So I am giving her the benefit of the doubt.
 

Thatfeel21

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Update!

I asked her what she was doing this weekend and she said she requested overtime work so she can travel to her family reunion that is coming up. It’s possible she is blowing me off but she did initially say yes. So I am giving her the benefit of the doubt.
So you asked her out 7 weeks ago, and still nothing? Damn homie...
 
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