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Communication level after sex

Barrister

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Guys,

Met a lady for a first date at a bar/restaurant this past Saturday. Immediately escalated and had great chemistry. Went out to her car and made out and were getting ready to bang when an officer came by and flashed us with a light and told us we had to leave. We didn't get to finish up that night but when I got home she had sent a text that she wanted me to see me the next day for "unfinished business." She came over Sunday evening and we banged. We then texted off and on until yesterday (Tuesday) where we met again and played miniature golf, got a bite to eat, then went back to her place and had sex again and I spent the night.

In the morning, she asked about a trip I am taking out of the state this coming weekend to go see a family relative and when she could see me again. She also asked if there were going to be other women around this weekend. I'm not ready to fully commit to her after not even knowing her a week, but I do dig this woman as I am highly attracted to her. My question is what have you guys found to be an appropriate level of communication at the point where you have gone out multiple times and smashed it more than once?

I don't want to communicate too much myself and come off needy - but I do know some women will expect more than just an occasional text at this point to know that I am not just stringing her along. Again, I am not ready to say I want to be fully committed to just her, but I do like her and think I may like that in the future. I want to maintain the "alpha" frame and not screw up. Advice?
 

AttackFormation

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My advice... make it fun with her, don't do the common mistake of talking with women about this kind of stuff like it's a court room hearing. When she is comfortable with you and asks if there are going to be other women around on your weekend trip, tell her something like "well, what would you say... do I have reasons to meet other girls? ;)". She'll say something, and you say something like "Oh, so you think you've given a good performance so far?" and continue teasing her with that kind of stuff, keep it totally ambiguous at all times by using a relaxed voice so you don't imply that you are or aren't exclusive - let her do the imagination she wants to do.
 

The Duke

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lol, so you want to maintain "alpha frame". o_O

Then you do what is good for you on your terms. If they like it great, if not then find another one that likes your style. Be true to yourself! Don't worry about what she feels is appropriate.

I wouldn't cater to some ho that put out on the first date and is already asking if women will be hanging around you while on your trip.

She's a crazy biatch! Just wait and see!
 

Barrister

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My advice... make it fun with her, don't do the common mistake of talking with women about this kind of stuff like it's a court room hearing. When she is comfortable with you and asks if there are going to be other women around on your weekend trip, tell her something like "well, what would you say... do I have reasons to meet other girls? ;)". She'll say something, and you say something like "Oh, so you think you've given a good performance so far?" and continue teasing her with that kind of stuff, keep it totally ambiguous at all times by using a relaxed voice so you don't imply that you are or aren't exclusive - let her do the imagination she wants to do.
I actually responded to her with a teasing "aw are you getting jealous?" with a smile on my face. She said "I can do what I want" but I could tell it was bugging her ha. I am just trying to gauge the best way to keep her around and interested over the long term without having to fully commit anytime soon.
 

Barrister

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lol, so you want to maintain "alpha frame". o_O

Then you do what is good for you on your terms. If they like it great, if not then find another one that likes your style. Be true to yourself! Don't worry about what she feels is appropriate.

I wouldn't cater to some ho that put out on the first date and is already asking if women will be hanging around you while on your trip.

She's a crazy biatch! Just wait and see!
Isn't that the terminology we use around here? "Frame" and "alpha"? Am I doing this right?

You could be right that she is a hoe and is crazy. Although she is foreign so not sure I can use the same normal standards as it relates to her sexual proclivities. Regardless, I am not looking to fully commit to her or anything. I do like her - but just want to maintain what I have with her right now without her losing interest. Hence why I am asking for the advice on the best way to do that.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

The Duke

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Yes you are correct with the terminology. I just thought it was comical that you wanted to be alpha like but were worried about appeasing her.
 

ohrein

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I am just trying to gauge the best way to keep her around and interested over the long term without having to fully commit anytime soon.
It's counter intuitive but it's exactly this mentality that causes problems. She should be trying to keep you around. However, despite some claims, most women eventually will want to commit. I had a FWB for seven months, she was 22 so way before pre-wall, never once discussed exclusivity. Seven months later, you can only sleep with someone for so long right? Lost a plate because I didn't want to be exclusive.

Anyway, I think it's unreasonable to be asking for exclusivity in the first month or two. Just makes jokes about moving too quickly or how that will upset your other girlfriends etc.

Isn't that the terminology we use around here? "Frame" and "alpha"? Am I doing this right?
Frame is essentially the set of values and expectations you hold. A woman is in your frame if she follows your leadership and adheres to your values knowingly. It is a deference of the feminine to the masculine. Frame is not overt control. An example would be telling a woman, "The kind of woman I want to date wouldn't spend the night alone with male friends." If she replies, "That's something I've always done, that's not fair, wah wah wah, I'm not gonna stop doing that.", she is not in your frame. For your situation, if you say, "I don't become exclusive with a woman this early on." and she replies, "Well I need some commitment to know I'm not wasting my time.", she is not in your frame. I want to clarify again that frame is not overt control. You do not force a woman into your frame. She either follows because she wants to please you or she does not and you next her.

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

To quote Rollo, "Alpha is a mindset." It's a set of thoughts and behaviors that are masculine. Beta thoughts and behaviors are feminine. Men lead, they dominate, they are independent, strong, and they do not compromise themselves for sex, period.

https://therationalmale.com/tag/alpha-male/
 

Clamslammer

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What are you looking out of this? A relationship, fwb?

If you are looking for a fwb keeping seeing her and banging and don't get feelings.

If you are looking for a relationship, I would forget about it since she banged you after the first date. I guarantee she has issues and banged plenty of other guys on a first date. A normal healty girl will not sleep with a guy that quick,it does not matter how good your game is.
 

Billtx49

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Two bangs and she’s already asking about and possibly soon trying to limit your access to other women…
Sounds like an early onset of controlling behavior to me.
At that speed she’ll probably want you to put a ring on it by month 3.
 
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Spaz

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Two bangs and she’s already asking about and possibly soon trying to limit your access to other women…
Sounds likean eatly onset of controlling behavior to me.
At that speed she’ll probably want you to put a ring on it by month 3.
^^This.

Remember this at all times. Don't ever forget it.

1st step by step manual in your Alpha-ness.
 

flowtheory

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It's counter intuitive but it's exactly this mentality that causes problems. She should be trying to keep you around. However, despite some claims, most women eventually will want to commit. I had a FWB for seven months, she was 22 so way before pre-wall, never once discussed exclusivity. Seven months later, you can only sleep with someone for so long right? Lost a plate because I didn't want to be exclusive.

Anyway, I think it's unreasonable to be asking for exclusivity in the first month or two. Just makes jokes about moving too quickly or how that will upset your other girlfriends etc.



Frame is essentially the set of values and expectations you hold. A woman is in your frame if she follows your leadership and adheres to your values knowingly. It is a deference of the feminine to the masculine. Frame is not overt control. An example would be telling a woman, "The kind of woman I want to date wouldn't spend the night alone with male friends." If she replies, "That's something I've always done, that's not fair, wah wah wah, I'm not gonna stop doing that.", she is not in your frame. For your situation, if you say, "I don't become exclusive with a woman this early on." and she replies, "Well I need some commitment to know I'm not wasting my time.", she is not in your frame. I want to clarify again that frame is not overt control. You do not force a woman into your frame. She either follows because she wants to please you or she does not and you next her.

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

To quote Rollo, "Alpha is a mindset." It's a set of thoughts and behaviors that are masculine. Beta thoughts and behaviors are feminine. Men lead, they dominate, they are independent, strong, and they do not compromise themselves for sex, period.

https://therationalmale.com/tag/alpha-male/
Saved that to my notes. Solid post
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Guys,

Met a lady for a first date at a bar/restaurant this past Saturday. Immediately escalated and had great chemistry. Went out to her car and made out and were getting ready to bang when an officer came by and flashed us with a light and told us we had to leave. We didn't get to finish up that night but when I got home she had sent a text that she wanted me to see me the next day for "unfinished business." She came over Sunday evening and we banged. We then texted off and on until yesterday (Tuesday) where we met again and played miniature golf, got a bite to eat, then went back to her place and had sex again and I spent the night.

In the morning, she asked about a trip I am taking out of the state this coming weekend to go see a family relative and when she could see me again. She also asked if there were going to be other women around this weekend. I'm not ready to fully commit to her after not even knowing her a week, but I do dig this woman as I am highly attracted to her. My question is what have you guys found to be an appropriate level of communication at the point where you have gone out multiple times and smashed it more than once?

I don't want to communicate too much myself and come off needy - but I do know some women will expect more than just an occasional text at this point to know that I am not just stringing her along. Again, I am not ready to say I want to be fully committed to just her, but I do like her and think I may like that in the future. I want to maintain the "alpha" frame and not screw up. Advice?
Let her initiate. Likely, she has higher kill count and is seeking Chad. Your being overly available will only speed up the process of the inevitable.

Next set son. Go get baes. Let her contact you.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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It's counter intuitive but it's exactly this mentality that causes problems. She should be trying to keep you around. However, despite some claims, most women eventually will want to commit. I had a FWB for seven months, she was 22 so way before pre-wall, never once discussed exclusivity. Seven months later, you can only sleep with someone for so long right? Lost a plate because I didn't want to be exclusive.

Anyway, I think it's unreasonable to be asking for exclusivity in the first month or two. Just makes jokes about moving too quickly or how that will upset your other girlfriends etc.



Frame is essentially the set of values and expectations you hold. A woman is in your frame if she follows your leadership and adheres to your values knowingly. It is a deference of the feminine to the masculine. Frame is not overt control. An example would be telling a woman, "The kind of woman I want to date wouldn't spend the night alone with male friends." If she replies, "That's something I've always done, that's not fair, wah wah wah, I'm not gonna stop doing that.", she is not in your frame. For your situation, if you say, "I don't become exclusive with a woman this early on." and she replies, "Well I need some commitment to know I'm not wasting my time.", she is not in your frame. I want to clarify again that frame is not overt control. You do not force a woman into your frame. She either follows because she wants to please you or she does not and you next her.

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

To quote Rollo, "Alpha is a mindset." It's a set of thoughts and behaviors that are masculine. Beta thoughts and behaviors are feminine. Men lead, they dominate, they are independent, strong, and they do not compromise themselves for sex, period.

https://therationalmale.com/tag/alpha-male/
Early side of 20. Big ups.

Not shocking she disappeared.

Female logic. Hypergamy.

There's rolls book online free pdf. Guys should read.

Fdr shows truth on sex, high kill count, skiing down cawk mountain guarantees divorce and likely cucking.

Frame is so money. Listen to what she says and how it aligns with what she does. Most don't deserve exclusive.


Look, a framework that men don't adopt is the sacrifice we make being with and providing for women. Women assume value regardless of how high her kills, sex tapes, and **** end of 20s. Cucks are still throwing in on grenades.


Being willing to walk goes a long way. This is why, I won't ever marry. Common law is out. Huge Rollo fan but, he's married.

It blows me away at how much smoke and no fire. He's 99% bang on. Married is foolish in the west. Even with much of the plate spinning and pickup, few people have it figured out.

IMHO it's about seeking self knowledge, explore consciousness, and be living at your edge, purpose > women. Obv go get baes just not at the detriment of oneself.

Note, female nature and Hypergamy. Make nature in spreading the seed.

Ideal for both to transcend and go beyond their nature.
 

EyeBRollin

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Guys,

Met a lady for a first date at a bar/restaurant this past Saturday. Immediately escalated and had great chemistry. Went out to her car and made out and were getting ready to bang when an officer came by and flashed us with a light and told us we had to leave. We didn't get to finish up that night but when I got home she had sent a text that she wanted me to see me the next day for "unfinished business." She came over Sunday evening and we banged. We then texted off and on until yesterday (Tuesday) where we met again and played miniature golf, got a bite to eat, then went back to her place and had sex again and I spent the night.

In the morning, she asked about a trip I am taking out of the state this coming weekend to go see a family relative and when she could see me again. She also asked if there were going to be other women around this weekend. I'm not ready to fully commit to her after not even knowing her a week, but I do dig this woman as I am highly attracted to her. My question is what have you guys found to be an appropriate level of communication at the point where you have gone out multiple times and smashed it more than once?

I don't want to communicate too much myself and come off needy - but I do know some women will expect more than just an occasional text at this point to know that I am not just stringing her along. Again, I am not ready to say I want to be fully committed to just her, but I do like her and think I may like that in the future. I want to maintain the "alpha" frame and not screw up. Advice?
She's doing too much too soon. She has self-esteem issues.

As for you, accept her invitations but space them out more. She should not get access to you so easily. If you ****ed on Sunday, and she asks to see you again on Monday, back her off until the following Sunday. She's going to burn out of you in 2 weeks tops.
 

Barrister

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She's doing too much too soon. She has self-esteem issues.

As for you, accept her invitations but space them out more. She should not get access to you so easily. If you ****ed on Sunday, and she asks to see you again on Monday, back her off until the following Sunday. She's going to burn out of you in 2 weeks tops.
I am slated to see her tomorrow (Wednesday). It will have been a full week since I have seen her last. I have sent a couple of texts per day (about equal on who has initiated), usually trying to keep it light hearted and humorous. I want to maintain contact as I am not sure I agree with the NC principle between dates like some DJs here seem to advocate for. She has been very responsive throughout the week.

In the meantime I have gone out with another chick yesterday and am lining a couple more up. I am finding that between my work schedule and after-work schedule this is generally leaving me with very little flexibility/freedom which I suppose is the whole idea with staying busy and improving my perceived value. What is the maximum amount of women you talk to at once? I am at four right now and am finding it difficult to do. Two of them I find much more interesting/attractive than the other two, with one of those two being the one I mentioned here in the OP.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Barrister

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What are you looking out of this? A relationship, fwb?

If you are looking for a fwb keeping seeing her and banging and don't get feelings.

If you are looking for a relationship, I would forget about it since she banged you after the first date. I guarantee she has issues and banged plenty of other guys on a first date. A normal healty girl will not sleep with a guy that quick,it does not matter how good your game is.
Point taken by you and the others about her sleeping with me too soon. And here I was getting all ****y in my abilities! Ha

I am not looking for something serious with her. I hate calling it FWBs but I suppose it is closer to that that I am looking for than all-out relationship. I want to maintain what I have with her because I do enjoy spending time with her but don't want to have to fully commit as I am enjoying the single life right now and the freedom that comes with it after getting out of a long, painful relationship relatively recently. Hence why I wanted advice on the best way to keep this girl on the line without having to get extremely serious. I understand I run the risk of her walking away though if I don't show enough interest moving forward.
 
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